"I hated it so much. I became angry with myself.."

I had felt like I did something wrong. For the first time in my life I finally felt confident, Until he hadn't called && knocked every thing down for me. I questioned myself so much & I didn't even know why.Everything was going fine!! What did I do wrong?!!!

By the time I was ready to go to sleep I cried myself to sleep because I was so confused & lost & knew at the same time he would never like me or find me attractive. Have you ever looked in the mirror & thought "I wish I was pretty " or "ew I'm so ugly" ?? Well I have.
Somehow I've always found a way to remind myself that every single morning. I hated myself for some reason.

The next morning

I walked inside of my chemistry class looking so unhappy && my eyes were still swollen from the tears that fell down my face last night. At this point I hated this class because of my seat, I knew I would have to face looking at his face he made me feel happy but then made me feel like I did something wrong. He didn't have to say a word ..I felt , with a single glance from him. After we were 5 minutes into class Jeremy had said "hay babe" I didn' reply, I was still angry at the fact that he hadn't called . He was acting as if he didn't do anything wrong. Then he said "umm.. sorry I didn't call my mom disconnected all types of technology for me". Knowing I had the chance to talk to him I just nodded to him with a smirk. But I had a feeling he was lying. He said " so you not talking to me" I just kept quiet & shrugged my shoulders. At that moment when me & him were having that small of a conversation ,it made me feel happy or at least a bit better from what I did last night. I was embarrassed though, I looked like trash. I had a loose sweatshirt & some black ripped jeans with my Nike slippers , my hair was in a messy high bun. I looked ridiculous. Even some of my mascara was left under my eye. I was so angry that night that I even woke up with anger that morning not noticing what clothes I was leaving the house with.
Sorry this chapter is short but I want to save the juicy parts for the next chapter
~Andrea