Katsuki's POV:

"You disgusting homo! How could my son be one of them? I shouldn't have to deal with you. You're the reason why your father left. That's how bad you are. You're so annoying just die," Mother says.

Then suddenly the whole class is in my home with me.

"Useless" "Dumb" "Evil" "Ugly" "Villain", they yell. We're suddenly in a dark room and they're surrounding me. They repeat the words over and over.

Then Shoto comes from in between the crowd of students, and I get hopeful, thinking that he's going to save me from them.

He doesn't. "You hear that Katsuki? You're all of those things. But you're also a freak. A suicidal freak who cuts himself. Why do you do it? For attention? I will never like you. I'm not a gay bitch like you."

I'm crying at this point. I fall to the floor when he finishes talking and the others are still calling me those names. I'm every one of those, but it hurts so much hearing it from them.

What hurt me the most, though, was Shoto saying those things.

I'm hyperventilating, everything is getting louder and I feel like my chest is on fire. The weight of my body feels like tons. The voices around me are getting louder and louder. I'm shaking and when I look up I see Shoto's disappointed face. It makes everything so much harder. Everyone starts throwing punches and kicks at me and now I really can't breathe. I feel myself about to pass out and then see complete blackness.

I wake up in a panic. I can't breathe and I'm crying. I look around and I see that I'm in my room. I try to catch my breath, but I can't seem to be able to. I also can't stop crying, so that's not helping. Why? Why did it hurt more when Shoto said those things about me? I wonder if that's really what he thinks of me. I don't know how to get my breathing under control. I've had panic attacks before, but never this big. I don't know what to do. I grab my pillow and hug it tightly. I'm scared, what if I pass out? I can't go to Mother for help, so I'll just have to figure this out on my own. You'll be fine. Just calm down. You need to breathe. Just stay calm.

I try telling myself anything that would calm me down. It helps, but only a bit. My breathing isn't as harsh, but it's still ragged and shaky. I grab my phone to see how to calm myself down. I decide to put on my soft music playlist, so that I can at least get a little more sleep. The first song starts playing. I have the song at a low volume so that mother doesn't wake up.

I'm breathing fine by the end of the song, but I'm still shaking. I know that today will not be a good day already, but I really want to enjoy myself when I'm out with Kirishima. It's just going to be a hard day and I'm going to have to pretend like it isn't. It's been getting harder and harder to pretend that I'm okay.

Sometimes I just want to give up. I'm just going to say 'that's it, I'm not dealing with this shit' and act myself. My real depressing self. The one who doesn't think he's the best. The one who cuts himself. The one who's gay. The one that gets beat up by his Mother. The one who had a father that left him. The disappointment. The freak. The loser. Everyone will see how dead I am. How messed up and unusual I am. But for now, everything has to seem normal. No one suspects anything except Shoto, which is why I think it hurt the most when he called me names in my dream.

I sigh and lay down so now I'm looking at the ceiling. I have to stop thinking like this right now. I'm so tired now from the panic attack, but I'm scared to go back to sleep. What if I have another nightmare? I grab my phone and look through YouTube. I have some videos in my 'watch later' playlist, so I start watching those. It's 4:16, and I have to start getting ready in a few hours.

Maybe I can start getting ready earlier like at six so that I can just get out of the house before school. I can even take a walk. I set my alarm to ring at six just in case I'm so hooked on YouTube that I forget to check the time.

~~~~~~~~~~
Around two hours later and many YouTube videos too, I get up and start grabbing my school clothes to change. I did try to sleep by watching satisfying videos, but my fear overcame the calmness of the videos, so that didn't work out very well. I should shower actually. I walk towards the restroom quietly and make it there. I do my business and wash my hands before brushing my teeth first. Sometimes I brush my teeth before I shower because if I don't, then my shower won't feel as satisfying. My mouth will feel dirty, so I'll feel dirty. It's weird, but it's only sometimes. When I'm done brushing my teeth, I turn on the water and make sure I have my towel in the restroom.

I check the water, making sure that it's cool this time instead of hot. I need to calm down, and sometimes nice, cold showers help with that. I step in and start with my hair. As the shampoo is getting washed away by the water, I start crying. It's sudden and unexpected, but my tears are flowing uncontrollably and I let out a few sobs.

Why am I like this? Why did it have to be me who feels like this? I don't want anyone else to have this feeling, but I need a break. My life isn't the best. Why couldn't I just have a normal life? With a supportive mom and dad. If I at least had that, then the thing that happened in the summer camp would have been much easier to handle. If I knew that I could have someone to talk to.

I wash my body and put on conditioner as the tears keep spilling from my eyes. After my sobs stop and my tears finally come to an end, I turn off the water. I grab my towel and step out of the shower and start drying myself. I see my scars and frown. Maybe I should add more? I won't be able to do it at any other time because me and Shoto are meeting for lunch and then I'm going to be with Kirishima for the rest of the day. But today is Friday so we're going to be using our quirks and that would really hurt like hell. I need to do it though. I grab my razor from underneath the sink and look at it. It's new, I just got rid of the other one and haven't really used this one.

I hold my arm over the sink and put the razor to my wrist. I slide it across slowly, feeling the pain and how much it stings. I wince. It's a deep cut, and I watch the blood dripping from my arm slowly. I make another one and another one and another one. I don't stop until there's 10 new deep cuts. I usually don't go this deep, but for some reason, I felt so pent up.

They weren't very deep, I wasn't going to pass out or anything, but they were deeper than usual. I watch as the blood rolls off my arm and into the gray sink. I turn on the faucet and put my arm under it. I wince a little when the water makes contact with the fresh cuts. I watch as the blood slowly stops coming out. Once that's done, I rinse off the blood in the sink and make sure that there's no mess anywhere else.

I look under the sink to see if there are any gauze to keep my blazer from scraping against the cuts. I find some behind the spare toothbrushes and take it out. Once the blood dries, I can just take them off and there wouldn't be any seeping through. It wouldn't be all that bad anyway, my hero costume has black sleeves and there are the gauntlets which cover my arms. Also if I get hurt, Recovery Girl would heal them anyway. I carefully wrap the gauze around them and then put on my uniform. My blazer is still in my room, so I just put the make-up under my eyes, make sure it looks fine, and double check to see if my hair is good. I grab my stuff from the restroom and turn off the lights before unlocking the door and sticking my head out to see if Mother was awake.

After a few silent seconds, I walk out quietly and go to my room. Once I close the door, I sigh in relief and start putting on my blazer before hearing a beep from my phone. I shrug on the blazer and go over to see who had texted me. It was Shoto.

The message read 'Good morning Katsuki, do you want to walk to school together?'

Did he really want to walk with me? What if people saw us together? Would he want to stop being friends? Would he just stop talking to me? Ughhhh, but I really want to see him. Whatever, I'm going to do it.

'Sure, where do we meet?' I reply.

After a few seconds he replies. 'I'll just meet you at the corner of your street. I'll be there in 5 minutes'.

Ahhh okay. I let out a deep breath.

'Okay I'll see you then' I reply.

I get this weird feeling when I'm with Shoto. Could I like like him? Aggghh I don't know. It's weird.

I grab my backpack and make sure that I have my make-up and stuff before quietly heading out. It's 7 now, and if Mother wakes up, she'd have an hour and a half to hit me. I open the door and then close it behind me. When it clicks shut, I sigh in relief and dash out to the sidewalk. I see Shoto standing there looking at me weirdly. He saw me run away from the house. Dammit. I walk over to him.

"Good morning Katsuki. How did you sleep? Answer honestly."

I look at him. Can he like read my mind or something?

"Um I didn't really sleep all that much, and when I did, it wasn't good," I reply.

I start walking so that I avoid looking at his face. He starts walking next to me before asking questions. "Was it a nightmare? Do you want to talk about it?"

I don't know what to do. I can tell him about some of the dream, I won't tell him about when he called me a cutter because then he'd know. I can tell him about everything else.

Wait, I can't tell him about the thing with Mother either. I also do kind of want to talk about it. It was really bad. My anxiety is still up there, and it's going to be hard to pretend like I'm okay. At least I can be a little more myself around Shoto.

"Yeah I do."

He does a double take, shocked that I said that I did.

"I was in a dark room and everyone from the class started surrounding me. The called me a freak, useless, and just really bad things. Then you came out and I thought you were going to help me, but you just said that all of those things were true and that I was an evil person. A villain," I say quietly.

"Hey you know those things aren't true, and no one thinks that of you. Especially not me. I'm your friend now Katsuki."

Friend, hm better than nothing. I stop and look at him. He stops too and looks at me weirdly because I just stopped suddenly. "Thank you Shoto," I say before hugging him quickly and then pulling away.

I've been hugging him too much. That's also weird. I need to stop.

He let out a quiet 'hmpf' from my quick hug. I had already turned around and started walking away quickly. He's shocked, but snaps out of it and then catches up to me. "It's all good Katsuki. I enjoy being your friend. Hey can I put my arm on your shoulder again?" I look at him and nod. We're still walking, but we decide to take a detour because there's still a lot of time.

"Yesterday was really fun. Thank you for walking me home, I was really nervous."

He nods. "Yeah I had a lot of fun too, but I knew you were scared, that's why I still walked you home when you gave me that look. Also, I just like spending time with you if I'm being honest. You're a cool person, Katsuki."

I blush, but I'm not looking at him, so it would be hard to tell from where he is.

"Aww Katsuki, are you blushing?" He teases.

Dammit I thought I wouldn't be caught. "Tch, no," I say looking the opposite way now.

He just laughs a bit and he pulls me a bit closer to him. Not so subtly either. I look at him.

"What are you doing?"

He just looks me straight in the eye and says, "I just wanted to hug you."

Okay now I'm beet red. "Why would you say something like that?!" I yell. Ughh it's cute, but I couldn't let him know I thought that. He would definitely stop being my friend if he found out. If my parents couldn't love me after I told them, then what would a friend do? He'd leave on the spot and probably beat me up or send people to do it for him.

I sigh heavily and then continue walking silently with Shoto. It's not awkward or anything, it's just quiet. After a while of just walking around, we decide to head to school. I just want it to be after school already so that I could spend time with my old friends. I miss them a lot. When we near the school, Shoto takes his arm off me. Probably so that people don't have questions.

We just head to class to get ready for our day of training. We're at front of the doors of the class, I tell Shoto to go in first. He goes in and after a while, I open the doors and seem like my mad-old-self again.

***
Word Count: 2,496
I know this chapter doesn't have a lot of interesting stuff. I would've written more, but I didn't know if you guys would like longer chapters. I could even write 5,000 word chapters. Lol idk if you guys would like longer chapters, but just let me know. Thank you guys for voting and reading this. It already had over 4k reads!!! Love you guys and I'll fix typos throughout the day or week. <3