Cassandra flicks a balled up straw wrapper across the table. It lands on the floor and she leans back in her chair, dirty white converse propped up on the coffee table. Hands behind her head, she closes her eyes and lets out a big yawn.

"You should pick that up," I mutter, not looking up from my notes. I wasn't following the discussion of the novel very well in class, which doesn't bode well for my next assignment. Flipping through my scattered outlines, I scramble to make any sense of the words on the pages.

Eyeing the little bit of paper Cass tossed to the floor, my mind flashes to CJ and the other students like him that work in the cafe. Why should they have to clean up after Cassandra?

She shrugs casually and Hannah rolls her eyes before bending down and tossing the wad of paper onto her tray of trash. "So I know you're kinda busy, but can I talk to you about something?" Her eyes are wide, like she's holding something back, trying too hard to seem like everything is okay.

Putting my bookmark in place, I push my book to the side and meet Hannah's gaze skeptically. "What's up?"

She looks to Cass quickly before leaning forward, stretching to put a hand on my forearm. "Okay, so don't be mad or anything -"

Impatiently, I interrupt her. "What is it, Han? I've really got a lot to get through today,"

"CJ isn't a student here!" Hannah instantly clasps her hand over her mouth once she finishes her sentence, apology in her eyes.

Cassandra turns to her, lips pursed. "Really, Han?"

I look between them, feeling my brows knitting together in confusion. Opening and closing my mouth, I'm not sure what to say, my mind unable to process what Hannah just told me. How can that be true?

"What?" Is the only word that escapes my lips.

Looking a little calmer, Hannah takes a deep breath and speaks slowly. "I had Cass look him up at the Registrars Office during her shift this week - I'm sorry, I know it's wrong but something just didn't feel right."

My mind is running in circles trying to keep up. How could he not be a student? "Well, CJ is just a nickname right?" I attempt lamely, the feeling that it's no use settling inside of me. Hannah is pretty thorough.

She nods understandingly. "Of course - so Cass checked all the possibilities for those initials, but none of the ID pictures look anything like him."

Cass nods in agreement. "I checked the board in the Psychology department, too. He's not listed as a major,"

My heart hammers in my chest. This doesn't make any sense - he wouldn't lie about being a student, would he? I think back to the party at the volleyball house when Cassandra's captain didn't recognize any CJ off campus.

How come he never let me see his apartment, again? My thoughts all blur together as things begin to make sense and I feel more and more idiotic for not seeing it sooner. I look up and see him through the storeroom window. What was it that Hannah said about students not working that position? A lump
grows in my throat as things begin to line up.

"But!" Hannah probably notices my shaky hands. "We did see a Professor Jacobs in the Psychology department - isn't that the Professor CJ works with sometimes?"

I nod slowly. "So?"

"Maybe he has some answers," Cassandra shrugs, pushing tangled red curls from her eyes and pulling them into a ponytail.

"Maybe," I bite the inner corner of my lip. "Why would he lie?"

"We're really sorry," Hannah's eyes are wide and sincere. They both stare at me, eyes full of concern but nothing else. They don't have any of the answers, of course they don't. But even still, they were right all along, and so was Mom. The thought is like salt in my wounds as I try to refocus on my school work.

We stay in the Science Center for a few hours, quietly working on our assignments. Cass and Hannah get a lot done, taking breaks to chat or grab a snack while I pretend to be nose deep in my novel. Every time they look down, my eyes find CJ, working his shift as if nothing is wrong.

I tap my pen against my knee rapidly, nervous energy bubbling out of me. CJ keeps his eyes down, squeezing fruit for fresh juice and restocking yogurts. Never still, he nods his head to his music as he works, oblivious to everyone else around him. The longer I watch him, the more irritated I get. How dare he just continue on as if the past week never happened?

"We're ready for dinner, you?" Cass slings her backpack onto her shoulder, holding Hannah's open so she can put her books inside.

Hannah smiles, struggling with one of her binders. "Yeah, you coming?"

Glancing back up at the cafe, I don't see CJ anymore. The pit in my stomach gets bigger and I shake my head. "I'm not really hungry, I'll catch up with you guys later,"

Hannah nods, glancing warily at Cassandra as if she's nervous to leave me alone, before waving and exiting the building. She turns over her shoulder to make sure I'm all right before letting the large door swing shut. I wave back, trying to muster a reassuring smile.

Turning back to my work, I notice CJ through the wide windows of the Psychology Administration office. The man he's talking to is the Professor I saw him with before, probably the Professor Jacobs that Cass had mentioned.

Without thinking, I'm up from my chair and charging down the hallway to speak with CJ. Legs propelling me forward seemingly without permission from my brain, I bust through the doorway, interrupting their conversation.

"Christopher, it's time you start taking things a little more seriously - that's all I'm saying. Taking some classes would be a good start," The lanky professor spots me at the door, mouth wide open, and smiles politely. "Excuse me," he gives CJ a stern look before turning his attention to me. "Can I help you?"

CJ turns finally to see who's disrupted their conversation and my stomach tightens. His brows come together and his cheeks redden brightly. "I, um, no. I-" I stammer, staring at my blue toenails. What a stupid, stupid idea, I flush.

"I think she's looking for me." CJ explains flatly before walking past me through the door frame.

I meet the Professors eyes awkwardly. "Sorry," I mumble, rushing to follow CJ down a relatively quiet corridor in the Science Complex.

A number of Chemistry presentations line the hallway and I shutter at the complex reactions in the diagrams. Finally my eyes fall on CJ and he stares at me expectantly, arms crossed defensively over his chest.

"You wanted to talk," He raises his brows at me, hiding them behind his dark shaggy hair.

My pulse quickens. "Seriously?" I take a second to compose myself - this isn't the way I expected him to react. I'm so used to being the one refusing him, I never thought I'd have to beg him to talk to me.

"Look, CJ. What's going on? One minute we're doing great, the next we're getting arrested," Angry tears prick my eyes. "And now you won't even talk to me?"

CJ's expression hardly changes and his cold demeanor knocks the air out of my lungs. "Kat, you're better off without me. I thought you'd see that yourself after we got arrested," he shrugs as if to say "Guess not," and my blood boils.

"Is that why you lied to me?" I demand.

Brows coming together, CJ cocks his head to the side. "Lied to you?"

I shake my head at him furiously. "You know, a senior psychology major, living off campus?" I pause for him to defend himself. When he sputters, speechless for the first time since I've known him, I press harder. "What were you talking about with that Professor, a friends of yours, I assume?"

"Kat come on," CJ runs his hands through his hair in exasperation but I don't stop, frustrated tears spilling over my cheeks.

"What classes, CJ? Stop lying to me!" I wipe at my cheeks roughly, annoyed at my body for betraying my emotions.

"Fine!" CJ shouts and I startle into silence. "Fine, okay? I'm not enrolled here, I lied."

I feel my head fall as I hear the truth. What can I even trust about him anymore? I feel like I don't even know him. My mind reels from the emotional whiplash.

As if reading my mind, CJ continues. "But I meant everything else, I swear - my feelings for you are real."

I shake my head again, too many thoughts whirring in my brain. "How can I trust you? I don't even know you,"

He grabs my hands in his tan ones and uses them to tilt my chin up to him. "Hey, don't say that, you know me. You know all my little things, remember?"

My heart stings at the memory of one of our first conversations. Despite what I said before, everything inside of me screams at me to run away. Back to where it's safe and predictable. I shake my head weakly and CJ pulls me to his chest, patting my hair to soothe me.

"You know me, Kat. And I know you," His voice is soft and sad. "Come sit," He pulls me to a bench against the wall and we sit quietly for a few seconds before he continues.

"Listen, I'll explain everything." He takes a deep breath. "I was enrolled here, at first. But that was the summer my brother died and even though I see things differently now," CJ shakes his head. "I was in a bad place back then. I got in a lot of fights - it just felt so good to hit something, to make someone hurt like I did. But even better was how it felt to hurt on the outside the way it did on the inside," My heart breaks for him, my own mind recalling the pain of losing Dad.

"Anyways, I got expelled and the school let the college know so I got my acceptance revoked." CJ shrugs. "My uncle is the Professor I was talking to and he was able to pull some strings so I could do some work on campus and save up some money. The plan was to reapply at some point,"

I search his eyes, seeing that there's more to the story than he's letting on. "Why'd you lie?"

His green-brown eyes grow sadder. "The first day I saw you, you were just so d-"

"Desperate?" I remember my failed Biochem exam and the pressure to pull my grade up before finals.

"Different." He meets my eyes. "I feel like I knew you right away, like you were what I'd been looking for."

"Why'd you lie to me?" I repeat, refusing to be caught up in the words.

"I wanted to be good enough for you." CJ's brows pull together and his tan skin reddens.

I resist the urge to reach out and comfort him. All this time I thought I was the one who couldn't measure up to his fearlessness, and he was afraid the whole time. I thought I needed to be more like him, and there he was, too scared to be who he really is with me.

Shaking my head, I stand from the bench. "I'm sorry, CJ. I just don't know." Staring at my blue toes, I mumble, "I need some time."

He nods understandingly, dark strands falling into his hazel eyes. Raising my gaze from the floor, I  make my way back down the hall to my table, careful the entire time to not look back.