The water pressed in on me. My eyes wide, I stared into the darkness. Too close, too close, too restricting. A long, soft keen tore out of my throat. I wanted something, a deep want that I couldn't put to words, but for every second I didn't have that, whatever that was, my heart sped up. A little hummingbird trapped in the cage my ribs created, pounding fruitlessly against the bars of its jail. What did I want? What was it? Tears slid down my face, cool trails left in their wake. My panic continued to swell. 

Something tangled around my legs. I turned and I struggled, attempting to kick free. Glass on wood rattled nearby, bits of debris pattered over me. Sharp bits of rock sprinkled my face. On instinct, I dragged my nails over my arms. The burning pain, I welcomed it. Over and over did I repeat the motion, until wetness began to coat my nails. Whatever cloud had settled over me retreated. 

Finally able to think clear enough to untangle myself from my blankets, I got up. Liquid trailed down my arms, curling and curving with my muscles before finally dripping to stone. The cold floor nipped at my toes. Every step hastened because of it, I scurried through the halls. He said his office, right? 

Whines tried to slip out past my lips, but I refused. I wouldn't--I couldn't. Going to him, it was a bad decision. Showing weakness too many times would only serve to get me killed. And yet not going to him would make things worse.

The council chamber was empty, benches and chairs pushed under the tables. I walked in, and I shuddered. My skin crawled like someone was watching me. It was that weird feeling from walking through a quiet empty school: that I shouldn't be here. Only a few of the doors actually had anything in them, the others just led to hallways. Servants breezed through them during the meetings I'd been to, so I figured those weren't the doors I wanted. 

A biting chill sank into my bones. I sniffled, wiped my eyes, and headed towards the only door with light seeping out from under it. I turned the handle, wincing at the loud rattled. The door swung without issue, the hinges smooth and soundless. Dad sat at his desk, pen in hand. It scratched over the document he worked on, a paper he was so engrossed in, he didn't notice me walk in. Nor did he notice when the door clicked shut. 

Swallowing, I said, "Dad?"

He blinked and turned his head. "Percy?" His brow creased. "What's wrong?" When I didn't respond, he sighed and gestured for me to come over. I didn't. 

I couldn't move, couldn't process what he wanted me to do. I was floating, even though my feet were firmly on the ground. Wood scraped against stone. Dad stood and walked over to me. Like a blanket, his aura wrapped around me. A weight came off my shoulders. He scanned his gaze over me.

A hard glint flamed in Dad's eyes. "You hurt yourself." There wasn't emotion, only cold indifference. Probably anger. Definitely anger. Even if it wasn't audible, I could feel it in the way his aura no longer offered comfort. It was razor wire, warning me to stay away. It scraped over my skin, a soft hiss escaped my lips and I fell back a step. Dad didn't let me have that space, instead stepping forward. Water swirled around my arms, tinted red with blood."For fuck's sake, Percy, you can't keep doing this. Do you even have any plans for what you want to do with your life?"

"Hopefully I won't be around long enough to need plans."

Something clattered out in the hall. Dad swore under his breath. 

"Tyson, just--" Heavy feet hit the stone floor. Dad's jaw tightened and he looked at me. "Stay here, don't move." He rushed out the door, after Tyson, leaving me standing there. A shiver ran along my spine. I shuddered and wiped my eyes. Disposable. Forgettable. That's all you are, my thoughts mocked.

Were they wrong?

I took a risk, and I left. I left again. How many times would this happen? How many times would I think I was safe only to have to end up leaving again? I wiped my eyes, headed back to my room, changed, and I left. Just like before. It was a cycle I seemed to be trapped in. 

In all honesty, I didn't know where I ended up. Somewhere on the coast, somewhere where streetlights brightened the night, and where the night was warm. Neon open signs flickered in windows. My feet stopped, leaving me in front of one such shop. A hum left my lips. Why not?

What else did I have to lose?

A bell rang above me, and I slipped down an aisle towards the cooler. Everything was on autopilot, my mind barely processing what I did. I knew I walked to the counter, snapped my fingers. Sure, abusing the Mist was frowned upon, but was practice, so it didn't count. With a comment about looking good for a twenty eight year old and me shoving money at the guy, I had my purchase.

The streets seemed so much colder, wind buffeting me with every second I walked. Should have grabbed a windbreaker. Not that it mattered much. If Zeus or some other god wanted to mess with me, a piece of fabric wasn't going to stop them. 

I sighed and ran a hand through my hair. Even if I didn't know the layout of the city, I could feel the ocean. It called to me, even if I wanted nothing to do with it. Even if it refused me, I'd still sense it. As much as I hated it, I belonged to the sea and it wanted me to return to it. Everything would in time. Paved sidewalk turned to a dirt path crawling up a hillside. I didn't turn from it. I kept walking and walking. The lights of the city or village or whatever became specks in the distance. 

At the end of the path was a cliff. And I didn't know why I chose that place to sit, but I did. Stars, scattered and faint, decorated the sky. Waves created a symphony below. 

There wasn't a railing. 

Sticking my fingers through the handle, I ripped the cardboard bow open. Cans clinked as I picked a cold one out. I sighed and pulled the tab back. I took a swig, not thinking, not giving myself a chance to back down. The bitter taste flooded my mouth, followed by the sting of alcohol. A broken laugh fell from my lips, pushed back by another drink. So much for that promise, huh. 

Another drag, another thought washed away. If I couldn't drown them out, maybe I could drink my problems away. I pressed my palm against my eye. My fingers were starting to hurt, to stiffen from the cold. 

Most of the pack was gone now, empty cans littering the space around me. The final two cans, they weren't enough. None of it was enough. The warmth bubbling in my chest couldn't overtake every other fucking thing. Tears spilled over my cheeks, accompanied by muted sniffles. The last dredges of alcohol passed my tongue. I stared dejectedly at the can, before standing up. 

I stumbled towards the cliff's edge. I knew what I wanted now. I knew it, I knew it, I knew it. Rocks sat amidst the surf, battered by the waves. Enough I could see the water slosh between them. It was safe. The fall probably wouldn't kill me. Giggles came about from that thought. A fall? Kill me when I'm landing in water? The rocks would kill me, not the fall itself. 

My feet left the ground and I plummeted.

This is crap

But that's why I decided to do what I did with how this chapter is, Niehks knows what I'm talking about, but anyway

Hope you enjoyed it

And also, this chapter is why i shouldn't play video games instead of writing, because they give me ideas

(also might end up editing this later)

See yah