I was hanging out with my mother and brother when I wanted to talk to them. We were at some mall when I got the feeling. I pulled my phone out from my jacket and I opened the group chat that has grown quite active if you were to look at it. Obviously I'm glad that we were back to feeling absolutely comfortable with one another. I just wanted to get something out of the way.

What went wrong with us to begin with? Like I know that communication was the biggest issue, but what was it in detail?

I sent the text and when I saw that no one had seen it for like a minute, I put my phone on the table and looked at my family. Who were already looking at me. "What?" "You never really have your phone out when you are with us. Are you texting them?" Greg asked and I nodded my head and looked at my phone as it buzzed a few times. "I am so happy for you baby! You're reconnecting with the ones that you love once again. We always told you that you would be with them again. There was no doubt in my mind!" My mother chirped and I smiled at that.

"Thanks mom, I just wanted to see what caused all of this in the first place. I know that I can't dwell on our past relationship, but there is nothing wrong with me asking, right?" "I think that's a good move to make. Just to see what happened that made the communication due out. That way, there will be more security for the second time," my brother says with a smile on his face. I nodded my head and picked my phone back up. To see that they did respond. Louis was the first to say something. I unlocked my phone and read what they had to say.

Louis💙: I really think that it was fear taking over for the most part. Most of us had insecurities and thoughts that we didn't feel comfortable confessing about just yet.

Harry💚: We were also approaching a part of life where you REALLY need to think about what you want to do in your future. Sure we were sure of what we want to do in our future career wise, but personally means a lot more than that.

Liam💛: It's not like we didn't want to make that commitment. We have dreamed about it throughout most of the relationship after all. I think it was just... We were really close to that point and there is a chance that each of us somewhat knew that we weren't at our best to make that move.

Zayn❤️: And instead of confessing about our true feelings and our fears, we closed each other out and distanced ourselves mentally.

Louis💙: Which was like suffocation and there was only a matter of time for us to break and break apart. Even when we tried to take a break for only a moment. It didn't help the situation at hand.

Harry💚: And we knew what to do deep down. We knew that we needed to end things. We were just scared of the thought of breaking up.

...I didn't expect to see all of this... This is so deep and I'm close to crying. I'm in public too!

Harry💚: Even though what we said is true... HARRY TO THE RESCUE!

Harry!

Louis💙: ...never thought that I would see something like that from Harry. They guy makes knock knock jokes for a living....

Liam💛: 🫥🫥🫥

Zayn❤️: I think... I think Harry has definitely changed.

Harry💚: It got you from crying, didn't it?

Yeah...

I shook my head at his silly meme and I looked at my family, seeing them looking at me with raised eyebrows. I blushed and turned my phone off for the time being. It still buzzed a few times and I was close to looking at it again, but I wanted to give my mom and brother some of my attention too, since that is why I'm all of the way out here. I came over here for a visit, so it would be wrong for me to utilize all of that time to be texting my former lovers.

"So what was all that about?" Greg asked after a small moment of neither of us saying anything. "Oh um...just wanted to talk to them a little. Sorry if I was being rude..." "You weren't. We are pretty happy seeing you communicate with the ones who made you happy," my mother says, shaking her head dismissively. "Yeah, we were just watching you being all happy and smiley. They are truly the ones for you I swear," he tells me and I just smiled a bit bigger.

The three of us continued on with our hangout before we went back to my brothers place and I played with my nephew for a little bit and the smile that was on his face just makes me want to have one someday. I just want it with the right person... or people. Yeah... there were multiple times where I did think of starting a family with those four men. They will for sure be great fathers one day, I just know it. I know that it is a bit serious for me to be thinking this way when we aren't even back together, but that is just how I feel I guess....

I took a picture of my nephew and I sent the photo to my former boyfriends, and they were quick to show love. Yeah... I want them to be the fathers of my kids....

Harry: Such a handsome face! Tell him that I said hello.
Louis: I can really see why Lottie is trying to get pregnant. Just imagine seeing a face like that in front of you every day and night.
Liam: He is so adorable! He deserves so much!
Zayn: He has some really nice looking blue eyes! I can just feel my love for the little guy love intensify just through my phone

I chuckled and shared what they had to say with my brother and his wife. The two of them smiled and thanked them for the compliments. I stayed with them for dinner before I had to head to the hotel that I was staying at. I reached out to my friends as I was heading back and I was talking about nothing else besides my former boyfriends. They made comments about how there wasn't much time before I talk about us trying again. The only thing is that we are just now working on the relationship itself, but I'm really just waiting for them to say before I try to get closer to them even more.

Anyways, I get back to the hotel and I was soon inside of my room. I took a little video and posted it onto my socials with the caption reading 'Last night here before I go back to London. Home is always the place to be sometimes❤️.' I walked to the bathroom and started to get myself changed into more comfortable clothing. As I do so, my phone started to vibrate and I looked at it to see that Louis was calling me. I hurried to answer and I placed my phone back on the counter and proceeded to change.

"Hey Louis. Is everything okay?" I asked and I heard a hum on the other end. "I really didn't have a specific reason to call you. It's just one of those calls where I just wanted to talk to one of you and you're that person," he says to me and I smiled softly as I was listening to him. "Well aren't I lucky to be hearing you?" I teased and I heard him chuckle a bit. "Indeed you are. Now... You will be back here tomorrow?" He asked. "Yeah. I'm always visiting here for at least 5 days before I go back." "It's been a minute since we've been there. Maybe we could go there sometime?" "Yeah. My friends and family all miss you guys ," I said and picked up my phone as I was done getting ready.

"I'm just surprised that you haven't bought a home out there yet?" "Never really found a reason to. I just want one home as I am not a celebrity who has many homes all over the world," I retired and brushed my teeth. "I guess you do have a point there," he agreed and I soon spit the toothpaste out.

As we talked, there were a few times where I thought about the breakup.

It was such a heartbreaking moment.

Flashback
"So we are really doing this... Breaking up?" Liam asked as we were in the apartment that Harry primarily owned that we just chose to meet up at. We were going to talk about our relationship and what our final choice was going to be. Which was to break up unfortunately.

"Yeah..." Harry spoke next and there was just sadness thickening in the air as we were really realizing what was happening. We of course didn't want this to happen, but as the issue has yet to resolve, it was only best for us to have a bit more space and time from one another. Go on a soul search as you might word it. At least that is what Harry explained it to be. Which is the honest truth. It isn't like he was speaking out of his ass.

"Wow... This is actually happening," Louis spoke and I heard his voice crack mid way and even though we really wanted to act like everything was going to be okay and that everything is fine, it really wasn't. We were sad and we were now grieving the relationship that we had together. I was definitely crying and they were coming to that right about now. It was something that they can't even act like doesn't effect them.

We sat together for a bit of time before Harry just said, "I do really hope that there will be a point where we will be able to get back to how we were and be happy. I hope that this will happen again as I didn't ever imagine this happening. I really did see forever with us, but I think that this is for the best as well." I looked at him and just didn't know what to say yet. "I really don't want this to be the last of us. If we aren't meant to be and we end up being with other people, then I really hope that we can stay as friends. I'm not trying to be that type of guy who doesn't mean what he says, but I really feel this way. I want to be a part of your life in any way possible..."

I still didn't know what to say.

We did eventually depart and the first place that I went to was my family's house and my brother grew protective really fast. He pulled me into his arms and I broke down. I was happy that he was visiting my mom momentarily.

"What happened? Did those boys hurt you?" He asked when we were sitting together. "We... We broke up," I cried and he softened. "I knew that it was... Was going to happen... But it still hurts..." "Understandably... Everything is going to be okay though. Don't worry about this. It's only temporary I'm sure..." He says while rubbing my back.
Flashback over

And my brother was actually right...

"I love you..." I said softly when there was a moment of just silence.

"I love you too Niall. I hope that we get to hang out soon when you get back," he responds and I smiled. "I'd really like that," I said softly and I laid back in my bed. "Did you eat today?" I then asked and he hummed again. "As we are getting back to being comfortable with talking and spending time together, Harry stopped by earlier today to hang out with me and drop some food off." "Oh? Did you do anything special?" "Nothing really too big. Just kind of had a date night in." "A date?" "We didn't say anything about it, but the vibe and the setting is basically putting us in the date type of mood."

"Did you guys kiss?" That question brought silence. "Yes... I kissed him. It was like towards the end of it and the tension was pretty high. I just crawled over and asked if I could and he nodded his head. It wasn't long, but it was sweet," he said and I could tell that he was smiling.

Yeah... We are getting closer...
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