"We cannot deny that there is a monster inside of us all. That was what Robyn believed."

Robyn couldn't quite figure how long it had been since she had cowardly run away from the village -- had sprinted over the distance with her tail tucked between her legs, heart shattered to bits and tucked away behind tears that stung her eyes and trailed down her cheeks.

She couldn't quite recall the time that had passed, but she could remember still smell the smoke.

The fire that stuck high over the village that spread with the screams were pinned to her mind, burning her as it did when she reached too close to the flames crying out for him as he stood pinned to that mast like what they were doing was normal.

Jane at his side had screamed, cursed and yelled at everyone within sight -- promises of death tumbling from thinned lips as the flames licked higher dangerously.

It came in flashes of hard-wrought images, of pain that lanced through her hands from the tips of her fingers and a wailing mournful cry in her heart at the thought of him gone. At everything gone, because it was her alone that had run.

A coward, a damned coward is what she was, and Robyn could not shake that looming shadow from her soul no matter how long she sat immobile in that meadow where she had shares secret moments with the boy she loved. Their stolen kisses would stain the earth here forever, would spill over in the wildflowers that had once been stuck in her hair by hesitant hands that brushed a finger over her cheeks in a delicate manner.

Smoke curled up in the sky, reaching above the treetops that surrounded her, but Robyn couldn't shake the appearance of fire as red locks caught in the wind and danced at the edge of her vision. It was haunting, dragging her from the depths of her bones and sticking her to the one place she could still feel him because he was never truly at home in the village, not with the way he was treated, the way they tried to burn him.

Robyn could not remember the exact moment that the screams had stopped and had turned into an echoed memory that bounced around him in her thoughts.

She could not remember where the nightmares stopped and wakefulness began. The nightmares were okay until they continued when she was awake, her head playing tricks on her as she stared at the wildflowers, the fire flickering in and out of focus burning with her imagination.

The smoke around her, the signs of death, danced around her in tendrils, curling around her with each trembling breath caught with heavy-lidded eyes.

Something had come after she had left, something that she had missed by only a few minutes, that had razed through the village in order to bring them to terrified screams that eventually died away to an empty silence and the roar of fire that rose high over the trees.

Whatever that was, she couldn't even guess to, didn't even want to, as the fear that she was left completely alone, that whatever it was would come for her next.

Robyn was frightened and alone and she knew she would need to leave, to eat something more than the berries and fruits that grew near the meadow, that she would need more sustenance than water and fruits, than plants that she knew. She would need meat, she would need warmth, she would need to have a physician look over her burns before she succumbed to her injuries. 

But despite all that she knew, Robyn couldn't bring herself to leave the meadow, their meadow, where the heart and soul of her memories, of her relationship with Alec was born and matured. 

This was where they first kissed, where they would sneak away in the early mornings just to be together. This was where Robyn first declared her love and made her intentions clear. This was where she married her husband.

And without Alec... without Alec nothing else was worth it now.

Did she truly want to live without him? Did she truly want to live knowing that she killed her own brother because of her love for Alec?

Robyn wasn't sure. She didn't know. She didn't want to know.

The pain of it echoed in her chest, pounding against the inside of her ribs. Hammering away till tears formed in her eyes and her breath caught in her throat.

"Come back. Please, come back. Don't leave me," she cried, gasping out the words as she feel into her sadness once more, tumbling face first blindly into her grief and mourning and regret. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Alec, please come back. Please don't leave me here."

Truly, however, there was no reasoning or excuse for her words that she knew no one would hear. It was foolish, the efforts of a little girl that didn't know how to cope.

And honestly, she didn't know how to cope.

"I could speak to myself for hours. I could spy to myself endlessly and hope that my words transform into prayer,  it it is not in the cards for one so forsaken by God for there is no merciful God that would leave a devoted daughter to such sadness and despair," Robyn muttered through her sobs. "Either the lord does not care or I am not welcome to my prayers for I deserve nothing. I wish only that I could see him again, if only one more final time."

A rustle of the bushes had her jolting to her feet, a far off snap of a twig causing her chest to burn with fear.

Faster than she could imagine, he was standing there, frozen before her in a pretty image of dark wealthy clothing and perfect health.

A trembling hand rose to cover her mouth, a whispered cry that nearly had her tumbling forward with the force of emotions that came to her as an onslaught.

He was so perfect, so beautiful as he stood there before her -- eyes a burning red that made him look so wonderful that her heart raced and stomach filled with butterflies.

Sinfully, he made her knees weak as she yearned to be with him. He was a temptation in and of itself, a delicate thing that no longer looked so delicate, no longer required her shielding from the harshness of the world that he had grown to hate becoming something that she could not reach, something that could hurt others as he had been hurt, something that she required protection from.

All that he was, all that he had been, Robyn found the lines to blur and warp as she lost sight of the differences. Alec would always remain the same to her -- the love of her life -- and having spent the last few days believing him to have died in that fire, the redheaded girl was unsure if she was to lose consciousness or rejoice as he stood before her very much alive as he had last been when they were together in this very meadow.

It was unimaginable how much she loved him, a thing so strong and powerful and complete that even as her heart raced and he snarled in her direction, Robyn still wanted to have him in her arms, because she was sinful in her selfish desires and sinful in the love she had for him -- sinful in her desire to please him so much that she had let her village burn when they had tried to harm him.

For Robyn had always led a very sinful life, a very naughty existence as she worked to maneuver herself among the hierarchy of her unimportant town like only the woman of the night seemed to be capable of doing. A woman that could demand what she wanted with the subtle queues of her body, to be seen but never touched. Robyn had so enjoyed it, had fantasized what it would be like to feel his hands on her bare skin, had wondered if they would feel soft with his gentle caress or if it would be rough with the calluses of his palms.

Never again did she want anyone to put their hands on her skin, to hold her against her will, unless it was him that was setting her ablaze.

"Alec," the name came out as a soft whisper, a worshipped kiss off the smooth of her lips. Robyn watched as he stiffened, his fist tense at his sides, and she could not quite understand why he shook so violently from where he stood.

A sob escaped her, it all coming back in a rush.

He looked odd so far away standing in those shadows, hiding from her sight as she felt her heart continue to race. She needed him closer, needed to see for herself that he was before her, that he was real.

She took a step forward, the grass at her feet catching on the torn, dirty hem of her skirt, exposing her legs to her mid-calf as she approached him - she did not care, how could she care when it was only him?

"Alec, where have you been?" Robyn asked, gasping out the words as she stumbled a few steps toward him.

His jaw worked, clenching tightly enough that she could hear it from where she stood. Starting, Robyn took a small step back, eyes blown wide as she listened to the way he seemed to be growling at her, like an animal hunting its prey.

Suddenly she felt very small, very insignificant to him as she felt a true tremor of fear snake it's way down her spine, a creeping hand that tickled the hair at the back of her neck. It was a chill that came over their meadow, a coolness that made her gasp nervously.

"Alec, what--?"

Words halting in her throat, stolen away by a strangled gasp, Robyn found herself I hid arms held tightly — far too tightly to be comfortable as he squeezed her against him. His face buried in her hair, nose trailing a path as he breathed her in, drawing down and down until she felt his breath frozen on her neck that left him in abrupt pants — as thought he was a wild animal salivating over its prey.

"Alec?" She whispers.

He stills, squeezing her to him so tightly that she ached all over. A small noise of distress left her.

Robyn falls back with a soft yelp and a pain in her side. Her hand goes up to her side, pressing as she draws in air shakily.

Something was terribly wrong. Something was terribly wrong with her Alec for he would never hurt her. He would never allow any harm to come to her. She trembled in fear at the thought.

He growls and she takes a step back on instinct.

"Run, Robyn," he growls, the words coming out strained as though he wasn't breathing.

"What do you mean?" She asks. "What happened, Alec?"

There's no answer, no time for one, as she finds him attached to her once more, his eyes dark, unintelligible from what she knew. There is a moment, a glimpse of a second, where he stops, hovering above her as she shakes.

The hesitation leaves and Alec is biting in her neck, ripping her upon with teeth sharp and hands breaking — crushing her as he squeezes.

She's ripped apart by him, tearing into nothing with a piercing cry. She can't help but believe that she deserves it.

It's only fitting that Robyn should die in his arms, after all.

"But loving any of us is a death sentence, isn't it?"

...

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Hello, so this is the final chapter before the epilogue ! thank you to everyone that read my book to the end!! An extra thank you to those that have stuck with me through all of the times I posted this book only to put it back into drafts over and over !!

Unedited

Written: 2020-08-22

Posted: 2020-08-27