WILD & WICKED / © yllwjckts
016 ⸻ Even A Worm Will Turn

My tell-tale heart's a hammer in my chest
Cut me a silk-tied tourniquet
This is my roaring, roaring 20's
I don't even know me
Roll me like a blunt, 'cause I wanna go home

— "Roaring 20s", Panic! at the Disco

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .*:☆ﾟ. ───

MAJOR content warning for this chapter. This is one of two flashback chapters (the next one being chapter 18), where some very heavy things will be discussed. The expanded list of triggers is as followed: blood drinking, graphic violence, implied sexual assault, discussions of sexual assault, depiction of the aftermath of said assault, a non consensual kiss, domestic abuse, sexual coercion, and grooming. As promised, no actual rape scenes will ever be depicted, but the scenes before and after are, alongside Philip's coercion. It would be disingenuous of me to do a flashbacks chapter and not touch on Lux's abuse at all, and it is a difficult line to tread on. I did my best to handle all topics discussed with grace. Again, please only read this chapter if you feel comfortable delving into those subject matters at this point in time. Your mental health matters.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .*:☆ﾟ. ───

August 18th, 1628 ✦ Hollyvale Manor

The afterlife was cold.

Lux decided, as she shifted around on whatever it was she was atop — a cushion, maybe? Or a cloud? Certainly something too soft to belong to her — that she preferred the chill, to the heat that had ensnared her just moments before. She preferred the sharp sensation of harsh, frigid air, much like the August afternoon she'd been burned in, compared to the crackling of fire as her skin melted off of her bones.

At least it was over, despite the tremors that would still occasionally run through her, spasms of an aftereffect of the pain. She'd thought pain would vanish the moment one ascended into the afterlife, but maybe that had been a misconception. Maybe Heaven wasn't as depicted in the scripture she poured over as a child, but something different.

Maybe she hadn't made it to those pearly gates, where God would meet her with open arms. Maybe witchcraft was the sin she'd been burned for, and not a gift. Or maybe, she thought with a deep ache in her gut, they didn't exist.

Either way, when she opened her eyes, Lux expected to be met with the sight of the sky, of a sun and a rainbow and perhaps even Jesus Christ, prepared to accept her into an eternity of bliss. Not a man looming over her, grey eyes watching her with a mixture of intrigue and confusion.

She screamed.

"Who are you?" She cried out, shoving herself into a sitting position and pushing as far away from him as she could, only to slam into a large slab of wood after moving less than a foot back. A bed, she realized she was on, and her eyes grew wide, now flickering around the room her and this man resided in. It was certainly grand, with large blue curtains covering up a slowly setting sun and a painting dangling from neatly carved stone walls.

Heaven was supposed to be much, much different from this place.

Forcing herself to look at the man, who had taken a step back the moment they made eye contact, she demanded, "Where am I?"

Lux's voice came out shaking, a plea rather than a question. Her entire body ached, as if the aftermath of that fire clung to her still, even in death.

As if he could read her thoughts, the man shook his head, though he didn't answer her question. "Don't be afraid."

She blinked back tears.

"My name is Philip," the man continued, glancing down at the edge of the bed, feet away from where she had her legs tugged to her chest, holding her knees close to her chin. "Do you mind if I take a seat?"

For a moment, she simply stared at him through her blurry vision. Then, blinking back tears and swallowing a sob, she nodded. She wasn't sure she had a choice.

Philip sat down, head tilted to the side as he observed her, those startling grey eyes scanning every inch of her. A dissection, almost. Sizing her up. "You're not dead, if that's what is going through your mind."

She blinked. "Pardon?"

"I said, you're not dead."

"How is that possible?" She glanced down at her body, a simple white dress she couldn't recall putting on, her skin, which was as soft as ever, as though flames had never touched it. "I was...I was burned, Mister. I was burned. I must be dead."

He shook his head. "Philip. There's no need for formalities here. I'm simply Philip."

"My apologies. Philip." She gulped as she sounded out the name, watching as his lips curved up into a smile as she spoke.

"You haven't met death yet," Philip continued, reaching over to place a hand atop her own, gently stroking her skin as he spoke. "Do you recall what happened while you were in that cellar, awaiting your execution?"

She thought long and heard, wrecking her brain for an answer, but came up blank. "No. I was not given much food or water. It has all slipped my mind, Mister."

"Philip," he corrected, tone both soft and stern.

"Philip," she repeated. He looked like a Philip, she thought. Dark brown hair and skin too pale to be healthy, despite everything about him reeking of strength, of privilege. He didn't otherwise appear to be sickly, anyways.

He smiled again, grey eyes sparkling. "Last night, in your cell, you were bit."

Her eyes grew wide. "By an animal?"

He shook his head, an amused chuckle slipping from his lips. "A vampire."

A long, drawn out silence fell between the pair, her damp eyes staring into his as she searched him for any hint of a joke. Perhaps the entire thing had been a dream — being dragged from her home and accused of witchcraft, the week she'd spent in that cellar, the flames that had eaten her alive.

Her stomach twisted when she found no semblance of a joke within him. "I would like to see my mother."

His smile soured. "I'm afraid that is not possible, sweetling."

"But—"

"Mary Erzsebet took her husband and other children and fled your little village the moment you were accused of witchcraft. I expect they've all left the country by now, on a ship somewhere far away."

Her breath caught in her throat, as if snatched by an invisible force. "So I did burn?"

"You did," Philip confirmed, still rubbing the top of her hand with his own, his thumb grazing hers. "But you survived, you came back to us, by the grace of that bite."

"I'm a vampire, then?"

He nodded slowly, and her stomach twisted into knots. "There are more of us, if you'd care to meet them."

She shook her head, pulling herself out of his grip. "I don't understand, Mis— Philip. How...why...?"

If he was offended by her retracting her hand, he didn't show it, as his own palm lifted to caress her cheek, meeting her jaw with his thumb swiping over her skin, wiping away a stray tear that trailed down from her eye and towards her neck. "I saw something special in you."

She blinked in a silent question, another stray tear tricking down to her jaw. He wiped it away once again, never looking away from her eyes as he did.

"I know you're confused. I know you must have many questions, and I will answer whatever it is you need. We're a family now."

Finally, she was able to speak again, letting out a trembling breath as she glanced around, frowning. "Vampires burn, don't they?"

The corners of his lips twitched as he nodded. "We cannot step foot in the sun. But in the night...we're royals."

Philip helped Lux onto her feet, steadying her as she stepped out of the bed and nearly fell over in the process, every inch of her body shaking with a mixture of nerves and the remnants of pain. "You need blood," he commented as she clung to him. "We will supply you with some the moment the sun is down."

This nearly sent her toppling to the ground as she let go of him, the only thing keeping her upright being his strong grip around her waist.

"I have to eat blood?" She gasped, stomach aching at the thought.

Through his steady arms, he gave her a curious sort of look. "You are a vampire now, sweetling. What did you presume you would be eating?"

Lux remained silent, breathing growing heavy as she grabbed onto him again, helping him hold her upright and regain the ability to function on her own.

"Can you walk?" Philip asked after a minute or so went by.

She paused, then nodded, swiping her blonde hair out of her face as he let go of her. Half expecting to fall over the moment his hands retracted from her waist, she found herself smiling to herself when her balance remained intact, despite the slight tremors in her legs.

"Follow me," Philip said, nudging with his chin towards the door.

"Where are we going?" She asked as she moved to follow him, inhaling with every painful step she took, like her nerves were still in flames.

His grey eyes met hers a final time just as his hand fell upon the doorknob, a small, crafty grin sliding onto his lips. "To meet the rest of the Coven."

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .*:☆ﾟ. ───

September 26th, 1628 ✦ Hollyvale Manor

"You're a pretty thing," a vampire called Euphraxia commented as she dabbed a bit of rouge onto Lux's cheek with her fingers. "No wonder Philip took an interest in you."

The two other female vampires that resided in the Coven — both as young and beautiful as Euphraxia was, were stretched out on a bed, doing the same as they were. Mathilde held a small container of red paint, and with the daintiness of a noblewoman, applied the substance onto Adelais's lips.

"Thank you, Euphraxia," Lux said, grinning ear to ear at the compliment. "You are quite remarkable yourself."

She expected the vampire to thank her in return, or at least react, but she did not. Instead, she huffed, but was otherwise silent as she continued to rub the stuff onto Lux's cheeks. She'd never worn such things before — it had been reserved for those with money, something Lux's family never possessed. Now, she felt exactly as Philip had referred to them as the day she'd met him; royalty.

From across the room, she watched as Adelais rose from the bed, straightening the dress she wore as she pivoted towards Euphraxia, eyebrows lifted. "Do I look decent?"

A stupid question, Lux thought to herself. There was no universe in which Adelais could be anything but stunning, between her dark blonde curls and a body so perfect, only depictions of Greek goddesses were ever seen with.

Of course, Adelais had no way of knowing if it was the truth or not. The mirrors no longer reflected them, something that caused Lux an awful shock when she first attempted to check her appearance. It would take some getting used to, she figured, but maybe it was worth it, in the end.

"Beautiful," Euphraxia confirmed with the smile Lux had longed to have directed at her. "As always, of course."

Adelais grinned back, revealing shiny white teeth.

Lux didn't know much about Adelais, her age or where she came from or how she joined the Coven, only that she carried authority around with her like a whip. She was perhaps the only person who seemed to be at a somewhat equal standing to Philip, the only one of the vampires he deigned worthy of his attention for longer than a few minutes.

Adelais, and Lux.

Philip often spoke to Lux. Made sure she was doing alright. Asked how she was fitting in with the other vampires. Kept her company, when he saw her sitting alone in the parlor while the others chattered amongst themselves.

Philip was perhaps the one thing she could grab onto when she felt herself begin to spiral into an abyss of loneliness, in an ache for her mother and an anger for her family abandoning her and a sudden thirst for blood she hadn't yet learned to control.

Perhaps Euphraxia was jealous of her. Jealous that she got Philip's attention, when he barely spared her a second glance.

The idea made her smile to herself.

It was some sort of Coven event that she didn't quite understand the purpose of, but if it meant getting to dress up in a gown that cost the same as her old home and dance around to music, Lux was more than willing to participate.

Mathilde rose from the bed as well, spinning around in a pretty blue dress that complimented her fair skin. Unlike Adelais and Euphraxia, Mathilde was either confident enough in her appearance not to confirm she looked okay, or simply did not care.

"We should get going," she urged with an odd sort of grin. "It would be tragic to keep Philip waiting."

"What's all this for, anyways?" Lux asked as she rushed to keep up with the three girls.

Euphraxia gave her a look, a mixture of annoyance and disbelief. "You're jesting, right?"

She shook her head.

"It's your initiation ball," Adelais explained with the wave of her hand and a disapproving glance at Euphraxia through her deep brown eyes. "Every Coven member gets one, when they're brought in. Though I must admit, I cannot recall one this grand."

"Who joined most recently, then?" Lux inquired, ignoring the way her heart soared at Adelais's final sentence. She'd never been much of anything, falling under the veil of attention both in her village and at Hogwarts, up until the day she was ripped from her home and tied to a pyre. No, for the first time in her life, she was special in a way that counted for something.

"Odo," Adelais answered in a dull tone, as if bored. "About a hundred years ago."

Lux's jaw dropped as Mathilde pulled the door to their bedroom open, and they stepped out into the grand hallway. Lux wasn't sure how they'd managed to get such a expensive manor in their possession, but she was grateful for it, feeling like a princess as she stepped over the carpet draped on the stone floor. "How old are you all?"

Mathilde barked a laugh. "Too old, kid. Too fucking old."

At the vulgar language, Lux flinched, eyes widening.

Adelais noticed this, a lazy eyebrow raising, but she didn't speak on the subject. When the four girls scaled the stairs and entered the parlor, Lux felt the eyes of every Coven member on her, digging into her skin.

She sought out Philip immediately, eventually finding him near the back of the room, standing next to a man called Titus as he played the grand piano. His grey eyes scaled her, the orange dress she'd wiggled into and the curls in her hair that Euphraxia had managed to tame.

"Lux! We've been awaiting you!" He greeted, his arms expanding as if embracing her from across the room. "Come, come."

She did as he requested, abandoning Adelais, Mathilde and Euphraxia in favor of Philip, reaching his side in moments. His hand found hers, giving it a small squeeze. "You look radiant, sweetling."

"Thank you."

"Titus, play faster," Philip commanded without looking at him, and the vampire seated at the piano obeyed, changing the song into one far more speedy, an almost urgent tune emerging from the device.

Lux gave Titus a smile, though he wasn't looking at her, all his attention focused on his current task. He was certainly more talented than anyone she'd ever met before, with fingers that had to be made of magic to move as fast as they did, scaling the keys without missing a single note.

Titus, from what she gathered, didn't like to speak much, but he'd always made it a point to give her kind glances during their meals, when they went off into the forest and fed on the animals that lingered nearby. He must've sensed her initial unease at the act.

"May I have this dance, sweetling?" Philip asked, jerking her gaze away from Titus and back towards the Coven leader.

She nodded, allowing Philip to pull her into the swarm of other vampires, all mid conversation or dancing themselves. Among the Coven, there were thirteen boys and only four girls, including Lux. The off putting balance in sex was confusing at first, but it played in her favor, in the end. The men of the Coven were kinder to her than they needed to be, offering her extra blood from their drained animals and keeping her company during the long days where she could not find sleep.

For the first few minutes, they simply swayed back and forth to the music, making small talk as they did. When the pace in Titus's playing picked up, Philip's hands found her waist, lifting her up several inches from the ground as he spun her around, emitting a laugh from her.

"Your laugh is like a bird's call," Philip said when she was back on the ground.

"Thank you."

"You sure thank me a lot."

Lux gulped, smile dimming at the idea of having done something wrong, something to upset the man who had given her such an extravagant new life, when she just as easily could've been left for dead, been burned and kept as ashes in the dirt. Out of everyone, he'd chosen her. "Should I not?"

"I didn't say that."

Her smile returned, relief washing over her. "I am grateful, for everything. For the dresses, and the home, and the companionship. Everyone here is very kind."

He gave her an amused look. "Everyone?"

She gulped, eyes flickering towards where Euphraxia, Mathilde and Adelais were huddled together in a deep conversation. "Well...the girls can be a bit cold. But they have not been cruel."

"They'll warm up to you," he assured her with a smile so kind, it caused her to instantly believe him.

The song ended, the piano trailing off into a new tune, this time more slow, more elegant. Though the moment it did, Philip's hands slipped off of her waist, returning to his side. "Excuse me, sweetling, I need to take care of something."

"Is everything okay?" She questioned, moving to follow him as he stepped out of the floor.

"Of course it is," he assured her with a casual grin just as they neared the piano and Titus's methodical playing. "Wait right here."

She did as requested, remaining stationed in place as Philip walked over to a large, burly man called Torquatus. Out of all the vampires gathered in the manor, he was certainly the one with the most brute strength, his muscles bulging through his tunic as he sipped blood from a cup. Unlike most of the other Coven members, he preferred to take his time with the animals he caught, dragging them into the manor and bleeding them dry, collecting their blood and savoring it.

Lux thought it cruel. Philip thought it innovative.

Her stomach spun as Torquatus moved through the swarm of vampires, Philip at his side, in the general direction of Lux. She opened her mouth, lips prepared to say whatever it was she needed to evade Torquatus's anger, but his eyes barely grazed her as he pushed past her, headed straight for Titus.

There was something now in his hand, retrieved from a pocket in his trousers. Long, and round, and wooden, and all the moisture in Lux's mouth vanished.

She stumbled backwards, a scream dancing on her tongue just as Torquatus drove the stake into Titus's unsuspecting back.

The piano stopped.

Lux watched in a frozen horror, like a sheet of ice had slid over her body and encased her skin, as blood seeped from the wound punctured and into his fine silk clothes, red staining the white.

"Grab him," Philip commanded as Torquatus slipped the stake out from his skin, revealing a large, weeping hole, wide enough that Lux could fit a few fingers in if she tried.

Titus was falling backwards, sliding off of the bench, but Torquatus obeyed Philip's words, grabbing onto him before he could slam into the ground. His kind, unassuming eyes were wide in a mixture of shock and pain, lips opening and closing like a fish out of water.

"Philip..." A groan ripped from his throat, his body convulsing in spasms that increased intensity with every passing second, until even Torquatus couldn't hold onto him any further, and he slipped from his grasp. A thud radiated through the otherwise silent parlor as Titus landed on the ground, twitching and bleeding.

What had supposed to be an immortal being, an entity beyond the unforgiving clutch of death, was little more than a human now, no stronger than she had been when she'd been struck down.

Lux couldn't watch any further, finally gaining the ability to move her body from the frozen position she'd found herself in. With one final look at the dying vampire, the murdered vampire, she flung herself around and ran up the stairs as fast as her feet could take her.

She was only able to breathe once the door was shut behind her.

Sliding down the wall she leaned against, she grabbed her knees through the obnoxiously large dress she wore, hugging them to her chest as tears beaded in her eyes, and panic seared in her heart. How was it her heart still managed to beat, she wondered through deep breaths as she tried to steady her fear. She was dead, she'd been burned at the stake, and yet...yet every part of her still felt all too human.

She hated it, the way she could still feel everything, every raw emotion, every primal fear she'd experienced before she'd gone up in blames. She longed to rip into her chest, rip out her beating heart and stomp on it until it was nothing but dirt under her shoe.

Instead, she burst into tears.

It was the first time she'd cried since being reborn into a creature of the night. She hadn't shed a tear when she looked into a mirror and saw nothing back, nor when she was first forced to feed on a helpless rabbit, and watch as the life slowly left its eyes. She hadn't even cried during the days where she was supposed to be asleep, but instead found herself tossing and turning and clinging to the concept of her mother's touch, something she knew she'd never feel again.

It could've been just minutes, or several long hours before a tapping on the door, gentle and soft and all too terrifying jolted her attention out of her miserable thoughts.

From behind the door, she heard Philip exhale a sigh. "Lux, may I enter?"

She sniffed, choking down a response. A no, that got cut off halfway by a sob jerking through her.

The door pushed open, the hinges creaking as it did. At first, Philip didn't seem to spot her, glancing around the room until he found where she was huddled, curled up just left of the door.

His face softened, shutting the door behind him and moving to crouch down to her level. "Why are you crying, sweetling?"

For a moment, she assumed he was joking. But he was entirely serious, the confused expression that eclipsed his typical kind smile standing out even through her blurred vision.

"You..." she croaked, voice breaking as she attempted to sputter her dumbfounded response. "You killed Titus."

His hand extended, moving to wipe away her tears with his thumbs as he stroked her cheek. "I didn't kill anyone. Torquatus did."

Her head shook, forcing his coarse hands away from her face. "You told him to."

"I did," he confirmed with a soft, knowing nod. "But not without reason. Titus was planning on leaving us."

More tears beaded in her vision, as a crushing weight formed on her chest, as though someone was sitting on her. "Then why not let him leave? He didn't need to die. He could've left."

Philip shook his head. "It doesn't work like that, sweetling. There's no leaving the Coven. Titus has been here for a millennium now. We were his family, and he wanted to abandon us."

Something akin to shackles seemed to form on her wrists, just as they had been a month prior, when she'd been in that blasted cell. But when she found it in her to stare at her wrists, at the shackles Philip must've placed on her, she gulped.

Despite the weight she felt so clearly on her wrists, there was nothing on them.

Her tears returned, a sob wrecking through her.

"This isn't a prison, Lux," he said, jaw shifting as he likely understood the thoughts that were rushing through her mind. His hand returned, brushing her hair out of her face and touching her chin, positioning her head so she was looking at him. "As long as you're loyal to us, to me, you'll be safe. You have nothing to fear."

Her lips parted, then closed again, a question dying before it could be born.

She expected him to press her on whatever it was she wished to say, but he didn't. Instead, Philip leaned forward, placing his lips atop her forehead in a short lived kiss.

Her instincts grabbed hold of her, and she pulled away.

Philip arched his eyebrows the moment she did. "Is something the matter?"

For a long moment, Lux stared at him, searching those grey eyes for a hint of his own feelings, but they came up blank.

Then, she shook her head, exhaling a breath that had caught in her lungs.

"Good." His lips twitched as he rose onto his feet, before helping her onto her own. Scanning her, he exhaled a breath. "You're still shaking."

"I am sorry."

"Nothing to apologize for, sweetling," he assured her, still holding onto her hand. "I'll have Odo draw you a bath, how does that sound? Something to relax you."

She thought for a moment, then nodded. "I would appreciate it. Thank you."

He grinned, eyes sparkling.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .*:☆ﾟ. ───

November 1st, 1628 ✦ East Lothain, Scotland

"Are you cold?"

Lux looked up at Philip from where she walked next to him, rubbing her arms with her hands, her skin red and inflamed from the autumn wind that repeatedly slapped her.

"I am fine," she insisted with a small, shaky smile.

"Good," Philip praised. "We're nearly there."

Lux hadn't been sure where exactly it is that they were going, nor had she questioned it. All she knew was that when night fell, she had been pouring over the pages of a book when Philip had told her to rise, tossed her a hood, and requested that she join him and the rest of the Coven on a short trip.

They'd been walking for nearly an hour, pouring through the forest that veiled the manor they all resided in. The three other girls were in their typical group, Adelais sending Lux an odd look or two as they trekked through the woods, as though she had done something to anger her.

"Is Adelais upset with me?" Lux asked Philip, her voice low as to not alert the girl she was speaking of her.

An amused smile danced on his lips as he shook his head. "I very hightly doubt it. Why do you ask, sweetling?"

"She has been giving me strange looks since we left our home."

Another shake of his head as he grabbed her hand and helped her step over a fallen tree. "That's just Adelais being herself. It's nothing to do with you."

"If you're sure," she gulped, then stopped in her tracks as the trees around them began to clear, revealing a small village. East Lothain. Her old home.

She whipped around, eyes wide as she stared at Philip. "What are we doing here?"

His lips curved up into a odd sort of smile that she'd never seen on him before. "Feeding."

It wasn't long before they were in the midst of the village, and the Coven began to split up at the seams, quick and snappy, as if already ordered into the specific groups they wandered off into.

"Where are they going?" Lux frowned, watching as Mathilde, Euphraxia, Geoffrey, and Madoc stalked away, making a beeline for a pub Lux recalled her father spending many nights inside.

Philip placed a hand atop the small of her back. "Nothing you need to concern yourself with."

As he moved her through the village, she adjusted her hood, making sure it better concealed her face. Eventually, Philip stopped in his tracks, reaching a small building Lux recalled, but could not remember the name of.

Alongside her and Philip were two other Coven members — Odo and Cecil, both hovering behind the two and like her, appeared to be waiting for further instructions.

For a moment, Philip was silent. Then, as a young man that couldn't have been much older than Lux exited the building, he perked up, turning around to look at the two boys behind them. "Him."

They nodded, moving around Philip and towards the otherwise empty alleyway, stalking up to the man who hadn't so much as looked in their direction.

Lux turned to Philip, frowning. "What—"

Her question was cut off by a thud, and turned just in time to see the man collapse to the ground in a heap, Cecil hovering above him.

She yelped, jumping backwards and colliding with Philip, who had taken a step forward.

A hand fell on her shoulder as her heart rate sped up. "Move, Lux," he urged, and despite the million questions buzzing in her mind, the frantic anxiety and the scent of blood in the air sending her nerves on edge, she did as he told, moving towards Cecil and Odo and the man, who was groaning from his position at their feet.

She was prepared to crouch down next to him and see if he was alright, offer him a hand and bring him to the nearby doctor, but she swiftly understood what had caused the man to have fallen in the first place.

He cried out, agony laced in his tone as Cecil's jaw parted, his teeth digging into his exposed neck.

A hand covered her mouth just as she was about to emit a scream.

"Shhhh, sweetling, it's okay," Philip mused into her ear, only just loud enough to be heard through the man's whimpers. "Don't be afraid, it's okay."

Lux trembled against him, but didn't dare move. His hand was kept firmly over her parted lips, holding on tight as Cecil fed and Odo observed.

The man was dead soon after, his struggles dying down until he collapsed, muscles loosening and wet eyes stuck wide open, staring up at a sky he would never see again.

Philip let go of her. Lux stumbled forward, nearly tripping over her own two feet as she scent of blood grew somehow even more overwhelming than before.

"Kneel," Philip commanded, and it took a moment to understand he was addressing her.

She obeyed, breath hitching as she found herself only inches from the corpse, on her knees just as Cecil let go of him and rose to his feet.

"Drink," Philip urged.

She whipped her head around, staring up at him, his menacing height and the grey eyes that had nothing behind them. No warmth, no hesitancy, nothing but an excited hunger for the blood dripping from the man's neck.

She stared at the blood, at the body, then at Philip, before shaking her head. Animal blood was one thing, it was at the core of it, no different than consuming meat, but the insides of a human...

It was cannibalism.

Her stomach lurched.

"Don't force the child if she doesn't care to, Philip," Cecil suggested as Odo took his turn on the corpse, fangs sinking into his skin and drawing out blood. "It's more for us, otherwise."

Philip ignored him entirely, attention fixed on Lux. Then, before she had time to so much as blink, his hand was entwined with her hair, pulling on her scalp as he too knelt down.

Pain shot through her.

"What are you—" she began with an outraged shout, hand frantically going to where his were, trying to pull him off of her, but she was cut off when Philip dragged her towards the ground by her scalp, until her face was mere inches from the corpse's bloodied neck.

"Philip—" Odo began, letting go of the corpse, but one look from the vampire had him shutting up before another word could get out.

"Drink," he ordered once more, any pleasantries vanished as he tugged on her hair further, dragging her lips against his neck. Against the blood.

There was no use fighting, neither Philip or the insatiable hunger clawing at her insides. There was no use pretending she didn't crave it, pretending she was still a human in any form but the skin she wore.

When the human blood met her tongue and absorbed into her, she'd never felt so powerless. She'd never felt so powerful.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .*:☆ﾟ. ───

February 14th, 1629 ✦ Hollyvale Manor

"I have a request."

Lux glanced up from the book she'd been paging through, outstretched on the couch with her legs crossed, to find Philip approaching her.

She lowered the book, bending the page to save her spot before setting it to the side and straightening her posture. "Yes?"

The rest of the Coven were asleep, the sun having begun to peak over the horizon an hour or so ago, but exhaustion had yet to find her. She'd prefer reading until she fell asleep on the couch, as opposed to listening to Mathilde's loud snores in the room the four girls shared.

Philip often stayed up late into the morning with her, keeping her company as she read or sewed or did other mundane tasks to pass the time. Sometimes they spoke, idle conversations about her time at Hogwarts, or her family, or other aspects of her life as a human. Aspects she'd never get back.

She'd inquired about his past as well, but he kept his experiences well guarded, refusing to speak on the topic other than in vague references of this and that.

"Stand. I have something I wish to teach you."

She did, pushing herself onto her feet and following him as he guided her towards the piano, motioning for her to sit on the stool.

Her mouth went dry, eyes growing wide. No one had touched the piano since Titus had been slain while playing it, drops of his crimson blood still staining the keys, now a deep brown shade.

"Don't be afraid, sweetling." Philip placed a hand on the small of her back. "I want to teach you to play. With Titus no longer with us, it would be nice to have someone else to play the piano during our gatherings."

Her brow furrowed, anxiety slowly receding. "You can play the piano?"

"I can," he confirmed with a warm smile. "But it wouldn't make much sense for me to play when we have events, would it? I'm the leader of our family, I'm needed for more important things."

She nodded in agreement as she sat down in the exact same spot as Titus had been, shifting around as she struggled to get comfortable.

Philip was silent as he hovered behind her, hands finding her own and placing them on the keyboard. "Do as I do," he said, before pressing down on a few keys.

She did the same, the sound that emitted from the piano coming out a bit more awkward and clunky than his own, but not unpleasant either. Turning to Philip, she searched him for a reaction, and smiled in relief when she spotted his subtle grin.

"Again," he repeated, showing a new way of playing the keys, and she did, tapping on them with her fingers and grinning to herself as she succeeded.

His chest pressed against her back as she repeated every motion he set for her, for an hour or two until Lux could play a full song — a simple one, but a song nonetheless, and she was beaming with pride from the accomplishment mixed in with Philip's continuous praises.

"You're a natural," he told her, taking a step back. "You'll be a master at it soon, I can tell."

"Thank you."

For a moment, Philip simply stood and looked at her, jaw shifting as his eyes scanned her up and down. Then, with more curiosity than she'd ever seen in the man, he asked, "What am I to you, Lux?"

She blinked as she retracted her hands from the piano, placing them back at her side. "What...what do you mean?"

He shook his head, a hint of irritation in him. "You heard me."

"I..." Lux began, hands wrapping together and fingers fidgeting with each other. A father would be the answer she would give if she was forced into honesty, one far more attentive than Sandor Erzsebet had ever been, but also a strict one. One she knew better than to cross, but had never come close to doing as much. The worst he'd done to her was pulling her hair the very first night she'd drank human blood, but she'd seen what his words could do. She'd seen Titus bleed out under his command, she'd seen a dozen humans crumple to the ground without him having to do anything except nod towards them.

But despite it all, he had been kind to her. He had helped her. He had saved her.

Something told her that calling him akin to Sandor Erzsebet was the wrong answer to give. Philip craved more praise than being compared to a man who had already once been in her life. He wanted to be an anomaly, an exception. Just as she did, he craved being special.

Eventually, she concluded, "You saved me. I would be dead without you. I am in your debt, and cherish the life you have given me."

His smile expanded.

Then, he was leaning down once more, cupping her chin with his hand and stroking her cheek with his thumb as he so often did, his gaze as soft and warm as ever. "You're a pretty thing, aren't you sweetling?"

"I don't—"

Philip cut her off, but not with more flattering words, or bizarre questions, or requests. Instead, with his rough, coarse hand still grazing her cheekbone, his lips crashed into hers.

Lux froze.

For a moment, her mind was as blank as her eyes, still open and struggling to comprehend what it was that was happening. But the moment it hit her, the moment her thoughts caught up with Philip's actions, Lux's instincts screamed in retaliation, a chorus of pleas telling her to shove him off, to tell him to stop, to run away and never look back.

Her hand found a place on his chest as she prepared to shove him off of her with all the strength she could gather—

She stopped the moment her palm met his tunic.

Philip was not a man who understood the word no, that had been made as clear as the day sky to her the moment she'd entered the Coven, woken up on that bed and been met with a man so confident, he rivaled the God they all defied by simply living and breathing.

It didn't matter if she told him to stop, if she pushed him off, if she ran away. He was older, stronger, faster, and her words were of little consequence to him.

Images flashed through her mind, of Titus on the very bench she sat on now, a stake in his back, blood stained silk, the sound of the piano going quiet. That would be her if she went against him.

Philip pulled away moments later. Her hand fell back to her side, as limp and useless as any other resistance she could've mustered.

When his lips parted, half of her expected an apology. Hoped for one. She certainly didn't expect him to make another demand, as if unphased by her lack of response to his actions. Or worse, enticed by it. "Come with me."

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .*:☆ﾟ. ───

Everything hurt.

Lux's breath was short and shallow as she forced herself off of her back and onto her side, struggling to keep herself contained, even as she shook like a newborn babe.

Her lungs. Her wrists. Her abdomen.

Everything hurt.

She pulled the blankets that draped over Philip's bed — the very same bed she'd woken up in the day she'd turned from human to beast — over her body, hoping he wouldn't notice the way she trembled through the fabric.

Philip was concealed himself, on his back and staring up at the ceiling, the remnants of a passive smile on his lips. She watched him for a moment, waiting to see if he'd acknowledge what had just occurred between them. For an explanation.

He was silent. He didn't even look at her.

Lux turned onto her other side, facing away from him as bile rose in her throat. Her eyes shut tight, for what could've very well been minutes or hours, there was silence between them.

Then, Philip broke it, voice dull and uninterested as he spoke. "Bring all of your belongings in here tomorrow. I'd like you to stay with me."

A question rose in her, a why and a what and a please don't, but she restrained it, keeping her eyes firmly closed. Maybe he would think she had fallen asleep if she didn't answer him.

A hand fell on her back, moving atop her bare skin with soft, gentle strokes, though the caresses stilled when she heard his breathing shift, Philip slowly lulling to sleep, until his little snores were pressed against her ear.

She tried, she did, to fall asleep, and by all means, she should have been able to. There were no loud noises, nor was the bed anything but comfortable, she wasn't too warm or too cold.

But everything hurt. Her wrists. Her head. Her will.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .*:☆ﾟ. ───

July 9th, 1650 ✦ Hollyvale Manor

The sound of scratching of quill on paper kept Lux from drifting off to sleep, despite how still she remained, and long she kept her eyes closed for.

She'd never been a heavy sleeper even as a human, and since moving into Philip's bedroom, her insomnia had bordered on mind numbing. At least when sharing a room with Adelais, Mathilde and Euphraxia, the only thing she had to worry about was them whispering about her when they assumed she was asleep.

Philip, on the other hand, was a wild card. She never knew what to expect from him, if he wanted something from her and what it was meant to be. If it was a day where she could lay back and take it, or if he wished for her participation.

He didn't want anything that day, it seemed. Instead, he was preoccupied with the journal he poured himself into on a daily basis. Though she supposed, there was always after...

If she pretended to be asleep, maybe he wouldn't bug her. He knew how awful her days had been, how sleepless they'd become. Would he interrupt the little bits of rest she did manage to get?

He would.

Nearly another hour had gone by with her praying to the deaf God who reigned above them that she could fall asleep, before the scratching of the parchment had quieted, and Philip sunk into the bed himself. She half expected to hear snoring follow in short, but instead, his hand found a place atop her thigh, gently stroking her skin above the nightgown she wore.

Lux didn't bother pretending she had been asleep as she rolled over to face him, exhaling a soft sigh. She'd been so close to that realm of sleep she craved when he'd touched her...maybe just this once, she could get some much needed sleep, rather than be sore and dirty and far too awake. It had been ten years of consistent obedience, he couldn't deny her one night, could he?

Remaining silent, Philip's hand returned to her thigh, moving to tug her nightgown up. When she pulled away, she watched as he frowned.

"I'd rather not."

He blinked. "I beg your pardon?"

Her breath hitched, regret searing in her gut. But she couldn't go back now, not when she'd laid her cards on the table. "I...I am tired. Could we just...not? Just for ton—"

Her request was cut off when Philip's hand made its way up from where it had been dancing on her thigh, and without so much as a warning, a fist was formed around her throat.

Nothing could've prepared her for this. He'd been violent, yes, towards Euphraxia and Odo and other Coven members who let him down in one way or another, but never towards her. Never this extreme. That was always Torquatus's job.

Her hands flung to his as pain shot through his grip and air slipped from her lungs. Desperate tugging did nothing to sway him, nor did the tears that formed in her bulging eyes. He wouldn't kill her, would he?

Maybe, a small voice in the back of her head rang, he should. Maybe he should just get it over with. End her suffering before it would truly begin.

Philip let go the moment she stopped struggling. Lux heaved, gasping for air, drowning herself in it even as her throat burned from the contact.

"Don't deign think your authority surpasses mine," he hissed, any false kindness he once used to wear vanished from his murky grey eyes. Now, all she saw in him was pure, raw intent.

She nodded, knowing so much as opening her mouth would result in more violence. Even so, his expression softened when a pathetic whimper left her lips.

A hand went to stroke her cheek in a way he so often did, his anger having melted away. "Oh, sweetling, it's okay. You didn't know. Now you do. It's okay."

How he managed to shift from furious to comforting in a matter of moments, Lux couldn't wrap her head around. But when Philip's lips were on hers, she put up no resistance. It was best not to push the beast, even if every instinct wanted to.

It was best to close her eyes and grit her teeth and suck it up, even as a storm stirred within her.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .*:☆ﾟ. ───

September 21st, 1956 ✦ East Lothain, Scotland

The pub reeked, a conjunction of scents Lux didn't want to know the origin of flooding her as she and Odo stepped inside, giving each other a look as they did. His deep brown eyes were muddled with both disgust and amusement, and she was barely able to contain what would've been a laugh.

It was just them that night. The other Coven members had split into pairs as well, diving into their own various pubs, restaurant, brothels and whatever else tickled their fancy, finding their own prey.

"Meet right over there," Odo jammed his finger back out through the door and towards a street lamp, shining through the dark night, "in five hours? We can split our bounty before the rest of the Coven gets dibs."

"Sure." She nodded, before reverting her attention towards the swarm of humans, laughing and dancing and drinking. It was not her first time in this pub, seeking out a perfect victim, nor would it be her last.

No one ever suspected anything from her, not when the bodies came back bled dry and robbed of anything of value, with Lux having been the last person to be seen with them. She was a nice, pretty blonde girl, too skinny to lift half of the men's body weight, let alone strike them down and drain them of blood.

If she did feel herself getting too picked apart, find people gathering too close to the truth, it was an easy way out. Disappear for ten or so years, come back when people had long forgotten she or her victims ever existed.

Approaching the bar, Lux ordered a drink she knew she wouldn't be able to consume, as she scanned the room, eyes searching for someone who was alone, someone who no one would miss if they disappeared for a few hours.

But to her luck, she didn't have to so much as move from her stool, as just moments after her drink had been handed to her, she heard a rustling sound behind her, followed by a gentle, "Excuse me?"

She turned around, eyebrows lifted as she observed the man who had approached her. The first thing that caught her attention was his flaming red hair, a shade unlike anything she'd ever seen before. It reflected on the dim pub lighting, giving an almost iridescent glow to his locks. His eyes were a deep hazel shade, with freckles dotted across his skin like the night sky, and his lips were twitching ever so slightly as he smiled at her. Bodily, he couldn't have been more than four years her senior, though something in his eyes shone with age, a life lived where he was forced to grow up too fast.

"May I sit?" He asked, nudging towards the spot next to her. Before she could accept him, he recoiled slightly. "If not, that's fine. No hard feelings. Just saw you sitting alone. Do you fancy company?"

A small laugh ripped up her throat, which she only just managed to catch before letting it spill out. "Go ahead."

He beamed, scrambling to sit on the stool. She noticed his left leg shaking rapidly, a nervous habit much like one her mother once had.

"I'm Elias," he began without prompting, voice quick, as though rushing to get all of his thoughts out before she could change her mind. "Elias Hyde. Are you from around here? I haven't seen you here, and I come here pretty often." His face paled at the implication of his words, then he interjected, "Not that I'm a drunk, no, don't think that! I like to people watch. It's for a novel I'm writing — I'm not a stalker either, swear it. Did you say your name? I don't think you did. What's your name?"

"Lux."

His lips quirked, eyes growing wide with excitement. "That's pretty! I've never met a Lux before. Did you know it means light? I studied Latin in school pretty vigorously. Top of my class!"

She found herself frowning, unsure if he wanted a response or not, if he was the type of man who expected a conversation, or simply wanted someone to hear his rambles.

Elias Hyde seemed to notice her hesitancy, smile dimming ever so slightly as he observed her. "Sorry. My mum always said I talk too much. It happens when I get nervous. Or excited. Or both."

Silence. Then, she found the smallest, rarest of smiles sliding onto her lips without her having to force it. Lux would typically get driven up a wall if someone spoke to her this much, but something in her enjoyed the sound of Elias's voice, the way in which he carried himself with an awkward sort of confidence that he wasn't sure he had earned, but held close anyways.

"I don't mind," Lux eventually assured him, voice coming out uncharacteristically soft.

He let out a breath of relief, shoulders slumping slightly. "Where are you from, then?"

"Around here," she answered, keeping her words vague. "You?"

"I live just 'round the corner, actually." He nudged a finger to his left, a little too eagerly, nearly hitting the man next to him in the ear as he did. Giving the confused man an apologetic smile, he turned back to Lux, saying, "I've got a flat."

"I'd love to see it."

Lux was good at this now, at cutting to the chase without being too direct. After all, there was only little time she had before the veil of night would wane, and she needed to be back in the Coven's manor with the taste of blood on her lips and jewels in her pockets.

The men were all the same, drunk and flattered and eager. They never saw it coming.

But Elias Hyde was not every other man, and his reaction made this evident. He paled, freckles vanishing into his skin, and he bit down on his lip. "I should probably get to know you better first, before you come over to my home. Just to make sure you're not a serial killer. Or me either. I could be one too! I'm not, but...just so we both feel safe. Maybe I could take you to dinner? A few places around here are still open — how do you feel about pizza?"

She frowned. "I'm not hungry."

"Oh."

"We could go somewhere else, though," she suggested a little too quick. "This bar is a bit...stuffy."

If Elias picked up on her shift in tone, he didn't show it, as he beamed. "We could go dancing. I've never been, but there's a place just a few blocks away. Have you ever been dancing? I've heard it's fun."

"I haven't."

"Come on," he jumped to his feet, reaching out a hand for her to take. She stared at it for a second, considering, before accepting.

Lux didn't spare Odo so much as a thought as they exited the pub, hand in hand.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .*:☆ﾟ. ───

Dancing was much different at the ballroom they were in, then the occasional times Philip would allow her to step off of the piano and join him in swaying to music played by other Coven members. Herman was well trained in the lute, and Cecil had mastered the violin centuries ago, meaning she wasn't the only one they relied on for music. Not that she much preferred leaving her place on the piano. At least there, no one bothered her.

The dances in the Coven, in Philip's embrace, were slow. Methodical. A type of dance where she was afraid one wrong step would result in a palm struck across her cheek.

This was different. The music was upbeat, blaring from a source Lux wasn't sure of, with women and men of all ages dancing in poofy pink skirts and loose shirts, the sound of their footsteps on the wood floor echoing off the walls.

Elias was more gentle than most of the men there, his words about not ever having danced before becoming evident with every awkward movement he made. Not that Lux was any better — ballroom dances were far different than whatever this was, fun and loose and free.

His hands remained entwined with hers as he spun her around, never once moving to any part of her body, though she could feel a small shake in his clammy palms every time her grip would loosen.

"You seem a bit on edge," Elias commented after two dances in which she could barely figure out how to move her feet, let alone fly around and sway her hips like the other girls were. "We can leave, if you'd like. We don't have to dance, if you don't like it."

She thought for a moment, then shook her head. "No. It's fun. I just...don't really know what I'm doing."

Her last words were said with a sheepish sort of shrug that had Elias grinning ear to ear. "Me neither. Everyone else looks so cool, but I think I have two left feet."

Lux moved, letting go of one of his hands to brush a clump of blonde hair out of her face.

Elias was handsome, she determined as she got a better look at him, her breathing still heavy as her eyes scanned him up and down. It was an unconventional sort of good look, an awkward charm she'd never have envisioned finding herself enticed by, but simply meeting his hazel eyes and seeing how they sparkled made her want to grin.

"What are you smiling at?" He asked, tone playful.

A hand flung to her lips, not having realized she'd reacted in such a way. "Sorry."

His brow furrowed together, the lightness he carried dimming as confusion morphed into him. "What do you have to be sorry for? Smiling isn't a crime, is it?"

To Philip, it was.

"I suppose not."

"Your smile is awful pretty," he stated, then swiftly continued, "I mean, you're pretty without it, but...I like your smile. You have a dimple, did you know? I mean, surely you know. But it's lovely to look at."

She didn't know. Her hand retracted back to her side as she fought the urge to search her face with her hand and feel around for the dimple, prove its existence.

"Thank you."

"Do you want to do another song? No problem if you don't. We could sit down, too." He nudged toward a row of chairs, where a few worn out couples were scattered among, breathing heavily with lazy smiles on their lips.

"Sitting would be nice," she admitted as she shifted around in her too high heels, before regretting it the moment she spoke. Bracing for him to take it back, for him to yell or mock her, neither occurred. Instead, the hand of hers that he still held began tugging her towards the chairs.

"Better?" He asked when she'd taken her seat, straightening her skirt with her hands. He'd let go of his soft grip on her, his fingers now twiddling in his lap, as if he didn't quite know how to keep still.

She nodded, though her racing heart didn't cease its pounding.

"Do you need to be back at a specific time?" Elias asked after a moment of silence between the pair, the blaring overhead music keeping them company. "I can bring you home. You shouldn't walk alone in the dark. It's dangerous."

Lux nearly laughed, only just managing to contain it.

"I'll be fine," she promised him, straightening her posture. "I'm not needed back for a while. Before morning, but...we have the night to ourselves."

"If you're sure." He paused, before reaching over with his hand and placing it on top of hers. For a moment, she paused, assuming he wanted something, but when no words left him, her brow furrowed together.

"Is something the matter?"

She shook her head, forcing her expression into one of neutrality, if not passive happiness.

He didn't seem convinced, frowning himself. "We can go home, if you'd like. Really, I don't mind. Tonight was lovely, but if that's all you'd want to do, I can't complain. I had the time of my life, it would be a shame to drag it on more if you're not interested. I won't take offense."

Something in her chest began to burn, an ache that for a moment, she could not pinpoint the source.

After several long seconds passed in silence, it hit her; it stemmed from the idea of following through with his suggestion and ending the night. It stemmed from the idea of having to rip this man's throat out, feast on his dying body and rob him of all he treasured. It stemmed from having to return to Philip with nothing to show for herself but a fresh meal and a couple things to add to their already endless riches.

"I want to stay out longer," Lux declared before she could think about the consequences it may have.

"Are you—"

"I'm sure," she cut him off, squeezing down on the hand of hers he held, confidence flooding through her. Rising onto her feet with a newfound enthusiasm, she tugged on his arm, urging him to do the same. "Come on, let's dance."

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .*:☆ﾟ. ───

Two more hours had passed before Elias had blurted out an invite for her to come back to his apartment. It was getting late, he claimed, and he didn't want her going back to that pub at an hour where all the sketchy people would show up, nor did he want her walking home on her own, since she wouldn't let him bring her back.

Lux supposed this was it, as he led her towards his flat, hand still shaking in the grip he had on her own. She'd get invited inside, bleed him dry, and find any valuables hidden amongst his possession. There was a solid four hours left before the sun would rise again — there was time, even if it was shorter than she was used to.

Elias only let go of her hand to reach into his pocket and fiddle with the key as he inserted it into the lock. It took him several seconds before a click emitted from the door, and he pushed it open with a triumphant grin.

As he stepped inside, Lux paused just before her feet could slam into the door frame — or more so, the invisible barrier that would've kept her from entering.

"Is everything alright?" He asked as he observed her.

She gulped, before forcing a playful grin, hoping to come off carefree as she spoke, "You need to invite me in."

A confused smile slid onto his lips, but he did as she requested, sending a rush of regret through her before she could comprehend why.

This stupid, stupid boy. How could he not see what was so clearly in front of him? He should've said no, should've sensed what she was. Should've driven a stake through her heart while she was looking away. It would've been better for the both of them, in the end.

He ran a hand through his hair. "Right, right. Awful rude of me, isn't it? Come on in."

Her heart shattered as she mustered a smile, stepping into the flat. The lights were on, causing her to squint as she scanned the room — a couch planted in front of a television, and a radio in the corner, at the foot of a large lamp. It was a mess of Lux had ever seen one, with various knickknacks coating just about every inch of surface, to the point where she worried she may accidentally step on something.

"Sorry," Elias winced, sensing her thoughts. "I would've cleaned, but I didn't expect guests. No one but me has come here in months, really, and my landlord doesn't mind the clutter, so...I'll clean soon, though. Tomorrow, maybe. Have it all nice and shiny if you ever want to come back."

"I don't mind."

It was the second time that night she'd said those words, and both times, they had been true. There was something oddly relaxing about the sheer chaos surrounding her, the absence of order that she'd been forced to mold herself around. She had taken the shape Philip had desired of her — neat, tidy, and a world without such things was foreign and all too enticing.

"Do you want to sit?" He asked, motioning towards the couch. Before she could give him an answer, he was rushing towards it, grabbing a massive pile of papers and placing them onto the ground, making room for her. "Here, now there's room. Do you like orange juice? I've got a ton, I can get you some. Or milk, but it might be old...I can put a kettle on! Make you a nice cup of tea, if you'd like?"

"I'm alright. Thank you."

"Of course," he grinned, watching as she took a seat. "We can watch the telly if you'd like. I got it about a month ago, it works like a charm. Of if you'd rather go to sleep, let me know. You can have my bed, I don't mind taking the couch. Or we can just talk. Whatever you'd like, really."

Lux was silent, the amount of information being thrown at her taking several moments to process. Then, her eyes flickered towards the floor, and were snagged by the pile of papers he'd moved off of the couch. Upon closer inspection, they weren't blank — writing covered just about every inch of space, swift, scratching handwriting unlike anything she'd ever seen before.

"What's all that?" She asked, nudging towards it.

His face lit up. "It's my novel."

Confusion muddled over her. "You wrote all of that?"

Elias nodded. "I've been working on it for about a year, but I had the idea when I was sixteen. So three years total. I'm nineteen, by the way. Turned nineteen in May. How old are you?"

"Old enough," she shrugged, dismissing the question as she leaned down to pick up a random page, before turning to look at him. Books had been Lux's lifeline for the three hundred years she'd lived in the Coven, but she'd never once met an actual author before, someone who could bend words to their will, create stories out of nothing but an idea and a pen.

Eagerness took over any apprehension she'd had, any thoughts of what her duty there had been in the first place. "Can I read it?"

With a sheepish sort of grin, he nodded again. "If you want. But I wouldn't start there — that's a scene in the middle of the novel, so it won't make any sense. You'll want to start at the beginning...but it needs editing. Maybe you should read it later, once I finish it all."

"When will that be?"

"Not sure yet. You can't rush perfection, I guess."

"What's it about?"

"It's a lot," he admitted, moving to sit down next to her, the couch sagging slightly under his weight. "It's a romance novel set in the eighteenth century, about a prostitute and a priest."

"A prostitute...and a priest?" She blinked, unable to contain the pulse of shock that had zipped through her.

"It's unconventional, I know. That's the point. You see, they were both born into similar circumstances, their parents both died when they were young, and they had to survive on the streets. She turned to prostitution, and he turned to the church, and both of them look down on the other for their choices, but in reality, it wasn't really a choice for either of them. It was survival, in the only way they knew how."

"I see..."

"But they come to love each other anyways, despite it all."

Something about that ripped a smile out of her, too sudden and strong to stop.

His eyes grew wide as he noticed this. "You like it?"

"I do."

He exhaled a breath of relief. "I'm so glad to hear that. Most people I've told find the topic unsettling. I mean, it could be. Right now, Emma — the prostitute, she's going to murder the man who runs the brothel she works for."

"Why?"

At her question, he frowned, as if the answer was simple. "Because he's a rapist, and allows other people to rape her."

"But she joined willingly, didn't she? Emma, she wasn't forced."

"I mean, no one held a gun to her head and said they'd shoot if she didn't comply, but...was there any other option for her, though? She was on the streets and starving, and he took advantage of that. If she'd said no, he wouldn't have listened anyways."

For a long moment, Lux was silent, a deep ache spinning in her chest at the same fast rate as her thoughts, thoughts of Philip and no's and what had been the illusion of choice, until she could barely stand it. Running a hand through her hair and exhaling a breath that had lodged in her lungs, she confirmed, "She kills him, then?"

"She does. Then she and Matthew — the priest, run away together in the night. That comes with some other issues, of course, but I don't want to spoil it all. And...are you crying?"

Horror struck in her as a hand shot to her cheeks, finding them stained with teardrops she hadn't noticed so much as form in her, let alone fall. "I'm sorry," she said as panic constricted around her neck, frantically wiping her face with her hands. "I'm sorry. I don't know what came over me. I'm sorry. I—"

"Hey, no, it's alright, stop apologizing. You have nothing to say sorry for," he interjected, reaching over to place his hand on top of hers, hazel eyes meeting hers with concern written into them unlike anything she'd seen before. "Are you...are you a prostitute? Is that why you were at the pub on your own?"

Her eyes grew wide, and she shook her head. "No, no, I'm not a prostitute."

"It's okay if you are," Elias promised, tone soft. "But...if you are, I can't afford that. If you're here to...work, then I can't. I'm flattered, but..."

"I'm not a prostitute," Lux insisted.

"Right. Okay. Neither am I."

A laugh slipped through her lips, hoarse and peculiar sounding, but a laugh nevertheless. "That's good to know."

"I feel like I've been talking too much," he said as he retracted his hand from hers. She winced at the absence, but Elias didn't seem to notice as he said, "I want to know more about you. What do you like to do?"

She thought for a moment, then answered, "I like to read."

"Me too! Do you have a favorite book?"

"I like anything written by Shakespeare. If I had to pick, maybe Hamlet."

At this, he frowned. "Shakespeare? He's so...wordy. I haven't got the time to dissect everything he's trying to say."

"I do."

His lips twitched. "Suppose that makes sense, that you'd have time. You were alone at the pub — you're not married, are you? No kids, right?"

"No husband, no kids," she assured him, though she wasn't sure if she was lying or not. Philip was not her husband, they'd never even discussed the topic, but after three hundred years in his bed, what difference did a ring on her finger make? There was no use pledging loyalty to each other, when it was the only option she had.

"Me neither. I've never courted a woman. Never...never been with one at all. It's a bit embarrassing, if I'm being honest."

Her eyebrows raised. "You go to that pub often, but you've never come back here with a girl on your arm?"

"I brought you," he said, then went red. "Sorry, sorry. I didn't mean— I know we aren't— we don't have to— I'm not expecting—"

"Elias," she cut him off with a soft touch of her hand on his, already missing the feeling of his skin. "I know what you're saying. I was joking."

"Right." He let out a nervous laugh. "We don't have to do anything. Promise. Only what you're comfortable with."

She gave him a wobbly smile, though found it faded the moment Philip returned to her mind. Not Philip himself, no, but what she was there for in the first place, something that she'd conveniently shoved to the back of her mind until she'd forgotten about it entirely.

Elias was supposed to be dead by now. His blood was supposed to have painted her tongue, his valuables stuffed into the pockets of her dress. She was supposed to meet Odo back at that light post in less than an hour.

Elias, who didn't seem to know how to sit still, shifting his position every five or so seconds. Elias, who spoke so in depth about the plights of a woman who didn't even exist, as though he could feel her pain in an understanding most people would not be able to empathize with, even towards real flesh and blood. Elias, who spent his time writing stories and people watching.

Elias, who had made her smile and laugh and cry in a matter of hours, when she'd formed such a wall of stone around her emotions, she had forgotten they existed.

Elias, who Lux had no desire to kill.

"I should go," she said suddenly, jumping to her feet and nearly stepping on the papers of his precious novel as she did.

He blinked rapidly, doing the same. "Lux, wait—"

"People will be waiting for me."

"People? Like your parents?"

She shook her head, though his words caused bitter amusement to stir in her. There had been a time when she'd seen Philip as a father of sorts. As a savior. But those days were as dead as her real parents, with the halo that had once reigned atop Philip's head like a crown burst into sharp fragments. Now, with Elias's words about consent and if there had ever been an option, the remnants of the halo had began to take the shape of horns.

"Then who?"

Lux didn't have to go back, did she? She could run, make it on her own if she got far enough away. She could do what that fool Titus had been unable to all those years ago.

She could spare Elias. She could spare herself.

"Lux," he said when she kept silent, too busy ruminating in her own thoughts. "Are you living somewhere unsafe?"

How was she supposed to answer? What answer could she possibly give? A lie would be seen straight through, but the truth...that would take several hours to explain the depths of, starting with a spell book and a burning pyre, all the way to blood and riches and an insatiable sensation of sin that clung to her.

"It's okay. You don't need to talk about it," Elias assured her. "You look...tired. Maybe you should get some rest, yeah? Come on, I'll show you to my room."

She wasn't sure why she trusted him enough to follow him, but she did, allowing Elias to guide her through his flat until he was pushing open a door near the end of a hallway. It wasn't much — just a bed, a lamp and a wardrobe, with clothes scattered across the floor that he rushed to pick up, pushing them into a pile in the corner.

"I washed the sheets two nights ago, so they're clean," he said as he messed around with the blankets on the bed, straightening them to what he deemed to be good enough, before whipping back towards her with a grin. "I'll be on the couch. Wake me if you need anything. If not...I'll see you in the morning."

She nearly burst into tears as he stepped out of the bedroom, shutting the door behind him. Typically, such air-headed behavior would strike amusement in her, but now, all she wanted to do was shake him back and forth and scream about how foolish he was being, letting a stranger enter his home and sleep in his bed. His naivety was astounding in a way she'd never seen in a man before, rivaling even her own, back when she'd gone up in flames and joined the Coven. If such things could happen to her, what would happen to him? Would he meet the same fate?

Or maybe Lux Erzsebet was the fool, for allowing herself to take comfort in the home of a man she'd just met. Maybe she was the fool for curling up into his bed without so much as locking the door behind her, pulling the cheap, itchy blankets over her body and melting into them. Maybe she was the fool for not realizing that falling asleep in a bed that was not Philip's, meant there was no turning back.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .*:☆ﾟ. ───

Soooo this is part one of the two (planned) flashbacks chapters! The next one (chapter 18, after a chapter following Fulk and Remus's POVs), will be significantly less dark I'd say, mostly just Elias and Lux's relationship developing, then we find out what exactly happened to him, and then the events leading up to Philip's murder. I hope this chapter wasn't too long, I was worried no one would want to read it lol but I think everything in it was necessary so I wasn't sure how to condense it...

ANYWAYS I'm going to be on vacation out of the country on the next posting day (12/4) so if the chapter is delayed that's why :)

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .*:☆ﾟ. ───