"She was the image of beauty, truly. Nothing has ever compared to her in all my years."

The tapping at her shutters had her jolting from her bed with a strangled sound half-formed in her throat, a hand reached up to her heart so that she could feel the flutter of her panic and fear in her nearly asleep state. 

Then it sounds again and she scrambling from the bed, grabbing an empty basin bowl that she holds carefully in her hand. She considers going to fetch Rodick, using him to scare away whoever had dared come to her window, but she figures that's an incredibly terrible idea. He would overdo something like this, probably demand the poor soul hanged. 

Carefully, she flips the latch and pushes one side open, squinting through the onslaught of pale moonlight at a familiar head of dark hair. 

The bowl hangs loosely at her side, her fear replaced with a pounding of emotion in her chest. 

"Alec! What are you doing here?" she gasps, resting against the ledge, shifting her body so that she was leaning out the window partially, she eagerly reaches for him -- stopping him from going too far away from her grasp. "Are you aware of the time?" 

"It's late. I'm sorry, I wanted to see you. I want to thank you," he whispers, not bothering to try and free himself from the tight grip that she has on his loose sleep shirt. "Father Acker came and spoke to us. He invited us to his next sermon. He truly wants us there." 

"Oh, Alec! Of course, he would. You have just as much right to be there as anyone else does." 

"But it is because of you and your actions that we are permitted to return." 

She beams at him, inching herself closer to him out of the window. The basin makes a soft thud against the wall at the motion. "You will sit upfront with me, then? Your whole family can sit with mine. It will be nice." 

"I'm not sure if that would be appropriate yet, but I hope to be near you soon." 

Warmth burst through her, a giddy joy that she hardly knows how to contain as she uses her hold on his shirt to yank him forward. 

The kiss, because she was not foolish enough to call it anything silly for the sake of propriety, was like a burst of colour behind her eyes, a series of images that flash, showing everything she has ever wanted -- everything that she has ever pictured. 

His mouth was cold, chilled from the night and the winds that whipped at him from the fading storm that had passed through. It did not take long for them to warm as she held him there, both unmoving, both inexperienced and uncertain of if and how they should proceed. 

Slowly, painstakingly slow, she releases her hold of him in a daze, and if there was a single moment that she would think him a witch, it would be now with her thoughts halted and chest squeezing the inability to breathe without holding him to her. 

It was easy to become addicted to such a feeling, to such an intimate gesture, that she wasn't sure she would ever be able to go without. Robyn knew at that moment that her fate was sealed, that she was never going to love anyone other than Alec ever again. 

"You- you just..." he stammers, fingers held to his lips. His cheeks took on a charming pink hue that was barely visible in the poor light but enough for her to fill with a rightful sense of satisfaction. 

If she had her way, then she would have bewitched him just as he has thoroughly done to her.  

"I did and will do so again if you permit me the chance," she says only a little smug. "I'm guided by the moonlight in my heart and it leads me to you." 

"You speak such pretty words, Robyn, that I find myself speechless by your affections. I wish that you would give me the chance to dazzle you instead." 

"Oh, Alec, my love, you dazzle me with your every waking moment. I would be content to spend the rest of my days simply watching you." 

She can feel the rush of his heart beneath her hands still pressed to his chest. Robyn is sure that he can feel hers exactly the same. 

Never had she truly imagined that he would speak to her like this, that he would be open about his feelings, but it seemed the small matter of hope was enough to encourage him to pursue her if only in secret. Robyn was fine with that. She could live her days in privacy so long as they were always together. She could wait however long he needed to be ready for there was no one better than him. 

Alec sighs, momentarily leaning into her touch. "You are so eagerly prepared to waste your life on me. I cannot fathom the depths I would go to see that you are settled with someone better off than I."  

"You cannot fathom the depths that I would go to secure a happy marriage between us," Robyn breathes. "I cannot dream of a life spent with another. You are the only one that is meant for me, Alec." 

"How?"

"Pardon?"

"How," he repeats, "can you be so certain of such an existence? How are you content in doing so?" 

Robyn breathes out heavily, pushing herself further out the window. She depended on his steady stance to keep from falling, the basin in her hand nearly teetering her over. "Alec, I may have been terrible to you. My actions despicable. Yet you have been the only one that I have encountered for which my affections, my love, exist for. I have made mistakes in the past. I have been wrong before, but I know better now, I know that I shan't be set adrift again for I refuse to let my love go," she tells him, eyes burning with unshed tears. He gives a quasi-smile at her words. "Alec, I would do anything. I commit the most treacherous of sins. I swear it, Alec, that I would be most content with such a life for a life with you is all I ask." 

In a blur of movement, he had captured her lips with his once more, a hand moving to cup her cheek as he holds them together. 

More prepared than she had been before, Robyn applies the same amount of pressure, slowly moving her lips that trembled with emotion. It was all very novice, but a kiss was a kiss and she would suffocate happily if it meant being attached to him forever. 

Alec presses more firmly, drawing her into his face and she can feel the exhale of his warm breath against her cheeks with the shift. 

She whimpers at the action and he swallows it greedily, lips growing more fervent, more sure. 

Just as suddenly as it began, Alec pulls away, backing as far as he could while still keeping her steady -- arms stretched out to prevent her from falling from the window. 

Regardless, she nearly falls anyway, legs weak beneath her as she sways in place, eyelids quite heavy as though she were in a daze. 

"You are a wicked temptress, Robyn," he gasps. She nearly sobs at the name. "I- will you go to the meadow tomorrow? Our meadow?" 

She nods eagerly. "Of course. I always go to the meadow in hopes that you come." 

"I will come tomorrow, in the morning," he says, the emotion in his voice more than she had ever heard from him before. "I will see you in the morning, Robyn. Early with the birds." 

"Yes! Yes, I look forward to seeing you!" 

He hushes her with a soft chuckle. "I will see you then, Robyn. Until then." 

Slowly, she draws herself back through the window, nipping at her bottom lip as she strains to contain her squeal. "Until then, my Alec." 

He hesitates, shifting his feet before shooting her a wide grin. He takes off with a smile still on his face and Robyn watching him as far as she can see disappear in the moonlight. Oh, how wonderful he was, how beautiful. 

Robyn sighed as he walked away before she dreamily made her way back to bed. 

Come morning, Robyn was readily wide awake long before the sun rose, a pot of porridge left to remain warm on a low burning fire as she was already out the door sprinting down a hidden path that she was slow beginning to pave from years of passing to their meadow. 

The grass and worn down and branches snipped away so that she could pass easily and without fear of getting snagged once again.

She was moving faster than she dared but she knew that her cheeks were rosy or they would be by the time that she reached Alec in the meadow. She was eager, thrumming with joy, and she simply could not wait to see him. It had only been the night before, the wonderful night before, but the feelings that rushed through her could not be false. 

Robyn loved this boy more than she ever had before, more than she was likely to love any else and to see him now without fear of being caught, without worry that they were going to face consequences only drove her to move faster. 

Her breath came out in powerful puffs and pants, huffing with each step. Skirts caught around her leg, slowing her the longer that she ran on. 

Close now, the meadow just within sight, and she skids to a stop, fixing her appearance as quickly that she might with the little she had to do so. 

With a deep breath, Robyn walks the rest of the way, eyes darting over the wildflowers and trees that surround them. He was seated in the center, right leg drawn to his chest that he rests his elbow upon. His head was tilted back, eyes closed to the rising sun as he listened to the birds chirp their morning songs. 

She stopped for a moment, taking in the sight of him with a stilted breath. 

"It is a fair morning today, is it not?" she says in way of greeting, hair loose around her shoulder brushing down to the bottom of her back in a way that no one had ever truly seen of her before. 

It shifts before her, laying loose around her shoulders. It looks like fire in the dim morning light. She tucks a stand behind her ears. 

Alec opens his eyes slowly, a smile already stretching his cheeks at the sound of her voice. 

"Aye, it's a... fine... morning," he gapes, jaw-dropping as he takes her in. "Beautiful."

She's thankful that her cheeks were already quite warm from her run. "Thank you." 

"You knew that quite well already, did you not?" he asks, unable to look away from her. "You did it on purpose." 

Grinning, she joins him, legs curled close at his side, touching his. She pulls a ribbon from her sleeve. "Oh, certainly. I wanted to look nice for you this morning." 

"I always find you quite charming to look at," he says. "You're the finest girl in the village. The prettiest girl that I should ever see." 

"Just as you are the most handsome man that I shall ever meet as well," she whispers, leaning so that she was resting against his propped up leg. "This is why I have chosen you above all others, of course," she jests lightly. 

Alec laughs. "If that is so, then I shall not wory to tell you are in my affections because I shall never forget my prayers when you are around." 

"For prayers?" she shakes her head with a laugh, "then I am afraid that you are to be disappointed. Rodick would be better suited for that." 

"Ah, then to remind me of my sins, then." 

"You ought to know that your actions could never be contrived as a sin." 

"You know that is not how it works, surely."

Robyn sighs. "Surely, yet that does not hold my hope that you will be granted passage to the Kingdom of God despite it all. You are worthy of the world, Alec." 

He shifts closer, bending his leg inward slightly so it brought her into his space. If anyone was to wander by she would be ruined. The thought is more thrilling than it has any right to be. 

"Your voice makes flowers grow," Alec says dreamily, "it is so sweet." 

"Only for you would I bother with such kindness," she whispers. 

Even closer, he's bent over enough that she could easily steal a kiss is she desired, could have pushed herself until they were both laid among the flowers. 

"Did anyone see you leave?" he breathes. 

"They do not need to. I am in the same place every morning." 

He sighs. "Then perhaps we ought not to sit so close. It would not do well to get you in trouble." 

Robyn shakes her head, arms darting out to catch him around the middle, pressing herself to him in the most intimate of ways. "I do not care for trouble so long as we are together. Let them try and cast the first stone and I will expose them all in return. I shall ruin them tenfold." 

"You are an evil thing, Robyn," he muses. "It is positively delightful." 

"Then allow us to speak of this no longer. Tell me anything that you desire, speak however you wish." 

"Speak how I wish? There is nothing for me to say." 

"There is plenty," she argues. "Tell me what you do when you are free to be idle and leisurely." 

Alec sighs, a hand coming up to play with the ends of her hair distractedly. She can hear the beat of his heart quick and steady beneath her. "I enjoy little. I converse with Jane when the mood fancies her and carve little trinkets from scraps of wood. Often I am aiding my sister with her chores of mending or talking walks about the village. I enjoy keeping to the shadows, observing the people from afar in a very detached manner." 

"I have seen your carvings. They are wonderful," she remarks. "Perhaps, if it suits you, I might join you on one of these walks. Jane can act a chaperone if you believe it too scandalous for the public to be alone in one another's company." 

"Would you not wish for Rodick to be a chaperone? Would it not be more appropriate?" 

'Wouldn't you want your brother around?' she translates, 'You were always so close to him as your confidante.' 

"No, I would much prefer Jane. Rodick is not so charming as I had once believed." 

Alec's hand stills for a moment before he returns to his clam ministrations. "Do you have a falling out?" 

She pulls a face. "Something of the like. Brother has been very tired with his concern for Mother that it has made him particularly nasty. I would not be wrong in saying that he will suffer from his nerves soon just as she does," Robyn mutters bitterly. "Something has shifted between us. I believe that he blames me, in part, for her condition due to my relationship with Father. Our once easy companionship is beyond strained to the point where amicable moments between us are few and far between." 

"You have my sympathies. I would not relish in such a strained relationship with Jane," he says in a tight voice, as if the mere thought was unbearable. 

In a way, Robyn supposed it was. For a long time, it had been just the two of them -- Jane and Alec -- that being at odds would hardly be pleasant for either of them. They had grown close in their forced solitude, dependent on that close relationship for comfort. No, such a thing was unimaginably unbearable for the twins, any such possibility did not sit with her comfortably. 

"Thank you, but your sympathies are hardly necessary. It is not a heavy loss on my part, of that I am certain. I could do with Rodick's condescending attitude and bland personality. He has turned himself into a man that speaks of little and always the same things," she says. "he is astoundingly boring and dull, and hardly ever lets me get in a word lest he requires something from me. He is woeful over his lack of connection that I gain so readily." 

"I'm afraid that is how I have always viewed him," he says. 

"Aye, well I am not shocked. He does not do well to put on a face before others. He displays every emotion outwardly upon his face, astoundingly. He is like a child still in that regard." 

Alec makes a soft tutting sound. "That is not nice to say. He is still family." 

"I did not choose him," she sniffs, eyes sliding closed as she listened to his heart. "As I am sure that he did not choose me." 

"I chose you," Alec whispers slyly. She can hear the smile in his voice. 

"Aye, I chose you. I will always be glad that I did so." 

He does not reply but his hand draws her head closer to his chest. He does sigh, however, drawing out his movements as he reluctantly releases his hold on her, encouraging her to do the same. 

"Come," Alec says, "I will braid flowers into your hair for you. Jane has taught me how." 

Robyn smiles up at him blindingly. "Only if you pick your favourite wildflowers so that I may be justified in thinking only of you all day." 

His laugh is quiet, always quiet and deep, breathy, but still, it is always the most beautiful thing she has ever heard. Everything about Alec shall always be the most beautiful. 

"We shall see what can be done." 

"I would do anything for the chance to see her beyond my thoughts once more because they can never compare." 

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unedited 

written: 2020-08-03

posted: 2020-08-11