The Science Center is less crowded than normal - as the week goes by and the remaining finals dwindle down, more and more students are headed home for the winter break. I wander around slowly, scanning the faces of everyone I see, hoping to find CJ. I check out the cafe, where the workers are chatting amongst themselves, less busy than they're used to. I peek inside lecture halls open for study groups, and in the more isolated spots, but I can't find CJ. I try to ignore the disappointment I feel brewing inside me.

Grabbing an empty table in the cafe, I begin taking out all of my Biochem materials. I need to study much more for this one than Physics, I sigh. I check my phone and notice texts from Hannah and Cass in the group chat, and from Hannah individually. I ignore the group and see what Hannah sent me, knowing it will nag at me the entire time I try to study if I don't read it now.

Hannah: Sorry about last night! Couldn't find you, hope you had fun ;)

I roll my eyes and put my phone in my bag, not needing any distractions and also not wanting to face the issue right now. Still, I'm really annoyed at both of them - they knew I was drunk and I was only in the bathroom for a few minutes, when I returned they were gone. And Hannah never came back to the room to see, so how hard did they really look? I push the negative feelings aside, the last thing I need is to fight with my best friends during my most stressful year of college.

At that moment, a shaggy dark head catches my attention across the large atrium in the window of the Psychology department office. CJ is chatting casually with a professor I recognize from the school website. I feel the edge of my lips turn up in a wide grin, as I grab my phone and leave my books at the table. I'm surprised at my own confidence as I make my way to the office, excited to be the one surprising CJ for once.

I politely wait by the door to the office, not interrupting their conversation. "I just think it's time to consider next steps," I overhear the professor explaining. What's his name again? Professor... Professor J something, I recall. Johnson? That's not it. I can't remember now. Next steps with what? I wonder to myself patiently.

CJ spots me by the door and his expression shifts. I'm taken aback a bit as he almost... frowns? Scowls? I cross my arms over my chest, looking at my feet. Not the reaction I was hoping for.

"Professor, I appreciate the advice." CJ cuts him off as the professors eyes trail to my face, brows furrowed. "If you'll excuse me, I need to see what this student needs." This student? Excuse me? My cheeks warm as I remember his lips on mine. Embarrassment brings color to my cheeks as my mind scolds me once again for kissing a near stranger. I know better than to do things like that. It probably meant nothing at all to him. Why should it?

"Fine, just come by my office once you're done." The Professor grins at me with a tight smile, nodding his head as he passes by. I shift uncomfortably in the doorway, regretting my bold move.

"Kat," CJ doesn't really smile when he looks at me. It's the first time he hasn't seemed happy to see me, I notice with another wave of embarrassment.

"Oh, now you know who I am?" I snap, suddenly feeling much more irritated than embarrassed.

"Kat, listen," I stare at him expectantly as he figures out what to say next.

"Well?" I prompt when he comes up empty.

CJ runs his hand over his face. "It's just complicated. I'm having a bad day." He shrugs as if everything should make sense to me now.

"Whatever," I roll my eyes and shove off the door frame, back to my textbooks. I should've just stayed there studying to begin with. The entire walk back, I'm aware that CJ is walking right behind me, and I smirk despite my irritation.

I ignore his presence as I take my seat, very deliberately opening my Biochemistry textbook and pulling out my notes. CJ sits across from me, glaring at me intently. He bites his bottom lip in frustration, but I keep my eyes on my textbook, not willing to be the one to cave first. Finally, he reaches over and slams the book closed. I pull the highlighter from my lips, "What was that for? This student is studying."

"I'm not going to tell a professor about us, am I?" His hazel eyes challenge me.

Us. My heartbeat falters. "Saying my name wouldn't have killed you."

"I'm sorry Kat. It just has been a hard day." He runs his hand through his hair and I twiddle my highlighter in my fingers, deliberating my options.

"Fine," I shrug, reopening my textbook.

"Fine?" CJ squints.

"Fine." I sigh. "I'm sorry about your day."

"Why are you here so early?" He stares at his knuckles and I can feel the familiar bouncing of his legs under the table.

"I got drunk last night," I admit, biting the inside of my cheek.

"You did?" CJ's eyes twinkle. "Good for you. I wish I could've seen that,"

I gaze at his one dimpled smile and I wish he could have, too. I felt so good, I didn't have a hundred questions crowding my mind the entire time. I would have been adventurous, flirty even. Maybe I would have kissed him first... "Kat?" CJ waves his tan hand in front of my face, and I drop my lip from between my teeth, flushing at my own thoughts.

CJ's eyes trail down to my mouth and his eyes darken. My breath hitches in my throat and the embarrassment from his rejection earlier fades. Looking around at the mostly empty center, I quietly stand, feeling unusually bold. I make my way down the hall a bit, into a secluded hallway where I know there won't be anyone around. CJ follows quietly behind me, and when I turn to face him, his eyes are boring into my own, and his hand settles at the base of my neck as he leans in, taking my mouth in his. My breath quickens as my lips move with his, somehow knowing exactly what to do. My lips part for his tongue and I revel in the sweet taste of his mouth as my own tongue traces his. My fingers knot in his shaggy hair as his fingers dig into my hips, shoving me hard against the wall. His teeth take my bottom lip and pull softly, and I surprise myself when a soft groan escapes my lips.

"Kat," CJ breathes against my neck, planting wet kisses on the soft skin there, nibbling at my collarbone. I close my eyes, tilting my head back against the wall behind me.

My phone vibrates loudly in my back pocket. I groan, pulling away from CJ's kiss. "Ignore it," he growls into my mouth. I try, sucking his bottom lip playfully. When it vibrates again, he leans his forehead against mine, his eyes hungry and annoyed at the same time.

"Sorry," I squeak, breathing hard. I feel my face turning red as I see Lucas's name on my screen.

"Who is it?" CJ leans against the wall, his lips a bit pink from our kiss.

"No one," I lie without knowing why.

He raises his brows in disbelief. "No one, hm?" He reaches over and grabs my phone quickly. I fight for it, leaning against his chest and standing on my tip toes, but I can't reach his arm raised above his head. "I don't mind this," he mumbles into my hair as he pulls me tighter against his body. My stomach is crazy with butterflies as my chest presses against his. Holding me to him with one arm, he uses his free hand to check my phone. "Lucas?" I peak at him from under my lashes. "Why don't we make this a bit more fair, yes?" He drops the arm embracing me and my stomach drops before realizing what he's doing. Using both hands, he puts his number into my phone. "The next time you go do something crazy, like get drunk, make sure you invite me," CJ winks, his mouth pulling into a lazy smile.

My heart beats faster just looking at him, even as he walks away, back in the direction of my books. Giving myself a moment to recuperate, I am both guilty and ... giddy. No one would ever approve of me making out with a man when anyone - a professor even - could have seen us. But I feel so alive and all I want to do is say to hell with studying and go find a place to keep kissing CJ. I ignore Lucas's message and follow after CJ, completely transfixed on the delicious soreness of my swollen lips.

When I'm back at the table, I see that CJ has taken out a novel and is reading quietly. I sit down in the seat opposite him, flipping to the correct page in my textbook. I peak at him before looking away when his eyes meet mine. I feel him watch me for a few minutes before returning to reading. We stay like that for hours, in peaceful quiet. I can't help myself from thinking that this is the most fun I've ever had while studying.

CJ walks me to my dorm once I've decided to call it a day. We walk slowly, taking our time as little snow flakes fall from the sky. "That professor," I mumble. CJ's face hardens beside me but I press on, "He mentioned next steps," I trail off.

"So?" His voice is harsher than normal and I shrink back into myself. He's right, it's not my business. "I really don't want to talk about it, Kat." CJ sighs and suddenly I feel like a burden.

"Oh," I sniff.

"Hey, You owe me three things," He smiles, his voice a bit softer. His his nose red from the cold and I long to snuggle up with him under warm covers. Does CJ do things like that?

"Last night was the first time I've ever drank," I begin slowly.

"I could've told you that, doesn't count." CJ throws his head back in laughter, his mood changing quickly.

"Fine. How about this, then? I had a lot of fun being drunk, at first at least." I giggle but am unable to read CJ's expression. "Two," I continue hurriedly, "I've never had a pet except for a few fish growing up. Three, I've never been outside of the U.S." CJ watches me intently, taking in my words carefully.

"Where would you go?" He stares at his feet as we walk.

We're at the door now and I'm trying to stall swiping myself into the dorm. Is that what he's doing, too? "Hm, Europe, of course. All over Europe," I bite my lip to hide my smile. I wish I was brave enough to go abroad. But alas, I'm here and I'm not behind in my pre-medicine requirements because of it. CJ's dimple pops as he tucks a strand of dark hair behind my ear.

I wait for CJ to break the silence but he doesn't, he just stares down at me, his eyes unreadable. "Well, this is me. I'd like to see your apartment sometime," I say it before I can think the words through. CJ raises his brows at me, a devilishly handsome smirk on his lips.

"I'd like that," he leans down and I tilt my head back, ready to feel his kiss again. Suddenly, the heavy door bursts open, a group of girls from the upper floor files out, laughing loudly. CJ pulls back as they walk by, looking around sheepishly. "I'll see you after your exam tomorrow," he waves lamely and trots away, not sparing even a parting glance. Ouch. Rejection stings and tears prick my eyes. Two times in one day, my mind taunts, but look how easy you make it for him to get what he wants and leave. My thoughts are vicious as I make my way to my hall.

I shove the thoughts to the back of my mind, he said he was having a hard day, I tell myself. He isn't embarrassed of me, right? It's just that he's having an off day. I turn the key to my dorm room and rush inside, ready to be alone.

Hannah and Cass sit on her bed, abruptly stopping their conversation when I walk in. "Kat!" Hannah's smile is too big and fake on her face. Since when do they hang out without me? In my own room?

"Heard you had fun last night," Cass is equally as falsely cheerful, her red hair in damp ringlets down her back. I eye the distance between them and feel tension in the room. What is going on?

"I'm going to shower," I mumble, grabbing my caddy of toiletries. I walk down the hall, feeling numb. My friends aren't acting like my friends and CJ... am I making a fool of myself? I turn the dial to the hottest setting, stripping the layers off my body. I sigh, remembering how CJ's fingers felt through the material of my sweatshirt. I wonder what it'd feel like without clothing between us, I think as the hot water hits my back. I bite my lip, imagining him shirtless. I've never felt like this about anyone. You've never kissed anyone before either, my mind reminds me cruelly. If I'm being honest with myself, I've never wanted to, until him, that is. But even as I wish I was still with him, I can't help but think of how badly it stung when he rejected me today. Twice.

I finish showering quickly, and come back to an empty room. Rather than waste time being angry at my best friends, I make myself some instant noodles for lunch, and begin working on Physics. If nothing else makes sense, at least I can count on the laws of Physics. I flip through the pages, solving practice problems on paper and making notes on my index cards. A couple hours pass, and my mind trails to CJ in its boredom. Soon too wild with thoughts of CJ go focus, I take out my phone and make use of my new contact.

I type out a quick hey, feeling both nervous and lame. I shove my phone across the desk, instantly filled with a weird suspenseful feeling in my chest. Immediately, my phone vibrates and I scramble to pick it up.

CJ: hey yourself, lover lips
CJ: I like kissing you

I can't suppress my smile as I type a reply, forgetting about his reaction to the other girls seeing us outside. Before I know it, hours have passed in flirty conversation and my Physics text lays to the side, all but discarded entirely.