WILD & WICKED / © yllwjckts
008 ⸻ The Games We Play

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .*:☆ﾟ. ───

September 7th, 1977 ✦ Hogwarts

The sound of sharp pounding on wood jolted Lux out of her slumber, so loud and sudden that she nearly fell out of the wooden chair she was lounged upon. All of her bones ached, her stomach clenched with hunger and her eyes struggled to adjust to the bright light that peaked through the window, a signal that the morning sun was upon them.

"What is it?" Lux groaned, pushing herself onto her feet and finding herself thankful she didn't fall over in the way she expected she might, considering the wavering in her legs. She wasn't sure exactly the period of time she'd been asleep for, but her body felt as though it hadn't been used for months, limbs screaming in agony as she stretched them out.

Fulk, who was at his desk, rose to his feet the moment he saw she was walking. But he didn't tell her to take it easy as she expected, instead, he shoved past her and opened the door before she could get to it.

She peered around Fulk, frowning as she spotted Sirius, Remus, James and Peter all hovering behind the now open door, each of them wearing a different expression. Sirius was hopeful, Remus was annoyed, James was apprehensive, and Peter appeared to be all three at the same time, wringing his hands together and staring down at the ground.

"Luxie!" Sirius cried out when his eyes settled on her, practically shoving Fulk to the side as he rushed up to her. His arms found their place around her waist, and she was pulled into a tight embrace before she could comprehend what was occurring.

"What-" She began, but he cut her off by squeezing down on her.

"We thought you were dead!" He cried.

"No one thought you were dead," Remus corrected from behind him, shifting his weight.

"James did," Peter said, then winced when James elbowed him in the side. "He and Sirius were going to hold a funeral for you."

"You've known me for a week," Lux wheezed as Sirius let go, struggling for breath. "Why would you mourn?"

"Why wouldn't we?" Sirius gasped, holding a hand to his heart. "You're an honorary Marauder, my dear Luxie."

"She is not," Remus cut in with a protest, but no one paid him any mind.

"If you had left this earthly realm before your time-" Sirius began, causing a snort from Fulk, who was watching the event go down with passive amusement, "-we would mourn for the rest of our lives. First, we would begin with a mandatory forty five day period of all black clothes-"

"Oh my God," Remus groaned, running his hands through his hair.

"You have a problem with my style of mourning, Moony?" Sirius shot him a playful stare. "Just because you're a heartless grump doesn't mean we all are."

"I just don't see why we had to get up at six in the morning to make sure she's alive is all," he waved a hand towards Lux, who rolled her eyes in begrudging agreement. "If a student had died, I think we would've been informed. She was clearly fine."

"She was throwing up blood," James added with uncertainty. "And she was unconscious for an entire day."

Lux whipped around to stare at Fulk. "I was?"

He lifted his shoulders in an absentminded shrug. "You needed the rest, clearly. You're fine now, so evidentially it worked."

She let out an agitated breath, but couldn't protest his words.

"They were knocking on the door just about every hour throughout the day yesterday," he continued, and Sirius and the other three did not dismiss the claim, "If that didn't wake you, you must've really been out of it."

"Throwing up blood will do that to you, I suppose," James commented, grimacing at the memory.

"It can't have been that bad," Remus let out a breath, eying Lux up and down as though expecting her to somehow prove him wrong.

"I'll leave you to go get caught up with your friends," Fulk announced, stiffening his posture and adjusting his robes. "I must be off for breakfast in the Great Hall. My colleagues must be wondering where I'd gone off to."

Lux's eyes widened, a protest catching in her throat. But it was too late. When he stalked out of his office, shutting the door behind him and abandoning Lux with the four boys, the only sound was Peter whispering loudly, "He eats? I thought he and Lux just photosynthesized."

"They aren't plants, Wormy," Remus nudged him with his elbow, rolling his eyes. "Besides, she wouldn't have thrown up if she didn't eat. Assuming James wasn't being dramatic."

"It doesn't matter what really happened," she said firmly, folding her arms over her chest. "I'm fine now. I just need to...get myself looking presentable, and I can go back to my dorms. I didn't miss anything of importance, did I?"

"Mulciber is in the Hospital Wing with a broken nose and a bruised cock," James offered with a shrug. "Wouldn't say what happened, so you're in the clear for your fight. He probably didn't want to admit he nearly got his balls crushed by a girl."

Remus coughed, as Sirius let out a laugh, booming off of the stone walls.

"What was the fight about, anyways?" Sirius inquired. "It's been the topic of conversation between us since James informed us of your malady."

"He set my parchment on fire, so I punched him," Lux explained in as little detail as she could.

Sirius rolled his grey eyes. "Well we know that, but why'd he do it?"

She shrugged. "Ask him. He's the pyromaniac, not me. Hopefully that's the last thing he sets on fire for now, anyways."

Peter let out a nervous squeak.

"Lily's been asking about you," James said when it was evident she didn't wish to continue on the subject. Lily, however, she preferred the discussion of Mulciber to. "She'd been worried sick."

"Worried enough to give Prongs the time of day," Sirius jested with an elbow into James's side.

"She always gives me the time of day!" James protested.

"Quit lying to yourself, mate," Remus sighed, for once appearing more exasperated than agitated. "She has been worried, though. She wanted to come with us to see you but had loads of homework to catch up on, but we promised to go fetch her if you were awake."

"How does one manage to sleep for over a day?" Peter inquired, frowning. "That sounds awful difficult."

"You tell us, Pete, you're the one who's been sleeping in half the days. On Thursday, James thought you were dead in that thing you call a bed," Sirius said, causing the boy to go pale.

"And why'd you leave Pomfrey?" James pressed.

Her mouth went dry. In truth, she could hardly remember anything after her head slamming against that stone floor, just bits and pieces of pain and fire and the burning in her body when she's swallowed that potion from both agony and panic. "My father is a much better caretaker. I trust him."

While she didn't mean to suggest she didn't trust Madam Pomfrey, she didn't bother lying by changing her words, leaving an odd silence in the air as they accepted what she fully meant.

"Pomfrey's nice," James attempted to reason. "Really, I know she's a bit rough around the edges, but trust me, if you're sick, she's the place to go. Nothing against Professor Ingelger, of course."

"He's got a nice office," Sirius added with a grin. "Very cool. Like a sort of secret lair."

"Fulk Ingelger, Professor by day, secret agent by night," James said, before frowning. "What do professors even do when they aren't teaching? Where do they sleep?"

"Wouldn't know," Lux shrugged. "Ask my father, not me."

"We should get going," Peter prompted, jittering slightly. "I feel weird, being in a Professor's office without said professor being with us."

"Yes, we can get Luxie back to her Lilypad."

Lux had no words to protest this.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .*:☆ﾟ. ───

"Lux! You're back!"

She was practically crushed into a massive hug when she entered the dorm room, all that crossed her vision being a flash of red before arms were squeezing down on her.

"Yeah..." She managed to wheeze, and Lily promptly let go of her with an apologetic grimace.

"Sorry," she let out a gentle, breathy laugh. "I just missed you."

"I was gone for a day," Lux said, unconvinced.

Lily gave her a sheepish smile. "Well, yeah, but...it felt odd. I've gotten used to your company."

The corners of Lux's lips twitched upwards in the first semblance of a smile she'd had since waking up an hour prior. "I hope I didn't miss much."

"Not much at all," Lily answered. "Marlene's off practicing for Quidditch - they don't even have practice scheduled today, so I guess she's just hitting bludgers around like a bloody maniac, and Mary and Dorcas are studying in the library."

"And you're...here?"

"Sure am." She beamed. "I was going to go ask Professor McGonagall a few homework questions, but I figured I'd do it after you came back. Would you care to come with?"

She nearly said yes. Nearly forgot herself, what she was, and the million reasons she had to stay far away from Lily Evans. Those boys, they could be collateral damage if push came to shove. But something in her ached for Lily in a way she knew it ought not to, a way that had her head shaking no even as her heart begged her to say yes.

"I have to shower. Get presentable. I'm still looking awful, I imagine," she answered, struggling to maintain a straight face as Lily's smile faded.

But in as swift of a motion as it had left, it returned, revealing her shiny white teeth. "Right. Well, see you!"

The shower felt like nails on skin. She could've spent all day in it.

After spending an hour scrubbing down her body of the dirt she felt caked to her body and dressing into a clean set of robes, Lux found her stomach ached from lack of blood in the time she'd been asleep.

No doubt Fulk was still with the rest of staff, entertaining them with his natural gifts at socializing. Lux had never had his knack for communication, even in the Coven. She'd thought herself an artist when it came to the art of speaking, and perhaps she knew when to withhold herself, but it was much easier to please with silence than with words. Now, when posed with so many people who wished for so many different things from her, she wasn't sure how to manage.

She'd have the forest to herself, though, something that both struck interest and nerves in her.

Sucking in a breath, she gathered her thoughts and focused them on dispelling any anxieties of what could happen, of centaurs and werewolves and giant spiders. All bigger than her, all fair fights against a vampire, yes, but none of those would linger in the daytime. The sun, which had once been her biggest vice, was now her strongest shield.

Her shoulders were pushed back as she stalked out of the dorms, ignoring that burning fire in the corner of the common room in the process. Only when she was nearing the back entrance to Hogwarts did she stop, not by her own volition, but when a hand slammed onto her shoulder.

Lux jumped, whipping around as she reached into her pocket and pulled out her wand, only to find the tip was aimed directly at the forehead of Severus Snape.

She kept her wand in place, just as he kept his stance. For a moment, they simply stared at each other, daring the other to speak.

"What do you want?" She demanded, opting for a confrontation over the unbearable tension the silence added to.

"I wanted to talk to you." Despite his subtle trembling, Lux had to give him credit where credit was due for not breaking eye contact for even a second.

She lowered her wand, keeping her grip around the base of it as she set her arm back at her side. "About?"

"Mulciber."

Her eyes narrowed in on the boy, his greasy hair and too tight robes. "You seem to be awful close with him. Are you his messenger now?"

"Never said that." The boy's large nose twitched. "He's close enough to tell me his plans, but...my loyalties aren't to him."

"Loyalties?" She scoffed despite the sinking in her stomach. "What is this?"

"A warning," Snape said plainly. "Mulciber's got one tiny reason to be unhappy with you, if you understand what I mean."

This time, Lux couldn't help it. An actual laugh escaped her.

It felt good to laugh, yet so very wrong. Like something foreign had ripped itself from her throat.

Snape watched in what appeared to be shock as she collected herself, inhaling a breath and reverting herself back to her original state.

"You're funny," Lux admitted with a patronizing smile. "And I appreciate the warning. But I'm not scared of Mulciber."

"You should be," Snape insisted, posture stiffening. Hers did as well. If Snape, who sent her stomach into nervous jumbles, could admit that Mulciber was terrifying, she most certainly had reason enough to be wary of him.

"I was able to figure out what happened between you guys," he explained with a vague, dismissive way of his hand. "He went to the Hospital Wing that night. Not as a patient though. He only claimed to need attention on his nether region when Pomfrey caught him snooping around the beds, looking for someone."

The churning in her stomach increased. "He wanted to murder me in my sleep, then?"

He shrugged. "Probably not murder, just play a cruel trick. Light your blankets on fire or something of the sorts. I couldn't gather the details. Either way, he's got an eye on you now. You'd do well to be careful."

She wished she could appreciate the warning for what it was, but Lux was no fool. Boys like Snape didn't help girls like Lux without an ulterior motive hidden up their sleeves. "If Mulciber is so dangerous, then why are you going against him to help me?"

"Can't I just be a good person?"

"No."

Snape clicked his tongue. "Fair enough."

Her eyebrows curved upwards. "Tell me what you want. Don't dance around it like you have been. I don't appreciate mind games."

"I don't want anything," Snape admitted with a huff that told her he was speaking the truth, and that something far more embarrassing would follow soon. "I just want on your good side."

"Because of Lily?"

He blinked once, then twice. "What?"

"Something happened between you two. The tension whenever you're near each other is thick enough to bite."

"She hates me," he answered, releasing a breath. "But this has little to do with her. I...I know what you are. Sure, Mulciber might be fucking psychotic, but he's less likely to rip my throat open and eat me for dinner."

She paused, for a moment, her mind blank as she struggled to retain his words.

Despite the way her heart clenched in her chest, stomach aching as though she'd swallowed something nasty, she forced the most casual, the most uncaring of smiles as she met the dark abyss that were his eyes with her own, making herself keep eye contact even as she felt her skin burn up. "I could kill you."

She wanted to tell herself it was a lie, that she would never dare lay a hand on a boy who hadn't posed any actual physical threat to her, but the racing of her dead heart and the jittering of her skin suggested otherwise. Lux was just as aware of the danger she posed as Snape was when he gave her a knowing nod.

"I know."

The time for being sly was over. It clearly had as little effect on Snape as his attempts to play coy had to her. With a snarl, she reached over, grabbing onto the collar of his too-tight robes and pulled him close enough that he could hear her snarling whisper, "You'd do well to keep your mouth shut."

Despite being inches away from the fangs of a vampire, the fangs that had ripped out too many throats to count, Snape kept his chin held high. He knew he was exposed, he knew he could be killed in an instant, but his composure was kept nevertheless. "Who would I tell? Dumbledore already knows."

"You're loyal to Dumbledore, then?"

"I never said that," Snape said, his unbothered gaze flickering between where she held his collar up, and her own eyes. "Let me go."

She did.

She hadn't taken a direct order like that since the days of the Coven.

"Tell me what you know," she commanded, voice coming out unsteady.

If he noticed this, he made no sign of it. His expression remained neutral as he readjusted his collar. "Enough."

"Quit the fucking mind games."

Snape let out a scoff, for the first time a hint of amusement shone across his pale face. "It's all a game though, isn't it? All of us, we're on one giant chessboard, being moved around by forces out of our control. But you and me have learned the forces, learned to mess with their minds and move their hands elsewhere. That's how you've lived as long as you have, and that's how I'm going to stay alive in this war. Your friends? Potter and Black and the other two, they're going to die. You know that as well as I do. But we're smarter than they ever will be."

There was little chance of Severus Snape knowing about Philip, and if he did, the abuse she suffered under his hand would've still been impossible for him to be aware of, yet her mind jumped to the vampire first, clinging to the memory of him. The memory of Elias, bleeding out in front of her. He too had been a pawn of her own creation, unknowing as he moved about the board, going exactly where she willed him to.

Lux had only realized this after he'd been murdered. Her hands were just as complicit in his end as Philip's had been.

"You think you understand the games we play? The figures behind us? You think you know power, Snape? You haven't a fucking clue."

"Clearly I know more than you," he said with a gentle, unassuming shrug, as casual as one might have when discussing the weather. Her fingers clenched into fists. "If you could see what was right in front of you, you'd see I'm just as useful an ally to you as you are to me."

"Prove it."

"I already have."

When he walked away, Lux made no effort to stop him, watching as the boy turned the corner and vanished from her blurry vision. Even so, she stood there for a long while, having forgotten why she was in the hallway in the first place.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .*:☆ﾟ. ───

September 10th, 1977 ✦ Hogwarts

"You look ill," Lily commented from above the essay she was mulling over, eying Lux with concern. She was laying on her own bed, absentmindedly flipping through a textbook as she struggled to retain the information being flung her way from the words spilled on the old paper.

"I'm fine," Lux insisted. "I'm just tired."

Mary was with her boyfriend of the week, a boy called Dirk Cresswell, and Marlene and Dorcas had Quidditch practice, leaving Lux alone in the dorm with the redhead girl. They'd spent over an hour in a calming silence as they went over their own homework, and she hadn't a clue why Lily had decided to break it.

"You've been acting odd for a over a week," she insisted, rising from her own bed and moving onto her bare feet. After padding across the space that separated their beds, she nudged towards the empty space on her blankets. "May I?"

She hadn't the heart in her to say no, even if her mind was screaming at her to do so. Instead, Lux gave her a brisk nod, moving ever so slightly to the right, as to increase the distance between them when Lily sat down.

"History of Magic," Lily commented, reading over the textbook. "I hate that class."

"It's easy."

She cocked her head to the side. "Then why do you look prepared to chuck your textbook across the room?"

"I have a headache," Lux shrugged from her position, resting atop her stomach with her legs kicked in the air. It wasn't entirely a lie - she got headaches quite often, and was never sure of the origin. Stress was likely the cause of this one; her classes over the past three days had been busy avoiding an ever growing list of people. Snape was now at the top of her list, followed by Mulciber, Lily, and James Potter.

Luckily, Snape had made no further attempts at communication with her, sticking to himself as he seemed to typically do. Now that she observed him more, it didn't seem like he had many friends, if any. Just perhaps an ally or two in the names of Mulciber and Rosier - another Slytherin boy with wild eyes and a fascination with tripping younger students in the halls.

She'd considering telling Fulk, but something had tied her tongue in two when it came down to it. Of course, Fulk had noticed the apprehension swarming within her, but never pressed the subject when she made it clear she wished not to speak of it.

"Do you think it's related to your concussion?"

"Doubtful," Lux mused, not looking up from her book. Vampires healed faster than humans, so she presumed that head injury was on its way out the door, if it hadn't fully fixed itself already.

For a long moment, Lily was silent. Then, with a hint of hurt in her tone, she asked, "Did I do something?"

She blinked, for the first time looking up to meet her green eyes. "What do you mean?"

Lily exhaled a breath. "I mean, we met and we were fine, and then you've started pushing me away all of a sudden. Did I do something to offend you?"

It was Lux's turn to be quiet. She wanted to say yes, that Lily had offended her, if only to get her off her back. But no matter how hard she thought, she couldn't come up with a single thing Lily had done to use as an excuse.

"No," she eventually admitted, gulping.

"I like you, Lux," Lily reached over to grab onto Lux's hands.

Her heart stopped somewhere in between when Lily's words were spoken, and when her hands clasped around hers.

With a gentle squeeze, she continued, "I want to get to know you. But if you don't, just...tell me, so I don't get the wrong idea. I don't want to pursue something that isn't going to happen."

"Get to know me..." Lux repeated, mouth dry.

"Like...friends," Lily offered.

"Right." She forced a smile, though as she did, she could tell it failed to meet her eyes. Again, that voice in the back of her head rang, a repeated calling telling her over and over in a monotonous, almost bored tone, that she didn't deserve Lily. She'd get her hurt, just as Elias had.

The harder she listened to it, the more it began to sound like the voice of Mary Erzsebet.

But as true as it was, she was running out of excuses to blow her off, and with a confrontation in her face, there was no real way out, short of confessing her entire life story.

Taking a deep breath, Lux blurted out, "I'm sorry. I've been...standoffish, at best."

"It's alright." Lily gave her hands another squeeze. "I understand it must be hard for you, adjusting to this place after years of it being just you and Professor Ingelger. But for the most part, everyone here is really nice. You've just got to let us in."

"What about Severus Snape?"

She hadn't been thinking when she proposed the question, and regretted it the moment a flicker of pain crossed Lily's expression. Her hands, which had been clenching down tight on Lux's, retreated back to her sides. "Why are you asking me about Snape?"

"I've seen how you two interact," she tried to fumble an excuse, shifting her position so she was sitting as well. Deciding to be more truthful, she continued, "And...I get nervous, when he's around. Something feels off about him."

"He's harmless," Lily attempted to argue, though it fell flat. "I mean, he wouldn't hurt someone. Not if it really, truly came down to it, I don't think. Severus is not...he's not dangerous. He's just an arsehole, who's gotten involved with the wrong sort of crowd. Mulciber, Rosier, Avery, you know those boys. I don't know why he bothers with them, if I'm being honest. They're awful to him."

"And what happened with you two?"

"What do you mean?" She asked, though her high pitched tone of voice gave everything away even as she played clueless. Exhaling a deep breath as Lux gave her a knowing look, she continued, "Severus and I were best friends growing up. He lived just down the road. We met when we were eight."

When Lily went silent, Lux raised her eyebrows. "And?"

"You really never let up, do you?" Lily rolled her eyes.

It took everything in her not to recoil. "You don't have to tell me if you don't want to."

"It's just painful to think about. Lux, I really cared for him, really. I tried so bloody hard to stick by him and help him see that the shit he was getting into, the beliefs of his friends, that they were fucked up. But he wouldn't see reason."

"Voldemort, you mean?"

She nodded. "He was doomed the moment he got sorted into Slytherin, I suppose. All the boys in his year are blood supremacists, worshipping that Voldemort guy alongside their parents, and Severus was around them more than me. And it didn't help that James Potter and his friends treated him like shit. They're were bullies. Still are sometimes."

"I thought you liked James."

"I tolerate him," she clarified. "More so now that I'm not friends with Severus. James...he helped me out, a lot, after Sev and I stopped talking. I still think he's an arsehole, of course, but...he's better than I gave him credit for."

"Do you think you'll...?" Lux trailed off, struggling to find the words.

Lily raised her eyebrows.

She gulped, finally settling on a pathetic sounding, "...have a romantic relationship with James?"

"Maybe," Lily admitted with the shrug of her shoulders, and Lux felt her heart fall to her stomach. "Again, he's much more of a gentleman than I gave him credit for. I do like him, really. Even kind of fancy him, if I'm being honest."

Lux exhaled a breath, hoping Lily didn't notice the tremor within it. "Right."

"But," Lily continued. "I'm not sure. Have you ever...have you ever felt like something was so very right, but nearly everyone around you would disagree? Think it's wrong? Detest you for it, even?"

She nearly laughed at the question, only just managing to hold her amusement back. If only Lily knew, the so very perfect taste of blood compared with the knowledge of how brutal it truly was to consume. For Lux to live in comfort, blood must be spilled, throats must be punctured, veins split in two. There weren't many things more vile than the act of feeding off of someone else's life force to fuel your own.

But Lux knew the redhead wasn't referring to vampirism.

She maintained a neutral expression as her cold, dead heart fluttered back to life. "Suppose so."

"I-" Lily began, lips parting as Lux waited for her to elaborate, but she'd never find out for sure what it was she wished to say.

The door to their dorm had swung wide open, with Marlene and Dorcas sauntering inside, both covered in glistening sweat and bright smiles.

Lux jerked away from Lily, practically scampering to the edge of her bed.

"Hey," Dorcas greeted the pair with a nod, not picking up on the odd behavior. Upon the greeting, Marlene abandoned the grip she had on her friend's arm as she shot into the bathroom, where moments later, Lux could hear the sound of running water.

"Did I miss anything?" Dorcas asked, plopping onto her own bed with her arms spread out in evident exhaustion. Her breath was heavy, and her dark cheeks painted pink from overexertion. But neither Lux or Lily were given an opportunity to answer, as she began a tangent about how insufferable James Potter was as Quidditch Captain. Apparently, he was a brutal dictator, hellbent on destroying their spirits.

Lux almost found amusement in this, the concept of James Potter being anything but his oddly kind self. Only when she realized Dorcas was inadvertently describing Philip did she find a shiver running down her spine, any light thoughts on the matter vanishing.

"You can't date him, Lils, you can't," Dorcas ended her rant with a plea, of which Lily frowned to.

"I wasn't planning on it."

Lux perked up.

"Good," Dorcas exhaled. "He's literally insufferable. You'd be better off marrying Pettigrew than Ponce Potter."

"Ponce Potter?" Lily let out a laugh. "Honestly, Dorcas, he can't be that bad. Besides, Peter's a sweetheart too."

She waved a dismissive hand.

"I'm too young for marriage anyways. I have a lot of life left to life before I settle down."

"Right you are." Dorcas turned her head to Lux. "What about you, Erzsebet? You settling down anytime soon? Seems like Black has his eye on you, now that he's over Lockhart."

So it wasn't an open secret. Sirius's sexuality was known by everyone, including one Dorcas Meadows, who Lux had never seen the boy talk to before.

She didn't know what to make of it.

"I have no intention of marrying Sirius Black."

"Anyone else on your mind, then?" Dorcas pressed.

"Leave her alone," Lily threw a pillow at her. "You know she's shy!"

The moment Marlene was out of the bathroom, Lux rushed in before Dorcas could snag the opportunity, shutting and locking the door behind her. The girl called out a protest, but she paid no mind, turning on the fan and drowning out any sounds other than the blood rushing in her ears.

She bathed in water as frigid as ice, not leaving the tub until her skin was red and raw from the endless scrubbing.

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