Chapter 1: Karma

I munched my ham and cheese sandwich as I watched how my sister's weary face turned into a frown while reading my exam result. Naipaliwanag ko na rin naman sa kanya kung bakit ako bumagsak.

I'm only seventeen. I will learn things slowly!

"Bakit gano'n, Ate Sarah?" I asked.

I crouched on the couch. My teacher sister just returned home from school, looking stressed as usual with that messy bun while carrying that long shoulder bag. I directly brought up the result just right after she stepped her one foot inside.

Meh. I don't want to delay it. The result won't change anyway. As well as her reaction to it.

My sister let out a deep sigh. Pinatong niya sa side table ang mahiwagang papel. Napailing pa siya.

"Ewan sa 'yo, Riza. Lagi ka na lang may ibang rason sa tuwing papalya ang mga exam mo," sermon nito.

That's it. That's all.

She's not your strict intimidating teacher. She's a darling. A best friend to all her students. Lucky those kids in first grade I guess.

Nilunok ko ang huling bahagi ng kinakain.

"No!" I blurted out. "You are a teacher, Ate Sarah. You know how to trick the students. Bakit iba ang binibigay niyong exam sa tinuro niyo? That's unfair!"

She bent her knees to remove her black shoes and shoved them into the shoe rack. Nag-abala pa siya ng sandali para ayusin ang mga sapatos kong basta ko na lang tinambak doon.

"We don't spoon-feed everything, Rizaline. We teach the fundamental structure and it's your duty to further the information." Tamad na bumaling ito sa akin ng tingin. "Long story short, you didn't understand the basic structure. That's why."

"Sorry na..." I lowered my voice.

She just shook her head.

"I prepared dinner for us," I grinned.

"Thanks. Still, I prefer a good score." She smiled.

"Awe. Next time!" I outstretched my right hand. "Promise, Ate Sarah!"

"Don't swear, Riza. Just do it."

I smiled. "I will..."

While she's changing her clothes, I went into the kitchen and prepared the dining table. I put quite an effort into arranging the food. I prepared scrambled eggs, overcooked hotdogs which are better in my own taste, ham, and the dipping sauce made from soy sauce, vinegar, onion, and chilly.

I live with my sister, Sarah. My Mom has passed away two years ago, just right after Sarah passed the Licensure Examination for Teachers. Maybe she just really waited to see one of her daughters be successful. Father left us when I was three. Left us to another woman to be more specific. I had no hard feelings for him. Not that I care enough.

Habang nagdi-dinner kami ay binuksan na naman ni Ate Sarah ang topic na ayaw na ayaw kong pinag-uusapan kahit na saan, kahit na kanino. What do you want to do next?

"Ilang buwan pa naman bago ako mag-graduate sa Senior High ah?" dipensa ko habang kumakain ng saging. Sinawsaw ko ito sa mainit na gatas. The taste got even better.

"Rizaline..." She looked so done of me. Binitiwan niya ang kubyertos at uminom ng tubig. I watched how elegant she moves. It all seems calculated. She knows how to pick a glass of water, how to drink it, and how to put it back to its place rightfully.

I frowned. "Maybe Accountancy?"

She got stunned for a moment before bursting out into laughter. She lost her composure for a moment and unintentionally spilled the water over the table. But that didn't stop her ecstatic laugh.

"We are talking about numbers here, Riza!" aniya habang pinupunasan ang lamesa.

"And?" I rose my eyebrows. "Lagi mo akong tinatanong kung ano ang gusto kong kunin sa college. Now that I already have the answer, tinawanan mo lang."

"Seryoso ka ba talaga?"

"No."

"You know what?" Tumayo na ito at nag-umpisang ligpitan ang mga pinagkainan namin. "Let's not just talk about it. For Pete's sake, Rizaline. You despised Math!"

I chuckled. "Well, the more you hate, the more you love."

"Ikaw na ang maghugas ng mga plato. Marami pa akong gagawin."

"Okay..."

Bumaling ito uli sa akin bago umalis. Napailing pa ito.

Yeah. I suck at numbers. I suck even more when it's mixed with letters.

Pagkatapos kong mahugasan ang mga pinagkainan at nalinis ang kusina ay pumunta na ako sa living room. Nadatnan ko si Ate Sarah na tutok sa kanyang laptop. May mga smiley emoticon sticker sa likod ng kanyang laptop na nilagay ko dati.

Kinuha ko ang test paper ko sa side table at pumasok na sa kwarto ko. There were two rooms in this house. My Mother and I used to sleep in the same room, here. This is my room now and I sleep here alone. But sometimes, I sleep with my sister, especially when the sky above my ceiling was crashing and roaring.

I sat on the chair and put down the test paper on the nightstand. Tinitigan ko ang kulay pulang marka roon. I scanned the questions and my answers. Every one right answer comes five wrong ones.

Babawi ako next time!

Next time— an excuse for not doing your best today.

Umilaw ang cell phone ko na naka-charge. A message from Camila, one of my few friends, appeared on the screen. I put my index finger on the scanner of my phone to unlock it.

Camila: Girl napakita mo na?

She's talking about the result.

Me: Ofc.

Camila: Saem! Ansabe ni Teacher Sarah?

Me: As usual

Camila: Gaga ka kasi e. Sabi ko sa 'yo mag kodigo ka rin.

I winced with her reply. She passed the exam by cheating. Kinuha niya ang mga sagot sa kabilang klase na naunang nag-exam sa amin at patago niya 'yong kinopya. Viola! She passed.

Me: Ffs never. Goodnight babes.

Camila: Bish. Cheat next time. Gn.

Binitiwan ko na ang cell phone ko at ginawa ang night routine. Naghilamos at sinuot ang kulay pink na pangtulog. Habang nakahiga sa kama at nagpapaantok ay nag-scroll ako sa Facebook newsfeed.

I stopped scrolling when a new notification popped in: Riverside University has a recent post! It is the official Facebook page of our school where they update us about what's happening. Not that I care. I just liked the page because we are required to.

Bago ko pa pindutin 'yon ay alam ko na kung ano ito.

I was right!

Top Achiever of The Month: SSG President, Ulrich Damian Delgado

Overall score: 98%

Followed by our Supreme Student Government Vice President, Hailey Rieta. She scored 89%. Still impressing knowing, no one stood a chance to beat Ulrich when it comes to academic performances.

The post got two thousand heart reactions, and hundreds of congratulations from the teachers and admirers, and also outsiders.

Only Hailey acknowledged everyone.

As usual, not a word from Ulrich.

His cold attitude is giving me an eerie feeling. Cool boy yan?

I bit my bottom lip as I reacted to the post. Angry!

Really? There's no way Ulrich is always at the top. It's quite suspicious knowing his father is one of the heads there. Just like what Camila did, he could have cheated, too. I mean, no one will know.

For fuck's sake, stop being bitter, Riza! I nudged myself.

The angry reaction didn't satisfy me.

I also commented: "Sana all magaling mag cheat!"

Hindi pa rin ako nakuntento kaya in-edit ko uli ang comment ko.

"Sana all magaling mag cheat! Sana all isa sa mga officials ng school ang Daddy para laging top achiever!"

I edited it for the last time

"Sana all magaling mag cheat! Sana all isa sa mga officials ng school ang Daddy para laging top achiever! Daddy Delgado baka naman!"

I smirked. It was a joke, but I didn't expect my comment to blow up. It got hundreds of reactions too, leading by an army of angry admirers. I also got replies. Some are laughing while some think it is that serious.

I edited my comment for the last time. Sure na talaga.

"Sana all magaling mag cheat! Sana all isa sa mga officials ng school ang Daddy para laging top achiever! Daddy Delgado baka naman! Thanks for the 123 reax. Bye."

I locked my phone again and placed it on the nightstand. In-off ko na rin ang ilaw at tinaas ang kumot hanggang sa aking dibdib. I just found myself smirking before I fell asleep.

I've had the best sleep of my life!

May kutob akong maganda ang araw na ito. I mean, hindi lang naman maganda ang araw ko kapag kulang sa tulog.

As usual, sabay kami ni Ate Sarah na pumasok. Sa Riverside din naman siya nagtuturo pero malayo sa akin. Sa sobrang laki ng school ay bihira lang kami magkita. This school is for rich kids which clearly I am not. Nakapasok lang naman ako dahil kay Ate Sarah at dahil teacher siya ay may discount.

"Gaga ka talaga, Riza!" salubong sa akin ni Camila nang maabutan ako sa locker room. Napagitla pa ako dahil nauna pa ang batok nito kesa sa pagsasalita.

"Aray naman, bestie! Baka mabobo ako sa kakabatok mo!" singhal ko.

"Tanga. Kailan ka pa tumalino?"

I just ignored her. I put some of my books inside the locker. When I say some, almost.

"Delete mo nga 'yung comment mo sa post!" aniya pa.

"Post?" patay-malisya kong tanong.

Inakto pa niyang babatukan ako pero mabilis kong hinarang ang bag ko. Napangiwi ako. Hindi na nga gaanong gumagana utak ko, aalugin pa niya.

"It's not that serious, Cams.." I almost rolled my eyes.

"It is!"

"Really?" Napaisip naman ako.

Dumiretso ang tingin ko sa babaeng naglalakad papunta sa direksyon namin. Napaayos kami ng tayo ni Camila.

"Good morning, Vice President," bati ko.

"Ms. Chavez, right?" she asked, politely.

Unlike President Ulrich, Miss Hailey is friendly. With those thick eyeglasses and piled books on her hands, you can't expect a nerdy-looking girl like her to be this approachable. I mean, nerdy girls in books are introverts. She's not. You can invite her to your party and expect her to appear in front of your door with her books.

I cleared my throat. "I am..."

"Good morning. I just find your reply on RU's page quite offensive." She gave us a timid smile. "If you wouldn't mind, can you remove it? You are also gaining haters because of that."

"She will!" Hinawakan ni Camila ang braso ko at bahagyang pinisil. "Hindi ba, Riza?"

"Are you speaking on behalf of Mr. Delgado?" I asked.

"Riza... please?" pabulong na awat ni Camila.

"I just want to know..." I smiled.

Nakangiting umiling si Hailey. "No. Not at all. I'm just—"

"Hindi ba dapat siya ang lalapit sa akin para humingi ng favor?"

"It's fine!" Tumawa si Camila. "Ide-delete na rin 'yon ni Rizaline, Miss Vice President. Thank you for your concern. Have a good day. Goodbye!"

Hinila na ako ni Camila palayo roon. Pumunta kami sa gym at pabagsak na inupo ako ni Camila sa bleacher. Bumuntonghininga pa ito bago pumalad sa akin.

"Your phone..." she requested.

Kinapa ko ang cell phone ko sa bulsa. Natigilan ako nang hindi 'yon makapa. Saka ko lang napagtanto na nakalimutan kong kunin 'yon sa nightstand sa kwarto.

"Uhmm..."

"Fine!" Kinuha niya ang kanyang cell phone sa bulsa at inabot 'yon sa akin. "Log in your account."

"I-I forgot my password—"

"Oh, come on—"

"It's not that serious!" muli kong dipensa. "Jesus. It was clearly a joke. Bakit ang big deal no'n? Kung hindi totoo, e 'di hindi!"

Out of all the praises he got just in that particular post, why would he focus on the negative one? Sigurado naman ako na walang pakialam si Ulrich. Baka nga hindi niya rin alam ang tungkol sa comment na 'yon e.

"Fine!" She slid her phone back into her pocket. "Ewan kasi sa 'yo, Riza. Bakit mo ico-comment 'yon? You sounded like a bitter hater and jealous of his achievement!"

Humalakhak ako. "Jealous?"

"You failed, remember?" she smirked.

"You just cheated to pass, remember?" I retorted.

"Hush!" Pinanlakihan niya ako ng mga mata. "Tara na nga! Baka mag-umpisa na ang first subject natin."

The day has barely started and I don't already like the happenings. Habang naglalakad kami sa hallway papunta sa classroom ay pinagtitinginan kami, o ako lang, at pagkatapos ay pagbubulungan.

Don't tell me it still is about that damn comment?

I suddenly wish I had my phone with me. Seryoso naman ako nung sinabi kong nakalimutan ko ang password ng Facebook account ko. I changed it last week and I forgot it already. Nasa memo naman 'yon ng phone ko.

The first subject had passed peacefully. It was a relief. I don't know why I suddenly feel anxious. Pakiramdam ko ay bigla na lang may mangyayaring hindi maganda.

I guess I already know why.

"Miss Chavez?" Miss Dorothea, the teacher of the subject which exam I failed, called me out. She just literally stepped her right foot inside the classroom and the first thing she did was to call me out like that.

The audacity? Joke.

"Yes, Miss?" I stood up.

"You've got the lowest score last exam," she told me as she prepared her book over the table.

I heard chuckles around.

"I guess?" I shrugged my shoulders.

"Meet in me the faculty later," she replied.

"Okay. Miss." I sat down.

Huminga ako nang malalim. I guess that's better. Kahit na sermonan niya ako ay ayos lang. At least she is still considerate enough not to do it in front of everyone.

"Bitter ka ba kay Ulrich, Riza?" tanong ng isa sa mga kaklase ko.

"That's a joke," I said, stopping my eyes to roll.

Do I really need to say this every now and then?

"That's still an accusation," epal na naman ng isa. "Do you have proof that will prove that Ulrich cheated? If not, that's not good. Dinawit mo pa ang Daddy niya. Pwede ka niyang kasuhan—"

"Holy shit. Pwede na palang makasuhan sa pag-joke?" I blurted out.

"That's a serious matter."

"Yeah. Whatever."

Kasuhan? As if!

Nangatog ang mga tuhod ko. I really think I need to delete my comment as soon as possible. Kapag siguro nawala na 'yon ay lalamig na ang ulo nila sa akin.

Yeah. Right. I will delete it probably later on lunch break.

Across the room, Camila was staring at me in disbelief. She even shook her head.

Finally, Lunch Break!

"Three more attempts," I said.

I stopped trying to input my password and focused first on my pancake. Here we are in the cafeteria. Camila ordered a heavy meal. Hindi naman ako gutom kaya burger, pancake at fruit shake lang ang akin. It's still a lot but not as heavy as hers.

"Lesson learned. Don't fuck with Mr. President," Camila teased.

"You mean his admirers?" I rolled my eyes for the twentieth time today. "If my comment was offensive, why the admins of the page didn't just delete it?"

Seriously? They should have deleted it themselves.

"No. They don't delete such comments, Riza." Sumimsim sa orange juice si Camila. Tapos na itong kumain habang ako ay halos makalahati pa lang ang pancake. "You are allowed to express your opinion about something but that doesn't mean you are free from criticisms."

I put down my fork. "Susubukan ko..."

Fortunately, my fourth attempt to input my password was a success. Nanlaki ang mga mata ko nang makita ang mga pulang numero sa notification icon ko.

"Oh, my God!" I blurted out.

"Bombarded?" Ngumisi si Camila.

"I-I need to delete that now..." I told myself.

"Dapat lang!"

I didn't bother to open the notifications anymore, I went directly to the page and deleted my comment. Pero kalat na sa comment box ang screenshot ng comment ko.

"I can see regret in your eyes, Miss Chavez," panggagatong pa ni Camila sabay tawa. "Sinabi ko na kasi sa 'yong i-delete mo na kanina pa eh. Hay naku!"

I nibbled my bottom lip. Ulrich's admirers stalked my account to put an angry reaction on every post I have. Even on my profile picture. Mabuti na lang at naka-private ang comment section.

I immediately logged out of my account and return the phone to Camila.

"That's absurd!" I said.

"I know..."

"Ewan. Lilipas din 'yan." Uminom na lang ako sa fruitshake.

Yeah. After a day or two, huhupa rin ang issue na ito. Gano'n naman lahat e.

"Have you seen the confessions, Riza?" tanong ni Camila na nakatutok din sa kanyang cell phone. "They are all talking about you. They call you names such as bitter, jealous, the b word, and more..."

"Just... stop."

My eyes darted at the guy who just entered the cafeteria. Just like those cool guys in novels, he was walking while hands inside the pocket of his slacks. Dumiretso ito sa nagbebenta ng fruitshake.

I could see the girls secretly taking a picture of him.

After getting himself a drink, he also walked out.

"See? He doesn't care at all," I muttered.

"Basta. Huwag mo nang uulitin 'yon ah?" paalala ni Camila.

I hate to admit it but she's right. Hindi dahil walang pakialam si Ulrich sa sinasabi ng iba ay gano'n na rin ang mga tagahanga niya. Right. I should stay away from him and his admirers.

Because of the backlash, I was getting from that comment, I almost forgot about Miss Dorothea. Patakbo akong pumunta sa faculty. Naabutan ko ito sa kanyang desk at tutok sa kanyang laptop.

"Miss?" untag ko.

"Akala ko ay hindi ka sisipot." She showed me her laptop. Out of the black passing marks, there's one imposter among them. It was my name in bold red color. Nice.

Though red is one of my favorite colors, I don't appreciate my name in it.

"Masyadong mababa ang grade mo, Miss Chavez. Sinubukan ko kung mababawi sa mga quizzes at homeworks pero hindi pa rin kaya. Kapag pumalya ka pa sa next exam ay mapipilitan akong i-delay ang graduation mo at ilagay ka sa summer class."

No way!

"Ano po ang dapat kong gawin?" tanong ko.

She confronted me. "You need to get an average of 80% and above on the next examination. Iyon lang ang paraan para makabawi ka at masama ang pangalan mo sa mga candidates for graduation. Or else... Summer Class is waving at you."

That's the worst! I am not talking about the summer class but the thought that I won't experience the graduation ceremony. Kapag pumasa ako sa summer class ay diploma lang ang iaabot sa akin. Hindi na ako maglalakad sa red carpet, no celebration at mas lalong lagot ako kay Ate Sarah.

"Do you understand, Miss Chavez?"

"Y-yes, Miss Dorothea..."

Bumuntonghininga ito. "The next exam is next week. Ngayon pa lang ay sinasabi ko na sa 'yo. Naging magkaibigan din naman kami ni Ma'am Sarah pero hindi ibig sabihin no'n ay babalewalain ko na ang kapabayaan mo. This is your last chance, Miss Chavez. Please make it work in your favor."

I gulped. "I get it. Thank you po."

"Good. That's all. Good luck."

Masyado akong lutang habang naglalakad palabas ng faculty. May nabangga pa akong teacher kaya humingi ako ng paumanhin. Hindi pa rin mag-sink in sa isipan ko na maaari akong mag summer class.

Pagkalabas ng faculty room ay natulala ako.

Ano na ang gagawin ko?

"I see..." a familiar voice said.

My lips slightly parted when I saw Ulrich leaning against the wall. Nakapasok sa bulsa ang isang kamay at ang isa ay hawak ang fruit shake habang sa malayo ang tingin. Gano'n pa man ay alam kong ako ang tinutukoy niya.

"What?" I asked.

"I call that karma," he said without even bothering to look at me.

Natigilan ako. So, I guess he's aware after all.

Lumingon siya sa akin. Hindi ko pa gaanong maproseso na kausap ko siya at alam niya ang mga nangayayari ay sunod naman niya akong nilapitan.

He stood right in front of me. Matikas at mabango.

Kinailangan kong tumingala para kitain ang kanyang mga mata.

Lumunok ako bago nagsalita. "It was a joke, Mr. President."

"Maybe if you studied harder instead of being bitter on someone else's achievement, you could have at least passed your exam."

Tuluyan na akong hindi nakapagsalita.

He leaned towards me. Kinuha niya ang kamay ko at binigay sa 'kin ang fruit shake niya.

"This is a warning, Miss Chavez. Sa susunod na mahuli pa kitang hindi mo suot ang ID mo, hindi lang sa subject ikaw babagsak." Mas nilapit niya ang mukha sa akin. "Pati sa office ko..."

Just like that, he walked away.

Napatingin ako sa fruit shake na binigay ni Ulrich. Walang laman.

Napakapa ako sa dibdib ko. Wala akong makapa.

Natulala na lang ako.