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Bold white letters quickly followed one another across a medium tone blue screen, spelling out 'Layla Fan'.

Below Layla Fan, a number of asterisk appeared on the otherwise blank screen, before the information was clearly submitted, leading onto a new screen with a basic white background and a series of text that impossible to decipher as it was not only small, but nonsensical.

Wearing an obvious cheap, costume shop, long blonde wig and oversized novelty sunglasses, the user reclined backwards on the low and worn office chair, forehead in hands. The individual groaned loudly before returning to a proper seating position and attempting to tackle the conundrum present on the laptop.


The phone rang...


It vibrated violently along the coffee table, bumping into a one of the nearby, fellow older model headset, pushing it off the table and onto the floor.

The individual picked up the phone swiftly and answered in a comical and happy voice, devoid of any particular accent and very high pitch

"You called just in time; you're our 100th caller today"

"No, stop it!" a young sounding lady exclaimed "I won, I won" she screamed clearly away from her device, but loud enough to be heard "No really" she continued away from her phone, assumedly to someone in her proximity.

Whilst an exchange went on the other end, the individual typed with a free hand before offering "Congratulations! Who are you and where are you from?"

"Oh, oh, oh, Sky! I'm Sky Loveits from Omshire, erm, I'm 13, erm..."

"And are you looking forward to receiving your brand new Robocandy s17?" the announcer interrupted.

"Yeah, of course! Oh my gosh I can't wait!" the excitable girl responded.

"OK, congrats again and please stay on the line" the individual asked whilst rising from the chair and walking towards a window. Beside the window sat a black box covered in black duck tape, upon opening the box, a thick polystyrene interior was revealed, the box harboured a Dictaphone, which the individual switched on; it played classical music; a fast pace piano piece. The individual harshly chucked the mobile and the Dictaphone into the box before covering them with the lid.

Giving an exasperated huff and a shake of the head, the individual returned to the beaten office chair at the coffee table, facing the screen of text with an open mouth.

As if an epiphany had just struck, the individual raised an index finger and both eyebrows.


With fingers now hovering over the keyboard...


The phone rang...


Unlike the previous monotone ring, this mobile sounded a shrill, attention grabbing tune. The individual seemed very startled by this particular phone, though perhaps not down to its melody...

Hesitantly reaching for it, grasping it and staring at the screen with a fearful expression the individual answered, speaking in a calm and clear male voice "Hello boss".

"What's taking you so long?" the male on the other end asked


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