He should have realised Ivy would be in attendance. If Sam was honest with himself, he had probably hoped she would be and that he might glimpse her through a window as she enjoyed the events of the house party. He hadn't expected to run into her in the library while the ball was in full swing, but trust Ivy to go exploring while her peers danced and imbibed in the ballroom.

With a groan, he fished up the book that had fallen to the floor and sat back down in the armchair. He wasn't sure how long he had stared unseeingly at the pages when the library door opened again. A blonde woman and dark-haired man tumbled inside, their limbs wrapped around each other and their lips locked. For a second, he thought it might be Ivy showing him exactly how much she didn't care. But the woman soon looked up when they realised they weren't alone, and she was not anyone he knew. The man, however, was.

"Hemsworth!" Dash exclaimed as he caught sight of him. "Holy hell, I did not see you there."

"Obviously," Sam muttered.

The other man watched him silently for a moment, his eyes narrowing shrewdly. Sam had recently come to the conclusion that Dash wasn't nearly as oblivious and carefree as he usually appeared. Not quite to the levels of Sam's employer, Lord Winter, who was a clever man masquerading as a pleasant but dull fool around the ton. But Dash's constant good cheer hid a man who saw more than he usually let on.

The other man leaned down and whispered something in his companion's ear, and the corners of her mouth dropped, but she nodded and left the library. After closing the door behind her, Dash sauntered across the room with an amused grin on his face.

"Should you be doing that?" Sam asked, nodding towards the door. "Seems risky."

"Part of the excitement." Dash chuckled. Walking over to a cupboard, he opened it. "I do believe my brother keeps some decent whisky in here. Ah yes."

Bringing out a decanter and two tumblers, he came over to Sam and sat down on the matching armchair on the other side of a small table. Pouring some whisky, he nudged one glass towards Sam before taking a sip of his own.

Sam eyed the glass for a second before picking it up. "Don't let me keep you from your 'entertainment'," he muttered.

Dash laughed. "You're not. I will meet her later." He raised his dark eyebrows and levelled Sam with eyes glittering with a mixture of amusement and interest. "What have you looking so gloomy?"

When Sam didn't immediately answer, he continued, "Could it perhaps be related to a particular young lady I saw returning to the ballroom with a certain... glow on her cheeks?"

"I suspect that was anger." Sam took a sip of the whisky, enjoying the rich, smoky flavour.

"Anger. Passion." Dash shrugged. "They're closely related."

"She's definitely angry."

"Nothing a good..." Dash silenced at Sam's glare, but still grinned. "Just saying."

"Not everything in life can be solved by..." Sam made a face and motioned to the other man. "That."

"Ah, but that's where you're wrong." Dash took another sip of his drink, and for a moment his glib facade slipped as he stared at the amber liquid in his glass. "It's the perfect distraction."

Sam didn't know Dash or his circumstances well enough, but there was obviously something—or someone—he was trying to distract himself from. Not wanting to pry unless the other man offered to share, he took a sip of his own drink before replying. "Ivy is not a distraction. But her family has warned me to stay away, and with her new circumstances—" He shrugged.

"To hell with her circumstances!" Dash's exclamation nearly made Sam jump. "If you love the girl, don't wait for the perfect time to tell her. Don't dally, or you might lose her forever."

Anger sparked in him. "You don't understand," he said, his voice low as he tried to contain his temper. "You may not have a title, but your brother is a duke. Even as a second son, you have prospects. I have nothing to offer her. Even if she would have me, I could never ask her to give up everything to be with me. I work for a living, and even if I retired to the countryside and used all my savings to buy a small home, it's nothing compared to the life she can have if she marries well."

Dash raised a dark eyebrow, unfazed by his outburst. "Isn't your father a viscount?"

"Yes." Sam sighed, deflated. "But as a bastard, it means little to nothing. I've definitely had opportunities other men of my station would not have, but there's also the stigma. The villagers where I grew up were not kind, and it is not as if the ton would ever accept me as one of them."

"They seem quite taken with Ivy," Dash mused.

How could they not be? She was lovely. Sam cleared his throat as he tried to steer his thoughts elsewhere. "Yes, from what I'm hearing, they have taken it on as some great love story between her parents. They love a good bit of drama in their gossip. What's better than a long-lost love child? Trust me, my story is much less appealing to the crowd."

Dash chuckled. "Hers does make for a good story. I guess it proves that a good love story will make everyone forget about everything else. My money is on her being a grand success during the season in a few months."

It took Sam a moment to realise he was gripping the glass too hard. Releasing his hold, he set the whisky down next to the book he'd been unable to focus on since Ivy showed up. He wanted her to have every success during the London season. Wanted her to marry well and have a wonderful life. But he also selfishly didn't. There was a part of him that desperately wanted to make her his. But how could he steal her away from a bright future when he had so little to offer?

He could have married a country gentleman's daughter. But a viscount's daughter? The granddaughter of an earl? No, she was far out of his reach by now.

"Why don't you stay here for a few days?" Dash suggested as he stood and drained his glass. "I'm sure Winterbourne won't mind. There's a masquerade ball in a few days. You could join in and no one would be the wiser."

"So your suggestion is to keep torturing myself by being near her?"

"It's what we all do."

And with that cryptic comment, Dash left the library, leaving Sam alone with his misery. Should he stay? He wasn't sure. No, that wasn't true. He was quite certain it was nothing but self-flagellation to stick around and watch her being courted by other men, but he also was not quite ready to never see her again. The last few months without her had not been easy, and he had regretted his decision every day and every night. Sleep had been scarce as he had remembered the note she sent him, confirming his stance that she was no longer in his grasp.

'We can never be equals.'

How correct she was. She may have admitted to sending it in anger and hurt, but it made it no less true. He really ought to leave to make it easier on both of them.

The decision on whether to leave or not was quickly taken out of his hands when the next morning brought a fresh sheet of snow to the grounds. Even the Duke of Winterbourne told him to stay and wait until the roads were clear before travelling. One did not argue with a duke. Especially not one that was the size of a regular barn door. Having nothing else to do after discussing the case he was working on with the duke in the morning, Sam put on his warm greatcoat and walked the grounds of the estate. It was a clear but chilly day and his walking stick left evenly spaced holes next to his footsteps in the snow.

Since he wasn't a regular guest or part of the party, he stayed away from the areas where the ladies and gentlemen were enjoying outdoor activities. Some were ice skating on the pond while sipping on warm mulled wine served by two servants. He ventured close enough that he could watch as Ivy skated next to her friends, Miss Newton and Miss Burton. Unsurprisingly, she was an excellent skater. He could well imagine her skating on the lake outside Tilbury every winter as a child.

He tensed as two gentlemen skated up next to them and began conversing, but relaxed when he recognised Ravenscroft and Dash. This was ridiculous. He wanted her to make a good match, so why did he react like he wanted to rush in and punch anyone who dared look at her too fondly? It would be best if the snow melted soon and he could leave because he obviously could not act reasonably around Ivy.

The sound of snow crunching below boots made him turn his head. Lord Gabriel Winter nodded in greeting as he came to stand next to him.

"I didn't realise you were in attendance," Sam said, turning back to look at the skaters.

"The whole Howerty clan is here." Lord Winter was married to one of the Howerty sisters, and the Duke of Winterbourne to another. "This event is a perfect opportunity for them all to get together. I didn't expect to see you here, though."

"Winterbourne asked me to drop off some documents for the case we're working on, and with the snow, he suggested I wait to travel back a few days."

"Good plan. I have a feeling we will get more snow in the next day or two."

Sam nearly groaned. More time to watch Ivy from afar and wish he could be there with her. Not that he could have skated, but he could have shared a mug of mulled wine with her and laughed about how terrible some of the other people out on the ice were.

"May I ask why you're lurking behind this tree?"

Whipping his head around to see Winter's amused look, Sam shrugged. "It's not my crowd, but I..." His words faltered. He what? Wanted to spy on the woman he could never have?

"Don't worry." Winter chuckled. "Your secret is safe with me. I take it the lady in question is the one you met in Tilbury?"

"Am I that obvious?"

"Only to someone who has known you for years." Winter smiled wryly. "And probably anyone who catches you hiding behind this tree like a Peeping Tom. Maybe try to skulk a little less."

A laugh escaped him. "I will try."

They chatted for a few moments longer as Sam inquired about Winter's family and their well-being before parting ways. With a last look at Ivy on the ice, Sam turned and continued his walk across the grounds. Winterbourne Hall had an impressive hedge maze, and he'd always enjoyed exploring them. The fresh air and icy winds seemed to help clear his mind. He could do this. He'd left Ivy once before, and he could do it again. It was for her best. For her future.

With so many people milling about the extensive lawns and gardens, he didn't react to the approaching footsteps following him into the maze until Ivy's voice froze his steps.

"Are you spying on me?"

He turned around to see her striding towards him between the frost-tipped evergreens of the maze, her cheeks pink from the icy bite of the cold and her blue eyes flashing. She was so beautiful at that moment that he had to grip his walking stick tighter to keep from reaching out to her.

Not wanting to lie to her—at least not directly—he tried to reply calmly, "Not exactly. Because of the snow, I'm here a few more days, and I happened to see you on the ice."

"Try to stay away, please." She crossed her arms over her chest and raised her chin slightly. "I'm trying to get over you, and it's difficult if you're always around."

He had to hide a smile behind his gloved hand. She was always so bluntly honest. It was one of the things he loved so dearly about her. In a profession where he discovered people's deepest, darkest secrets regularly, it was a rare sight to see someone so open with how they felt.

"I'm sorry," he said. "I will try my best to stay out of your way. Wouldn't want to distract you from your efforts of ridding me from your thoughts."

"Stop being so accommodating!" She huffed. "I can never stay angry with you because you're always so... so damn polite!"

"Do you wish me to be rude?"

"No. No, of course not." She sighed, and her shoulders slumped, making him feel like an arse for teasing her. "But this is hard. I... I cared for you, Sam. I thought you felt the same, but your choices prove otherwise."

The truthful words hit him square in the chest, and his heart clenched when her honest gaze met his. "I've been trying to forget you since you left Tilbury," she continued. "And it's not been easy. Seeing you here... It's making it harder."

He wanted nothing more than to take the steps separating them and pull her into his arms. "I can understand that," he said quietly, his breath misting in the cold air. "And I truly am sorry for hurting you."

"See, this is what I mean." She smiled, but it didn't quite reach her eyes the way it usually did. "You say all the right things, and I can't rightfully keep berating you."

"Would you feel better if you could?"

"I don't know. Maybe?"

He moved slightly, shifting his weight off his prosthetic. "Then go ahead. Rant and rave at me. Tell me what an absolute arse I am for letting you go. Trust me, it's not anything I have not done myself."

A line appeared between her brows. "Then why, Sam?"

"You know why." He wished he could make her understand. If he felt he could offer her a life worthy of her, he wouldn't have hesitated for a second, but telling her so would only hurt her further. It was easier for both of them if she believed he had chosen money over her.

"In..." She hesitated for a moment, her cheeks darkening. "In your room... That last night."

He swallowed, knowing full well how selfish his actions had been. Nodding for her to continue, he steeled himself for what words would come next.

"You knew you were never planning to come back for me, and yet you... we..."

When she faltered again, he cut in, not needing her to say it aloud. "I know. I'm sorry. Despite everything, Ivy, I always wanted you and I had a moment of weakness." He'd wanted something to remember her by. A memory to warm his dark, lonely nights.

She shrugged again. "I suppose I should be relieved you refused to ruin me properly."

A vision of her in bed with her blonde hair spilling across his sheets nearly made him groan. He would have given anything for that. To make her his. But not her future. He couldn't sacrifice that. A future that was so much brighter without him in it.

"It's cold," he muttered, needing this conversation to end. "You should return for some mulled wine or go inside."

A huff of frustration escaped her, but she nodded before spinning around and leaving him alone in the frozen maze. Fighting the immediate urge to follow her, he remained where he was. It was nothing more than he deserved.

~~~~~~