I stood in line, waiting for the demigods in front of me to scrape in the best parts of their meals. The fragrant smoke drifted skyward along with the loud laughter and shouting the kids who had already sacrificed.

When it came to my turn, I didn't hesitate before scraping in more than half of my meal. I didn't specify what god it was going to. I'm pretty sure it'll go to my dad by default, and if it doesn't the Hestia would be the logical one to get it. No one saw how much I dumped in and no one commented on it as I went back to my table.

The food stared up at me, mocking me despite my stomach growling. Nausea swelled up my throat. I took a deep breath before shoveling the small amount of food down my throat. I took a careful sip of water, the cool liquid doing nothing to settle my stomach.

I scanned the other tables, all the happy laughing faces, all of them turned so they weren't looking at me. I glanced up at the head table, where Chiron and Mr D sat talking. Neither of them cast a glance my way and I figured now was as a good of time as any to leave.

It wasn't hard. I don't think anyone noticed me, or at least, nobody cared enough to stop me.

Grass crunched under my sneakers as I headed to the arena, enjoying the quiet. Nobody was there since breakfast hadn't let out yet, so I sat against a crate and closed my eyes. I'm sure nobody will mind if I just close my eyes for a little bit. I just need a little bit more sleep.

The noise came back before I could drift off to sleep. I groaned and got up. I looked at the gathered campers.

"You guys know the drill get your armor on and grab your swords." I made sure to watch them, making mental notes of which ones don't want to be here.

I cracked my knuckles and pulled Riptide out. I uncapped it and stared at the kids as they lined up in front of me.

"How many of you are actually going to listen to me?" I asked. Nobody moved. I sighed and shook my head. "Okay, put your swords back and go find Clarisse. Tell her that her sister is the reason you guys can't use swords, because for whatever reason you guys don't want to put in the effort to learn the proper way to swordfight."

"And what do you know about it?"

I glared at the kid. I didn't recognize him, so I didn't know who his parent was. It didn't help we actually started having lessons by class instead of by cabin.

I stalked over to the kid and pulled him away from the others. I rested the point of Riptide on his shoulder. "Let's see, I was taught how to swordfight by one of the best fighters in camp. I beat Ares in a fight at twelve and then Hades when I had the Curse of Achilles. Then I led two wars against immortal beings older and more powerful than the gods. Do you really, really want to know what I know about fighting?" A twisted smile was spreading across my face.

I removed my sword from his shoulder and capped it. "Go find Clarisse. If Chiron asks where I'm at, I'll be at the canoe lake."

Their equipment wasn't put away when I left and I'm hoping they put it away. I don't want to get yelled at.

Light blinded me as the rising sun reflected off of the choppy surface of the water. I knelt at the edge, staring at my reflection. Waves broke it up and I swallowed. I lifted a hand and touched it to one of the barely visible scars on my face. It's hard to see, but I know it's there.

Just one more reminder of everything that happened. One more reminder of everyone who's died, everyone who I've let die.

My hand hovered outstretched just above the water. It would dip down, but I would never touch the surface.

A sigh left my lips and I withdrew my hand. It's so stupid. I shouldn't be scared. Not of the water. Not of something I have control over.

I haven't went in the water since the war. I'll get a shower, but that's more or less me wiping off with a rag. I don't like the feeling of water on my skin. I- I can't stand it.

I don't know how long I sat there. All I know is that it was long enough for campers to start going out in canoes. I glanced up at them, half tempted to go find someone to go on the lake with me. I immediately got rid of that idea. If the naiads decided to tip the boat... I shuddered, not wanting to imagine it.

My ADHD got the best of me and I stood up to go walk to nowhere in particular, either to end up coming right back here or forget that I wasn't doing anything and find something to do.

My body flew towards the water, after a pair of hands gave me a hard shove. I turned in the air, the kid from earlier stood grinning. I didn't have time to react before my body hit the water.

I'm debating on whether I should get more food or sleep

See yah