Alone in my room, in the dark emptiness, shuddering and trembling, I dug my nails into my arms. Jagged edges bit deep into the tender skin. Deeper and deeper, until I couldn't get them further. Warm, red blood coated my fingers. I watched it drip. 

Why did I say that? (Why did I remind him?)

The horse stared at me with round eyes and a soft expression. My stomach twisted. It did nothing wrong. Soft blue wisps curled off its fur before fading in the air. I flung it away. It wouldn't be something simple. It wouldn't just be a thing to tell him if someone tries to take me. 

He doesn't care about me as a person to have it as that. If he did, he wouldn't have left. You--you don't leave after something like that. I doubled over, pressing my forehead to the mattress. I sobbed. Scratch by scratch, the burning came back. Red stained the sheets. Everything he'd done for me, I undid. Weapon, my mind whispered like a taunt. Bile rose in the back of my throat. 

I wheezed and slid off my bed. A few drachmas sat in a bowl, and they rattled against the ceramic before clinking together in my pocket. My nails scraped over my scalp. I didn't know how I was going to get away---Dad probably told the guards to watch for me---but I needed to leave. I couldn't keep--I wouldn't let them keep using me. 

Julia could help me figure something out. By the time I wandered the halls, the blood on my arms had clotted. Cold stones pressed against my feet. Left. Left. I followed the walls like I was in the Labyrinth. It wouldn't help me, my thoughts were clouded and I lost track of how many turns I'd made. In truth, I couldn't afford to try to clear my head. Couldn't afford to feel more than the empty buzz. There was something I wanted, but it wasn't there. 

Dad's aura split around me. It didn't curl or twine around me, didn't brush my skin or cradle me. And if I reached for it, if I pushed myself into the corners where it lingered, would it reject me?

The thought of that made me want to jump off the cliff again.

The corridors were empty, old, and barely lit. No fish swam through, no councilmen poked their heads through doors. The enchantments pushed at me. I shivered. You don't belong here, they hissed, you aren't welcome. Swallowing, I pushed further. Hostility grew as the walls got darker, smoother, and worn with cracks. Shadowed halls split off, a tempting echo issuing from some. My fingers curled and I walked a little faster past those. 

An arch at the end of the hall opened into a large hall. Stained glass windows stretched towards the ceiling. Colors danced over the floor, spilling on mosaics and images. I stepped carefully on each piece. That's a whale, and there's a sea serpent. Once in the center of the room, I stretched out my hand, turning it to watch the colors dance on my skin. 

It was...quiet. 

No whispers of power, no watchful eyes. When I pushed the rest of the water away, there was no sense of wrongness. Whatever this place was, it had been forgotten by the gods. I sucked in a breath. There has to be a way outside from here. My thumb rubbed over a drachma. 

Really, I didn't have a choice. And if I did, what other option was there?

I walked around, looking for a spot where the colors laid out a rainbow. Most of the glass was green and blue, but there were splashes of reds and yellows. Some of the windows were things I recognized, like Mount Olympus, but there were others I didn't. Finally, after circling the room, twice, and squinting at the blurring between shades, I found a spot on the white water curling around a sea serpent. 

Was I really going to do this? 

Was I really going to turn to the monsters who tortured me?

The coin shone in the light. I held my hand out, hovering above the rainbow. 

"Percy?" --I jerked and shoved the coin away-- "What are you doing?" Triton walked towards me, skin fading to tan. Blue lingered around his hands.

"I was- I was going to call my mom." Swallowing, I ran my hand through my hair. "You can't sneak up on people like that. I could've--" Riptide weighed heavy in my pocket. 

"Why are you this far away from your room?"

"Am I not allowed to explore now?" I snapped and crossed my arms. He took another step. My heart fluttered. Close. Too close. He hummed and grabbed my shoulders. While the touch was light, barely there, it pushed me down and back into my skin. I shoved at his chest. "Let go."

He snatched my wrists. As he stared at my arms, my throat grew tighter and tighter. 

"I'm getting Dad," he said.

"No."

"You are injured. And you're not letting it heal." His eyes glowed. "Give me one good reason I shouldn't drag you to Dad right now."

"He's mad at me."

He blinked. "You think he's--? Look, even if he's mad at you, he'd want you to go to him for something like this." His hands glowed. Skin stitched back together, itching until even that was soothed away. I stared at my arms. Why did everyone do this? 

Why couldn't I ever do anything, even to myself? 

"Haven't been here for a while," said Triton, looking around the room. "This used to be a greenhouse."

"Used to?" 

"Let's just say, a god who controls water keeping a garden of aquatic plants was not going to last long. He can be...destructive, even if by accident." He ran a hand through his hair, bracelets chiming together. "How'd you even end up here? This is part of the old palace."

I shrugged. Really, I didn't know. It wasn't like I was trying to find some long forgotten room. Triton sighed, long and drawn out. He wrapped an arm around my shoulders and tugged me towards the door. My eyes widened, and I struggled. 

"Calm down. I'm taking you back to your room. You'd probably get lost and starve to death. That would piss Dad off." A smile painted his face. He glanced down at me. "Of course, I could always carry you like the baby you're acting like."

"Can...Can you?" My voice shook and my face heated as I looked up at him. I was already tucked close to his side, and that was by his own choice. Even if he was joking, there was a hint of an offer there. I didn't expect him to say yes. I had no right to ask it of him. And if he said no, well, he wasn't Dad. 

I yelped and wrapped my arms around his neck. "Shush," he said. "You asked me to do this." He walked out, but in those brief moments, I could feel the air change. It rolled and echoed with Triton's presence. Shuddering, I pressed my face into his shoulder.

Coming back here wasn't an option.

Triton's footsteps echoed off the high walls, and the gentle pace was soothing. By the time he dumped me on my bed, all I could do was blindly tug him down with me. Words were mumbled and exchanged. He let me curl into his chest, and he held me like a little kid. A soft lullaby floated through the air. Triton's voice was like the murmur of waves over sand. 

After a while, when the shadows deepened, the door opened. Footsteps. 

"What are you doing, Dad?" asked Triton. 

"I couldn't sense her."

"Figured I should let her get some sleep. She..." he trailed off, brushing a hand over my cheek. To move would be to tell them I was awake. I didn't want that. "It looked like she scratched her arms raw."

The bed creaked and dipped. Even tucked against Triton, I slid towards Dad. Lanky arms slipped from me. I didn't whine, didn't move. Through barely open eyes, I watched as Dad held Triton close. They exchanged words I didn't understand. I didn't know what they were talking about, but I knew I wanted Triton back. All I needed to do was to reach over and tug at his arm, now free of his bracelets. But Dad stroked Triton's hair, and Triton hummed and leaned into the touch and I couldn't. 

It would be selfish. 

Dad was less than five feet away. I could stretch an arm out and clutch at his sleeve. His aura didn't even brush me.

Tremors shook my body. He doesn't want me. He doesn't want me. Cold tears slipped down my face. I bit down on my hand, teeth gouging and nerves buzzing. Once they were asleep, I curled on the floor, a thin blanket wrapped around me. 

(It would be easy enough to tie the blanket around my neck.) 

A bit late, but im very tired, and sure its 12:04 am but im counting this as being a day late since I was at my friends for her birthday today

See yah