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Nineteen

I enter the palace just past midnight. My emotions are shot, my brain is fried, and my heart is shattered beyond repair. No matter how hard I try, I can't shake the feeling that something is terribly wrong with Cordelia. Of course she is in danger with my brother—his intentions are never good, even if he thinks they are—but something else has nagged me since the last time I met her in a dream.

If you were as concerned as you say you are, you would have found me by now.

What the fuck does she think I'm doing with my time? Did I give her the impression that I have some kind of superior senses that allow me to track someone in any realm? Every day the questions gnaw away at me. It doesn't matter if she thinks those things. The truth is that she believes I've not found her by choice. Cordelia thinks I've given up on her.

I trudge up the empire staircase and stop at the landing, staring at the east wing. Time is running out in more ways than one. It is difficult to stay here when I know what awaits. Our realm is on the verge of chaos, and it's my fault. I didn't finish what I'd set out to do, and that has left all supernaturals teetering on a ledge. I have ignored other duties during my hunt for Cordelia, and I will have to face them soon enough.

"Tomorrow," I mumble and turn the opposite direction to my wing.

The dark hallways are lit by oil burning lamps, lined with antique furniture and priceless paintings. It reminds me of a musty museum. I can't imagine Cordelia living here, trapped in a massive home with hardly any windows. She would hate being kept out of the sun. Even on the island she struggled with the muted sunlight.

I turn the brass knob on my bedroom door and step inside. A fire burns in the fireplace and sitting before it in a high-backed chair is my best friend.

I spare her a glance before pulling off my jacket and saying, "I didn't know we were making surprise visits in the middle of the night."

"Well, when you go silent for days on end, I have no choice but to resort to breaking and entering."

I snort and set to work rolling up the sleeves of my shirt. The last thing she had to do was sneak her way into this house. Anyone on the staff would have happily let her in and given her free reign of the place.

"Are you going to tell me what the hell you've been doing?" she asks, getting up from her chair and strolling to where I stand in front of the closet.

"What do you think I've been doing, Lorelai? Going on a world tour of all-you-can-eat buffets? I've been looking for Cordelia," I snap.

She holds her hand up at me. "Whoa, now, Dracula, cool it with the attitude. When's the last time you fed? Are you about to have some kind of meltdown?"

"I've drank from small animals as I've been traveling."

"That's not going to cut it, and you know it. Especially since you've fed from Cordelia. You're craving something more substantial."

I release the top two buttons on my shirt, attempting to fight the suffocating feeling that hasn't gone away since I left the island. All I've craved is another taste of her, and nothing seems to satisfy me.

"I'm aware," I grumble, plopping into the chair she vacated.

"Do you want me to see about getting you some blood from a donor?"

"No."

She shifts from foot to foot, and I've never seen her look so uncomfortable before. "Well, I—I mean, we've never even talked about this, and I don't know if you even can, but...do you want to feed from me? I'll do whatever I can to help you."

The way I'm feeling is so pathetic. I'm a vampire for fuck's sake. I drink blood to survive. Yet, the thought of biting into a vein that is not Cordelia's sickens me. I can't imagine letting someone else into my body like that. She probably would not view it as a violation of what we share, but I do.

"No. I'll look into feeding from something larger tomorrow." I slump down and prop my chin in my palm. "Cordelia said something to me in a dream that has been bothering me for days. She thinks I could find her if I really wanted to do it."

Lorelai sits on the floor in front of the fire and looks up at me with a confused expression on her face that reflects my feelings on the matter. "What? What do you mean?"

"I don't know! She said that if I were really that concerned, I would have found her by now. Almost like...it's some ability I have or something."

Lorelai props her chin in her palm, mirroring my position as we stare at each other, trying to make heads or tails of Cordelia's statements. "I don't know what she means. Does she think you have some kind of psychic power? I mean, she is still new to things of this realm. Maybe she has some human idea she is clinging to."

She has a point, but it isn't like Cordelia not to ask questions. I never took her as one to jump to conclusions. Then again... "Cane was feeding into it. He didn't correct her."

Lorelai's head pops up and she releases the satin fabric that makes up the skirt of her dress. "Cane was in the dream too?"

"He was."

We fall silent for a moment. Lorelai goes back to rubbing the hem of her dress between her fingers as she thinks. "You don't think he told her that you completed the primal bond, do you?"

"Why would he tell her that? We didn't have an exchange of power while we had sex." My best friend lifts a brow and tilts her head to the side, and my thought process switches to that of my conniving brother. "He must have misled her...made her believe we did so she would think I took the choice away from her."

"What better way to turn her against you."

Rage bubbles up within me. "Goddamnit, Cane!" I roar, making Lorelai jump.

"Shit, Elias," she gasps, placing her hand over her heart.

"Sorry," I mumble. "I'm—fuck, I have to get to her, tell her she's wrong. Tell her what he's done. But..." My worst fear comes to the surface, freezing the anger inside me into pure devastation.

"But what?" Lorelai presses.

"But I don't think she'll believe me. I don't know that she'll care. Lorelai, I think she—I think she and Cane are—" I swallow over the lump in my throat and hold back the emotion I've been fighting all day. "I think they're together."

She scrunches her face like the worst smell has just wafted through my room. "I'm torn between doing the thing every good friend does and talking shit about her, but...I like Cordelia and I can't believe she would do something like that. At least, I don't think she would want to hurt you."

I rest my head back against the chair and close my eyes. "I don't think she would do it to hurt me, but as much as I wish it weren't true, he's her mate too. And that pull is hard to resist. Especially if she thinks I've given up on us." I can't hold them back anymore, and the tears slip from my eyes. "Fuck, I'm so fucking pathetic. I'm sorry," I say, threading my fingers through my hair and gripping it at the roots with one hand and wiping the tears away with the other, my fingertips coming away bloody.

Lorelai stands and leans over me, holding herself up with a hand on each arm of my chair. Her nose almost touches mine and her red hair brushes the tops of my hands as she says, "Don't you dare prove her right, Elias Dagon. You keep fighting for that girl until she tells you to stop. Something in my gut tells me her judgement is clouded by hurt, but she loves you."

"Even if I wanted to stop, I couldn't. I'd rather cease to exist than give up on Cordelia."

"Good." She wipes another rogue tear from my cheek and stands. "We will figure this out."

I nod and stifle down my other worries. There is nothing she can do to help me with that disaster. But I can find a sliver of peace knowing that Lorelai is helping me track Cordelia. It is a big burden, and I breathe a little better knowing she will help me carry it. I just pray to whatever god is listening that we find the other half of my soul before it is too late. 

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