"Good, you're back! Go make me some food I'm starving. Then after, go clean up your mess in the basement." I nod my headend go to the kitchen. Very submissive coward! I'm not a coward. I'm still too injury to get beat again. I'm not trying to die! Whatever.

I walk into the kitchen and decided to make chicken biscuits with a side of fries. Funny how to try to make sure he eats good, but not yourself. Whatever.

Once I'm finished, I set his plate on the table alongside his beer.

"The food is ready."

"Great, and make yourself a plate to. Also bring the food in here I want to watch a movie." I nod and do as told. He is actually letting you eat!... wait, what's the catch? I don't care, I'm just happy I can eat!

I bring him his food and drink, make my plate, and sit beside him. He has End Game on. We eat in silence and watch the movie.

"Now that is a good movie, right babe."

"Yes, wonderful." I truly to say with some enthusiasm.

Once we finished eating, he pulled us into a laying position with me on top of him. I didn't try to fight back.

He gets up and walk out the room. I stay laying on the sofa. Like I mentioned, I don't want to be hurt anymore. I'm tired of fighting. I just want the pain to stop. A tear slides down the side of my face. Then two. Then three. I silently cry while staring at the movie credits. I want everything to stop. Then tell someone girly, try, please. I can't.

Jimmy returns to the room and puts on another movie. He ignores my crying and lays with me again pulling me closer to his chest. He kiss my cheek and goes back to watch the movie.

After that movie I cleaned the kitchen and went to bed without that leech. When I woke up, I was angry. I mean, extremely angry. I don't know why, maybe I finally cracked. I quickly get up and get ready. As I rush down the stairs to the door, I'm pulled into the arms of the devil himself.

"What, no goodbye kiss?" I glare. I know I should be trying to stay on his good side to prevent him from hurting me more, but I just can't take this, this pain anymore. With as much strength I can muster up, I push him off of me.

"Go burn in hell you creep." With that I rush out the house to school. Good job! I wouldn't say that, I'm definitely getting my tail beat when I get back, and I'm in no shape for that. Then why fight back?! Cause I'm angry. I'm having one of those days at the worst time. Well at least you stood up for yourself. 

It happens at least twice a month. It's from were I press down my emotions for too long that I end up self-destructing. I tend to just not care about the consequences of my actions and end up in lots of trouble. One time some years back when I was like this, I almost beaten a classmate to death.

They pulled me off of him, but if they hadn't, I would have not stopped. I just couldn't control myself. I had to go to juvenile detention for a month a speak to a therapist. I just told the lady what she wanted to her so they could let me go. I was put on meds, but since Jimmy never got me more, it's been harder to control myself. Today it will be impossible.

With my hood for my head I marched into the building. That reminds me, I need to get my hoodie back from the guys. Speak of them and they shall appear.

"Sup girly," Blake says, I ignore him and walk faster. They catch up.

"Hey, hey what's wrong?" Kevin ask standing I'm front of me. I glare at him.

"Move." I say in a low growling tone. He shakes his head no. I clench my hands into a fist.

"Kindness, talk to us." Can't you see I don't want to talk! Without think I swing at him. Luckily he dodges my fist at the last second.

"Woah, woah, calm down woman!" David and Leyon say at the same time. I can't think, all I see is red.

I swing again at Kevin since he was still in my line of sight. He dodges again. This kept happening until he was able to grab a hold off my arms and pull me into a hug. I tried to fight his hold, but he just hugged me tighter. Slowly, but surely, I started to calm down. I melt into his embrace.

That's when it hit me. I was out of line.

"I'm s-sorry. I-I w-wa-wasn't thinking. I could-couldn't think. My, my mind w-was cl-clouded. Ple-" Kevin cut me off.

"Let's all go somewhere to talk alright." He pulled me out the building to his car with the guys in tow. He got in the drivers seat, me passenger, and the guys in the other two rows.

"Talk to us Kindness, what the fuck is wrong!" Xavier says breaking the silence. My anger starts to build back up. I turn to him and glare.

"Fuck you!" I was ready to jump over the seat until Kevin grabbed me.

"I think I know what's going on," Leyon says.  Every looks at him questioning while I try to get out of Kevin's grip.

"Kindness, do you take meds for your anger?" I stop struggling and look at him and nod.

"When is the last time you taken them?" David ask? I shrug. 

"Some years ago." They all give me a look.

"Hey, it's not my fault, Jimmy wouldn't get me them and told them I don't need it. He just didn't want to pay for it. That piece of shit!" I was getting worked up again. 

"Kindness, breath. Just count down from ten then up to ten until you calm down." Xavier says. I listen. Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten. I kind of feel better.

"Not to sound mean, but your a ticking time bomb. I don't think you need to be here of all places." Blake says, I shrug.

"I have nowhere else to go, plus I'm not allowed to miss school or I'll be in trouble with my social worker." Crap I'm gonna be in so much trouble. I slide out of Kevin's arms and get out the car.

"Where you think you're going?" Blake ask.

"To class." With that, I sprint into the school and to class. 

Luckily, the teacher let me off with a warning and class went smoothly. Well, until the teacher wanted to call on me to answer the question.

"Pass." I say not wanting to answer.

"There is no pass Kindness. Answer the question." My blood was starting to boil.

"I said pass dumbass! What part of I don't want to participate to you not understand!"

"You will not talk to me like that young lady! Get out my class and go to the principals office, now!"

"You're not the boss of me! I'm tired of this shit! All I wanted is to be left alone! Why can't anyone just let me do that! FUCK!" I storm at off class with my stuff and go to the office. When there I just march into his room. I'm already a regular guess.

"Really Kindness, you have no excuse this time. What is wrong? He said he is concerned cause you never act that way in his class. What happened? Talk to me." I try my best to hold my tears back but one slips out. 

"I'm fine," my voice cracks when I speak.

"It doesn't seem like it."  Another tears seeps out. Then my sadness turns into anger.

"Why do you act like you care when you don't?" Venom was sleeping through my voice.

"Cause I do. This isn't the first time you went in an anger rage. Something is wrong. First being you're not taking your meds. Second being you come to school bruised up. Now tell me what is wrong." How can he be so calm and yet so stern. Off topic. I open and close my mouth a few times trying to think of a good comeback.

"Who gave you those bruises on your face and don't tell me you got into a fight. I know you don't fight as much as you want people to think. The students here doesn't try to fight you. Should I get the nurse to examen you?" I shake my head no. Could you be any less obvious? My anger dwindles.

"I'm fine."

"It doesn't seem like it. Talk to me." I began to cry, hard.

"I-I'm so-sor-sorry. Pl-please st-stop. I j-just want, want the pa-pain to st-stop. I-" I just bawl my eyes out.

He got out his seat and kneeled down in-front of me.

"Kindness, it's ok. Just talk to me. I can help you." I shake my head.

"No you can't."

"Yes I can."

"No one believes me."

"But I will." I think for a moment. I don't know, maybe he can help me. No he can't. You're un-savable. Do you hear yourself!

"Can I think about it?" He looks at me for a little bit then nodes.

"But don't wait to long. If I see you and other teacher see you with any new bruises I will take matters into my own hands." I nod in understanding. Guess I better learn how to use makeup. He goes back to his chair.

"You may leave now."

"I don't have detention?"

"Nope, but you still have your two from your Spanish teacher since you skipped you second one." I wipe my face and smile.

"Welp, she should be the one in detention not me. When is Ms. Grumpy doing to retire." He gives me a stern look, but in his eyes I can see the amusement.

"Kindness, go to class." I give him a salute and walk out his room. 

I sit in detention with the guys. David and Leyon pulled a prank on a teacher and somehow got the rest of them in trouble too. They all are giving each other the silent treatment which I'm trying hard not to laugh at.

On the other hand, I've been able to get control of my emotions after my talk with the principal. He doesn't know this, but I've grown to have great respect for him. He seems like the only parent figure I have. I don't know if I should tell him about Jimmy though. I'm scared to tell him or anyone for that matter.

I just keep think back to when I told someone about the second foster parents I had. That was the first time someone ever inappropriately touched me. I told my social worker and at first she believed me, but somehow they convinced her I was lying. I was sent back to them. They beaten me up super bad and broke my leg. And when I say broke, I mean completely. It took almost a year to heal. Once it healed, they sent me back into the system. Jimmy is my fourth parent and is the one I've been with the longest.

Detention was boring since the guys didn't want to talk. We was let out and everyone went home silently. Kevin offered me a ride home, which I excepted. Then something dawned on me. Before I left I told Jimmy to go to hell. He is probably beyond pissed. He's going to kill me! I was freaking out, internally.

"Oh yeah, you left your hoodie and Xavier's. It's in the backseat." I reach to the back and grab it.

"Thanks."

"No problem." Things went silent again.

We pulled up to my house and I was about to get out the car when he grabbed my hand.

"No goodbye hug?" He ask with a raised eyebrow. I chuckle and give him a hug.

I wasn't a short one neither. I kinda didn't want to let go. But you have to. I pull away, give him a light kiss on the cheek, and whisper in his ear.

"Thank you for the ride Kevin. Have a wonderful day." He pulls me back into a hug.

"Anytime beautiful." I blush and get out the car. With one last wave goodbye he pulls off. I think someone has a crush. Shut up, no one would willingly want to be with me. True. I wipe all emotion from my face and open the front door.