WILD & WICKED / © yllwjckts
021 ⸻ Armistice

I wanna live at the Holiday Inn
Where somebody else makes the bed
We'll watch TV while the lights on the street
Put all the stars to death
It's been on my mind since Bowie died
Just checking out to hide from life
And all of our problems, I'm gonna solve 'em
With you ridin' shotgun
Speeding 'cause fuck the cops

- "Smoke Signals", Phoebe Bridgers

November 1st, 1977 ✦ Hogwarts

Lux had been correct in her assumption that due to her vampirism, she'd project all the alcohol she'd consumed right back up - though she hadn't predicted just how bad the fallout would be. It seemed as though every time she figured she was done heaving up her guts into the girls shared toilet, another wave would slam into her and the same action was repeated.

"Poor girl," Marlene mused from where she hovered behind her, holding Lux's hair as she emptied the contents of her stomach into the toilet. She was the only one of the four other girls who wasn't hungover, though none of them had the reaction Lux did from the firewhiskey. Thus, she was forced onto hair holding duty while the vampire threw up over and over again.

"Better out than in," she said in an oddly pleasant tone as Lux gagged, rubbing her back with the palm of her hand. When she was positive there was nothing left to vomit up, she leaned back, cheeks inflamed and eyes stinging.

"Sorry," she muttered to Marlene, wiping her mouth with the sleeve of her robes.

"Happens to the best of us," she shrugged, and Lux supposed with a sigh of relief the girl had likely seen much worse in the six years prior, with the other girls and their odd habits. This certainly wasn't Marlene McKinnon's first stint with vomit, anyways.

Releasing the hand she had entwined with Lux's hair, she continued, "Are you well enough to get back to bed, or do I need to carry you?"

"I'm fine," she said through a hoarse voice, unsure if Marlene was joking or not. The girl was sheer muscle from her years playing Quidditch, so she figured that Marlene was strong enough to carry her if it did come down to it.

Pushing herself onto her unstable feet, Lux padded out of the bathroom and towards her bed, head much lighter than it had been before, a weight lifted out of her. Even so, she felt as though she was walking atop a tightrope, nearly topping over with every step.

"Did you really drink that much?" Mary asked with a skeptical gaze as Lux practically collapsed into her blankets, moaning as her face slammed into her pillow. "I swear, I only saw you have the one."

"She probably hasn't drunk much before. Maybe she has a low tolerance, or something like that," Lily offered from her own bed, the sound of her voice sending every one of Lux's nerves on edge. She'd complained of a headache from her own indulgences, but other than that was content to lay in bed and allow her own hangover to subside.

Dorcas, who seemed to have it the worst of the four, with a pillow pressed on her face at all times, lifted it up just enough to ask, "Lux, do you suppose your father will be upset that we've all skipped class?"

"No," Lux said, and though she wasn't sure if she believed it, she didn't care enough to think further on the subject. Let Fulk be pissed. The worst he could do was give out more detentions.

"Was that your first time drinking?" Mary pressed the earlier subject, clearly still enticed by it. When Lux was silent, her dark brown eyes lit up. "Oh Merlin, Lux, you really hadn't gotten drunk before?"

It took everything in her to hold back a snide remark, that she hadn't even been drunk at all, but that would only lead to more questions, ones she wasn't ready to answer.

"No," she answered simply, before rolling over onto her side, facing away from the girls and thus ending the conversation before it could truly take off.

After Remus had practically dragged her and Sirius out of the cupboard, she'd ditched the party all together, opting for a long, cold shower and a night in with a book. Until her four dormmates came stumbling inside at an ungodly hour of the night, she'd been tossing and turning in her bed, debating finishing what she'd started with Sirius on her own.

It was a completely different thing, seeking out the touch of a man versus her own. At first, she didn't quite understand it, only recognizing a heavy weight of guilt whenever her thoughts geared towards intimacy, preventing her from exploring her body the a way she had as a human. With someone else - be it Elias or Sirius or Remus - acting upon it, driving those feelings and sensations out of her, it felt like freedom. With herself, it felt like a punishment.

Snores had already begun to fill the air of the girls dormitory when a weight sagged onto Lux's bed, causing her to turn around. Lily had her head aimed towards the door, eyes staring off into the void, yet was at the edge of her bed anyways, kicking her feet back and forth as they swayed just above the floor.

"What are you doing?" Lux asked, keeping her voice low as to not wake the others as she pushed herself into a seated position.

Lily didn't look at her as she spoke, bouncing up and down ever so slightly where she sat. "There's a Quidditch match on Saturday. Gryffindor versus Slytherin. It's the first one of the season."

Lux bit down on the side of her cheek. "Right..."

"Since we're both dating a member of the team, we should go together, shouldn't we? Girlfriend solidarity or something of the sorts."

"I'm not dating Sirius."

"Oh." Lily blinked, finally allowing herself to look at the vampire. "I just assumed after the party, and the game-"

"You went into the cupboard with Cass Williams, you're not dating her, are you?"

"Of course not. That was just luck of the bottle, I'm with James," she insisted, an edge to her voice that hadn't been there before. "But it was different with you and Sirius, he obviously jinxed the bottle to land on you, and you were up in that cupboard for far more than seven minutes."

She shrugged. "We lost track of time, just talked about this and that. Really, we're just..."

Lily raised her eyebrows.

"It doesn't matter," Lux concluded at the girl's evident disbelief, running her long fingers through her hair. "None of it matters."

"Right." Lily clicked her tongue. "Have you ever been to a Quidditch match?"

"No," Lux lied, though it didn't feel like one. She'd gone to a few back when she'd attended Hogwarts as a human, but those memories were a haze.

"You should come to this one, then. Even if you aren't officially together with Sirius, I think he'd appreciate it. Besides, it could be fun."

It was Lux's turn to be in a state of disbelief, eyebrows furrowing together and head tilting to the side. "What does it matter to you? I thought you were mad at me."

"I am," she admitted with a deep sigh, tossing her hair over her shoulder as she fully turned to look at Lux. "But the standoff we've had over the month isn't getting us anywhere, is it? It's just making them-" she nudged towards the three girls, all spread out in their beds, sound asleep, "-uncomfortable. Feel like they have to pick sides."

"They shouldn't feel that way," Lux grimaced. "You were right. I was a real arsehole. I always am. They should take your side."

"I don't see the point in sides. It could be fixed if you just...fuck, Lux, if you weren't such a bitch to me all the damn time. I try so hard with you, and every time I think I'm making progress, I'm shoved away again. It's exhausting, this back and forth that never ends. I don't even want to be your friend anymore, I just want to coexist without bullshit between us."

Even as the invisible knife that had been shoved into her heart twisted, Lux nodded, more to herself than to Lily. "I understand."

Though she'd been doing her best to mask the agony searing through her, one look from Lily told Lux that she'd been as transparent as a shard of glass in regards to containing her emotions. "I don't say this to be hurtful."

"I know."

Nothing Lily Evans had ever done was meant to hurt Lux, which only sparked more bitter hatred into herself. Even the vampire Boggart, even the thing that had shattered any trust she'd begun to build with her, had been entirely innocent on Lily's end. It was Lux who was at fault each and every time a conflict arose, a problem unable to be solved.

"I'm not a good person," Lux stated when Lily was quiet, an objective fact they were both well aware of, even if neither of them up until now would outright state it.

Her lips parted in what Lux presumed was a protest, but a simple shake of the vampire's head had her keeping quiet.

"I'd like to be, I truly would, but I'm not sure that's possible," she continued, jaw shifting. "I don't say this for pity, or to be told otherwise. I don't want attention or validation. I just don't want you holding false expectations of me."

Lily shook her head, the defiant girl she was. Lux should've seen it coming the moment she spoke, that the redhead wouldn't go down without a fight, not now, not ever. "You're worth more than that, Lux, worth far more than just giving up on. I'm not going to hold you to a lesser standard because you don't think yourself worthy, nor am I going to tolerate bullshit from you under the guise of you being a bad person. Work on yourself, if you feel that way."

She thought about protesting, that hurt from her Boggart, from Dorcas saying she'd seen Lily snogging James Potter, from every odd emotion she'd strung out of her like notes on a violin. She thought about it, then held her tongue and lowered her wall of defense, just enough to let out the smallest bit of warmth release. "I'll do my best."

Hours later, Lux dragged herself out of the warmth of her bed and trudged through the halls of Hogwarts, half asleep and head still pounding. The only thing to solve the sensations sending aches through her bones would be blood, of which the Forbidden Forest was ripe with.

Her mind raced with thoughts of her conversation with Lily, with her time in the cupboard with Sirius, with her snog with Remus. Everything over the past two months seemed to rush into her the moment she was met with the fresh air, as she struggled to piece together just how everything fit together.

Sirius, who had avoided her like the plague one day, then pushed his fingers into her the next. Such an action provided him no pleasure, no release, it had been focused exclusively on her. A manipulation tactic, perhaps? One she'd allowed without a single protest.

Shame burned in her, though it increased at the reminder of Remus, who had somehow become an even larger question mark. At least Sirius had at one point shown interest in her, but when had Remus been anything but callous and cold? They'd perhaps had three moments where they weren't at each other's throats, but he'd snagged an opportunity to put a total flip on their relationship, something so shocking she'd apparently fainted from.

Lily, it seemed, was the piece she struggled the most to find a place for. Her behaviors made little sense, insisting she was angry at Lux to the point where their friendship could not be mended, but giving her the time of day anyways.

"You weren't in class today," was the first thing she heard as she finally caught hold of a squirrel, watching it wiggle around in her tight grip.

Lux let out a yelp, accidentally releasing the animal in the process, groaning as it fell onto its feet on the forest floor and swiftly scampered away into the veil of trees.

"For fucks sake, you couldn't have waited until after I'd gotten a bite in?" She shot Fulk a glare as he emerged from behind a tree, an amused smirk on his lips, finding humor in her plight.

"That squirrel was weak. Too thin, likely not fully grown. You'd have killed it if your fangs punctured its neck, and I know how deeply you hate when that happens."

Her jaw shifted, lips remaining firmly pressed together. He didn't need to know that she was grateful.

"You'll find another one," Fulk insisted when her silence likely became too much for him to bear. "Stronger, too. One you can't accidentally drain the life out of."

"Is there something you want?" She asked, maintaining an aura of apathy.

He didn't answer her, simply leaned against a tree, resting his side against the bark, positioning himself upwards with his elbow. "Tell me how Mr. Lupin is doing."

A frown eclipsed her previously blank expression. "What does it matter to you?"

"Everyone at Hogwarts is under the impression that you are my daughter, Mr. Lupin included. I find it odd that he's yet to ask for my permission for your hand. Isn't that how gentleman go about relationships with the girls they find themselves attracted to? Or is that old fashioned of me?"

"Very old fashioned," Lux agreed, rolling her eyes despite the tightening in her chest. "Remus and I aren't in a relationship, for your information. So you have nothing to be offended over."

If he was shocked, he didn't show it, though she did see an odd sparkle in his eye, reflected off the sun shining down from above them, sliding through the branches of the trees. "You're snogging boys that you aren't dating? That seems out of character for you."

"I fail to see how any of that is your business."

Fulk shook his head, releasing a laugh. "Are you going to hit me again for asking a question?"

"Are you going to call me a coward again for being raped?" She snapped in response before she could withhold herself, the month of built up resentment oozing out of her when her filter faltered.

"You still hold a grudge against me for my poor choice of words in a conversation from over a month ago?" He clarified, eyebrows lifted in a casual, almost careless motion. Words that had torn her apart, words that had ripped her heart out from her ribcage and stomped on it, yet they meant nothing to him.

"If you think that's all it was, then I think we should end this conversation before it gets too far," she spat, swiftly following up with a bitter, "We wouldn't want any further 'poor choices of words', would we?"

He exhaled a breath. "I didn't mean to imply your victimhood made you a coward."

"I'm no victim, nor was it any implication of yours. You stated it. You meant it."

A hand ran through his hair, as the man seemed to for once struggle for words, for how to speak what he thought without riling her up more than she already was. "I was being rash with my words when I said what I said, and I apologize. I don't use the title victim as an insult or to diminish your character, you know this. It's a fact, Lux. Philip-"

"-is dead! Thanks to me, he's fucking dead, and I see little point in bringing him up at every given opportunity. Your sudden interest in him is unnerving, to say the least."

"It's not just us, alone in the woods anymore, with no other worries than what animal to catch for breakfast," he explained, almost airily. "I can't be there to ward off offenses if something were to come, and for someone who prides herself so heavily in striking Philip down, you seem to have little will to hurt those who hurt you. You showed no reaction when that Mulciber kid attacked you. That's why I lashed out on you - you weren't protecting yourself like you have before. Do you know how horrible it was to know that if you'd been alone, nothing would've been done to stop him? Where's the fight you had in you when taking down Philip?"

Though he wasn't asking a question, Lux provided an answer anyways. "I didn't kill Philip because of what he did to me."

"You believe that you killed him because he murdered Elias," Fulk concluded.

"It was my fault, anyways," Lux breathed, ignoring his odd phrasing and instead began to pace back and forth across the dirt, feet crunching the brittle grass beneath her. There was no use in holding back, her years of restraint with Fulk had gotten her nowhere, done nothing but built a wall between them far too high to scale. All there was left to do was knock it over and pray neither of them were hit from debris.

"I never should've gotten involved with Elias, never should've risked his life for a glimpse of happiness. I'd damned him by doing so, and I damned myself too. I could've survived centuries more of Philip, I could've. I'd gone three hundred years as it was. But this...I'm not sure I can. At least with Philip I knew what to expect. Here, in this castle, with people I don't know, with you asking questions I can't answer..."

"Hogwarts provides an uncertainty you're not accustomed to," he finished for her. "With the Coven, you knew what to say and how to say it in order to keep yourself alive. You knew the authorities well enough to slip through the cracks. Same goes for us in the cabin. For all the fear humans have of us, the majority of vampires are quite easy to tame. Humans are far different - they're impulsive, reckless, and they have far less to lose than we do. They don't have our years of training and patience. You're treading new waters, and it terrifies you."

"I never should've killed Philip," she concluded, a sob breaking from her lips the moment she spoke. "I could've managed, I could've-"

"It would've killed you," Fulk interjected, a calm insistence thick in his tone. "You're lying to yourself when you say you could've made it."

"I'm not weak!" She shouted through the tears rushing down her face, pausing her pacing. Even so, she didn't sound convinced, her rash insistence followed up by another sob convulsing through her like a tirade, ripping through every nerve in her body as it burst out of her.

Despite everything, a smile of sorts seemed to tug on the side of Fulk's lips. "I wouldn't dare suggest such a thing. Everyone has a breaking point. Yours is much, much stronger than anyone I've ever known, certainly more than my own, but you have one. You may claim you only killed Philip to avenge the man you loved, but I think you know otherwise. I think you were well aware that it was him or you."

For a long, aching moment, everything was still. Even the life of the Forbidden Forest seemed to cease for a moment, holding their breath alongside the two vampires.

Lux was the first to break, her voice dimmed to a whisper, a shared secret between her and the only person she could fathom indulging such truths to. "I'm so scared."

Fulk's eyes shone, not with pity, but the compassion of a man who had seen the worst himself and come through the other side intact. "Has there ever been a time where you haven't been?"

She cried harder. It didn't matter anymore, the display of weakness she was so carelessly showing off. Nothing mattered except releasing the dam of emotions that had built for months, confusion and fear and feeling torn in every which way.

"I've done little to reassure you, have I?" He closed his eyes for a moment, opening them again and meeting her gaze. "You asked me why I hurt Mulciber after pulling him off of you. I told you it was out of loyalty to vampires, to our kind. That isn't true."

"No shit," she managed to laugh ever so slightly, an awful wet sound escaping her.

His lips twitched. "We protect our own, is what I said. That referred to family, not species."

Lux opened her mouth, but all that came out was a pathetic cry, followed by more tears. Lifting a hand as humiliation fully took a hold of her, she moved to cover her face, but a grip on her wrist kept her from doing as much.

"Do you know what I would do to Philip, if he still roamed the planet?" Fulk continued, fingers wrapped around her, not hard enough to cause any discomfort, but enough to keep her from moving, from doing anything but look him in the eye as he spoke. "I've dreamed of it, of getting my hands on that bastard and ripping him limb from limb. I've had fantasy after fantasy of destroying him, and all those other Coven bastards for sitting by and letting him torture you for three hundred fucking years."

"It wasn't-"

"It was torture," he cut her off with the harshest tone of voice he'd had since their discussion began, and she knew there was little point in arguing. "You don't need to pretend it was anything but what it was. Not with me."

Lux gulped, then nodded.

"I thought...I foolishly thought that alongside the protection of our deal with Dumbledore, that bringing you to Hogwarts would help you heal. I figured being around other people, people your age, you'd find comfort here. It can't have been much good, being cooped up with just me for twenty years."

"There was nothing wrong with it," she assured him. "We had food, and clothes, and you never hurt me, and-"

"-and you need people other than a middle aged man for company. You need friends you can talk to, read magazines with and talk about the people you fancy. You need a boy or girl you can flirt with - oh, don't bother arguing with me, I see how you look at Lily Evans. And Sirius Black. And Remus Lupin."

She promptly closed her mouth, denial dying on her tongue.

"Honestly, Lux? You need someone you can shag. Finding that sort of trust and intimacy after everything you've been through is vital, maybe not to every victim, but to you. I'd go to the ends of the earth for you, but even if you dropped to your knees and begged me to, I couldn't ever...fucking hell, I could never be anything but what we are."

Wiping away her tears, she nodded in agreement, something settling inside her that she'd never quite felt before. "I know. I couldn't either."

"I thought coming to Hogwarts would help fill the voids in your life that I can't - be it good sex or teen girl nonsense or simply having someone other than me to talk to. But maybe I was wrong. Maybe it's only created problems in the long run. It's brought us apart, it's clearly overwhelming you. This war, between wizards, between humans, we needn't have a part in it."

Lux blinked. "What do you mean?"

"We can leave," Fulk said after a pause. "We can tell Dumbledore that our deal is over, give back our rings. You don't need to live in fear. We can go home."

Home.

Neither of them had called their little cabin a home before. Never used such terminology for a place designed for survival, for practicality, for necessity. Home implied an emotional tie Lux had never allowed herself to feel, a sanctuary she refused to indulge in, because letting her guard down, even for a moment, had only ever brought her hurt.

Lux had never deemed their cabin, their life, never deemed Fulk himself home until she was ripped away from it. Now it was all she craved, the simplicity of their life before being dragged to a castle full of unexplored territories, too many emotions and not enough ways to deal with them. It would certainly hurt for a while, to part from the people she'd grown to care for, but it wouldn't be long before they became as distant of memories as her friends from her human life.

Nothing need be confusing anymore, she didn't need to be torn in three by the people she found her heart drawn to, she didn't need to look over her shoulder for men like Thomas Mulciber, or schemers like Severus Snape. She didn't need to wait up every night for the sounds of four separate snoring girls before she allowed herself to sleep, worry about human things like why she didn't eat, or how her hair looked.

She missed her bed, and the lock on the door that kept her separated from anything that could hurt her. She missed talks with Fulk before going to sleep, seated side by side on the couch as the sun began to peak over the horizon. She missed not having to pretend. Not having to feel worthy of the company she kept.

Lux didn't bother saying a word. They both knew what her answer was.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .*:☆ﾟ. ───

There had never been a time in their years together where Fulk had been rough with Lux, but the new sort of gentleness in which he suddenly seemed to be struck with did not go unnoticed to her. It was as if every barrier that had been shoved up between the two vampires finally came toppling to the ground, leaving nothing in the way of them. Lux had little will remaining in her to argue with him any further, to push back on his words as she had been for months now, seeing no need for more conflict.

He'd found her a lingering squirrel, this one much more plump and strong than the one she'd initially grabbed onto, handing it to her and allowing her to replenish herself. Then, just as the sun they'd so rarely seen began to set over the cascading blue sky, the pair walked back to the castle.

"I don't want to go to back to my dorms," Lux had blurted when it came time for them to take two different pathways, the hallway meeting a divide.

Fulk arched his eyebrows. "I won't be speaking with Albus on the matter of our withdrawal from here until the weekend. You may want to use the final few days of your time here to say goodbye to your friends."

She was silent.

He exhaled a breath, likely able to sense the exact thoughts swarming through her mind. "But if you're not feeling up to it, you can spend the night in my room, and return to Gryffindor Tower tomorrow instead. You should still attend classes for the next three days, though. Otherwise your friends may have questions we can't answer."

"I will," she agreed, though her tone of voice suggested her displeasure in doing so. It would be much easier, Lux thought to herself, to leave now, before things could get complicated any further. They didn't need to tell Dumbledore, they could keep their rings and flee into the night, where he'd be none the wiser.

Fulk was thinking in advantages, still walking the tightrope of an alliance with the Headmaster of Hogwarts, much like Lux was with Severus Snape. She supposed he didn't want to get on Dumbledore's bad side by stabbing him in the back.

As the pair walked through the empty halls of Hogwarts, she found her mind drifting towards thoughts of all the people she'd encountered over the past two months.

Would any of them miss her? Or would she go unremarked and forgotten after a week? She supposed she must've made some sort of impression - at least with Remus, anyways. Surely her fainting midway through a snogging session while in detention would stick with him for a while.

Sirius, she knew would get over her like the snap of his fingers. Assuming there was anything to get over in the first place. The chemistry had been there between them, she was keenly aware of that spark ignited even before they'd clambered into that cupboard together, but he didn't seem the type to linger for long on broken hearts and could've beens.

Lux didn't want to think about Lily, and how she would more than likely be relieved to see Lux go.

She shook her head, banishing any thoughts just as they entered Fulk's room. None of it mattered, in the long run. Fulk was right - Hogwarts had done nothing but make her miserable, amplifying her paranoia and surrounding her with characters who had nothing but bad intentions.

"I'm going to run you a bath," Fulk said just as he closed the door behind them, moving towards the lavatory he had attached to his little bedroom.

"Why?"

"I can practically feel you getting anxious. You're tensing up more and more by the second." When his hand fell upon the door that led to the bathroom, his head spun around to look at her. "Whatever it is running through that mind of yours, it can wait until the morning, yeah? Take a hot bath, get into something comfortable, and rest well."

He walked into the bathroom, emerging minutes later as the sound of running water he'd created dimmed into obscurity.

Giving him a small smile of thanks, Lux herself slipped into the small bathroom, closing the door behind her and knocking down the robe Fulk had placed atop the hook on the door in the process.

Shaking off her clothes, she dipped a toe into the water and hissed, recoiling so fast she nearly toppled over entirely. While the liquid wasn't scolding, it was certainly at a higher temperature than she'd ever bathed in before.

She glanced towards the door, before pulling the fallen robe off of the ground and wrapping it around herself.

"It's scolding," Lux proclaimed as she pushed the door open, eyes settling on Fulk. He had stretched out on his bed, flipping through the pages of a book, and looked up with eyebrows raised as she spoke.

"It's warm at best, Lux. Certainly not as hot as I take my showers."

She shook her head. "I prefer the water to be cold. Can you spell it to change it? I left my wand in my dorms."

She watched as he rolled his eyes. "You'll enjoy the heat. It'll relax you far better than ice cold ever could. Trust me."

Knowing nothing she said would be able to change his mind, she sighed, stepping back into the bathroom. Once again removing her robe, she attempted entering the bath, wincing at the sensation of the heat as it absorbed into every inch of skin that she dipped beneath the water.

Fulk wasn't wrong, though. The moment she was fully submerged, she could practically feel her muscles loosening as she grew accustomed to the temperature.

Bathing in heated up water wasn't the same as being engulfed in flames, as she'd assumed it to be. A hot bath was far different, the water not hurting her but relaxing, not causing her pain but soothing the anxiety that had every one of her nerves on edge. Dipping her hair into the water only enhanced the sensation of serenity, though she refused to submerge entirely. Being able to breathe normal and deep was the only thing keeping her from slipping from comfort to fear, from bliss to flashbacks.

Fulk didn't have any decent shampoos, all the brands lined across the tub edge reading two-in-one or even three-in-one, which according to Mary, was a heinous sin. One would apparently be better off setting their hair on fire, compared to using anything with such a label.

But his soap was nice, the scent reminiscent of a tropical flower. She lathered herself in it as she typically did, expelling the invisible dirt that so consistently clung to her.

It was easier to get off of her this time. There had been days where she'd spend over an hour clawing at her skin, until she was red and raw and sometimes even bleeding, but still not clean.

It had only been a few minutes since she began to clean herself off, but she no longer felt the need to scratch at every inch of surface, her body's typical grime vanished.

She lingered in the bath afterwards, inhaling deep breaths with her eyes closed, blocking out all the thoughts of the past days - no, months, and instead focusing only on how the heat melted into her like wax off a candle.

An hour or so had passed before Lux recalled that she was not in her own dorms, but Fulk's bath, someone who would likely wonder what was taking her so long. She drained the tub, regretting it the moment the now lukewarm water vanished, before wrapping the robe around herself once more.

One look at her seemed to tell Fulk all he needed to know. He set his book to the side, that smirk of his sliding across his lips as he shifted to the side. "I told you that you'd like it. Nice change from the cold, wasn't it?"

She nodded, adjusting the robe to make sure it fully covered her, before sitting down on the bed next to him. "I feel a bit better," Lux admitted. "Less anxious."

"Knowing your mind, that must be a blessing."

She paused, then nodded again, not bothering to refute anything.

Fulk rose onto his feet, stepping away from the bed. "Get some sleep, while your mind is still in a tranquil place."

Lux was silent, watching as he walked over to his chair, sitting down and kicking his feet up. "You mean to sleep there?"

"It's a comfortable chair," he answered with an unbothered shrug. After spending the past twenty years sleeping on that couch in their cabin as opposed to his own bed, she figured he truly didn't mind, or even notice the discomfort anymore.

"I can go back to my dorm," she proposed, moving to stand up herself, though the brief shake of his head had her seated once again.

"If you find more comfort spending the night with me than with your dormmates, I have no qualms with it. Truly." As if to showcase his lack of irritation, he placed his hands behind his head, resting himself against his palms.

Lux stared at him. Then, she cleared her throat. "There's enough room for you."

It was Fulk's turn to stare, his icy blue eyes unreadable. "Lux."

Her gaze shifted, moving downwards as her hand began to pick at the edge of the blanket, pulling at the loose threads.

"Like I said, I don't mind the chair. I'm not doing anything that would make you uncomfortable."

"If I wasn't comfortable, I wouldn't have offered," was the dry response she gave back, refusing to look up from the rip she was forming in the blanket.

Inhaling a sharp breath and rolling onto her side, pulling the blankets over her body, Lux expected Fulk to remain where he was. Fine by her, she told herself as she shut her eyes. Let his body ache in the morning from a poor night's sleep if that's what he desired, it wasn't her problem.

Her eyes jolted open when she felt a sagging in the bed next to her, a presence forming that had not been there before. "Tell me if you change your mind and want me to leave. I won't be annoyed."

Lux nodded against the pillow her head rested on, though she wasn't sure if he could see her. She felt him move again, the blankets lifting as he buried himself beneath them, then the short, sharp breaths he took.

He was significantly more nervous than Lux was, and the thought made her smile to herself.

"I used to share a bed with my brother."

For a long moment, Fulk was silent. "I didn't know you had a brother. You...you mentioned siblings a couple times, but never got into the specifics."

"There are no specifics to say. I can hardly remember them," Lux admitted, pushing away the horrible pit in her stomach that came with her confession. Even so, she continued, as small images flashed before her mind, reminders of a time she had until now tucked away. "But he was younger than me, by a few years. When there were storms, he'd cling to me, wrap his arms around my body and refuse to let go no matter how many times I scolded him. It was all fake, anyways. I didn't want him to let go, I just said I did. I reckon he knew that as well. It felt nice, at the time, having arms around me. Feeling needed."

"It sounds like you remember more than you care to admit."

She gulped, shaking her head. "I didn't remember any of this until now."

"I see."

"It's just..." a shaky breath ran through her, as she sucked up the remnants of her courage before turning around to look at Fulk. About a foot of empty space on the bed separated them, his head rested against one of the pillows and his blue eyes searching hers. "It's not really fair, is it?"

Fulk lifted his eyebrows, a silent urge for her to continue.

"I should be able to share a bed with someone that I trust without it meaning anything, shouldn't I? You shouldn't have to worry about it upsetting me, nor should I. I should be able to feel things, to do things, without feeling haunted."

"Is that how you feel? Haunted?"

She nodded. "I am haunted. Even with Philip dead, the Coven is still after me. Even in death, his memory will always seek to do me harm."

Even if she closed her eyes, his hands were on her. Even if she found comfort with someone, his ghost always lurked in the corner, preparing to tear her down as she had done to him. Was it self sabotage, she wondered, or truly the phantom of the man who had once owned her never fully letting go?

Lux didn't miss the shift in Fulk's expression, the subtle souring of his lips that vanished just as quick as it came. He knew exactly what she was thinking, there was no need to say it out loud, nor address it. Instead, he focused on the issue she had vocalized. "You have nothing to worry about with the Coven. They can't touch you here."

"We're leaving in a few days," Lux pointed out, suddenly finding her skin burning at the idea. Hogwarts had brought nothing but trouble for her, but at least under Dumbledore's reign, she was safe from Adelais and her minions.

"They had twenty years to find our cabin, and they didn't. What would make any of that change?"

A long silence fell between them.

"We can't run forever," she whispered. "They'll find us sooner or later. You know it as well as I. I thought I could run the first time, but Philip found me. They won't be any different. And when they do...it won't be an easy death they give us. It'll be long and painful and-"

"Lux," Fulk interjected the tangent that was forming, her anxiety spinning a roll of yarn into a ball that begun to grow and grow with every passing moment.

She grimaced. "Sorry."

"Don't apologize," he scolded, though any irritation vanished within seconds, sympathy the primary emotion reflection from his expression. "I have it covered. I promise you, my dear, nothing will happen."

Lux supposed she didn't have much of a choice, other than to trust the man in front of her. Not far different from twenty years ago, when he'd brought her to his cabin for the first time, and there hadn't been another option. Now, however, she didn't have the sense of dread she'd once carried with her like a weapon, as if being able to say she'd predicted it would make it any less painful when he, in her predictions, inevitably stabbed her in the back.

"Go to sleep," Fulk said, tone soft. "All that needs to be dealt with will be, in due time."

It was all the reassurance she needed. For the first time since Elias had been ripped out of her life, falling asleep wasn't a chore. For the first time, Lux allowed her eyes to close and her breathing to still without a worry on her mind.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .*:☆ﾟ. ───

Merry Christmas to those who celebrate! I initially wasn't going to upload a chapter today but decided why not? Anyways, good news! I'm changing my update schedule to both Wednesday and Sunday :) it might change back to once a week if I cannot maintain such a schedule, but I think I can for now! Hope you enjoyed this chapter!

Also, obviously Lux and Fulk are not done at Hogwarts yet, you'll see what happens hehe.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .*:☆ﾟ. ───