I didn't expect Elias to want to complete the primal bond with me before we perform this blood procedure on Cane. I figured he would be proud of me for wanting to hold out until it was over.

I had no idea he would ask me to complete it now. And I am utterly floored by the heartbreak written all over his face at my answer.

Fuck, this is not how I wanted this to go.

I cannot stand knowing I've hurt him.

Again.

This is the last thing on earth I wanted to do, and I cannot stand the look on his face. But I also can't stand the thought of anything happening to him because of me.

"Elias, please, don't look at this as a rejection," I say, moving back toward him and closing the distance between us. "I want to bond with you more than anything. The Zenith bond is something I didn't know existed until two minutes ago and now it's something I know I need. But I just don't—"

I stop short as a drop of blood slides down his cheek from the corner of his eye.

"Oh, my god," I cry, immediately running my thumb across the liquid and wiping it away, leaving a crimson smear on his face. "What is happening? Are you okay?"

He quickly swipes at his eyes with the heel of his hands. "I'm sorry," he says, clearing his throat of the emotion building up inside it. "It wasn't my intention to let my feelings get the better of me. I respect your decision, Cordelia."

"Why did you ask me now? If this bond ties our lives together, we become a risk to one another. I can't stand the thought of something going wrong in all of this and you losing your life as well."

He steps back like I've punched him in the gut. "What do you think would happen to me if you were to die right now? Do you honestly believe that I would want to carry on without you? The other half of my soul would be gone. My purpose before you was to rule my kingdom, nothing more, nothing less. You changed that the second you walked into that dining room dressed as a sultry witch. You gave my life a new meaning, one that means more to me than my next breath. You became the air I breathe, Cordelia. I'd die without you either way."

The sincerity of his words stabs me directly in the heart and I take in a sharp breath. How could I have not seen it that way before? Elias did tell me that he had given up on finding someone to spend the rest of his life with, that he was only there to appease Lorelai.

I hated that idea of Elias not wanting to exist without me, but at the same time, I had to consider that he'd lived almost twice the normal lifespan of a human being and could go on living for centuries more. And to do so without me?

Would I want to do it without him?

As I look at him, standing in front of me with tears of blood streaming down his face at the thought of losing me, I know the answer without a second thought.

No. I wouldn't.

"Elias, I—"

"Really, Cordelia, I understand. I just need some time to process, okay?" he says in a rush before turning and taking off toward the door.

I huff out a breath and go after him, grabbing him by the wrist and using some of my newly honed strength to pull him back to me. "Excuse me, where are you going? I wasn't finished."

He looks down at me, his eyes guarded, and I can tell he's too afraid to have any hope for what I'm about to say.

"What is it, belle rêveur?"

"You're right. Living without each other is pointless. We did it for months already and I don't ever want to do it again. Please, I want to tie my life with yours."

"Cordelia, I didn't mean to guilt you into this. Honestly, it didn't cross my mind that you would say no. It was a shock to my system. So if you're not ready to do this, I understand."

How the hell do the two of us find ourselves in situations like this? One wrong answer and it feels impossible to get things on track again. He thinks I'm saying yes out of guilt. And I get it. If I were in his place, I'd think the same thing. This is clearly going to take some convincing on my part.

"Elias, baby, please. Listen to me. I am ready to commit my life to you and be tied to you in every way possible. Being with you is all I want. I was ready to risk my life to leave, knowing that Cane might lose his fucking mind and kill me." I close the distance between us and cup his cheeks in my hands. "I just still sometimes can't believe that there is someone who loves me so fucking much that he'd rather see the end of his near 200-year existence than to live without me. Please believe me; nothing about what I'm doing right now is out of guilt."

He takes my hands from his face and holds them between us. "Are you sure?"

"I am."

"I'm not looking to do this right now. I want to make the moment special for both of us, but soon. And Cordelia, if you change your mind, I understand. I truly do."

"Okay. However you decide you want to do this is going to be perfect, Elias. And I'm not going to change my mind," I say, squeezing his hands.

He brings me close to his chest and hugs me to him, kissing me on the temple. "I love you, Cordelia."

"And I love you."

He lets out a deep breath and rests his chin on the top of my head. "I'm really glad that discussion is over. I was dreading talking to you about that. I just want all of it to be over. I'll be glad when this isn't hanging over our heads anymore and we can just exist as we were meant to."

"Me too," I murmur. "But before we can call it done, we need to set one more ground rule, just so it's settled."

I can feel him wince. "What is it?"

"You said it was a reluctant yes before, but...if anything happens and you think I'm not going to make it. Are you going to turn me?"

He releases a puff of air and tilts his face toward the ceiling. "How could you even consider my life an option? The craving for blood is terrible in the beginning. I can go months without feeding, but you, you will want to do it all the time. My blood will not satisfy you."

I step back from him and cross my arms, cocking a brow as I look up at him. "Oh? So you're saying your life is so bad that you'd rather me be dead?"

"No. I'm giving you a choice, Cordelia. We can find other options that don't put me turning you on the table. We are talking about your everyday life. I will not have you enduring your existence with the only bright side being me. We are talking about the way you eat and the things you cannot tolerate for long periods of time, like the sun. This is about you having all the information to make the best choice for you."

"You just said I gave your life new meaning. Why would you think that you couldn't give mine the same?" I pause as a horrifying thought takes hold. "I could feed off blood from a bag...right? I don't want to—drink from anyone else. I only want that with you."

"Animal blood. We try not to take what is necessary to humans. And blood donations have a purpose other than feeding us. The human blood we do receive normally goes to the new bloods—new vampires. They need it after their change to keep strong. Then the process of weaning them begins. I remember having to force down the animal blood at first. It is an acquired taste. As far as feeding from another vampire, we find the taste repulsive. It's said to be a survival mechanism to keep us from feeding from our own kind."

"You mean you'd never want to feed from me again?" I know it's stupid to get upset about that, when this is the solution that could save my life if there were no other options left. But Elias feeding from me is one of the things that makes me feel closest to him. And I am certain he feels the same way.

"I've heard of vampires taking small amounts of blood and trying to build up a taste for it. It is very difficult to do."

I swallow and tuck my lips between my teeth. "Well, that would definitely hurt, but I would rather spend the rest of my life with you and deal with it than both of us be dead."

"Then I will change you if it comes to that. I will take you in any form. You will still be my Cordelia."

My heart flutters at his words. I've never felt so accepted in my life. It doesn't matter if I'm human, Dreamwalker, or vampire. I will always be his, and he will always be mine.