"As embarrassing as it might be, she never failed to make my heart soar with nothing but her smile."

The chime of the bell plagued her, haunting her even with her eyes closed and face to the sun as Robyn tried to pretend that it wasn't her that was ringing it this time, that she was somewhere else and that the handle of the brass bell wasn't making her hand ache terribly. 

It was a silly time to imagine such a thing, utterly pointless truly, but it was the only thing that kept her from swaying on her feet that particular morning. 

Mother had been oddly calm yesterday evening. She had been all pleasant smiles and tender words. That night, however, had been absolutely awful, as she continued to wake them screaming and howling as though she was in physical pain. As it were, this morning had hardly been any better. 

She hadn't had the chance to head to the meadow and had it not been twice that she and Alec had secreted away together for longer than they ought to have since that first day then she might have been worried.

Still, she might have been worried all the same as the twins, no one really, from the Law family had come to service since her Father had gone to welcome them. Logically, she knew that her Father held a small mass nearly every day for those who had the time to attend and there was only one service in which all were truly expected to show, but it was still worrying. She wanted them to come so desperately that it made her fear she might have caught her MOther's frantic nerves as well. 

"Open your eyes, sister, you look ridiculous." 

"That's hardly any different from how you look daily," she snaps back just as quickly, not bothering to open her eyes yet to give him the satisfaction. 

"Is that how you wish to start the day? With needless quarrel?" 

She peaks an eye open to curiously take him. "This is hardly the start of the day and it would hardly be the first time that you've so needlessly picked a quarrel. I am permitted to close my eyes if I so wish. You cannot force me to see things, Rodick, honestly." 

"You perceive the way you so carelessly speak to me and my defence so easy to disregard as nothing? How do you eternally persist in your innocence eve over such trivial matters?" He demands, stepping into her space to roughly grab her arm, forcing her to face him fully. 

The bell jingles of tune in her hand but it does not fall from her tightened, furious grip. 

"Release me, now," she seethes. "I cannot fathom where you get the right to presume that you may touch me in such a way, but release me at once before I cause a scene and tell all of your violent tendencies." 

"No one shall care of my violent tendencies when it comes to such a heathen such as yourself," he growls,  aiming to drag her into the church, away from the prying eyes that stood outside in waiting, enjoying the bright sun just as she had. 

Robyn sneers. "You have little hopes for marriage, then, it seems. Any good father would not allow his daughter to marry a man who abuses their family despite their status. They have all seen that I have done nothing and it is you that acts without control of your impulses. If you have any hopes for your future, then you shall let me go at once brother." 

He pauses, stilling just within the entrance to the open church doors, still holding tight to her arm. In that moment, he looked younger, looked more his age, more like her brother than he had in a long while, and it struck Robyn with unneeded longing. 

"Do you always hold such a low opinion of me, sister?" he asks in a small voice.

Turning her arm purposely, he lets her go. She makes sure not to grab at it to rub at the touchy pain. "Must I truly answer?" she replies, just as quiet. "My opinions are my own for my own mind. Then ought not to be given so freely." 

Sadness spasms across his expression briefly before he nods in acceptance. "Return to you bell ringing, sister," he says. "I think I see your friends approaching." 

"Friends?" she repeats, looking behind her with a wrinkle to her nose. 

Two things happen at once. One, Robyn is flushed with joy that she unwittingly flings the bell in her hand at Rodick who narrowly catches it with a gasp; and two, in a moment of uncharacteristic gracelessness, she trips over her own feet and nearly sends herself sprawling down the few steps that there were onto the packed dirt floor. 

Luckily, she manages to avoid the ground at the expense of her shoulder that she bangs against the door frame on the way down. She makes a pitiful sound of comprised of a mixture of pain and embarrassment before she rises to her feet.  

She staggers for a moment, regaining her bearings. With a skip, she makes her way to their side with a tiny half-smile. 

They were dressed well, put together in a way that she could not remember seeing in quite some time. It had been years since they had last had a reason to dress so well, she believed. 

Jane was in a dark dress, a colour that was likely not to suffer from fading over time with hints of red spread in between in delicate embroidery designs. It was lovely and suited her well, the high collar framing her face as her hair was pulled back in a tight knot. 

Alec was in a clean linen shirt, but the bright red was stunningly similar to that of her hair, striking in the way it was illuminated in the sun. He wore leather cuffs around his wrists and had cleaned his boots from muck so that they were a soft brown leather colour. 

He was absolutely stunning, eyes bright with either nerves or joy, she wasn't sure. 

It took all of her to keep from throwing propriety and decorum to the wind by throwing herself into his arms. She knew well how it felt now to be held close by him and she would never quite enjoy anything else to such an extent again -- or at least not until she had truly gotten her wish of marrying the boy, then nothing should ever compare, she was sure. 

"You came," she says, happiness clear in her voice. Mr. and Mrs. Law pass them by with a short glance, eager to seat themselves proudly before the service commences. "I was worried that you would not." 

Jane scoffs but does not leave her brother's side. 

"I had sworn that I would consider it and I have," he says, voice soft. 

The presence of so many people easily explained his shyness. He had not been the bright, talkative child that he had been once since they had first begun to call them those terrible names. 

"I am glad. Will you be willing to sit with myself and my brother?" she asks simply. 

"It is not too soon for such a thing?" Jane wonders. 

"Certainly not, though, I shall understand perfectly well if it is you wish to sit with your parents." 

They both pull a face at that but are quick to disguise it behind a smooth, blank expression. 

"That won't be necessary," Alec says for them. 

Curiosity rears it's ugly head, begging for her to press. Instead, she just says: "Oh. Very well, we can head in to sit now if you wish." 

Jane nods, already moving toward the church. Her brother hesitates. 

"Do you not have to ring the bell?" he asks her gently. 

Shifting her hands, she shows him that she very much did not have to do so now that she had put the responsibility onto Rodick. "I do not at the moment, thankfully. We may be seated and comfortable now, if you wish." 

"It would be nice to prepare myself," he admits. 

With a nod, she turns and lets him lead them, slightly in advance as men often enjoyed doing. It was a fine thing, something that she did not mind doing for Alec so that people might see his importance. Robyn was not known for deferring to anyone. Her independence was the exact sort a girl of her age and position ought to have to still be an attractive catch. 

He stops, letting her join him at his side, the perfect example of why she will always love him so much. 

They enter the church together, seating themself in the front row with Jane at his left and Rodick at her right. 

And if she holds his hand throughout the length of the service, hidden within the folds of her skirt, then no one is the wiser -- even if Robyn wished to scream it out, to display it openly, for all to see. 

There had been whispers, she had expected that much, but that did not prevent the boiling anger that curled and crashed like angry flames within the depths of her stomach. It made her want to shriek in rage, made her want to explode and maim and just be angry of their behalf -- on his behalf because Alec was not the type to say a word in his own defence. 

It did not help that Rodick had grown increasingly more tense the longer that they sat together, with the twins so close and their Father speaking, he did not dare to speak a word of protest, but she could feel it in his posture. 

Robyn had held tighter to Alec's hand the more upset that she grew. She had been ready then to wack her brother over the head and be damned with the consequences. 

Perhaps that was why she had simply given her Father a purposeful look before she left with the twins, not allowing him the chance to prevent her from doing so. 

She did not allow them to run or shy fro the stares they received. She was rather smart that way, really, for showing that it bothered them would only encourage such appaling behaviour. More os, in a way that she would never admit, she had done so with the hope that Rodick might see and realize how utterly foolish he was being. 

Often she wondered if it was possible to make others see things the way she saw them. Many things would be better then, they would all be happier, freer, but she knew that such a thing was utterly ridiculous, even better, it would mean that she had to share Alec with the other young girls of the village that would be able to see how truly wonderful he was. 

Though, she would not mind sharing the attention she received with Jane. She was a pretty girl, fair with a strong will.

Keeping pace with her head held high confidently, chin held up, as she linked her arm with Jane's forcing the girl to accept her presence, Robyn paraded the pair around as though she had won the prize, a reminder to everyone that they were missing out. 

"What are you doing?" Jane hissed, digging her nails into Robyn's arm. 

The girl winced, wondering how much abuse she was meant to suffer today. 

"Walking." 

"Don't get smart with me," Jane snaps. "Why are you leaving with us?"

"Is it not sufficient to say that I wish to spend more time with you both. I am able to forgo my chores for the day and assist you with yours if you wish." 

"No, no, that's not necessary," Alec is quick to say, "It's not appropriate to allow you to assist us." 

"It is plenty appropriate. What will they say of kindliness and comradery? I can aid however I wish with their responsibilities as I like," she says stubbornly, strengthening her hold on Jane so that she could not push her away. "My Father did not disagree when I left with him. My chores are few and simple for the day. I can easily complete them tomorrow as well." 

"You are always so free to do as you wish," Jane says airily, a bitter tone to her voice. 

Robyn blinks slowly, biting back the urge to snap at her. She could forgive her attitude, for now, could let her become accustomed to having her around before she attempted to correct it before she insults someone that she shouldn't. 

"I can very well leave and hope to see you both soon," she says instead, turning her attention to Alec. Against herself, she yawns, quick to cover her mouth. "I- I can wait till tomorrow morning if you have had enough of me." 

"I shall never have enough of you," Alec tells her, avidly ignoring the look that his sister shoots him. "I would spend every waking hour with you if I had the choice." 

"Then why is this so different?" 

"Our chores are ours to do. You should not be there to help us. We are fine." 

She nods, meeting his eyes fully. She can't help but find him to be more and more handsome each time that she looks at him -- even as he, sort of, scolds her. A scolding that was the only one that she had truly listened to in years. It was much simpler to listen to someone when they weren't raising their voice or forcing her to listen. 

In her mind, it just proved that they truly were destined for one another and she was willing to do anything for him -- whether he asked her to or not. 

"Would you steal from me the pleasure of getting to stay by your side a little longer? I swear that I shan't assist you in any way." 

"You shan't?" he says with a half-smile. "And I shall trust a girl with such a strong will to sit aside, aye?" 

"Aye, you shall," she grins. 

Shaking his head, she drags Jane into action, urging her to move on so that she could walk beside Alec who let his hands hang loose at his sides, brushing innocently against her with the gentle sway of his arms. 

On the odd occasion, he curled his fingers into the hold of her skirts, tugging her just to release before Robyn could look over to meet his eye. 

Alec had never truly teased her before. It was wonderful! A moment that she could never forget because it was an outward expression of the affection that he had for her. The first that he was quite willing to display to her quite so openly, openly to the point where others could see -- risky. 

It was different when it was in secret. This, this felt a lot like being courted, at least in her sense of the word. 

Robyn hummed softly, timing it carefully, and when he shifts his hand down to tease her some more, she snaps her fingers to his and holds tight -- refusing to let go as she lightly swings their hands softly at their sides. 

With her head held high, she doesn't let him pull away easily, tempting fate as they went. 

Neither are eager to let go. 

"It pains me that I will never have someone look at me the way that she does ever again." 

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unedited 

written: 2020-08-04

posted: 2020-08-13