I finally get around to taking all my bags out of the back of my car on the last day of break. I learned early on that it's best to move out a little bit at a time, and Thanksgiving break is the perfect time to start clearing out all of the fall clothes I have that I won't be able to wear again before Christmas break. Thanksgiving was quite late this year, though, so I have much more to bring home than usual. I huff, dropping a heavy bin to the ground before locking my trunk back up.

"Hey, Kat!" I hear my neighbors voice from his own yard. I look up to see Lucas Johnson's large frame taking up most of his front door. His dirty blond hair is cropped short, the same way he has always kept it.

"Lucas, hey!" I wave back, a polite smile on my face. Truth be told, Lucas and I have a complicated history. Growing up as neighbors, we were practically best friends in elementary school. Middle school even. But high school came and as we matured, Lucas became popular and dated a lot, while I mainly focused on studying and getting into a good college. We still had to hang out sometimes when our parents had cookouts and things like that; but Lucas usually found an excuse to leave part way through, not that I could even really blame him. Even when he was there, though, it was hard for us to act like friends, since we were practically strangers at that point. We put up with it for awhile to keep our parents off our backs, but when they invited each of us to the other's graduation party, Lucas had cornered me by my locker and said he couldn't come to mine. "Sorry," he'd said, "But you understand, don't you?" The words ring loud in my mind as I watch him trot over to edge of my driveway.

"Whatcha up to?" Lucas asks, hands on his hips. His big, brown eyes examine the bin of sweaters on the ground.

"Just getting some of my stuff home, so there isn't as much to take home for winter break." I explain, struggling to lift the heavy bin off the ground. His brows come together, and I'm sure it never occurs to Lucas, and probably most other boys, to lighten the load of final move out by switching out attire according to the season. Men.

"Here, let me," Lucas offers, extending a hand. I step back to make room for him, watching his muscles move under his thin thermal top. Lucas has really filled out since we've gone to college, but as he is a varsity football player, I guess that was to be expected. "Where do you want it?" He turns over his shoulder, his cropped dirty blond hair looks so soft that I want to reach out and trail my hand over it.

"Just inside the door there is fine," I point ahead to the door connecting the garage to the house. He takes the bin over with ease. "Thanks, I appreciate it." I smile gratefully, imaging how much longer I would have taken had I moved it myself. I groan at the thought of fully moving out at the end of May next semester. The moving in and out is definitely one of the worst things about college. That and the stress, I sigh.

"No problem," he wipes his hands on his blue jeans. He looks around the old garage, "If you ever need help cleaning anything out, let me know." His hand touches my shoulder lightly and I know he's being sincere. It was weird, but once we went off to college it's like Lucas grew up more than I would've expected. He asked me to come over his first Thanksgiving home and he apologized for how he had treated me. I wasn't sure what brought on the change, but I didn't question it. We didn't go back to being best friends, but we started being friendly to each other again. I'd rather be friendly enough to chit chat than hold a grudge and still have to see him home every holiday.

"How's Sarah?" I ask about his younger sister, who is only a year below us.

"Really great," he beams. "She's on the swim team and she's got this awesome internship already." I miss Sarah. Despite her brother exiling me, Sarah was always more of the book-ish type, too. We got along, although she was never seen as an outcast like me, because she was related to Lucas.

"Tell her hello for me," I say eagerly.

"Here, why don't I give you her number?" Lucas extends his hand for my phone. I hand it over, eyeing the dusty boxes labeled "SEAN" on the shelves as he types it in. I should probably clean this place out, I note, knowing Mom will probably never bring herself to do it on her own.

"Text her whenever, I'm sure she'd love to hear from you," Lucas eyes me carefully.

"Will do," I promise, meaning it. It'd be nice to have a friend to hang out with when I come home from school.

"Well... I'll let you get going then," Lucas looks around awkwardly, before waving and jogging back to his own front steps. Weird.

"Aright, Mom, I'm headed back," I shout into the house. Mom comes rushing from the living room, a cardboard box in her hands.

"Take this with you," She pushes the box into my arms.

"What's this?" I cock my head to the side, feeling the heavy weight of whatever is inside.

"You've been so stressed lately, I thought I could do something to make things a little less unpleasant - it's a Finals Survival Kit!" Mom squeals with excitement, instantly detailing the contents inside. Cold medicine, tissues, candy, baked goods, salty snacks, extra pencils, sticky notes, highlighters, warm socks, coffee mixes, mini energy drinks, and numerous other things fill the package. I want to tell her it's too much and she didn't have to, but I can't bring myself to say the words.

"Oh, Mom," I prop the box on my hip, leaning in to hug her tightly. Tell her you're failing Biochemistry, my mind practically screams at me, but I ignore it. She made me this survival box, and I really can't let her down. We exchange goodbyes and before I know it, I'm in my car, on my way back to campus keeping my dirty secret to myself.

Hannah won't be back until tomorrow afternoon, since all of her of classes are late. I settle into my room, opening up the fast food bag I grabbed on my way to school and stuffing a fry between my lips. Turning on the TV, I grab my phone, hoping to postpone homework a bit longer. Some mindless scrolling through social media should do the trick.

I unlock the screen, realizing I never closed the contact page from earlier. I grin as I notice not one, but two knew numbers under the J section. Sarah Johnson, and ... Lucas Johnson. I bite the inside of my cheek, wondering what I should do. I did just decide to procrastinate, I tell myself as I type up a quick message.

Me: Two for one? :)

I put my phone on the bed, where I won't be able to stress out if I don't hear the vibrations immediately. I put away some laundry I got done at home, waiting a full twenty minutes before checking my phone for his response.

Lucas: Must be your lucky day.

Another chime and the phone vibrates in my hand.

Lucas: It was great seeing you, college looks good on you :)

Is he flirting with me? I wonder to myself as I type out a response. I respond simply, sending a quick "Likewise :)"

Before I can dwell on the question too long, my phone pings again, signifying another message.

Lucas: Got to go. Driving - chat tomorrow?

I accept his offer quickly before setting my phone down so I can begin my readings for the week ahead. As I read my assigned short stories for Creative Writing, my mind trails to Lucas and his short dirty blond hair. I imagine running my hands over the soft fluff, but part way through the daydream, the hair turns dark and wavy, long tendrils falling through my fingers. CJ. A slight feeling of unease settles in my stomach as I consider my conversation with Lucas. Why was it so much easier to talk to Lucas than to CJ?

Because, my mind tells me harshly, he already knows the very worst things about you.

The next week and a half drags, the way the first weeks back after breaks often do. My planner quickly becomes full of multi-colored ink, detailing my days with lists of items to accomplish before the semester ends. Luckily, Literature and Creative Writing will be assigning paper prompts for the final, leaving me only to study Physics and Biochemistry during Study Period. That is, if I can finish my papers to my satisfaction before the three day study session begins.

The end of the semester has arrived, and you can tell by taking a quick survey of the campus. The cafes have extended their hours, the library is packed well after midnight, and people have begun renting out group study spaces in all the academic buildings. There are perks, however, to the end of the semester - I am grateful as I bite into a late night breakfast sandwich of eggs, cheese, and bacon on a bagel that the cafe sells during "after hours."

Hannah and Cass are having a lively debate about whether it's worse to have all papers or all sit down exams. Cass is picking at Hannah's leftovers, always happy to eat whatever Hannah doesn't want after a long practice. I live for these study breaks during the early hours I'm awake stressing about chemical reactions and physics theories. Just hearing my two closest friends thinking of things other than the sheer amount of work we have to get done helps lighten my mood.

Hannah and Cass have gone back to the topic of Hannah's father's new girlfriend, Lisa. "You said she has what, three kids?" Cass chuckles, sucking down the last of her iced coffee.

Hannah holds up two fingers. "Ten and nine year old boys," She rolls her eyes. "Who my father has decided, must now live with us."

"How was Connor?" I try to change the subject, not wanting to see Hannah all riled up again. Cass gives me a dirty look, knowing I ruined her fun.

"Good, studying like a maniac." Hannah's face is glum and I know we won't get much out of her tonight. Nice one, Cassandra.

"Well," Cass stands, stretching her back, long arms high above her head. "Might as well get back, putting it off any longer won't make all these papers disappear," She grabs her dirty white backpack off the chair next to her. "You coming?" She asks me, zipping up her volleyball fleece.

I shake my head, "I'm going to head to the library, I need to finish at least one rough draft of these papers," I groan. As the semester gets closer and closer to the finish line, the days pass even more quickly, seemingly leaving less and less time to get anything done.

"Okay," Cass looks to Hannah next. "Do you want me to walk you back?"

I'm not sure, but I think I see Hannah flush slightly. Hm, I wonder, looking from Cass to Hannah and back again. But I'm interrupted as my phone chimes. I reach for it immediately, a smile on my face.

Lucas: Still on to talk tonight?

Lucas and I have called each other every couple of days since I saw him over break. Our calls don't last long, they're just a few minutes as we discuss our day and all the work we have piling up. But I like having someone to talk to at the end of the day, and if I'm honest, I like hearing his voice.

I type a quick yes, not even realizing that between all my school stuff and being excited to chat with Lucas, I haven't even thought about CJ... or that I haven't seen him at all since I've been back.