Joohyun

"The sentences are haywired, Joohyun," Sooyoung expressed with a sigh while massaging her temples.

Irritation was dripping from every pore of her face and I could definitely sense the reticence she was allowing herself to have.

"The plot is all over the place and it's lacking a logical sequence. And don't get me started on the typos. They are nauseating to look at."

I was seated on the cream coloured sofa opposite her, a dainty coffee table between us which served delicious scones and piping hot tea. Sadly, they didn't hold the same charm in contrast to the bleary atmosphere on the room.

After submitting the first draft of my new book last night, I was frantically called to Sooyoung's office in the wee hours of the morning. When I entered her cabin, she was pacing the room back and forth, a huge black cloud of worry hovering above her.

The moment she spotted me, her eyes widened. She rushed towards me like a maniac, held my arms and shook me vigorously.

"What the hell were you thinking giving me that piece of crap?!"

The way she was handling me, I swear I would have pushed her to the floor if she weren't my friend. She always had a flair for dramatics. I got used to it but at times like this, her overly sensitive behaviour is nothing short of annoying.

She shook me again for a good measure, indignation crossing her face.

"Joohyun!"

"I get it, Sooyoung. Stop screaming!"

That must have rattled her to her senses.

She let go of my arms and gestured for me to sit. I sat on her sofa while she rang for some snacks and tea.

Now here we were, a heavy two hours later, analysing my work as if it was the last.

"I don't understand," I piped in while sipping my milk tea. "This isn't the first time you get a shoddy piece of work for the first draft. I bet you've seen worse than this. And it surely won't be the last."

"Exactly. You don't understand," she said while sitting down opposite me. "I get tonnes of shit work sent to me so that I can edit them and make them palatable to the audience. At the end of the day, they are bound to get polished."

I raised my brow. "So?"

"Since last night, I was racking my brain to understand what was going in your mind to write such a piece of draft that it's close to impossible editing it without losing your personal touch. Apart from the obvious grammatical errors, your story is so inefficient and bland, I had a really hard time keeping up with it. Not to mention that I had to pop a pill to relieve me of an oncoming headache before sleeping."

I looked at the table in front of me. All of a sudden, I didn't feel like drinking the tea.

Such a shame, it was perfect and delicious.

Sensing my reluctance to prove myself, Sooyoung let out a sigh.

"Joohyun."

I gingerly raised my eyes and looked at her. She had a sympathetic look on her face and I felt horrible.

"I want to know, Joo. What's wrong?"

I couldn't say anything. The reason for my ineptitude, my laziness.. I knew it. But I couldn't bring myself to say it to her.

Moments passed and I didn't say anything. Unsurprisingly, Sooyoung got up and sat on the other sofa, close to me. She put her palm on my thigh and patted it a few times.

"This isn't like you, Joohyun. The drafts you sent for your first book were impeccable. They hardly needed my intervention. The team was ecstatic about it. But this.." she looked at her desk where her laptop was, gesturing to my current work. "I'm afraid it won't cut the basic mark for it to be approved."

I nodded but still won't open my mouth.

"You have to tell me. Whatever it is, it's bothering you so badly that it's affecting your work. I can't afford that."

Of course.

Her money and reputation are at stake here. After all, my friend put a bet on me with her other publisher friends about my book making the most sales in the coming fall.

That's one of the reason she is so jittery. I don't mind though. It's also my fault. I don't know what was going through my brain to write such crap.

I breathed out and trained my eyes on her. She smiled patiently.

"This other day, I don't remember which day, someone told me that I write really good for someone who is real stupid."

She blinked.

"What?"

"Yeah. And, I quote, 'don't open your mouth and solidify your childish existence.' I quote again, 'its hard to believe that it was you who wrote something so profound.' That's the reason, I guess. That person did a number on my confidence."

Hearing this, Sooyoung stood up, anger lacing her features.

"Fuck that person!"

I looked down and chuckled.

Oh, you have no idea.

"Just who do they think they are?" She was livid and totally gone out now. "Did you tell them your net worth? The reviews about you? Do they know people who talked to you? Joohyun, you're one of the most intelligent, profound, charismatic and interesting person I've ever known. How dare they say that?"

I was genuinely smiling now. It's funny how a person's opinion about you shapes your whole perspective about oneself. It won't matter that you are the only one who spent the most time with you and what others' think of you is just a figment of their thoughts.

But humans are weird. They rely on others for their self sufficiency. They become enslaved to others' personal take on someone they barely know.

That's what happened with me.

People said I did well, I got that into my head.

Seokjin said I sucked, I got that into my head as well.

Now Sooyoung said I'm good, I will do the same.

Theres no stopping in vanity. There's a reason it is one of the seven deadly sins.

Or was it pride?

I don't remember exactly.

"Joohyun."

I looked up at her. "Hmm?"

"Seriously. Screw that person. You're worth more than that."

"I get it," I said while nodding. "I'm sorry for worrying you like that."

"No problem. Just go home and finish what you started. I'll make sure the deadline is extended for a week or two."

"Thanks. I really appreciate it."

She waved off her hand and walked to her desk. Taking a pair of glasses and perching them on her nose, she sat down and resumed her other work on her laptop.

That was my cue to leave.

"I'll be going then. Have a nice day."

As expected, she just waved without meeting my eyes and continued typing her work.

I turned around and made my way out of the office.

I walked to the parking lot, lined with cars of all styles and sizes, and unlocked mine with an automated key.

I got in and did nothing for a few seconds.

All of a sudden, his words made their space in my brain.

'Joohyun.. fuck.'

'You're amazing, dammit.'

'That's right...fuck. Work those hips, baby.'

'You like that?'

'I want you..again.'

My mind was spinning. He won't stop wanting me that night and I was going mad here, remembering that.

'You will think twice before being smart with me.'

He said that when I was splayed on the carpet, my arms and legs around him and he was on top of me, fucking me ruthlessly.

'Come for me. Now.'

On the sofa, when I was riding him, on the brink of an amazing orgasm.

'More. Fucking more.'

When I was tired after coming for the umpteenth time. I genuinely lost count by then. 

He was a fucking beast. A fine ruthless beast. No matter how many times I was satisfied, he skillfully manged to coax the hunger out of me.

I never realised I was so insatiable. My senses were in overdrive and each one of them were screaming for Jin.

After that night, I thought of him so many times. It was like he had bewitched me, into being someone I was not. Or maybe, I was.

When he called me off the next morning, it was painful. I didn't like being hurt by him. It was a pathetic remorse to have after such an intense meeting but I couldn't help but question myself regarding him. My anger then was genuine but more than being angry, I was sad.

The uncertainty I had within me was surfacing when he said those insensitive words to me. To conceal that from him, because I didn't want that to be seen by him of all people, I took help from my anger and threw a vase towards him in an impulsive moment.

Thankfully, it didn't hit him. He should have been angry, pissed off, anything. But he looked at me silently, questions in his eyes and lust, deep and dark, in them.

Remembering his face from that time gave me sleepless nights. I was gone out.

There was no reason for me to want him again. I ought to have had my fill. So, then why? Why did I yearn for him? In the cold dark nights when I was alone in my bed, wanting his touch on me, his kisses on my body like it was the last thing he wanted to cherish?

Kim Seokjin was no friend of mine. He had no business being so passionate with me. So when he made love to me without being hesitant to project himself, I couldn't help but think that he was an amazing lover. A wild, passionate, glorious lover.

He knew what to do.

I was brought out of my reverie when I heard a car honk somewhere in the parking lot.

Breathing heavily, I turned on the air conditioner and started the car.

Not a few minutes on the road, I received a text message from my father that I was to be in his office in fifteen minutes.

I frowned while looking at the message. He didn't call me to his office just for the sake of it. It must be related to the shares or the business stuff which comes with it. I called him back but he didn't reply.

Must be sorted in the office, I guess.

Driving with a destination in mind, I reached my father's company.

Standing in front of the large monumental piece of architecture, Paelea, I felt a sense of pride as well as a foreboding. It was all because the nature of the meeting. I still didn't know what I was called here for.

I was greeted by the staff, a few new faces among them. They somehow recognised me despite my lack of presence in the company buildings.

After entering the elevator, catered only to VIP guests and officials, I punched in the highest number floor where my father's office was located.

After a few long minutes, I stepped out.

I tried exuding confidence in my posture and gait, my heels clacking haughtily on the marble floor. Fortunately, I was dressed proper and extremely formal for the occasion. Donning a white pressed blouse and a cream knee length pencil skirt, paired with my favourite pumps, I was looking every bit of a professional suiting to the office needs.

Father would be proud.

I made way straight to the office where Luna, my father's devoted secretary, smiled at me and gestured towards his cabin. They were really expecting me, huh?

I smiled back and went forward, pushing the long black door and strode in without knocking.

My nerves were too frazzled for me to take manners into consideration, I guess.

"Good morning, Fathe–"

No fucking way.

"Ah. There you are, Joohyun. Come inside." My father beamed.  I don't remember when was the last time I saw him in such high spirits.

No.

"I wanted you to meet someone really important today. Considering the delicacy of the situation, I found it necessary for you to be present here too."

This is looking bad. I have a strong feeling what this shit is all about.

No.

No.

"Joohyun. Meet Mr. Kim. He's the CEO of Kim Corp and he is here with a very interesting proposal for you at hand."

Fuck.

Like Sooyoung said, fuck him.