WILD & WICKED / © yllwjckts
013 ⸻ Best Left Unsaid

October 1st, 1977 ✦ Hogwarts

On the first day of October, Lux and Lily piled into the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom, the former's stomach swirling with anxiety as she prepared to see the man she was still at odds with. It had gotten worse over the weeks of brushing off the issue. Now, just looking at him sent flashes of Philip in her mind, his blue eyes morphing into Philip's grey, their dark hair becoming one.

"You seem on edge," Lily commented as they took their seat near the front of the classroom. Fulk lingered in his typical chair behind his desk, flipping through the pages of a book Lux had never seen before. "Is everything alright?"

"Of course it is," Lux dismissed, and to both her luck and dismay, Fulk began the class shortly after, meaning all attention was fixed onto him.

"I have an interesting subject I wish to discuss with you all today — yes, Mr. Black?" He sighed, running a hand through his hair.

"Can we please learn how to give our enemies dysentery?"

Lux bit down on her lip.

"First it was the plague, then it was syphilis, and now it's dysentery?" Remus frowned, eyeing the boy up and down. From behind the pair, James was struggling to contain his laughs.

"I told you already, as of now there is no such spell to inflict muggle maladies upon people," Fulk tutted, though his lips were curved upwards in amusement. "Though I do fear the day you invent your own enchantment. I'd hate to be on the bad side of a dysentery spell."

Sirius sighed with regret, leaning back in his chair.

"No, class, today will not require the usages of our wands. We will be learning about a practical matter today, one Dumbledore specifically asked me to inform you all about."

A swarm of whispers echoed through the classroom, and from what Lux could gather, it was rare indeed when Dumbledore deigned to interfere with the curriculum.

When the chatter died down, Fulk continued, "I'm meant to educate you all on the rising dark wizard, who goes by the name Lord Voldemort."

Lily inhaled a sharp breath. Someone nearby coughed loudly. From behind them, Peter fell out of his seat.

"I expect all of you are familiar enough with this name," he continued as though nothing had happened. "It's a name I imagine sinks fear straight to your bones. Dumbledore has instructed me to inform you about this so called Lord Voldemort, and more importantly, his followers."

A hand shot in the air.

"Yes, Mr. Lovegood?"

"You say more importantly, his followers," Lovegood prompted. "How can that be true? Voldemort is the threat, not the people who listen to him."

Fulk's icy eyes shifted to look at Lux, meeting her gaze, "My dear boy, a King is nothing without his loyal subjects. Without those to do his bidding, without those to listen to his words as gospel and act upon them, Voldemort would be as little of a threat to us as Mr. Pettigrew over there."

Peter, who was struggling to rise to his feet, let out a squeak of alarm at being mentioned, falling back to the floor again.

"Here," James moved a hand to help Peter up, which he frantically accepted.

"The types of dark magic is not for the faint of heart," Fulk continued. "As it goes, the people who cannot handle it are the types he would target. It's imperative everyone is able to at least identify him, his followers, and what tactics they will use to reel you in. At its core, these so called Death Eaters are no different than any other cult, just with much more power."

He waved his wand, and atop the screen hanging from the wall, an odd sort of symbol appeared, one that struck Lux with a sense of familiarity as she looked at it. She'd seen it somewhere, she was certain of it, the snake that sank into the mouth of a skull, but her mind came up blank as she thought.

"This," Fulk began, motioning towards it. "Is a dark mark. A symbol of Voldemort's loyal followers. They get them tattooed on their left arm once they're initiated into his little group, as a brand of loyalty."

Lux nearly fell out of her seat just as Peter had, grabbing onto Lily to prevent herself from toppling over as realization slammed into her.

She knew exactly where she'd seen that symbol before, the moment Fulk mentioned the location on the body it was. It had been branded onto the forearm of Regulus Black that day in the Slug Club, only just peeking out of the sleeve of his robe.

"Are you okay?" Lily whispered as Lux steadied herself.

She nodded, bile building in her throat. James had told her Regulus was a blood supremacist, but working for Voldemort? At his age, as well? Younger than she'd been when she'd been forced into the Coven, and she doubted it had taken Regulus Black much coercion to get that mark across his pale skin.

Fulk, who had been going on about the dark mark and the implications of it, turned to Lux for a brief moment, the hint of a frown on his expression. "Could anyone here tell me how cults work? How does one get indoctrinated into a cult?"

No one raised their hand.

His head turned to her once more, jerking her thoughts out of where they'd been stagnant regarding Regulus Black and what to do about the newfound knowledge she possessed. "Lux, perhaps you'd know a thing or two?"

Her face went a beet red, blood rushing to her cheeks as she gulped. What was Fulk playing at? Part of her itched to deny him what he was requesting, push against him even further than she already had.

Who was he, after all, to hint at the Coven in such a public setting? Back when it was just them, they spoke of it rarely, and when they did, it was in plain words. Never pushed too hard on. But the Fulk of the cabin was not the Fulk of Hogwarts. He'd been replaced with something of more impulse, more bravery. He'd morphed into someone like her, someone who pushed and pushed until someone shattered.

Nothing good would come of antagonizing him even more by denying him, Lux understood that. It would only serve in building a larger wall between them than the current one was. So she answered through a shaky breath, "Fear."

"Fear," Fulk repeated with a smirk. "I like that. Could you elaborate?"

The scars on her back burned with a previously unmatched fury. "Once you're in the cult, they scare you into staying. They use people who fled as examples to convince people not to. They hurt them, or kill them. You're stuck with them, or you die. There's no way out."

Fulk nodded, and her stomach lurched. "Thank you, Lux. That was very insightful."

Her nose twitched as he turned towards the opposite end of the classroom, scanning the rows of students. "And Mr. Snape, could you provide any other additional insight?"

"Cults use flattery," he answered swiftly, dark eyes shifting between Fulk and Lux as he spoke. "They prey on your weaknesses, when they first find you. If you're lonely, or outcasted, or bullied."

"A bad home life, too," a boy Lux didn't recognize added.

"Precisely. Cults prey on the emotionally weak. They find vulnerable people, for whatever reason it may be. I doubt Voldemort is any different. His followers were lonely. They wanted to be a part of something — anything, and now they are. And we'll all pay for it."

"We'll fight," James shouted out, followed by Sirius saying, "Yeah!"

"We will," Lily agreed more timidly, tucking a strand of red hair behind her ear.

Lux turned to look at her, brow furrowed together. "You're going to fight?"

She nodded, a brave smile on her lips.

She gulped, glancing at Fulk to find he was already staring at the pair, eyes murky with a look she'd rarely seen on him. It didn't take a mind reader to know what he was thinking either, she knew exactly what thoughts swam within the depths of his mind.

"Will you?" Lily asked, voice thick with curiosity. Lux could tell that she wouldn't fault her no matter the answer she gave, an answer she'd put little thought to even with daily articles of murdered families and missing muggles. This was a war between wizards, between humans, not for vampires like her to dabble in.

The promise she'd made Dumbledore was not to side with Voldemort. It had nothing in the contract to support his fight, to charge into battle for a cause that she believed in, but not enough to risk her own skin.

Fulk, on the other hand, she was well aware he'd watch from the sidelines as the battles took place, and rise from the ashes after the two sides wore themselves out. He'd never submit to either, not fully.

And where Fulk went, Lux was bound to follow. That was the way of things.

"I'd have to ask my father what his plans are," she settled on, wringing her delicate hands together. "We support the cause, of course. But...I know little on how to go about fighting in a war. I'm not sure I'd be of much use."

Lily nodded in understanding. "It's okay to be scared. I am."

She nearly laughed, biting down on her lip. "I'm not afraid."

"Of course not," she reached over, grabbing atop Lux's forearm and gently squeezing down. "Whatever's ahead of us, we're in it together."

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .*:☆ﾟ. ───

For the first time in weeks, Lux was looking forward to slinking off into the forbidden forest and meeting Fulk within the trees. He was already sipping on the neck of a limp boar when she pushed through the brush to their usual meeting spot, only just illuminated under the night.

"Nice catch," she commented with her arms crossed, leaning against a tree and wiping her mouth clean of the blood she'd consumed from a rabbit she'd snagged on her way there.

He nodded in response, tearing the beast away from his lips, grinning as he did. His white teeth stained with blood would've sent a chill down the spine of anyone, but Lux simply laughed to herself at the sight.

"You're speaking to me, then?" He cocked an eyebrow, shoving the dead animal to the side entirely. It landed on the forest floor with a thump that sent birds flying from the trees.

Her jaw shifted, any amusement fading. "I never stopped."

"You haven't initiated a conversation with me in weeks," he pointed out. "You barely look at me in class. When you're getting blood, you rush in and out without a word."

Why would I talk to you? She wanted to yell, to scream, to grab his shoulders and shake him until he understood. You called me a coward. You blamed me for Philip's actions. For what he did to me.

You don't care about me.

"I've been busy," she lied with the gentle shrug of her shoulders. "Lots of homework."

Something in his eyes sparkled. "If you insist."

She leaned against the trunk of a tree, sliding down it until she was seated on the grass.

"How did you feel about class today?" He asked casually, stretching out his limbs until a familiar crack of his joints echoed through the forest. "Do you suppose it transfered well to the rest of the students?"

"It was interesting," she admitted, mouth dry. "I suspect they'll have a lot to think about now, regarding it."

"It made you think of the Coven," he said, not formed as a question, but a statement. Her lips parted, but before she could get a word out, he was continuing, "It wasn't my intention to make the comparison, if I'm being honest, but I caught on to it pretty quickly. Those Death Eaters are no different from our own foes."

"How? The Coven aren't weak."

"I never said they were," Fulk agreed calmly. "But do you really think a vampire would've joined them out of their own free will? Do you think the people who the Coven targeted had stable families, a decent income? People who would've been noticed disappearing?"

"They targeted me," she argued, skin burning as she did. "I had a perfectly fine life, until they snatched it away."

"They didn't target you, Lux, they saw an opportunity with you," Fulk countered. "You were to be killed anyways. They wanted a new member, for what reason, I don't know. They picked you because no one would notice you'd go missing, since you were supposed to die anyways. They bit you, so you'd come back as one of us."

She mumbled something under her breath.

"What's that?"

"Nothing," Lux shook her head. His eyes narrowed on her, but he pressed the subject no further.

"If the Coven allies themselves with Voldemort, Dumbledore and all that fight for him are screwed," Fulk said without prompting. "Two cults merged into one is something I've yet to see, and don't want to. Especially of their power. The world as we know it would crash and burn."

"The Coven would never bow to him."

"They bowed to Philip as if he wore a crown gifted from the Gods. Who's to say they won't submit to Voldemort as well?"

The answer was simple. "Voldemort isn't a vampire. They don't fear what he could do to them like they did Philip, nor will his blood supremacy be any enticement. They can't worship a man who fails to make them feel special in return."

Fulk's head tilted to the side, eyes glimmering with curiosity. "Did Philip make you feel special, then?"

She stared at him. Blinked, as his words processed in her brain.

Before she bothered to truly consider his question, something in her snapped, a rubber band pulled too tight.

"Suddenly you care about Philip?" She raged, fingers digging into the dirt she clenched onto as she dodged the question. She already knew the answer, and so did he. "Over the twenty years we've been together for, you've brought him up as few and far between as I do your past — which, may I add, I know nothing about! You haven't breathed a word about it. But now, here, Philip is all you want to talk about."

"I will say, I've always been curious about the details of the Coven, and the depths of Philip's nature," Fulk admitted, his tone causing her skin to crawl. "I ask now because I want an honest answer. You wouldn't have given me one in the cabin. You'd have said whatever it was you thought would please me, not the truth."

"You already know his nature. I never lied to you about it. I've told you all you need to know."

"I know he was a power hungry rapist that now resides in a shallow grave too good for him," he spat, gaze darkening. "But you barely speak of any of it. It was three hundred years of your life, Lux, and you've hardly brushed the surface of it with me."

She sucked in a sharp breath as she rose to her feet, attempting to hold an aura of confidence. "We lived in luxury, stealing anything of value from anyone we could. We hopped from abandoned manor to abandoned manor, often the homes of families we killed. We stalked people at night, surrounded them and bled them dry before they had time to scream. We were monsters, Fulk, myself included. What else is there to know?"

For a long moment, he was silent.

"Your scars. You said Philip was the cause of them. How exactly did you get them, though?"

She stared at him, searching for a sign of a joke. "You can't be serious."

"No, I believe he's a student in my class."

"I'm leaving." She moved to rush out the way she'd came, but her path was cut off when Fulk grabbed onto her wrist, holding her firmly in place despite trying to tug herself away. "Let me go."

She expected him to let go the moment she demanded he did, have horror flash over his expression when he'd realized what he was doing. But he didn't, holding his grip tight enough that no struggling would pull her free. "Why don't you trust me?"

She wanted to ask why he cared in the first place. Why he wanted her to trust him so badly. Why he wanted to know about Philip, when he had no reason to. But instead, she raised her eyebrows in an attempt to appear careless, "Why should I?"

He let out a scoff, shaking his head as his grip on her loosened ever so slightly. "Oh, I don't know, Lux! Maybe because, as you've pointed out, we've spent twenty years together? If I wanted you hurt by now, if I was going to do something to break your trust, I would've done so by now."

"How comforting to know."

"Yes, it should be comforting! I'm not a monster, contrary to what you seem to believe, and yet you reject me at every given moment."

Her voice was shaky and quiet as she sputtered out, "I never said you were a monster."

"You treat me like one!"

Stiffening her posture, she gulped, gathering every ounce of confidence that she could. "I treat you how I treat everyone else. Don't take it personally, you're not special."

Another scoff, and this time, he let go of her entirely. She instinctively stepped away, rubbing her wrist with her hand as though his touch had contaminated it. "Why not?" He demanded, voice echoing through the forest. "After twenty years, how am I not special? I have sacrificed everything for you! I've put my life out on the line to help you. Without me, you'd be dead, and yet, you push me away!"

"You push me away!" She shouted as well, hot, angry tears burning in the back of her eyes. "How am I supposed to trust you when I know you don't give a damn about me? And now you think I owe you something, because of a choice you made twenty years ago?"

"Stop putting words in my mouth! I—"

"I don't owe you shit," she cut him off, breath heavy. "I never made you take me in. I never made you antagonize the Coven. You chose to do that, you chose to risk your life for me, and for a reason I doubt I'll ever know, since you refuse to tell me the truth regarding it, you refuse to tell me anything at all! For all his faults, at least Philip was always honest with me."

His eyes grew wide, the ice melting away to reveal pure, unrelenting anger. "So I'm like Philip then? I'm like all those other Coven bastards?"

"I didn't say that."

"And I never said you owe me anything! But I'd like to think that after everything, you'd have some fucking gratitude! I've treated you as nothing but an equal for twenty years, whereas you act like you're right back with that piece of shit and all of the worms that groveled at his feet!"

"Stop talking about Philip!"

"Why should I? That's how you see me, isn't it?"

"Should I?"

"No!" He cried, throwing his hands in the air with exasperation. "I'm not a fucking rapist, I'm not a monster! I don't kill people for sport, or put my hands on little girls—"

"—I'm not a little girl—"

"—I'm sick of you walking on eggshells around me! I'm sick of you trying to seek my approval, second guessing everything you say then looking at me to make sure it was right! I'm sick of you playing games, pushing me away then pulling me close, then pushing me away again to see if I'll leave."

"Say it, then."

He blinked at the sudden dullness of her tone, then frowned. "Say what?"

She was silent.

"What do you want me to say, Lux?" He demanded, a hand running through his dark hair. "What could I possibly say that you don't already know? That I won't hurt you? That Philip is dead, and you don't have to worry about him or anyone like him ever again? That you exist to me as a person, and not an object for my pleasure? That I've never once even thought of you in the regard of sex, and I never will? You know all of this!"

She shook her head slowly, eyes not once leaving his as she did. "I want to know why you beat Mulciber up, after he put his hands on me. You didn't have to hurt him further than pulling him off of me, but you did. Why?"

Something flickered in his eyes. "I already answered this. We protect our own."

"No, we don't," she insisted with a bite in her tone. "I killed Philip, I killed the most powerful vampire to roam the planet, and you've only ever praised me for it. This has nothing to do with species loyalty, or you'd have joined the Coven the moment they asked you to."

It was his turn to shake his head. "I don't know what else you want from me."

She exhaled a breath, and with it, the anger inside her left. Instead, a deep, guttural ache replaced it, covered with a blanket of exhaustion. She was no longer a rabid dog, snarling and biting, she'd been wounded by the hand that fed her, and all she wanted to do was lay down and absorb the pain radiating in her.

Forcing the smallest, saddest of smiles, she shrugged, even as the ache increased until she was nearly doubling over from the pain. Perhaps the truth of what she wanted to hear was best left unsaid, for both of their sakes. "Yeah, I don't know what I want either."

"Lux," he began, but it was too late. She was already stalking away, vanishing into the castle.

"Are you alright?" Was the first thing Lux was met with as she stepped into the dorm room. It wasn't directed at her from Lily, though, it was Dorcas who sat on her bed, eyeing her with concern she'd never felt from the girl before.

Something in her shifted, an aura of suspicion hitting her. Since when did Dorcas Meadows give a damn about Lux? An ulterior motive was probable, though she couldn't fathom what it would be.

"I'm fine," Lux answered, though the rawness in her voice suggested otherwise. They both knew it, too. Dorcas was no idiot.

She cocked an eyebrow, tossing her braided hair over her shoulder. "Really? Because you look like hell. No offense, of course."

"None taken," Lux mumbled, moving over to her own bed and taking a seat atop it.

Dorcas shifted her position, eyes never straying from Lux as she did.

"Is this about Lily?" She asked after a hesitant inhale of air.

Her brow furrowed together as her heart spiked. "No...did something happen?"

"No, nothing happened." Dorcas gulped, shifting her position once again and moving to scratch the back of her neck. "I just...I saw her with James. If that's of any consequence to you."

Her jaw shifted. "Why would that be of any consequence?"

"Don't you..." she stared at her, a confused expression morphing over her face, before shaking her head. "Never mind. I just assumed."

Lux was silent for a long moment, a question eating away at her that she wasn't sure she wanted to know the answer to. In the end, her curiosity overtook the need to protect her heart, and she asked, "What was Lily doing with James?"

Dorcas lifted an eyebrow.

"Never mind. I don't care," Lux murmured, turning her attention towards the window, watching as the moon illuminated the glistening grounds of Hogwarts. No doubt Fulk still lurked in the forest, taking his sweet time.

"They were snogging," Dorcas eventually answered, and Lux's head shot towards her. "I saw them under the staircase, where they thought no one would see them. Don't reckon they noticed me, they seemed a bit busy."

For a second, she was silent, jaw shifting as her mind wrapped around the concept. Lily Evans embraced with James Potter, sharing an intimate moment, had her stomach churning in a way she knew wasn't normal.

Then, she forced a casual shrug, remembering who she was speaking to. Remembering Dorcas had motives beyond her understanding. Remembering she too had some tricks up her sleeve, a hidden card she was waiting for just the right moment to play. "Why would I care?"

"Lux," Dorcas said simply, giving her a look that had all her defenses melting away just as they were built.

"You...you can't tell anyone," Lux whispered, despite being the only two in the room. She could taste her own panic on her tongue, bitter and poignant and all too real. "Dorcas, you have to keep this between us."

"I'm not going to tell anyone," Dorcas assured her, then bit her lip. "But it won't make much of a different. Everyone with eyes can see how you look at Lily. And Sirius. And Remus."

Lux groaned, running a hand through her hair. "Is it that obvious?"

Dorcas nodded gravely. "You're not as stoic as you think you are."

She groaned again, leaning back on the bed, grabbing a pillow, and pushing it against her face. "Kill me now," she murmured into the fabric, hoping to suffocate in her own dread.

Through the feathers she had pressed over her ears, she could hear Dorcas laugh.

"It's not that big of a deal," she assured her. "I mean, Hogwarts has got plenty of people who swing in the other direction. Or both, like you. It's not like how it used to be. It's not as bad here as it is in the muggle world."

She shook her head, though managed to pry the pillow away. With a deep inhale, she forced herself to look into Dorcas's eyes, throwing any caution to the wind. "It isn't just that. Am I not...am I not bad, for fancying more than one person?"

Dorcas shrugged. "I wouldn't call you a bad person for it, no. We're teenagers. We have hormones. Most of us will fuck anything that moves. Besides, can anyone with eyes blame you? Everyone you've been ogling are gorgeous."

She exhaled a breath, not quite relieved, but the smallest of weights had been lifted off of her shoulders.

"You'll probably have to pick sooner or later, though," she continued, giving her a small smile as she spoke. "I don't think Sirius or Remus are the types to stick around and wait for you to decide between them. Not to mention..."

When Dorcas's words trailed off, Lux lifted her eyebrows. "Not to mention what?"

She bit down on the side of her cheek, considering her next words. "It really isn't my business to be sharing."

Lux gave her an irritated look, stomach giddy with nerves. Was this...gossip? Was she having her first ever gossip session? "You can't just drop half a bombshell and then walk away! Come on, I'm suffering here!"

Exhaling a breath, it was Dorcas's turn to shove her face into a pillow, letting out an annoyed shriek, before pulling herself back out again. "Right. You can't tell anyone I told you this. Got it?"

Lux nodded eagerly.

"I'm like...almost completely sure those two have a thing for each other."

"Those two...as in Remus and Sirius?"

She nodded, cheeks burning red.

"You can't be serious."

"I am, I swear it." Dorcas rushed off of her bed in favor of climbing onto Lux's, grabbing onto her hands. "Please don't tell anyone I said anything! I'd be in such trouble if this got out because of me."

"I won't say anything," she assured her. "Why do you think they fancy each other?"

She shrugged. "Just...a lot of little things. Stolen glances. Little fights with more tension than there should be. Besides, everyone knows Sirius fancies blokes and women, and Remus isn't exactly fitting the heterosexual stereotypes. I honestly thought he was gay, until I noticed how he looked at you."

Lux gulped, momentarily tongue tied. "He looks at me a special way?"

Dorcas nodded, brown eyes alight. "Like he wants to eat you alive, honestly."

She wasn't sure if that was supposed to be a good or a bad thing, and opted against questioning it. Instead, she asked, "Who do you fancy, then? Since we're going on about everyone else's love life."

Her eyes widened in what appeared to be shock. "Well, that's surprising."

Lux frowned. "What is?"

"I didn't think you cared one way or another about this sort of gossip, but you just asked me who I fancy. That's the most teen girl thing I've ever heard."

Her frown increased, a silent question written into her expression.

"You just...always struck me as an older soul," Dorcas continued her explanation, moving so her legs were crossed like a pretzel. "Not into these sorts of things. It's cool, knowing you aren't as high strung as I assumed."

Part of Lux wondered if she was supposed to be offended, but she opted not to be. Instead, the smallest of smiles slid onto her lips. "You're dodging my question. If you get to know about Lily...and Sirius and Remus, then I get to know whoever it is that you're into."

With the roll of her eyes, Dorcas let out a sigh. "You might not know him. He's a Ravenclaw. Benjy Fenwick."

She thought, then shook her head. "I don't talk to any Ravenclaws."

"He's awful nice," Dorcas said with a smile. "I reckon he might fancy me back as well. He asked me to go to Hogsmeade with him this weekend."

"Sirius asked me to go with him," Lux admitted, grinning as well at the idea.

"Well, look at us, getting the men we want." Dorcas squeezed down on her hands, giving her a bright beam as she did, though it faded as a few seconds went by. "I am sorry about Lily, though. Even if you don't think you have a right to be hurt over it, you do. You're allowed to feel how you feel."

She shook her head, though the reminder of what had sparked their conversation in the first place had something in her chest cracking ever so slightly. "I can fancy more than one person, but when Lily fancies someone that isn't me, I can be upset?"

"You're allowed to feel your feelings," Dorcas insisted. "As long as you recognize it isn't a fault on Lily's end."

"I know that. She's entitled to do whatever she wants with whomever she wants. I would never want to make her feel obligated to be with me. I don't even think she fancies me back."

At this, she scoffed. "Oh, please. You're all the girl talks about. Every other sentence with Marlene and Mary and I is 'have you seen Lux?' or 'didn't Lux look nice today?' or 'I hope Lux is at dinner tonight'. Honestly, she's obsessed with you."

A furious blush crept across Lux's cheeks.

"You should talk to her," Dorcas suggested. "Lily values honesty above all else. Even if things don't go the way you want them to, she'll be receptive to you reaching out about your feelings."

"I'm not talking to her about this," she insisted, shaking her head rapidly at the mere thought of it. "I can't. I've never even...I didn't even know I fancied girls until I met her. I might not even like girls as a whole. What if I'm just confused? What if it's just her, and never anyone else?"

She shrugged. "I don't think it's confusion. But honestly, what does it matter? You feel how you feel now. Maybe it'll change, maybe it won't."

"It doesn't matter," Lux agreed. "Which is why I shouldn't talk to her about it."

"Lux..."

"I'm going to Hogsmeade with Sirius anyways," she reasoned, stiffening her posture. "It's not like I've been rejected all out. I have Sirius, even if it feels a bit...fucked up of me."

"If you're sure," Dorcas began, exhaling a breath through her nose. "You're not a bad person, Lux. I know you're thinking that. But you're not. It's okay to explore. It's okay to be confused. Whatever you're feeling, it's okay. We're all young, and still figuring things out."

She wasn't quite sure she believed Dorcas's words, but she smiled at her anyways, the smallest twitch of her lips in the girl's direction. Only when Dorcas was rising back onto her feet and walking back to her bed did she call out, "Goodnight, Dorcas. And...thank you."

Something in her eyes seemed to sparkle. "Anytime."