Glancing at the patterdale terrier clawing at the door and choosing to ignore, the man turned into a living room and collapsed into the sofa beside a seated woman, who was watching television with a tabby cat in her lap.

"Pottering about doing housework and not a single phone call in" he looked up at the clock, it was 3.15pm "5 hours".

"So how much have you made?" the woman asked.

"Well, nothing..." he started before being interrupted by a harsh sounding baby cry over a radio device somewhere nearby.

"He's off again" the woman said as she grabbed the remote controls and raised the volume.

"I'll get it" the man sighed in exasperation as he slowly rose from the seat, muttering "as usual" under his breath.

*

Within a small nursery, a screaming baby lay in his cot, red colouring indicating high distress. The child failed to calm upon being lifted and held close.

"Filled that nappy already?" the man questioned as he peeped inside to check the nappy for any usage "yeah, thought so" he confirmed.

He cautiously bent down, placed the baby on ground, and then unpeeled the nappy tape. Turning around on his backside and reaching through the bars for the wipes at the end of the cot, the man then awkwardly attempted to clean up whilst holding the still struggling and irritable, child still, a task he was clearly finding quite tedious.

Then...

A sharp an urgent sounding chime sounded.

The phone was ringing.

"Get that will you" he shouted, startling the baby who began a new wave of whales.

"What" the woman shouted back.

"I said..." the phone stopped ringing as he began.

He sighed loudly, looking unimpressed towards the hallway through the door.

*

The man entered into the living room with the now content child.

"Every day I come home to a stinking house, a full nappy that practically slides off him, the cats litter box loaded, the dog whining to get out and mess about the floor, this is after picking Jonathan up from after school club, which after a long days work" he ranted.

"Oh well" the lady replied in sarcasm whilst facing the screen.

"Why don't you get it? I'm knackered!" he shouted, earning a wine from the baby at his hip.

"After a few days of self employment" she enquired as she faced him with a raised eyebrow "coping pretty crap aren't you?".

"And you're no help! Even you could have managed to pick up a phone 9ft away" he said in a raised voice.

"Why should I? It's your phone, you chose to work from home" she paused to adjust herself and continued "and you haven't gone out and worked a hard days' graft since you quit last week, so get over yourself".

"You said you'd be supportive" he said.

"And you need to get real, the world doesn't stop and change for you" the lady replied in a mocking manner.

Then...

The phone rang.

The man turned in the doorway and dashed for the phone, pulling it from the base whilst shifting the baby into a secure position.

"James Jones switchboard" he chimed.

"What... I think I got the wrong love" a woman down the phone said.

"Oh, OK" he replied in a down tone.

"Hey, did ya say ya name was James Jones?" the lady down the phone asked.

"I'm James Jones, yes" he responded.

"I went to school with you, it's Helen Richards, from Bluehill comp'" she stated.

"I never went there ma'am" he said in with a clear lack of patience.

"Yeah ya did, you was in my class, and there was another James Jones year below, and..."

He hung up on her and sighed, placing his now free hand onto his wire-like greying, brown hair.

*

James entered the living room, phone with its cord trailing at his legs and notepad in one arm, baby in the other, he unloaded them beside the sofa bound lady.

"I'm picking up Jonny, answer the phone and write down the details if it rings" he ordered.

"Like a good little wife" she said sarcastically as she lifted the baby onto her lap.

He left the living, walked the short distance towards the front door, and slipped, landing flat on his back.

"That dog's pee'd on the floor" he shouted as his fists thumped the ground.

He turned and struggled to get up; using the wall to support himself.

His wife replied "Well you haven't taken him out all day have you".

*

James returned home some time later, expression suddenly dropping as he took in the noise ahead of him, he had returned to a full house.

"Little Jonny!" a ginger woman shouted over the multiple conversations held by the group of nine, she hold her arms out to the child at James' side, who rushed into her embrace.

James' gaze followed the wire which started in the hallway, which should have lead to a phone seated in the couch, where he has left it, however, in its place were two ladies, between their feet lay the phone headset, its attached receiver nearer to the woman sat on the arm rest.

"How long has this been off the hook" he yelled.

All their conversations abruptly ended.

James got down on the floor to retrieve and place the device back together, earning uncomfortable glances from the ladies who surrounded him as he rifled around their feet.

"Well hello James, it's been a while" a blonde with glasses said casually commented.

"Yeah, nice to see you too, where are your manners" another red haired woman joked.

"I know, what's he like" his wife added.

"How long's it been off the hook?" he asked firmly.

"Not long, I only ordered food about an hour ago" she replied.

"An hour!" he shouted in horror "this... and you used my work phone!"

"Don't speak to her like that" the second red-haired lady shouted.

"What does it matter anyway J, it's not like you've been busy" she defended.

"I could have missed loads of calls by now" he yelled as he sat on his backside, looking aimlessly at the device in his palms.

"That phone rung once after you left" she said.

"It did?" he asked as he perked up, gazing up towards his seated wife.

She giggled as she continued "Yeah, I was in the loo though".