Frankie

"You do realise this isn't a 'go face your enemies' kind of thing right. I'm talking about getting your diploma. This is graduation, you can't just miss that." Kingsley finished over the phone.

I sighed and wiped my paint covered hands on my apron.

"It's not that I don't want to come, it's that graduation ceremonies are supposed to be an event where you stand with not only your family, but your friends look at  you and stand together saying 'we mad it'. I'd be the only one there with no friends, especially after what happened last time. Besides, Iv'e already graduated, I don't need to be there. I'm not ready to face all of them again." 

"I don't want  to force you if you don't want to, but it's been two weeks. The final stage of getting over a breakup is accepting the fact that he hurt you and get over it. You need to accept the fact that you've been hurt not only by Zayn, but by all your friends; I know deep down you have. Graduation is one of the key moments of your life. You can't miss that." 

I looked at my finished painting; trying to see what else I could include. Something was missing, but I didn't know what it was. But then my mind pondered back to Kingsley who was on the other line. If I did go, I'd be receiving my diploma and enjoying one of the key moments in my life, yes. But I would be severely embarrassed and drained at the same time, because I hadn't seen the whole school for two weeks, and I'd now be going to meet the stares and whispers. However, if I didn't go I'd be at home being at one with myself, but I would never be able to fully heal and accept the fact that I was going to see everyone for the last and never again. Kingsley was right. It was better to get it done and over with.

"Fine." I sighed.

"You're coming?! Yes! I'll pick you up at 1, it starts at 2 and we need to be there earlier to take our robes and all that."

"Alright. I best go and get sleep then. Its 3am." I laughed.

"I know, but I knew you'd be awake. You've happened to be up these past few days at this hour."

We said our last few 'see you later's' and I hung up.

I took the painting of the easel and walked to the slightly filled  corner on the right. The struggle to find the perfect position for the new painting was skyrocketing. I hardly painted anything for this corner so I didn't understand why it was so crammed. I swept away a few sketches and paintings to one side, looking through to see what I would and wouldn't keep. I might as well have done some cleaning while I was down there.

I saw a few amateur sketches I had done in my first to second year of discovering art. I laughed at a few and put them aside; I would get rid of them later.

A few minutes into my art cleaning, I stumbled across three identical drawings. The only problem with them was, I don't remember working on them. One drawing had a colourful back ground, but had  what looked to be two human hearts bound together with in a tight rope. The two hearts had nails, blood, and band aids all over them. The second was the same thing but black and white, and the last had a sepia them to it. The similarities between the two hearts were the bulging veins, blood, band aids and nails stabbed into them. My heart started to thump, as I tried to think of a day or time I had drawn this.

And then I noticed the extremely faint z.m in the bottom corner of the pages.

* *

"Relax okay, the ceremony is three hours, and your sister and Zac are going to be there, and your grandma and mum are coming later today. You are surrounded by people who want your best okay, don't freak out." Kingsley coo'd.

"I know, I know. I'm just worried about what every one is going to think when I get there."

"Fuck them. You look great and you're strong. You can do this."

I thank'ed him, pulling the passenger mirror down to check one more time that I looked good. I had a little help from Sacari to put together a last minute outfit, but it looked amazing. I was wearing one of her tight white dresses, since Kingsley texted me earlier to alert me that the theme was all white, with nude pumps and I blew my hair out, leaving it straight and long down my back. I had gone for just mascara and nude lipstick to finish everything out.

I was slightly upset that my grandma and mother wouldn't be there for the ceremony, but I had only decided I was going in the early hours of the morning, so I called them at around six, and they said the earliest they could be was 5:30 to 6 and they would stay for three days. However, Sacari and Zac would be there so I got over the disappointment fairly quickly.

"We're here." Kingsley parked in the school parking lot. It was 1:06 and the parking lot was slightly busy. Students were littered all across, but not too much, so I knew some were also inside already. I felt my chest thump slightly at the look of everyone so happy and completely bothered; surrounded by the friends who were going to be with them for a very long time. Not saying I didn't appreciate Kingsley's friendship, but it would have been nice to be surrounded by my beginning friends also. But they were never even my friends to start with.

"Are you ready?" Kingsley buzzed.

"Man what if-" 

"There's no what if. It's now or never. Do it now and finish faze 7. Acceptance." 

I looked at him for about a minute before I nodded my head slowly, agreeing with him. He opened the door and stepped out of the car; slowly I followed,  stepping out through my side.  I knew I was being stared at, but I tried not to think about it as I reached into the car and grabbed my purse. I met Kingsley at the other side and walked next to him through the parking lot. 

I felt like a weird creature in a museum that everyone gazed at. I ignored the wondering eyes, looking at one thing and one thing only. The door. The more I neared the door, the redder my cheeks got and I found myself praying there wasn't a bucket of punch waiting for me there too.

A sudden sense of deja-vu overwhelmed me and I was thrown back to my first day. The looks I got were vast because people had heard I was foreign. But this time the gazes were for a different reason.

Before I knew it, we had entered the hall way, and were nearing the gym where we would take our robes and at 1:45 we would go to the field, which would lead to the ceremony beginning at 2. I felt a small pool in my eyes once we arrived at the gym due to my overflow of emotions, but also due to the fact that this was the place I had my heart broken and was brutally embarrassed. 

Just when I thought the speculations couldn't get any worse, the gym quieted down a bit too as we walked through the crowded space. The murmurs and occasionally loud laughs were still evident, but there was no denying that I was a work of curiosity in that moment.

A chorus of  'What's she doing here?' and 'She has so much courage coming back here' could be heard every little once in a while, which made me bow my head down even lower. As soon as we had found a small place to sit at, some people stopped looking at me and others stopped murmuring and conversed louder than before, which I was grateful for. I noticed that almost everyone was in white, but our robes and caps which were on hangers were a royal blue colour. 

"I have to go see a few friends, but I'll be back in ten minutes at most." Kingsley declared after a while of sitting in silence.

I nodded with a fake smile. I couldn't force him to stay, especially when he had other people to see; I wasn't his only friend.

When he left, I pulled out my phone rapidly and looked for a game that would keep me busy, but would make others think I had more to do than sit and stare. I busied myself with colour switch and piano tiles for a while until Kingsley returned saying the girls were wanted to find their robes. I nodded and gave him my purse to hold, saying I would come back for it later, and I walked to the other side of the room where the other girls were. 

Kingsley

I never took my eyes of Frankie until I saw her myself disappear into the cue of about roughly four-hundred girls. I knew she was nervous about coming, especially with all the embarrassment that would follow up, but I also knew that if she didn't do it, she'd never put it to rest. I was broken from my thoughts when a pair of hands clamped on my shoulders. I looked behind me to find one of my good friends Jamie in white jeans and a white shirt. 

"Well well well, who would've ever thought it'd be Oakland who went after Malik's ex girl." he smirked.

"I didn't go after her, she's only a friend." I replied.

"That's what the guy usually says when they're fucking. When did you cuff her?" 

"What? What are you on about? She's just my mate I told you." I grew frustrated.

"Okay fam, cool it. I just wanted to make sure. I mean don't look now, but there's Horan and Styles right now." he pointed.

I flinched and turned to the direction he signaled at making my eyes grow wide at the sight of the two out of five of the males I knew that frightened me. Niall had laughed at something Harry had said, which made my blood boil. After all this, did they not feel an ounce of remorse.

"Wait, if they're here, that means-"

"Yeah. . . they're all here. Don't make it obvious, but Thirlwall and Edwards at one o'clock."

I turned a little bit to the right, facing the girls cue again, but this time I finally noticed the almost white hair and harsh blue eyes of a girl I'd hated since day one, and a chestnut coloured hair girl who I had bonded with through Frankie. 

"Shit." I groaned, running a hand through my hair in frustration. 

Jamie patted my back along with a faint 'Good luck', before jumping over the bench and walking in another direction.

I looked away from Frankie for a split second, but when I looked back I saw her frustrated glare as Jade looked to be muttering something to her. Immediately, Frankie spun in her heels and looked forwards once more, waiting for her turn to get her cap and gown.

* *

Frankie

"Francesca love, can I have a second?" Principal Grey asked as I was next in line.

"Of course." I smiled at her, once I had taken my robe and cap.

She led me to a less crowded area and sat me down on a bench.

"So there have been six new students this year in your year including you, and I have had a popular request by my fellow staff members that all new-comers must prepare a few words for the ceremony after the diplomas are handed. What do you say?" she asked hopefully.

Mentally, I was shaking my head a no, because I didn't want to attract too much attention to myself.

"Principal Grey, I don't really know. . ."

"Please think on it, it would be a real honor if we could get all six of you to say a few words about your first and last year in our school."

I thought for a minute, but had no time to give her a straight answer, because she got up and walked to another direction, probably to find another student to talk to. I wasn't coming back to this hell hole so I might as well have done it. I got up, picking my items of the bench, but I froze in place when I spun around and was met with the frosty blue eyes I had grown to trust over the past year. It was silent for a minute until Niall spoke.

"You look beautiful." he pointed. 

Anger filled my senses as I stared him down, a frown sewn onto my face. I looked behind him only and only then did I notice Liam by his side. I glared at the two of them and stormed away from in front of them without a word. I had already come eye to eye with Jade and Perrie, and now I was looking at Liam and Niall.  How dare they? For all I knew this could be another mind trick into me forgiving them, and end up getting myself hurt again. This would not end well for me; I just knew it.

I sat at Kingsley's side again, trying to control my wavy breathing. 

"Are you alright? I saw you and Jade-"

"Can you believe that after everything her and her friends have put me through, she still has the nerve to tell me that she wasn't even involved! And then Perrie stands by her side with a s-stupid grin on her face, looks me up and down tells me I look trash." I almost yelled, more angry than upset.

"And then Niall and Liam come up to me and say I look beaut-" I sighed, reaching for my purse. "I need to go find something to drink, I'm going to the vending machine, I'll be back."  I took out a 10 pound note and left Kingsley's side before he could even begin to make me feel better about what I had just gone through.

Minutes had passed and I had finally made it  to the vending machine upstairs near the art classroom. As I walked, I noticed the clock on the wall above the metallic structure, and this read 13:38pm. It wouldn't be long until I was completely done with this school and I was ready and  determined to get through this day and get the closure I craved. 

There would come a time in everyone's life that they will experience something truly heartbreaking that their heart would just sink to the bottom of their stomach whilst skipping a beat. There is no feeling like being in love with someone or something then have your heart being ripped away from you by the same thing or person who dragged it along. . . until you see them again.

This was exactly how I felt the moment I saw Zayn's masculine figure wondering around the halls, looking at something as innocent as the artwork that decorated that lane. I felt frozen for what felt like two years but had been a mere two minutes. My mind was a foggy hurricane and my heart felt empty. But as soon as my gaze met his I felt as if I had been punched in the stomach, knocking every last breathe out of me. I remained cemented in place. He wasn't too from me; Roughly three meters at most. 

He didn't look okay. He had bags under his eyes, his stubble remained untouched and he had fixed his hair under his beanie, but I could still notice the little hairs sticking out. But his eyes looked nothing except hollow. Empty. 

He took a step forward, and I took one back. Three days ago if I had seen him, I would have stayed frozen in spot or walked over to him, screaming for him to take me back. But I wasn't that person anymore. He took another step forward and I took another one back until I noticed him take a few strides forward and my body automatically turned and walked away until I couldn't here his thundering footsteps anymore.

In that moment, I knew what my speech was going to be about.

* *

Third Person

"Georgio Richards" Claps sounded around the whole field as everyone cheered on the person who had just received their diploma. 

"Sally Rowan." The next person was announced, followed by a screams. 

"Amanda Rupert." The next student was announced in the alphabetical list.

"Thomas Sacs." The little redhead went up to his ticket of achievement.

"Teddy Sacs." His twin brother followed after.

"Francesca Sanford." Robotically, everyone clapped. You didn't need to pay too much attention to the crowd to notice the screech that came from and over excited sister and future brother in-law. The gone girl painted on a delighted smile as she accepted her diploma and had to rope on her cap switched to the other side.

Her graduated classmates watched her as she came to join them on the next row. Except she didn't sit with them, she sat with the five other new students who were going to deliver a speech, before everyone could get on with the party. She watched as friends embraced friends and boyfriends kissed girlfriends and couldn't help but feel sick. Kingsley joined her soon after, and gave her a small hug before getting back to the line to see his other friends.

"And now we will have Chester's newcomer's to give us their last speeches before we proceed." 

Anthony Garcia was up first; He was a Mexican exchange student that had arrived earlier in January.

Next was Carla Phoenix; She was a British born and bred student that had come in at the beginning of the academic year.

Sarah Lee and Andrew Lee followed next; Also twins. And then there was Dwight Jamerson; who had only just come in in February.

Last but not least, there was the celebrity of the year Frankie Sandford. Am American student who had nothing in that school left.

"Wow! I never thought I'd see the day when I'd be accepting my most achieving award yet." she paused, as the crowd silenced down. 

"You know, I joined in only October. On my first day, it was like I didn't need to tell anyone who I was because it was like they already knew about the American student who had suddenly joined two months into the year. It was overwhelming or me, but the front office made sure that I had someone to guide me around."

"My time here was great. Not one disappointing event happened while I was here. I want to thank my teachers for never giving up on me even though I gave them havoc while I was here."  The audience laughed.

"I want to thank the staff from a-z, from the caterer's to the cleaners; It wouldn't be the same without you all here."

She paused yet again and hesitated.

"I met a lot of great people who made this experience one heck of a roller coaster ride for me. I think I possibly made a  life long friend; I won't call anyone out, but you know you are."  She smiled lightly at Kingsley. From a distance, her ex friends and boyfriend listened carefully; only her female friends and one of her male one's had stayed for the ceremony, the other's had decided that big crowds wasn't their style. For this reason, they stayed back and watched from a hidden spot.Three out of the four waited for her to have a melt down.

"I think I've discovered that at the beginning of the year I was very dependent on people and every hardship I've been through this past year was very eye opening for me. I need a lot of people around me, but towards the end, I felt like I had become very independent and had finally let go off all weight holding me back from moving forward and moving. . . on, and being true to myself and accepting that I won't be enough for some people and I've accepted that; This school taught me that." 

She felt a pool in her eyes, which made her lower her head slightly, so not a lot of people would see when she let go of a few tears. This would have been an innocent gesture to everyone else, but it didn't go unnoticed by her lover.

"I'm grateful to my family for helping through all this. It's not easy to be a new girl. But thank you all for going through this journey with me and today we will all celebrate to moving forward with our lives." She finished; a cheer from the audience, which made her smile slightly. 

Zayn Malik was gone. He didn't want to be there to listen to the rest after she had basically called him out in front of everyone. Her speech had left a hole in his heart and believe it or not, tears in his eyes. He was brokenhearted. He knew then that he had lost her for good and that he would never get back the best thing that had happened to him in a long time.

* *

Frankie

"Have I told you how proud I am of you yet? Cause if I haven't, I am!" Sacari slurred with excitement as we stumbled through the door at 1am. We may or may not have gone to a bar after the after party at school, which then lead to us wanting to dance, so we found our selves at a club. Not to fear though, Zac had our backs the whole time.

"Surprise!" In that moment mum and grandma wiggled out from behind the sofa with a cheer.

"Mommy! Gamgam!" I shouted, slightly tipsy myself; but not as wasted as Cari.

"Baby! Congratulations!" My mom celebrated as she neared me to give me a hug; grandma followed. But at the sudden embrace, I lumbered into Sacari, which brought us both falling.

"These two are a little out of it I'm sorry." Zac apologized.

The pair of mothers didn't really seem to have a problem with our drunkenness.

"It's alright, we'll celebrate in the morning. Let's get these two to bed."

Grandma went to her room and mum helped me into mine. Zac helped Sacari to her room and decided it was too late to drive and stayed over.

For me, while the house slept I was wide awake. 2am became 3am until I drifted into thoughts. My thought had led to an idea I didn't think to have until I saw the perfect hazel eyes cloud my brain.

I took out my book bag and ripped an empty age from one of my books and began to write. 

Zayn

I hate that I'm doing this because I don't want to be mixing up with you again, but I need answers and I'm in desperate need for closure. 

Understand that I don't want a reply and I don't want you to think I forgive you, because I never will and I need you to read these words.

You broke me. You ripped me to shreds, just a day after I confessed to you how much you mean to me, we laid together in the most intimate way possible, I told you I loved you and you said it back. The things we've been through was all too unbelievable yet real at the same time  for me to think that it was all a joke to you. You showed me who you really were and it makes me sick knowing that all this time you were betting on me.

Why did you do it? That's all I want to know. I know I don't want a reply from you, but I need you to ask yourself why you did it. I'm getting all my feelings out on paper and I'm sorry for the mascara-teared smudges you're squinting to read through. 

I was thinking about moving you know, uni and stuff. I'm trying to enter into a foundation year so these next few days you would happen to see me pass by because we're neighbors ends here. I will miss you, can't deny that. But just know that through everything we've been through I can't find it in myself to hate you, because I know. I know that at some point in our relationship I meant something to you, but I guess I wasn't enough. 

So this is to me putting an end to us for good. Getting closure, letting you know how I feel even though words cannot describe. This is to you breaking me.

- Frankie

At the end of the letter, I was in tears, but I knew it had to be done. I turned on my dim fairy lights and looked into my closet and around my room to try to find everything Zayn gave me, a few of his sweaters and shirts he had left lying around and a few of his beanies, baseball hats, everything; I put it all in a box. This was me finalizing the 8 stages of a breakup. I wore a sweatshirt and put on flip flops so I could silently sneak next door to leave everything at his doorstep. 

The breezy night nipped at my skin, which made me make the one minute trip to the other door thirty seconds. I took in a deep breathe and set the box on the door and rang the doorbell, before walking back up to my house. I noticed the small light at the side of the house which meant he was either home or he had left his light on again. But his hummer and his motorcycle where in the parking lot so I doubted the latter.

I climbed into the soft material of my blankets and closed my eyes, finally allowing sleep to consume me.

A/N 

THE END! Guys this book is finally finished, and not to fear, there will be a more positive epilogue for those of you who expected another ending. I have officially made up my mind. There will be NO sequel. Yes! I am sure. This book won't need a sequel or else it could ruin everything. Thank you to all of you who have ridden with me from day one! It been three years and finally this book is done and I can focus on my other book which was on temporary hold until I finished this one. The epilogue will be posted in the morning! Thank you all yet again. xx