13 | Bitter to the Heart
"Want to grab something to eat?" Beau glimpsed the time on his watch. "I need to get Noah home soon," he said, tugging down the sleeves of his coat.
They were outside the movie theater. It was early enough that another line had formed. Well-dressed couples and families huddled against one another waiting to get in.
"Cheeseburger and fries. Cheeseburger and fries," Noah chanted.
"After you ate all that popcorn?" Beau put his arm around Noah's shoulders, drawing him closer.
Cora marveled at their cuteness. What would Willow do if she tried such a thing? She wasn't one for hugs, or any kind of sisterly affection.
After wolfing down so much candy and Beau's mushy popcorn, she wasn't hungry, but she did have an hour left before her mother would miss her.
The brightly lit windows of Heddwyn Books & Co beside the multiplex, well-stocked with a plethora of hardbacks, piqued her interest. She paused, twirling a loose button on her coat. "Do you mind if we stop here? I want to buy something for a friend."
"Sure," said Beau, he and Noah following her in.
The bookstore didn't quite smell like books, old or new. It didn't have a distinct aroma her nose could detect. At this time of night, there weren't many people around. A few lazily perused the tables upfront piled with discounted fiction.
"Good evening, young lady," the security guard said, a dark-skinned black man with warm, crinkled eyes.
"Evening," said Cora, as she led Beau and Noah to the shelves in a corner near the back where they housed the noteworthy books. She didn't consider herself a vivacious reader, at least not like Eva, but she did read—fashion magazines mainly. Right away, she recognized the book she'd pulled off Eva's shelf, and let her fingers slip across its glossy spine.
The boys stood close behind her. Beau reached past her to pluck a children's book off the shelf.
"You remember this?" he asked, holding it up to Noah.
Noah grabbed it from him. "Dad bought this for my birthday."
"And you still haven't read it."
Noah shrugged, handing the book to Beau. "I don't like this stuff."
"What kind of books do you like, Noah?" she asked, taking down a copy of the book Beau had picked up out of curiosity. If she bought it for Willow, she might read it or, better yet, chuck it at her head.
"Comics, graphic novels." He yawned and tucked his small chin deeper into his coat.
Cora returned the book to its rightful place. "My sister's twelve and she'll read practically anything. She thinks she knows it all."
"I know all about that." Beau shot Noah a telling look.
"What I want isn't down here. Let's go upstairs." She ushered them around to the escalator, up to the second floor which, in her opinion, was the best.
Non-fiction, memoirs, and cooking books were housed on shelves near the escalators. The adult fiction section was off to the left, a sea of shelves stretching the whole length of the room, leading to the children's and young adult section. A row of tables sitting near the entrance displayed the classics. The entire floor smelled like coffee because the café was just beyond a row of crammed shelves. She started for the young adult section, Eva's favorite, Beau and Noah trailing behind her.
"What do you think about Cora?" Beau asked him when he thought she wasn't listening. Face hidden in a book; he couldn't see her smile.
"I like her."
If Beau wasn't sure about her before, Noah's affirmation had given her a leg up. She was certain it was what she'd needed all along, a nudge from someone he trusted.
Thanks, Noah. You've made ruining him much easier.
"Your friend likes young adult books, huh?" Beau asked, as his brother roamed away from them, either bored or tired. Perhaps both. "The one you were with at the pharmacy? Eva, right?"
"Uh-huh," said Cora, while she scanned the selection. There were so many to choose from, all of them arranged by the author's surname. "She swears this stuff is as addictive as fast food." She plucked a blue book off the shelf and flipped it around to read the back. It sounded interesting, right up Eva's lane.
"Really?" He seemed surprised. "I haven't heard of half of these authors."
She set her gaze on him before placing it on the books in front of her. "Don't tell Eva that. Trust me, she'll try to recommend you all the books she's ever read." She held up the book. "What do you think of this one? Cool cover, right?"
Tickled by his thoughtful expression, she waited as he read the jacket copy. "Sounds interesting," he said at last and passed it to her.
"What kind of books do you like?" she asked, grabbing another off the shelf. This one had a darker cover, a deep purple laced with red. Eva didn't do dark books. She preferred realistic with a dash of romance or straight up romance. She would keep this one for herself. She'd need a distraction in between days when she couldn't get to him.
"I like a bit of everything, mostly nonfiction. Stories about people doing cool things," he said, watching as she took down books, changed her mind, and tucked them away.
She eventually settled on the first two she'd picked up. The first would be for Eva, a sorry for ditching her at the Halloween dance and for pushing her to go out with Beau kind of gift. Since freshman year, Eva had always had her back.
"I think Noah's ready to go." She nodded at him, resting against a shelf, eyes closed.
Beau checked his watch. "It's getting late. I should take him home. Noah," he called, rousing him.
Noah wandered over, rubbing his sleepy eyes. "Huh?"
When Beau looked at his brother, Cora saw his adoration. Had she ever gazed at Willow that way? "Are you ready to go?" he asked.
"I'm not," Noah said, through another loud yawn.
"We can grab something to eat here," Cora proposed.
Noah stretched, clearly spent for the day. "Do they have burgers?"
At the café, Cora ordered a blue berry muffin and a white chocolate mocha for herself. Beau bought Noah a grilled cheese sandwich and iced tea lemonade, then got himself a coffee. They sat at a table for four. On the other side of the room a man sat hunched over his computer. He, Cora, Beau, and Noah were the café's only patrons that night.
She took a sip of her mocha that she'd gotten with extra whipped cream, making sure to wipe her mouth after every swallow. Milk stashes were embarrassing. As she drank, she kept an eye on Beau. He didn't notice her at first because he'd been staring out a window, but he shifted his gaze and caught her.
"Enjoying the view?" he teased.
"Busted." She played along, her cheeks warm and not because of the hot drink. She wiped her mouth with a napkin, hiding the smile she couldn't help.
Beau downed his coffee that he hadn't gotten with cream like on the day they'd met. For a while that was all they did, eat and drink, he, Noah, and Cora, until she'd finished her mocha. She picked a sticky blueberry out of her muffin.
"Why get one with blueberries if you don't like them?" Beau asked.
"I do like them, but I like to eat them separately," she said, as she dug out another one. She did this until she'd made a small pile of them, pushed off to the side of her plate.
"Do you want half?" she offered.
"After you put your fingers in it?" He grinned. "No, I'm okay."
Beside him, Noah was chomping on his sandwich, while simultaneously playing with his Nintendo. Looking more alert, she'd bet he couldn't have cared less about their conversation, so pleased to have food more filling than popcorn.
She tore the muffin in half anyway and was about to take a bite of the smallest piece when Beau fixed her with an inquiring expression. "How come it was your friend who called and not you?"
"Eva?" she asked, the muffin at her mouth, as if she had more than one best friend who would set up a date with a cute boy for her.
He nodded. "Eva."
She had a bite and swallowed. "She took my phone when I wasn't looking."
It wasn't until Beau sat back in his seat, frowning, she realized she shouldn't have told the truth.
"So, you didn't want to go out with me?"
"No."
"No?"
"I mean yes," she corrected herself.
"Really? Be honest. A hundred percent honest."
Cora put down the muffin and put her hand over her heart. "I swear to you, Beau Campbell. I'm happy to be here." It wasn't a lie. She'd managed to do some harm and not ruin their kind-of date. And to be honest, she'd had fun doing it. Her fingers prickled at the thought of causing more misery, but as she considered this, she decided he'd had enough for one night. She envisioned blowing smoke off her fingers, like cowboys did with their pistols in the movies.
He stared at her. The same way he had at the pharmacy. She wished to read his mind, but he was impossible to decipher, like trying to understand sign language when you'd never attempted it before. When he still hadn't said anything, she took it as her cue to ask her own question. "Do you play?"
"Do I play?" He immediately stopped drumming his fingers.
"You're making a beat on the table like you're remembering a song."
He held up his hand, guilty. "I don't. At least not anymore. It's a bad habit."
"I know all about bad habits," she said, grinning. "What did you play?"
"The guitar," Noah answered on his brother's behalf.
"Oh, wow. That's lovely. Why did you stop?"
"It was a stupid dream I had as a kid."
Dreams were never stupid, but she didn't push it. Clearly, something had made him give it up. Beau was more level-headed than other boys his age.
"Cora, to tell you the truth, I don't think I'd mind your bad habits," he admitted to her surprise.
"Really," she said. "What if they're gross?"
"I have a ten-year-old brother. Gross doesn't faze me."
"What? I'm not gross," Noah bemoaned. Crumbs were all that were left on his plate. He gulped most of his lemonade all in one go.
"Besides," Beau continued, "you don't seem like the type."
She didn't think she was a type, at least not one any boy would find appealing if they knew the truth. She'd always been Cora the sorceress. She doubted Beau would be into sorceresses no matter what he said. She almost wanted to ask but bit her tongue.
How foolish that would've been.
"I'm a type?"
What kind was she? How did he see her?
"You're the shy type," he said.
And she almost burst out laughing. If anything, they needed to see each other again so she could prove him wrong. She was secretive about certain things, most definitely, but she hadn't believed herself a shy person. Her great-grandmother wouldn't stand for her being meek, not when there was misery to be done.
She studied him. "Why'd you say that?"
"It's how you come across," he said, as if it was obvious, as if she should have already known.
Was that all he'd noticed about her? Her coyness, a trait she'd never thought much about. She'd wanted him to see her as outgoing, courageous, and maybe even sexy. She'd always admired her great-grandmother for being those things. She'd hoped by living in the same house some of Mariam's personality had rubbed off on her. She guessed it hadn't.
"That's me," she said. "Shy Cora."
"It isn't a bad thing." He tried to make up for hurting her feelings.
"I know it isn't." She stuffed her mouth with the last half of the muffin, feeling exasperated.
When he went to drink the rest of his coffee, she snapped her fingers, tipping his cup up farther than he'd meant so some of the drink spilled down his jacket. It was an ugly thing to do because she'd done it out of a bruised ego, already breaking her fifth rule: Never let your heart get in the way.
"Sorry." She offered him one of her napkins.
"It's not your fault. I'm such a klutz," he said, cleaning himself off.
She checked the clock on her phone. Half an hour had passed, but she hoped he'd want to stay out longer with her. "Do you want to head back to the car?"
"Yeah, we should," he said. "I need to get this one home." He ruffled Noah's hair.
"No." Noah groaned. He would have stayed out all night if he could have his way. Cora couldn't blame him for it.
They dumped their trash, paid for the books, and left the bookstore. The air felt colder than it had when they'd arrived, or the bookstore had been exceptionally warm and cozy.
"I can't wait for warmer weather." Despite their difference in height, Beau kept to Cora's pace. "I've always wanted to get out of the city, live somewhere hot."
"Really, like where?" she asked, heartened by his honesty.
"I don't know, maybe The States. California or Texas."
"But not now, right? You have college and your grandmother."
"Nah, I want to finish school first, then who knows."
"I love this weather," she said. "I love autumn."
"You love this?" He waved a hand through the frigid air.
"I do," she stated plainly. "It's like a fresh start, especially when the leaves fall. They're being reborn, and I think people should learn to be more like them."
She'd always felt more enlivened in the fall. She hated the sluggishness of summer and having to shave her legs more often. The colder months meant a new year was upon them. Everything she ever wanted would be in that new year if this one went the way she'd imagined.
"Huh. I never thought of it that way." His hand brushed hers as they walked, like he'd wanted to take her hand but was afraid to or, more rationally, hadn't meant to.
From what she'd garnered about him, he hadn't done it on purpose. He wouldn't go so far yet. He would wait until they'd gotten to know each other better. She'd seen enough romantic comedies with Eva to know that soon he'd want to hold her hand and she'd want him to, even with the fear of losing her magic hanging in the balance.
She hoped her heart would be ready for the impending heartbreak.
"She's home," Cora heard Willow say. She'd been in the window a second ago, no doubt waiting to see when they'd arrive.
She tried not to appear unnerved as the curtain shifted once more to reveal Willow, her mother, and great-grandmother. Her grandmother had better manners.
"We're not downtown anymore," she said to Beau, jokingly.
He laughed and leaned in closer to her to whisper in her ear. "I don't mean to be rude but your family's watching."
"I know. Try to ignore them."
He'd double-parked and now glanced over his shoulder, checking on his brother who was still in the car." His Adam's apple bobbed in his throat as he swallowed. "Tonight was cool. Not what I thought it would be, but maybe we can try again sometime, without my kid brother. His shoulders rose and fell, as if confessing had taken the weight off them. "If that's okay with you."
"Yeah. Yes," Cora said, shaking her head. "It's okay with me."
He grinned. "Okay, then I'll see you soon."
"Yes." He held out his arms and she embraced him, her heart thundering away in her chest. How could he possibly still smell so good? He let her go, jerking a thumb over his shoulder. "I should get going before my parents file a missing person's report." With one last wave, he turned away.
The door flew open behind her before Beau had gotten in his car. Willow stood on the steps in her pajamas. "I thought a date was supposed to end with a kiss."
"It wasn't really a date." Cora shoved her inside. She stomped into the living room where her mother and great-grandmother were lounging. "So," she said.
"So," said Stella.
"So," said Mariam.
"So," said Willow who'd come in behind her.
Mariam held out her wine glass and Stella poured the contents of the bottle into it. Cora hadn't seen her since Friday at dinner. She was the only one not dressed in pajamas but instead donned a long, silk nightgown. She resembled an enchantress. Cora made a mental note to get one for herself.
She tapped her foot, waiting. But neither her mother nor granny said anything until they'd both refilled their wine glasses. Then Stella said, "How was it?"
She pulled off her coat, flung it over the loveseat, and sat. Willow perched on the arm, swinging her legs. Mariam shot her a glare but let her stay.
"If by how was it you meant, did I cause any misery?" she asked. "I did." She lifted her chin.
Mariam raised her wine glass. "I commend you."
Cora's mother's eyes shone as if she might cry. "This is only the beginning, but I know you'll continue to make us proud."
"That boy has no idea what's coming his way." Willow, unlike Cora had, let out a perfect cackle.
Her cell phone buzzed. Everyone in the room watched as she took it out of her coat and read the text. "He says goodnight," she said, because it was obvious they wanted to know.
"He even put a little smiley face. Aww." Willow jabbed Cora's side.
"As long as you remember what we talked about," said Stella.
"Love makes me sick," Willow said, but even Cora heard the deception in her voice.
"Love," Mariam said, eyes closed and one hand over her heart, "sweet to taste but bitter to the heart." She opened her eyes. "Trust me, darling, you don't need it."
Cora suddenly wanted to be alone with her thoughts and her text from Beau. "I'm off to bed." She got up, grabbed her coat, and stormed from the room.
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