19 | Even the Worst
It was story time for the toddlers. Cora heard them where she and Eva sat in the teen section of the library, ear-splitting shrieks that one wouldn't think could come from such tiny humans.
"I thought reading meant you had to be quiet," Eva said. "They sound like banshees."
"Not even a banshee could out-scream them," Cora said matter-of-factly. The advantage of being a sorceress meant she'd gotten to see the softer side of the phantoms and ghouls' humans feared. The soft-spoken banshee in PE was rather sweet-tempered.
They'd arrived early, the morning not quite through, acquiring a table beside one of several bookshelves. With almost no one else to bother them, their solitude was a welcomed reprieve from the madness next door.
On the table in front of them were numerous books on the countries they were researching for their history project, none of them had been opened yet and wouldn't be for a while. Eva took a slip of paper out of her pocket.
"I've narrowed it down to three boys." She pushed it to Cora's side of the table. "What do you think? I want the complete and honest truth. No bull crap, okay?"
Cora stared at the crinkled paper. "Max, Jake, Pryor." She slid the paper back to Eva and crossed her arms. "No, no, and no."
"Come on. Why not?" She scanned her list of unsuitable suitors, the bottom of the bottom in Cora's opinion. "Max isn't so bad. He is a slacker but also kind of cute."
She reached across the table, taking the list from Eva. "Max is more than a slacker. The boy wouldn't know a pen and paper if they were dropped on his head. And Jake, he has that whole douchey jock thing going on, even though we don't have any teams. Don't get me started on Pryor."
Eva held up her hands in surrender. "Okay, you've got me." She surveyed the room. "Maybe I should go boy shopping outside of school. We don't have the best selection."
Too bad the only boy in the room couldn't have been over fourteen. Cora took a water bottle out of her bag. Twisting off the cap, she said, "What about Sawyer from history? He's not bad."
Eva shook her head. "I think he's already taken." She slumped in her chair, which she only ever did when she was frustrated, having the posture of a yogi.
Cora, who'd downed almost half of her water, screwed the cap on. "I'm sure someone will ask you, E," she said. "Your pretty, smart, and any guy should kill to go out with you. And if he doesn't, I'll make his life so wretched he'll... he'll." She wasn't sure what to say, having not made anyone's life miserable at all despite it. She settled on, "I think anyone who doesn't want to go out with you is woefully ignorant.
"Easy for you to say," said Eva, sitting up straight. "You got lucky. It's not like I have a super cute neighbor who's into me. Spill. How were you introduced anyway? Did his grandmother have something to do with it?"
Cora pulled a book in front of her and flipped to the first page. It gave her time to come up with an answer. She hated lying to Eva but what choice did she have? "He sat next to me on the bus one day," she said. "He was listening to a song I liked. We started talking and found out we lived on the same street when we reached for the bell at the same time."
"Wow. A match made in heaven." She hadn't said it with any malice because Eva did really believe in such things. "I hope I get my own meet-cute one day. I can only dream. You guys are perfect for each other. You inspire desperate sobs like me."
"For now," Cora said, flipping more pages of the book so fast it was impossible to see what was on them.
"What do you mean for now?" He won you a stuffed animal, Cora. Boys like him don't come around often. Shoot, I wish someone would win me a toy bat."
Core shut the book. "I was kidding. We're going on a group date with Willow and her friends."
Eva's perfectly thick eyebrows lowered. "You and Beau with Willow and her friends. This was your idea?"
"My mom's."
"Oh. That makes more sense. When am I going to meet Willow anyway or anyone in your family?"
Drat. Why did I tell her about the date?
She had to think fast to not hurt Eva's feelings. She wished she hadn't brought it up because now she was once again lost for what to say. In the four years they'd known each other, Eva had only caught a glimpse of her mother at a parent-teacher conference.
That was three years ago. Cora had mentioned the rest of her family in passing and Eva had always asked when she'd get to meet her crazy family. Maybe it was time to invite her over. Of course, her family would have to be warned first so they could be on their best behavior. "Willow isn't so good with strangers," she said, not even a lie.
Eva laughed. "What is she your pet?"
"My family's weird, okay. It's hard to explain."
"But Beau gets to meet them," Eva pointed out. She sounded hurt. "I get the whole weird family thing, but I do think it's strange that in all the years we've known each other I've only met your mother once."
Cora flipped the pages of her book, this time pretending to read. She wanted this conversation to be over already, even though Eva was right. It wasn't fair. Was she being a horrible friend?
It's for her own benefit. If she knew the truth, she'd understand.
Eva's set her mouth in a bitter line. "I just want to know they exist, and you aren't secretly orphaned. Not that I really think you're an orphan or anything. Come on, Cor."
"I don't know," she said. "I'll have to think about it."
"You act like I'm asking for a kidney."
A kidney would be simpler. She would happily give Eva one of hers if it would soothe her suspicions.
"Anyway, we should get started taking notes for this project." She tugged a book in front of her but didn't open it.
"What is it?" Cora asked.
"It's that now that you've got a hot new boytoy I'm worried you'll forget about me." She pointed between them. "Us, I mean. You've been so distracted lately, Cor. I mean, I know new relationships are exciting but best friends trump boyfriends, right?"
She'd noticed they hadn't hung out as much as usual. All she needed were the two months before her birthday. Once Beau fell in love with her and she broke his heart, Eva could have her company as much as she wanted. She couldn't lose focus now.
"I can swear to you that won't ever happen," she said. "Besides, we'll be together all summer, remember? No boys, just us basking in New York City's humidity.
Eva accepted her excuse and it ended their conversation about Cora ditching her for Beau. Eva hunched over her book and Cora did the same. When they both emerged from the pages, not much time had passed.
"I can't concentrate." Eva shut her book. "My brain is buzzing with prom, prom, prom." Her hand gestures made Cora giggle.
"Did your parents go for the dress?"
"Nope. They said I can find a cheaper one somewhere else." She kicked the leg of the table hard, making it wobble. "They don't know how much rides on finding the perfect dress. Don't tell me you've already found one."
"Believe me, I haven't." She hadn't even begun the search for one. "We can go to Oleander one day after school, maybe check out the vintage shops." Oleander Garden had the best shopping district in all of Elorie, beating downtown Thorne Point's high streets.
Eva clapped. "Why didn't I think of that?"
"That's why you have a best friend."
"That's exactly why I keep you around, Cora Emerson," said Eva. "Now." She smoothed down the pages of the book. "We need to do some studying. We've been here for..." She checked her cell phone. "Thirty minutes and all we've done is talk."
That was what they did for the next hour, until Cora's eyes grew tired of rereading the same lines over and over again. While Eva fretted about prom in June, her problems were looming ever closer. Beau needed to fall in love with her and quick.
What was he up to right now? Did he work on the weekends, or maybe he was the type for Saturday courses? She hadn't thought to ask, but it would make sense he'd be in his store behind the register or out on the floor, hopefully thinking about her. If she'd judged him right by what little she'd garnered about him.
A lot of people in her school had after school jobs, either by their own accord or to help out their families. Cora's job didn't come with any extra benefits or bragging rights. She'd told Eva all about Made with Magic, skipping over the fact that the women who made it were magical. At least, she hadn't needed to lie about what was in their products.
"I've heard of that," Eva had said. "My mom wanted to try it once but said it cost too much. For that price, your products must be really good, especially if it pays for all your outfits, miss fashionista."
Cora had wanted to come clean and say that there was nothing special about any of their products, and that her great-grandmother had enough money put away to feed generations of Emersons. Their house had been paid off years ago.
She hadn't told Eva any of this. That was the secret of Made with Magic. You let your customers believe that beauty could be found at the end of a plastic jar. Every sorceress knew that there was magic in thought and intention. As long as their clients believed that what they were paying for would make them beautiful—so it would be.
Cora finally closed the book and guzzled more of her water. She took out her phone and thought about texting Beau but didn't want to be too overbearing. It might scare him away. She scrolled through her messages and email. When she didn't see anything new, she clicked onto the web to check her blog. Her ramble posts usually got far less comments than her outfit posts, but at least there was no comment from Tilda.
She didn't want to see her again anytime soon, but her mother had already set the date. Tilda and Blythe would be by on the 20th.
What if I caused her some misery?
She could even get Willow in on it. Willow loathed Tilda as much as she did, ever since Tilda had patted her head and said, "You're such a cute little sorceress." Willow loathed being called cute, as much as she despised condescending people.
Tilda was one giant ball of condescending. It was surprising she hadn't toppled over due to her giant head. Cora could even beg her grandmother to serve all fattening foods. Blythe and Tilda were vegetarians, even though they had no problem wearing fur coats, and pearls, and leather, and everything else that screamed luxury. They lived in a lavish apartment in Thorne Point. Blythe's husband, who'd been enchanted into falling in love with her, so the rumor went, was some fancy lawyer who worked in a fancy office.
The Gray's made Cora twitch.
Eva kept her eyes on her book for another thirty minutes, forcing Cora to do the same. The book she'd been reading hadn't held her interest, but if she knew Eva, and she did, she would expect nothing but the best grade on their project. They were studying world history and were tasked to pick a country other than Elorie for their projects.
Ms. Lovette had told them to be creative and not stick to the larger nations. She'd said she wanted to get a taste of every corner of the world. Cora and Eva hadn't yet chosen their country, although they'd taken out several books on Asia and the Caribbean. It would make sense that Eva would want to do their presentation on the Caribbean. Her entire family was from there.
Many pages later, Eva said, "I'm taking out this book. I think we should stick with the Caribbean. There are so many countries we could do. What do you think?'
"I agree," said Cora. "Do you know which country?"
Eva tapped her lips. "It would be easier to do my father's home country. We could even bring in mementos to go with the presentation or maybe..." She tapped her lips some more. "Maybe even some food samples. My father makes the best plantains."
"Come on." Eva stood, gathering up the books.
She gathered hers and soon they were waiting in line to check them out. "Did you bring the camera?" Eva asked.
Cora patted her bag. "Brought it."
"This is a great location."
Thorne Point's Central library had always been Cora's favorite for no other reason than that even surrounded by hundreds of people she could find her own corner and not be disturbed by anyone. It was large but had the charm of the quaintest library. Plus, it was a fantastic location like Eva had said and right across the street from Viridis Park.
Saturday's were market day, the area packed with vendors beneath white tents selling all kinds of merchandise and tasty foods.
She and Eva left the library into the cold with their books. Except for people who were entering or leaving, no one hung around outside like they would if the weather were warmer. In the summer, little tables with striped umbrellas would be set out where you could read, have lunch, or people watch. There would be all kinds of activities, like swing dancing for seniors. Other than Crumbs and Crumble Café, or her bedroom, she considered it quite spellbinding. She inhaled the frigid air.
She could smell the faint aroma of a food stand not too far away, the candied scent of roasting peanuts dipped in caramel and topped with sugar.
"I think you should stand on the steps." Eva held out her hand for the camera. "Come on slow poke. It's freezing out here."
Cora had tossed her books into her bag and her shoulder ached from the added weight. It felt much better once she'd taken the bag off to search for her camera. She needed a camera bag, one that was sleek and stylish. Once she had the camera, she handed it to Eva. It was an old DSLR, the cheapest she could find at the time. Her blog had outgrown it. She'd wanted a better model for a long time now, a Christmas gift perhaps.
"Okay, stand over there." Eva pointed towards the steps, near the fountains, silver winged fairies coaxing water from lotus flowers.
Cora did as she was told. In her gray coat and green beret, she thought she looked pretty chic. It wasn't her most creative, but she hadn't published an outfit post since last week.
"Don't pose too much. Try to stand more naturally," Eva said. "Yeah, like that." She grinned, the shutter going off.
Cora tried not to shiver too much, though she hadn't opened her coat the wind blew right through it. "Is this okay?"
"Perfect." Eva took a few more snaps, sometimes directing her how her mother would, to turn this way or that way.
Soon it got too cold for both of them, the gust wanting to carry away Cora's hat. She found it was always colder around this area, probably because of the trees. She scanned the pictures as fast as she could. "These are great. You really caught the light in this one."
"Thanks," said Eva. "Now let's get out of here before my fingers snap off."
Minutes later, they were on the train, rattling home.
It surprised Cora to find her great-grandmother home. Mariam didn't care if it rained or shined. Nothing kept her from being out and about. But today she was in their living room, sitting perfectly still on the couch, with a steamy cup in her hands.
She appeared to be mediating. At least that's what Cora thought at first. The TV hadn't been turned on and there was no jazz music. She'd heard the crooning of Billie Holiday coming from her room the past few nights. She put her had on her granny's shoulder and the older woman startled, almost dropping the cup.
"Sorry." Cora took her hand away. "I didn't mean to frighten you."
Mariam smiled. "You didn't frighten me," she said. "I knew you were there."
Cora sat beside her. "What were you thinking about?"
Mariam took a sip of her tea. "Nothing that should concern someone your age," she said. "Trust me."
Cora curled and uncurled her toes. She'd worn flats today and they were still chilled, even with the heat up to eighty degrees in the house. She pulled a throw pillow onto her lap. Tracing the stitching on it, "Granny, can I ask you something?" she asked.
"You may," Mariam said. She put her tea down on the coffee table so Cora would have all her attention.
Cora continued to trace the pattern on the pillow. "Is it normal to feel guilty?"
Mariam laughed, not a cackle, but a laugh in the exact same way she would cackle, tossing back her silver hair. Her laugh was as low and sultry as her voice. "Even the worst of them feels guilty," she confessed.
Cora picked at thread on the pillow. "Is it normal then not to feel guilty?" She hadn't felt so guilty about Nola and she'd had fun toying with Beau. Would the guilt come crashing in later when she least expected it? She hoped not.
Mariam didn't laugh this time. She said, "This is a part of who you are. It's always been. If there's anyone to blame, it's your mother. I told her not to get involved with that man. But would she listen to me? No, she wouldn't. She was in love." She put her hand over her heart when she said it.
"My father," Cora said. She stood, the pillow sliding off her lap to the floor. "Is my mother home?"
"She should be in her room." Mariam picked up her tea, blew on it, and took a sip.
Cora gave her a quick kiss on the cheek and left the room. It had become an unspoken rule in the Emerson house not to talk about Cora's father with Stella, unless Stella brought him up herself. She'd made that mistake once at seven and was about to again. She knocked on her mother's door. "Can I come in?"
Stella opened for her, and Cora wafted past her for her bed. She sat, not wanting to waste any time. Her mother, sensing this, started to open and close her dresser drawers as if she might have forgotten Cora's father in one of them. Really, it was her way of prolonging their conversation. It was going to happen whether she liked it or not. Whether it bothered her or not, Stella had raised a determined daughter.
"You don't talk about him anymore," Cora said.
"Who?" Stella asked. She didn't face Cora. She kept opening and closing drawers, as if she were searching for a lost thing.
"My dad."
Stella sighed. Cora saw it in her shoulders. "Listen, Mom. I'm not here to interrogate you about him. I'm sure you had a good reason for keeping him away. I just want to know something." She began to pick at her nails, worrying away at them.
Stella closed the dresser drawer and sat beside her. "What do you want to know?" she asked with another small sigh. "At the time, I thought I told you all I could."
"I want to know if he was the one for you?"
Like Beau is for me.
Her mother wrapped her arm around her shoulder, drawing her closer into her warmth. "I'll tell you now he wasn't. He was just some guy I fell for when I was really young. It's nothing like what's going on with you. You don't have to worry that this guy—Beau—being like your dad was for me." Stella laughed. "These days, I wonder if it was actually love or an act of defiance against your grandmother. Either way, there will be others for you. But we will always be here. At least, Mariam will."
Cora relaxed into her mother. "I wish I didn't have such a soft heart."
"You like this boy, don't you?" Stella rubbed her daughter's arm.
"He won me a stuffed bat."
"I'm sure there'll be more stuffed bats in your future if you can't have this one."
"Why can't I have both?"
"Because you will break his heart."
The words "you will break his heart" played back in her head that night and wouldn't stop as she tried to concentrate on her homework. Could he forgive her if she did? Would she be able to forgive herself? And how exactly did you break a heart? She knew the answer to that question. Not even the best person came without baggage, and Beau had been distant so many times. She'd have to find his weak spot and...
Use it against him.
She dropped her pen, pushed her chair across the room for her bed, and took up the book he'd given her. She imagined his hands holding it where her hands were.
She needed a new heart and quick.
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