Song for the mood: Dopamine by BØRNS. A snippet of the lyrics:

All I wanna be is under your control
Sound of your spell, locked in your eyes
Under your influence, don't let me go

Alistair

"Is the water warm enough?" I kissed Vera's cheek as we re-entered the jacuzzi, filled with fresh water.

"It's perfect." She splashed the water lightly with her delicate feet after sitting back in the tub.

"Did you enjoy the sex?"

"I did." Vera closed her eyes as she leaned into me.

"It wasn't too rough, was it?"

"No, darling. I can take a lot more than you think."

Emotional intimacy after casual sex wasn't my style, but I allowed Vera to nestle into my arms while our bodies soaked in the tub. Grabbing the remote control on the ledge, I switched on the television screen.

My semi-relaxed cock stirred at the sight of two women getting their pretty pussies fucked in a gang bang film. Turning to Vera, I watched her with curiosity-her dark eyes were glued to the television.

"Do you enjoy watching porn?" I asked.

"Mm-hmm." Vera nodded. Nothing seemed to phase the woman.

I massaged her clitoris gently while she played with my dick, reviving it to a full erection. Pornography heightened my senses to a higher level, and I felt familiarity and peace with Vera at my side. I lowered the volume and kissed her smooth forehead.

"Are you comfortable?" I rubbed Vera's shoulder.

"Mmm, I am," she purred. Eyes half-closed in a seductive trance, she slowly widened her smile and placed her fingers on my chest. I felt the sting of my chest hair being pulled when she twirled the curls with her fingers.

"Sweetheart, go easy," I warned, tapping her fingers.

She released her tangled finger spin and looked up at me. "Alistair, I feel connected to you."

"I feel the same way." I gazed at Vera and rubbed her smooth, dark nipples, which stiffened and puffed in response.

"There's something you need to know about me," I said. "I need constant stimulation and novelty, such as sex and pornography."

"Oh?"

"You see, I'm very sensitive to sensory stimulation. It calms me, especially when I climax, and the dopamine is released in my brain."

"Has your need for sex and pornography affected previous relationships?" Vera asked.

"Yes, it has. I wasn't the best husband to my ex-wife; I never loved her. I had other women outside that farce of a marriage," I replied. "I also struggled with depression and emotional outbursts."

"I still go to a therapist to deal with my demons," I continued, hoping Vera would accept me, flaws and all.

"I appreciate your honesty," she said, then glanced at my upper back. "By the way, I love the tattoo, the eagle on your left shoulder blade. But that scar next to it-are you willing to open up and tell me about it?"

The warmth of her index finger gently stroking the scar had a relaxing effect, soothing my soul. I felt a cocktail of overwhelmingly powerful emotions: a sweet blend of acceptance, trust, and hope. The anxiety that nipped at my existence started to dissipate.

"Ah, the scar." I sighed, knowing that I couldn't hide the horror from Vera. The words "Psalm 103: 2-5" were inked under the eagle's image; it was a biblical verse on redemption, love, and the eagle.

"The scar is a reminder of a terrible thing that happened when I was a boy," I explained. "One day, I'll tell you more about it. That's why I have the eagle, which symbolizes inspiration, release from bondage, and victory."

I tucked a tendril of hair behind my sweetheart's right ear and couldn't help but notice a scar along the outer edge above the earlobe.

"Vera, what's this?" I asked, tracing the scar.

Her eyes froze and lost their spark. Vera withdrew into an emotional lockdown.

***

"It's a long story," she whispered, bowing her head low.

The lioness had fallen.

"Tell me. I've got all night." I pulled away more hair that curtained her face, placing it on her left shoulder.

"I was abused."

One tear rolled down my goddess's face.

Two tears.

Three tears.

And four.

And another.

Vera's shoulders shook as the tears continued to run.

"Fuck!" I wrapped my arms around her, hoping that tomorrow would be a better day. "I'm sorry, sweetheart. You don't have to talk about it."

"No, I want to talk about it." Defiance shone in her reddened eyes.

There was my girl, the strong and proud lioness. I kissed her forehead and wiped the runaway tears from her cheeks. "I'm here for you. Whatever you tell me stays within these four walls."

"I was in a relationship with a man who hurt me badly. His name is Ace Lockheart."

Vera remained silent for a few seconds, then continued her story. "Ace had outbursts of anger, which he took out on me. First, it was his emotional abuse. Then, he beat me up real bad. The worst beating happened in a hotel room."

I lifted Vera's chin and watched her eyes. They were dark shards of glass, piercing me.

"That's how the scar came to be," she said.

I asked, "What happened to you? Did you get help?"

"Yes, my brother, Julian, and his girlfriend, Sapphire, saved me from the devil."

"What happened to Ace?" My face reddened with anger, and my nostrils flared. I wanted to kill this Ace Lockheart.

"Julian did some damage on the guy." Vera's soft touch landed on my arm, but my heart pounded rapidly, and my facial muscles ticked uncontrollably.

"Please, don't get too invested in me," she pleaded, rubbing my shoulder. "I've seen a therapist, and my emotional scars are healing."

I squeezed Vera's hand and pressed my lips on hers. "I feel...I need to protect you."

"Darling, you don't need to protect me. Let's just enjoy a good time together."

"What do you want? Tell me, love. What do you need?"

"I crave to be touched." Vera pulled me closer and peppered my lips with fresh kisses.

I nodded and pushed my mouth hard against hers, wanting to throw myself into her world. I thrust my tongue, penetrating her rosy, moist mouth.

"I crave you," I murmured between kisses. "I crave you."

I needed this woman. She came raw with her story about abuse tonight, so we weren't too different. I would tell her my sob story, but not now.

***

Vera

One hour later

"Thanks for dropping me off." I kissed Alistair's cheek as we entered Julian's empty apartment.

"No problem. I want you to be safe at home. Is this your apartment? Lovely place. It's tidy too."

"It's my brother's apartment. He's on a business trip for the rest of the week, so I'm crashing here tonight. Unlike me, he's a neat freak."

"Ah." Alistair walked around, inspecting the pristine furniture, and observed the photos near the bookshelf. He craned his neck and tilted his head, eyeing one particular photo of Julian.

"Is this your brother?" His eyes knitted, and his cheeks tightened, twitching ever so slightly.

"Yes, that's Julian."

"Fuck, look at the time." Alistair glanced at his watch. "Look, Vera. Thanks for tonight. Hey, uh-"

"Yeah, listen, I had a great time, but I'm treading carefully with getting into a full-blown relationship."

"Well, that makes two of us. I'm not looking for a relationship, sweetheart. Hey, if you ever need anything...would you like me to call you?"

"That would be nice."

Alistair chuckled and shook his head. My handsome angel seemed perfect to me with his sparkling green eyes, but looks were deceptive.

A minute after he left the apartment, my euphoria hit reality and plummeted into emotional deflation. Maybe I wasn't ready to dive into something so fast.

The thing is, I didn't quite know how to tread with a man like Alistair. He was a player who slept with countless beautiful women. Sex gave me fulfillment, so we weren't too different from each other. It's said that birds of the same feather flock together.

Did Alistair Scott mean what he said, that he wasn't looking for a relationship?

Or that he would call me?

Tears from the post-sex crash rolled down my face. My sexual experience with Alistair had crossed over to something more emotionally profound. My chest heaved blows of longing for a man I couldn't have. He seemed so out of reach.

I was royally screwed.

A/N: I'm shaking my head. These two... Anyway, over to you. Have you ever recklessly let go of your emotions because of that one crush that just got to you?

On another note, what did you think about Alistair's aftercare for Vera at the start of the chapter? Here's a good article if you ever wonder about it: https://www.lelo.com/blog/bdsm-beginners-aftercare/