Frankie

Do you ever get that feeling like you feel dead, but at the same time alive?

Well it's like when you've had too much to drink, your body shuts down, but your mind goes straight to work. Or maybe you feel dead, but you know, you're alive, or even like when you sleep walk. Your body tells you to shut the fuck up and sleep, but then your mind being the bitch it is, decides to fuck around a little. 

All that, was happening to me right now. I'm conscious but I'm not.

But for these past few days of being unconscious, Iv'e been in my happy place. 

In my happy place, I have a big house, never have to do chores, eat random jack all day, and water is lemonade.

I know that sounds a bit fucked up. It is. But its also very legit.

When I shower, Nutella. When I cry, Nutella. When it rains, Nutella. When I flush my the toilet, nutella, when I drink water, nutella. Juice box, 50 percent lemonade,50 percent fruit mix.  The trees are made of gumballs and have a fudge topping and a chocolate bark. The grass is little pieces of lickerish. The clouds are cotton candy.

The people are a gingerbread race, the mountains are ice creams, the roads are made of bacon strips, and its just on big food mix. 

If you wanna go for a swim, in The River Nutella, (which would be the river Thames. For all us Brits.), you have to wear a pizza bikini, or you can go naked. It doesn't matter. Its your choice.

The gingerbread people didn't judge. 

It's all perfect except one thing.

I'm alone. I'm all alone. Being the only human gets pretty lonely, because don't get me wrong, the ginger bread folk are sweet, I just wish there was someone like me in here. But I suppose since it is my happy place, I'm meant to be alone.

On some nights, I get nightmares. And its all about this bad man who keeps chasing me. When he catches me, he does really bad things to me. Then I wake up, and its all just one dream. 

But today was different.  Today I didn't awaken to my baby gingerbread brother crying his eyes out.

I didn't awaken to my 3 gingerbread sisters jumping on my bread bed.

Instead I woke up on Mount Sundae. Only Mount Sundae. No duvet, No bed, No sisters, No brothers. 

I looked down at the city. I saw that the clouds were crumbling. The trees were falling, everything was melting. All the Nutella was drying up, Bacon roads were being destroyed. The gingerbread people were crumbling as well. 

And then slowly, everything started to disappear. And Mount Sundae began to melt. Until slowly I hit the ground, and blacked out.

**

*beep*          *beep*         *beep*  

The beep got louder and quicker as I started to panic. I looked down and saw that I was wearing white. And covered in a white blankets, with wires attached all over me.

I'm in a hospital?

The beeping got louder, and even more quicker, and then suddenly my head felt like it had been hit with a hammer. I clutched it really tightly. Then as if on Que, my stomach started  hurt like crazy. 

All this was happening plus my panic attack.

"H-Help!" I screamed, but my voice felt scratchy.

"H-Help!" I yelled again, trying to see if I could get anyone in here. 

Then my vision got blurry.

Last thing I saw was a doctor rushing in quickly.

"Help..." I said faintly before, once again, I blacked out.

Several hours later.

I awoke to the familiar beeping once again. I allowed my eyes to adjust to the bright light, before finally I sat up. I looked around the empty room. 

Well what I thought was empty. I the corner of the room, a nurse sat with a book in her hands, even though she looked bored out of her mind.

When she realized I was awake though,her expression changed.

"Hello dear, you're awake. How are you feeling?" She said in sickly sweet voice, and a large smile on her face.

"R-really sore." I whispered. My voice was too croaky to talk normally.

"I expected that. Here are some painkillers." She said handing me some pills and a water.

I nodded to her as a thank you, and then the question that was burning in my brain popped up?

"How did I get here? I thought I left." I asked.

I knew she was wanting to frown, but kept the same smile on her face.

"You were about to be discharged, but bumped your head against the door and collapsed. This was a week ago.

"Do you want to hear your injuries? We told you last time, but it seems as though your body was a bit shut down when you were last awake."

I didn't reply. Do I want to here my injuries?

"Are they bad?" I whispered once more. 

"They're not the best love. But once you know what they are, maybe we can prescribe something, and call your parent or guardian. If you want to wait a while longer, we'll wait until they're here."

I thought for a moment.

"Can I here them now?"

She picked up a clip board, flipped some pages, and began.

"Severe concussion, two broken bones in the lower rib. A fractured elbow, which we replaced with some metal. Several scabs and sores, sprained ankle. . ." I felt her gulp and pause.

"Should I go on? The rest isn't necessary."

I nodded at her to go on.

"Alright, well, below your pelvis, severe bruising, abuse marks, whip marks, severe bleeding and bruising near the vaginal area and the rest are just really some cuts marks." She ended and looked at me.

I looked back at her in shock.

"Were you raped honey?" She said coming closer to me, and sitting by my bed.

I stared at her in fear. I then looked down at my hands. I remembered  everything now.

I felt the tears start to well-up in my eyes.

I heard the nurse sigh. 

"Do you want me to call your parents dear?" She said looking at me in pity.

"Uhh. . .I-I don't live with them, I live with my sister." I croaked.

"Okay, sit tight for a moment, I'll be right back." She said and and walked out.

I stared at the wall, and then it all started to come to me.

*Flashback*

"Zayn?" 

"Hmm?" 

"I'm really dizzy." 

I said as I felt my eyes start to close.

I felt my heart beat really fast.

"Frankie?! Hold on. I'm going to get a nurse."

He said quickly putting his shoes on and rushing out the door.

It felt like my heart has just been squeezed really tight.

Before I could register what was going on, my eyes shut.

                                                                                                                        *

I don't know what happened next, but I'm guessing Zayn got told to leave the room, and I fainted.

The nurse walked back in, this time with a phone in hand.

She smiled warmly at me before continuing. 

"I have her number stored on here from her last visit." She said before handing me the phone.

I waited for her to pick up, and after a few rings, she did. 

"Hello?" I heard her voice say.

"Sacari? Its Frankie."

"Frankie! Hey sweetie how are you?"

"Yeah I'm okay, I just woke up a while ago." I replied.

"Then I will be there first thing tomorrow morning to pick you up. I'm at mum and Nan's now so we'll see you soon yeah?"

"Okay, bye then."

"Goodbye."

She said and hanged up, I gave the phone to the nurse, and she smiled at me.

"She seemed so happy to here from me, she saw me like yesterday." I chuckled.

"Yesterday, Oh no no no, today is the 20th of December. You were in a comma for a week."

The nurse replied.

"Comma?" I managed to ask in shock.

"Yeah, Oh and that Zayn Malik boy. The abuser, never left your side." She said tsking. 

"He doesn't abuse me! Another nurse asked me the same thing last time, Zayn does not abuse me!" I yelled in anger.

The nurse looked at me in shock.

"Sorry. I-I . . .  I'm going to let you have some rest, its 7:15pm, I'll check on you tomorrow."

I was still so angry. I knew she was embarrassed by her actions.

A/N: Hey guys! So as you know I've had a rough couple of weeks. I am so so sorry for letting that get in the way of my writing. I really am. Ive just been crying of pictures of my ex and eating ice cream while listening to one direction on repeat. And to apologize and make it up to you, im gonna update on Monday, or maybe even tomorrow. :) This is dedicated to MiyaHoran, because she's made me feel extremely better these past couple of weeks, and so have you all. I decided to not stop this story. Because i really don't know what to do with my self if Idid. 

I love you Miya, even though I just met you a little while ago, thanks for everything. 

And everyone of you who commented on the last chapter will get a dedication as well in the next upcoming chapters. 

I love you guys- KuKi