He had lost his damn mind.

What was he thinking when he had requested a private audience with Lady Sophia Brighton? It was true what he said: all he wanted to do was converse with her. But he was not sure that when she was in his presence that he could hold himself to that vow, prevent himself from seducing her as much despite his honorable promise. She did that to him, made him feel like he was spiraling out of control, lost in flames of...whatever was between them. Love? Desire? Lust? Attraction?

Blake Cavendish paraded across the thick carpeted floors of the library back and forth, his polished boots thumping softly in unison to his anxious heart. Everything about her made him feel...he did not know it made him feel. That scared him. He was always in control, perfect dominance when it came to women. But with Sophia Brighton, he felt as if he was losing all semblance of it, of what he was.

However, in a world where his father dictated every action of his, perhaps a loss of control and inhibition would not be such a bad thing. Could he afford to lose it with her? If he did and a series of events ensued, was he ready to take responsibility for his actions?

A lifetime with someone he barely knew was not appealing, but he did not think it would be so awful with Sophia Brighton.

The part of him that despised commitment flinched and then laughed. No, Blake Cavendish, as much as he wanted, was not ready to get married. He perhaps enjoyed his lifestyle too much, although he tried to convince himself otherwise. Hence, nothing could happen with him and Sophia that would result in anything else that was of a permanent nature. That was his final say.

Good luck believing that.

Dancing with Sophia Brighton had been so painful, feeling his body touching hers, that bolt of lightning that had shuddered through his entire frame; and then knowing he could not have her.

Yet, he still tempted fate and himself by inviting her here. Unfortunately, or fortunately, for he could not decide, no woman snuck in through the door, and no new shadows danced across the walls.

Perhaps she had been right to not believe his promise of just a conversation; he was unsure of his motives himself. He could not say he blamed her. If he were a woman, the wisest choice would be to stay as far away from someone like him-

"Do you always talk to yourself, my lord?" A voice breathed out. Blake turned sharply toward it.

Although a small, warm fire burned in the library, the room was still too shrouded in darkness to see who it was and the voice too faint to be immediately recognized. But with her body, she brought this energy and spice and he knew it was her.

"Lady Sophia. I didn't think you'd come."

"How did you guess it was me?" she cried, surprise caressing her in tone.

"Consider it an educated guess," Blake murmured, his lips twitching up into a small smile.

"I would expect nothing except for you to be educated, my lord. In all aspects. It would be ill-fitting to your reputation if you weren't."

Blake knitted his eyebrows together. Her words were completely innocent in nature. However, as she stepped towards him, he could see her blue eyes crackling as the firelight played across it, the gleam in them that made him think she was not as pure as she seemed. It was sort of a wicked gleam, or he was just reading much too into it.

"Of course. But pray tell me, why did you come, knowing my reputation? I had suspected you would not, after leaving me for so long in the gloom, hoping." He stepped closer to her until they were a finger's breadth apart. She licked her lips and that hit him like a blow to the heart. Goddamnit.

He circled around her, like a lion cornering his play. She seemed to be so unaffected by him, and this was his chance to make her every bit of nervous as he was. It worked, for he could see her breath hitch. Yet, she did not back down and he could see her trying to follow him with her eyes.

He wanted nothing more to place his finger on that cleft and tilt her chin up for her lips to meet his...no. He had to stop there. He could not imagine that.

"You still haven't answered my question." She shook her head, her stray curls flying.

Blake hid his smile in his shoulder. She was persistent, he'd give her that. "Yes, I may have been speaking to myself perhaps. It is a nasty habit because mumbling is no proper way to talk. I usually, however, enjoy my mouth pursuing... different things."

His voice was low, and thick like wine, lulling her senses. Even in the dim light of the fire, he could see her faintly shudder as he stopped behind her. Her head turned slightly towards him. He traced a finger down her arm and from her side profile, he could see her eyelashes fluttering.

What was he doing? He had to stop, but he could not. His body had taken a liking to do whatever it pleased.

"Now, answer mine, Lady Sophia. Why have you come?" He once again stood in front of her, watching her throat bob. He gave her an intense glare, hoping she would finally cower under his gaze. He should have known she was not the type to back down, for she had already displayed that attribute of hers. She just raised her chin up higher, narrowed her eyes and cocked her head.

"I wasn't going to. I tried to convince myself not to, tried to talk myself out of it. You can see it did not work, for I am here, even if it is very dangerous to my reputation. I am somewhat drawn to you and I cannot explain why. You invoke my curiosity."

"You're right. It could be quite dangerous to your reputation to be seen with me," he whispered, a slow smile unwillingly breaking out over his face. "However, that could be why you came too."

"It could be. You shan't know." A small silence followed those words, and only the crackling of the hearth could be heard.

"Why are you looking at me as if I were a mathematical equation to solve or a puzzle to complete?" Blake asked as he looked at her, trying to dissect her thoughts.

She laughed, and it was light as tinkling glass. It sent a bolt of heat through him. "I think those would be easier things to solve than you, Lord Herrick. You seem to be a lot more...complex."

He stepped closer to her making their noses almost touch. "Complex? I must admit, that is a new descriptor for me."

Another step forward, and their chests were now pressed against each other, their lips separated by a very small gap. Her breath hitched and her bottom lip faintly trembled.

"But would you like to figure all of me out, Ms. Brighton?" He tilted his head a little more forward and they shared the same breath.

Realizing their proximity, she stepped away from him, gasping. "Not at that distance, my lord, but it was a good try, nonetheless, for whatever you were trying to do. I am unsure of what it was you were aiming to achieve." She knew exactly what his intentions were, her soft pink lips curving up, but she knew how to hold her fort.

Blake let out a small choke, swallowing his amusement.

She shrugged her shoulders, defensive. "It was much too close for my comfort. You promised no ravishing, just talk, and it seemed now you were about initiate the former. We cannot have that. As a gentleman, it is on your honor to hold up that promise," Sophia chastised as she sat on the couch. "Please sit, my lord."

Blake dropped onto chaise, lounging on it casually. He was not sure if he was grateful for her pushing him away or disappointed. Only one of them was a dangerous emotion, and he was not sure it was the first.

The pull that he had felt between them when they had danced was nothing compared to this. All alone, with no one else in sight, he could feel himself being drawn to her like she held some strings that dragged him towards her, closer and closer.

She sat on the opposite edge of the couch, regarding him pensively, unsure if she should get more comfortable and closer to him. She looked awkward, perched on the edge. He gave her a smug smile, letting her know he knew how discomforted she was and she reddened slightly.

That look and smile shot right down to his loins and he groaned. He could not have this right now, but his body seemed to disagree, as his blood heated up.

"Is something the matter, my lord?"

"No, nothing. Nothing at all."

She bit her lips, laughing and his blood roared louder, pulsing.

"All right. What did you want to talk about? I can only stay here for a while. If I disappeared for too long, it could be suspicious."

"Uhm..." he waved his hands in the air about lazily, "Tell me about your interests. What are you fond of, Ms. Brighton?"

"Books. I wanted to be a scholar once or even an academic teacher. I have always been fascinated by literature, science, math. I do enjoy a good storybook as well. But those dreams are of the past."

"Have you read Oliver Twist?"

"You know of it?" She looked genuinely startled as if she could not make herself believe that he did indeed read. A faint flicker of disappointment curled in him.

"Just because I enjoy other pursuits in life, does not mean I don't find books enjoyable, or the acquiring of knowledge a ceaseless venture, Ms. Brighton."

"My sincere apologies. It was wrong of me to presume."

Spying a glass of drunk on the table beside them, he poured himself a glass, sipping it before he spoke again. "Medicine and science had always been fascinating to me before my father took that away from me."

She turned towards him fully, frowning. "What do you mean?"

"My mother, she used to tend to soldiers when she was younger, helping her father when they brought home fallen soldiers and close friends. She cultivated that interest in me."

"What happened?" Her genuine worry and sympathy made him smile, though he hid it as he took a sip of his brandy.

He blew air through his mouth. "That was before father took that away, and groomed me to be a marquess and nothing else."

Her response came so softly, he wondered if she had spoken at all. "I am sorry for that. I can sympathize. My father..." she paused, thinking of the right word.

"Is like mine." Blake supplied and she nodded gratefully.

"Yes. That is what he is."

"I will admit, I haven't spoken to many women about science, art and literature, much less family. It's refreshing, and more of a personal endeavor than I had imagined."

"And?"

He gave he a slow smile, which she returned. "I enjoy it."

"What else catches your fancy, Lord Herrick?"

"You."

She sputtered, laughing. "I see. Well, I must be going now."

Blake wanted to berate and clock himself on the head for saying that. He had completely ruined the easy conversation they had with each other. He could not remember the last time he had one with such ease, if ever. "That was much too direct, my lady. I am sorry if I have caused offense."

They both rose and faced one another.

"It was a pleasure meeting you tonight, my lord. I hope to see you at some event someday, although," she raised her lips in an amused manner, tucking a stray curl of her hair behind her ears. "I don't think it would be at a ball."

"You're not wrong on that count, my lady."

"If that is all, good night, my lord. I bid you farewell."

She made a move to twirl away from him but he caught her hand, pulling her back toward him. She collided against his chest, and Blake's lungs contracted. A pair of widened blue eyes greeted him.

What was he doing?

"That isn't all. Just one more thing, my lady."

And he kissed her.

At first, she remained still, utterly shocked, and as stiff as a board. Slowly, ever so slowly she returned his kiss moments later.

That was his undoing.

His lips bruised hers and she returned his with equal passion. For a virginal maid, she was by no means a skilled kisser, but she was not as clumsy as he had thought she would be. It was not like he minded, for his entire world was drowning in lust, desire, and heat. It had started as a spark, then consumed him whole and he relinquished in it.

Blake groaned against her mouth, cupping her face to bring him closer. His fingers slightly curled into her midnight hair, and her arms had come looping around his neck. Her kisses were demanding, eager.

If he stopped now, he could make her come back, want more. It was the first steps of ultimate seduction. He, as a seducer of many, knew that. Yet, he could not let her go. He bit her lower lip gently and she sighed against him, their breaths mingling in heady passion.

Finally, he broke away from their kiss, panting, though it felt it completely wrong for him to do so. The minute he did, he felt so...empty. Then, it settled in--what he had done, and he wanted to hit himself, again.

"I am sorry, my lady." Hoping to douse the flame, he tried to take control of the situation again. "That was utterly wrong of me, and I shouldn't have done it. I lost my senses."

Their foreheads were still touching and Blake made a moved to leave, moving away. He could not do this. He had to let her go. As he took steps backward, still looking at her, and she at him, something in him cracked.

However, it seemed Sophia was not ready to let go of whatever this was yet. Curling her fingers around his collar, she pulled him towards her again and their lips met. She ran his fingers through his air, tracing her finger down the edge of his jaw.

And he lost it.

Their lips still fused together in a storm, for it did feel like lightning was cascading through him, he moved them back towards the chaise. They fell together, and Blake pushed her back until the length of his body was over hers. He traced her collarbone and the curve of her shoulder. She shivered, fluttering her eyelashes.

He kisses a hot trial down her neck, his hand moving down her chest and over her waist. She trembled beneath him.

He traced his arm back to her breast and slightly squeezed. The moan that followed was not of enjoyment.

Seconds later, a crack came flying to his face and he immediately jumped off her and stood up clutching his cheek.

"What in God's name?" He snarled down at her and she scooted up on the chaise, her nostrils flaring.

Her eyes were frigid, the once beautiful warmth in those eyes, gone. "What in the devil's blazes were you thinking? Palming my... breast?" she hollered, her body quivering. She slid off the chaise and stood up, looking like a revenge-seeking angel, with her white gown and livid eyes.

She smoothed down her rumpled dress, trying to tame down her tousled hair, which he had made messier in their endeavor.

"I thought that was what you wanted!" He hissed.

She opened her mouth to presumably holler again. But when she heard the distinct chatter of voices, her volume immediately dropped to a furious whisper. "I may have entertained the kiss again, but not such crude actions!"

"You pulled me back toward you and then pummeled me with your kisses. You cannot expect a man to understand that means that you simply want to kiss him and nothing more! Your actions were a clear indication of something else! I tried to leave. I tried to move away." Rage was slowly creeping up on him as well.

"I shouldn't have and it was my mistake. I should not have given the wrong ideas. I just wanted to see how a kiss felt, just once before I entered a passionless marriage. Can't you understand that? You men can do whatever you want, but we women can't." Her voice sounded as if it was an inch away from breaking.

Blake stood up as well. "I know. I get it. I get wanting to break out of bonds. I know, believe me." He grasped her on the shoulders with both his hands and slightly shook her, her teeth clattering in her skull. "I know because my father has taken many choices away from me. I told you that."

Just as he had grabbed her, he let her go, like she was a red-hot iron poker. "I know, all right. I understand."

"No, you don't. Not like I do. It's not the same thing." Sophia hissed.

"Maybe so."

"Anyway, regardless of what I may have hinted at, you still had to ask if I was ready for more! And that is not by trying to touch me in other places! What is wrong with you? You should be ashamed of yourself! I know that I am of my behavior! I shouldn't have done that, but you're more to blame than I!"

"You were giving me all the wrong signals, dammit! So, I did what I thought you wanted! You can't expect me to read your bloody mind!" Blake hissed in distaste. "I did nothing to you that you weren't looking for. I promised not to ravish you and I should have not kissed you. I admit that was my fault, but the second time... the second time--that is on you. You knew what you were getting into with me, you knew my reputation. If it was so shameful, why come at all?"

"Even if I did initiate it again, you never should have started to make our kiss turn into something else!" Sophia's voice rose again and she breathed out, trying to calm herself.

"Well it doesn't really matter now because you finished it," he snapped back.

"I'm glad I did, or there would be one less woman out there with her virtue intact."

"Maybe that was my intention all along," he growled and then immediately regretted it as shock flitted over her features.

Damn.

"I didn't mean that-"

She cut him off with a brutal sweep of her hand. "You never wanted to chat, did you? Your momentary promise of not ravishing me was all that it was, momentary. You did not want to know me, just wanted to get to know my intimate parts, for that is your reputation. I was a fool to believe otherwise." she snarled in distaste, her voice unnaturally loud and high-pitched.

"No, I did want to know you. Your humor, your intelligence, it was intriguing." He moved towards her, staring her down. "Our conversation was wonderful. But do not act like you did not play a part in this. You know that. You took this opportunity to figure out your own passions, and you thought I could be of help. The attraction we felt certainly helped your cause. You just admitted it."

He ran a hand through his hair. "For Christs' sake Sophia, you used me for your own gain. You used me." Blake blinked at the tone of his own words. He sounded hurt. He was hurt. Goddamit, he was getting too emotional. Blake Cavendish did not too emotions other than desire and lust, and he tried to calm himself, don a composed mask.

Something like guilt swam in Sophia's eyes but it disappeared as soon as it came, her pride too high to show it. "Maybe I did. That was perhaps my mistake." Sophia's jaw was clenched so tightly that Blake was afraid she was going to break it.

She then grew silent and looked at him for a few minutes before whispering in a voice Blake had to strain his ears to hear.

"You listen to me now, Viscount Herrick. You stay the hell away from me. I never want to see you again. Don't come near me and don't ever try to kiss me again."

"Perhaps you shouldn't try to kiss me back." He could not resist the last jab at her.

She paused, her shoulders stiff and back stick straight. After walking a few steps, she slightly turned her face towards him. She opened her mouth to say something but closed it, thinking better of it. His gaze, full of ire and rage was enough to melt skin from bones, and hers matched it. Eye-for-eye.

The library door softly closed behind her as she made her exit. Blake sighed and plopped down on the chaise, putting his hands beneath his head, and looking at the ceiling.

She said she never wanted to see him again.

Blake had a sinking feeling that was not going to happen. He just could not leave her alone. He felt she could not do the same either. Their pull was too strong.

And there wasn't a damned thing he could do about it. 

Damn! Sophia's fire and ice! Do you agree with what she had done or thought she too is in the wrong? Comment below and vote if you liked this chapter! What did you think of their conversation? 

Do you think Sophia will stay away from him, or maybe become a fallen woman?

Readers! Thank you for taking the time to read this chapter! Be sure to vote, comment and share it with others! Every single thing means the world to me! I love you all!