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It was all white noise and flashy images. The adrenaline pumping through his veins was the only thing that was keeping Ash from fainting. (That, and his endless devotion to Stiles. Plus Malia probably could've carried him bridal style if he was happen to faint and that was a relief.)

His mind was almost trying to give him a hard time by wandering inside the depths of it, bringing images from his past when he used to do running. When he used to be free from this place. When he used to run as free as a wild animal, when he attended competitions and he would know his parents and Clark and Clark's parents would be cheering for him. When Clark was still alive-

"Stiles, wake up!" Ash rushed towards the boy that was lying unconscious on the floor with a pained expression on his face. It was such a relief to see Stiles alive and hopefully, he was still Stiles. (It was such a relief that he was free from the torture of his past as well He welcomed the distraction.)

His knees almost gave out with the sudden joy he was feeling and he practically threw himself right next to Stiles, while Malia was watching over for any guards or nurses. Grabbing him by his shirt, Ash started to shake Stiles not very gently, repeating his name over and over again to bring him back.

The joy from reaching Stiles was about to vanish by each second passing, worry was starting to get ahold of him again. Ash was so high on adrenaline that he was taken aback by the way Stiles jolted upwards. The sudden motion left Ash with a thumping heart while Stiles starting gasping desperately to suck air in to his lungs. Stiles' long fingers tugged on Ash shirt as if he had to hold on to something. Ash understood the feeling and held him with both hands by the shoulders and tried to ground Stiles with his presence. And for a brief moment Stiles was star struck, staring in to his eyes, he seemed relieved to see Ash out of all people.

"How did you get in here?" Stiles spoke, he was still panting for air, Ash was able to feel how fast his heart was beating as he moved one of his hands to Stiles' chest without thinking about it, holding him close.

Oddly, Stiles hadn't let him go either. Ash was too numb to feel nervous or excited about it after coming down from the stress of it all. Seeing Stiles as himself and relatively well (he still had black rings under his eyes, he was still thinner than he used to be, his eyes still looked sad.) Ash wanted to stay close like that for a minute. To catch his breath. To ease him mind.

"I broke the lock," said Malia. Ash blinked a few times and threw a glance over his shoulder and saw Malia with a proud smile on her face as she stood by the door step. "Let's go."

"There's another way to the basement," Ash crumbled away from Stiles as swiftly as possible and stood up by taking strength from his arms. Sticking his hand to help Stiles up to his feet, he continued to explain. "Through the Closed Unit. Where they keep very, very scary people."

Clearly Stiles was shaken up by the dream he had, blood was drained out of his face and cold sweats were visible on his forehead. The traumatized look was not helping how exhausted he already was either. Although he managed to nod in agreement and followed Ash and Malia through the corridors.

Malia kept them company for a few minutes, until she was sure they would reach to the basement without obstacles. "I should head back. They'll keep an eye on me after Oliver and all. I'll try to cover up for you," Malia stated methodically. Ash was proud of her and how she was handling this impossible situation this calm and focused. "Take care of each other."

Stiles hummed in agreement while Ash smiled brightly before giving a quick hug to the werecoyote. "Only because I promised a hug each day. Don't get used to it-"

"I know. Stay safe."

Malia smirked and turned on her heels, jogging towards the opposite direction, leaving the two boys all alone in under the dim light of the creepy room.

With cautious steps Stiles stepped further in to the basement, Ash followed his footsteps with equal carefulness. Judging by the curious gaze on Stiles' face, he was not sure whether this was the place he had dreamt about when he was sleeping or not. On the other hand Ash knew they were at the right place and it made him feel terrified, his breath quickened as the image of Stiles being in pain flashed through his mind.

"Are you alright?" Stiles' fingers brushed past his upper arm which made him jump a little.

He quickly shook his head as yes to assure Stiles that he was okay. His heart got a little bit warmer since Stiles was able to understand he was in distress so easily. "Just a bit terrified, I guess. A little,"Ash let out a nervous chuckle which sounded like a mixture of a sob and chocking.

"Come on, I am half demon now. Technically. No one can hurt us." Stiles made a serious expression which Ash assumed he was trying to pull an evil face but Ash thought Stiles never could look scary with that innocent aura.

He kept his thoughts to himself and smiled briefly, his smile got wider and his heart probably skipped a beat when Stiles took his hands in his, locking their fingers with a swift move. Ash didn't do anything to oppose and went with it as Stiles gave a little squeeze and continued on walking further in to the room.

In all honesty, it did help when Stiles was holding his hand.

"Is it what we are looking for?" Ash pointed at the mark on the wall, narrowing his eyes on the odd shape.

Making their ways towards the wall Stiles released their hands which made Ash miss the contact, long for the touch. Quickly shaking the feeling off, Ash ran his fingers on the mark. "Self," he muttered faintly.

"It still surprises me every time you know something that you shouldn't," Stiles took a step back with a frown on his face which was confusing to Ash. Did he say something wrong?

Just as he was about to answer him Stiles returned back to wandering inside the room. Following the taller boy around until they were both sure that there wasn't anything useful, Stiles threw himself on the couch with a huff, sitting his head in his hands. Ash sat next to him, forcing himself to keep his mouth shut because he felt like Stiles needed a moment of silence.

"Why aren't you afraid of me?" Stiles spoke slowly once he was ready and his voice was weak. Ash's nose wrinkled in confusion as he watched Stiles' moves closely and realized that he was avoiding the eye contact.

"Why would I be?" Ash asked sounding genuinely curios.

In return Stiles sighed a bit dramatically and turned his body facing Ash but he was still not looking at him in the eye. "I did things- things that keep me up at night. Haunts my dreams. I killed all those people and- and tortured my best friend," There was a small pause as he let out a shaky breath while Ash tried to get rid of those images in his head.

"I meant when I said it, Stiles. That was not you. I know you could never hurt someone deliberately," Ash came closer to him and placed his hands on his without thinking it through. "When you are reading a book, you never love the perfect character, right? Or in a movie, at least in my opinion, everyone should have their flaws. That what makes them lovable and realistic."

"Well, I am not a character, no one's gonna like me despise my flaws."

"I did," Ash answered in an instant and Stiles finally raised his chin and met with his gaze, it was as if he was trying to understand whether Ash was being serious or not. Slowly his tense jaw relaxed and he wore a softer expression his lips curving in to a small smile. "In fact, I'd to admit that I idolized you too much. You, Scott, Lydia and everyone else, you guys were my heroes. I almost forgot you're real people."

"And now?"

"It's leaves me at awe every time I realize you are not a character. That makes all of your sacrifices, mistakes even more valuable. I never blamed you for anything. You should know how much you mean to me and your friends. We need you, I need you to trust yourself so we can get through this."

Ash felt his face heating up as he looked down with a sly smile, he could see the content look on Stiles' face and everything felt surreal at that moment. When he looked up, he came across with Stiles gaze on himself, studying him closely as if he was a mystery to be solved.

In that moment Ash wanted to kiss him, Stiles breath was washing away his features and he was starring in to his piercing blue eyes as if he was asking a question. A part of him really wanted to lean in and close the unnecessary gap between them but his mind was coming up with millions of reason why he shouldn't.

The need was almost painful.

Stiles was so hesitant and he had never looked that fragile to Ash's eyes. It didn't contradicted with Stiles' strong personality, if anything Ash was amazed how brave he was to show his fears.

"Can I kiss you?" Oh god. Did he ask that? Ash was able to feel his face was turning in to a shade of crimson, his voice sounded foreign to his own ears.

"I... I'm not sure if it's the right time-"

"If you want to, it's the right time."

Ash's cheeks were heating up and his voice was gentle as he slightly put a distance between him and Stiles. If he had to be true to himself, Stiles was right, this was not the right time or the place. However, it also couldn't be better than this moment since this moment, they existed together. With everything on their plate now, life seemed like a precious gift and the end was just so inevitable.

Ash wanted to have this moment because a part of him knew that he might not get the chance. He was also scared, no, terrified that what he was asking could hurt Stiles. Deep down, Ash just didn't want to push Stiles into anything, he just wanted to be there for him.

So held his breath, seconds felt like hours, his blood thrumming inside his ears, his heart beating insanely fast. Worries, fears and regrets started to take over him. He forgot how to properly breathe.

Until his lips met with his.

Ash's eyes widened in shock since Stiles had almost launched himself on him but his movements were gentle. His hand on Ash's leg was soft, his other hand was placed on Ash's and everywhere he touched felt like it was on fire. The kiss itself was almost chaste and Ash remembered to close his eyes a few seconds later.

When Stiles pulled back he had a bashful smile on his face and Ash was just overwhelmed with everything he was feeling. He was happy and mesmerized, those feelings were tainted with guilt since the outside world was just around the corner, but he warmth he was feeling inside his heart was worth everything.

"Can I hold you for now?"

Stiles raised his brows in surprise but it wasn't his usual sarcastic expression. His face had a touch of softness on it now and for a second Ash was able to ignore how exhausted he looked.

He hadn't realized he had been holding his breath (again) until Stiles shook his head in agreement and his cheeks were dusted with pink.

Ash gasped a little in surprise when Stiles moved closer, he didn't resist the gentle fingers that were cupping his chin and he looked up. His blue eyes met with Stiles' hazel ones. Even too afraid to blink, Ash stared in to them, he found some type of compassion inside Stiles' sparkling eyes.

Just as he remembered. Just as he imagined, they were full of life, his eyes were like an opening to something complex. As a child Ash always loved doing puzzles and solving problems. At that particular moment Ash understood why he got a soft spot for that pale human; he saw the flawed personality, admired how beautifully mend he was.

"I'd love that." Stiles smiled brightly, even though Ash was having a hard time at focusing because Stiles' breath was washing his features away, he was able to see the dark circles under the boy's eyes.

Writing about his pain and knowing exactly what he went through did not comprehend the moment of realization, actually seeing him up close was much more different. His light brown hair was not just messy like his usual; it was tight in knots because Ash knew Stiles tugged on them a lot when he was trying to think. All the details, they were overwhelming him.The need of sleep were written all over Stiles' face, his skin looking unhealthy pale.

Maybe another kiss would be great, would make them forget about it all, the evil spirit could wait and this time Ash could kiss Stiles longer and he can- "Ash, you are staring," The younger boy blushed immediately, blinking away from the sight. "Not that I mind but..."

"Oh. Right. I'm sorry-"

"Just kidding, relax." Stiles' lips curled in to a smile, his eyes wrinkling with the small movement.

Then he reached and pressed his lips against Ash's flushed cheeks. His heart skipped a beat with the contact, even the smallest act was so foreign to Ash. Widening his eyes, Ash didn't dared to move a muscle, just watched the amusement in Stiles' eyes.

"Let's have some sleep even it's for an hour, right?"

With that, Ash tried to return his small smile, he wasn't sure whether his muscles was doing their jobs, he felt numb - it was a good feeling. It was as if his mind was just catching up with the whole ordeal. I asked him to kiss me and he did and he is real.

Nothing else was important for that time being. Not even the fact that for the first time in a year, he was witnessing Stiles' life before writing about it. Ash willingly chose to ignore the fact that something bad was about to happen, if the stinking feeling inside his stomach was any indication.

However in that particular moment, he choose to focus on the fact that he was here, right next to him on a very uncomfortable sofa, legs tangled without aiming for it. His fingertips were brushing past his upper arm, his hazel gaze was trying to meet with his blue ones.

Nothing else should matter.

Ash put his large hands (comparing to his petite figure) on Stiles' chest, his fingers interfering with the soft matter of the shirt, tugging on it slightly. As if he was afraid that he would vanish in to thin air, like all those years people told to Ash. Not real. Just an imagination.

Even if it was, at least it was a good dream to be in. Ash closed his eyes and gave his back to the couch but still keeping their legs tangled. "Do you think that you can sleep?"

"Don't worry about me, I feel like everything is going to work out. Plus, I feel like you can be my lucky pillow for now."

Ash kept his lips sealed and his eyes screwed shut. He didn't do anything to agree with his statement, Ash hated lying after all.

Instead his fingers grip on Stiles' shirt tightened and move an inch closer until the only thing he was able to feel Stiles. It felt peaceful, listening to his steady but sharp breaths, inhaling his sweet sent. Ash's mind drifted away from those thoughts, last thing he remembered was the sound of Stiles' beating heart.

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AUTHOR; 

last time there wasn't a kiss and now there is!! it think this time around they got to spend more time together & it felt right (also relevant for the rest of the story so...). hope you liked it, let me know what you think xx