From childhood's hour I have not been as others were; I have not seen as others saw. - Edgar Allan Poe

                                                                                **Flashback**

AJ's POV

I am so late, Bella is going to have my head on a stick roasted with cheese. That actually really sounded gross. I am so nervous for tonight, I hope nothing goes wrong. Tonight Bella and I are going out since it is our last day of summer aka freedom. I have something special in mind for her though, it is the least I can do. I would do anything for her, I love Bella so much it hurts mentally and physically for me to even think about her leaving me. So that saying I bought her a promise ring and I have one to match, some might think it is even to early for that but my love for Bella is beyond words. Good thing Bella only lives one neighborhood down from me otherwise I would be extremely late. I make sure I have the rings, my wallet, phone  and my car keys before heading out the door. When I am approaching Bella's street I see a bunch of bright lights from police cars and ambulance trucks and a crowd of pedestrians. Memories start to flood and my heartbeat quickens. I think about Bella and about how this night had to be special and push aside my oncoming anxiety attack. I park at the curb of a nearby house and I realize that everyone is at Bella's house . When I finally push my way through I see them bringing out someone in a black body bag. The hair on the back of my neck stands up and I knew it was her. My panic attack is trying to break through the surface as I start to shout her name and run towards the ambulance truck.

"Bella! Bella! Please don't be you I need you alive here with me!"

Even though I knew it was her I needed to be sure, I was able to get through the tape bordering the driveway and explain to them how I was a girl's boyfriend and how she lived here. I just want some answers even if it kills me. The paramedic told me it was indeed Bella in the bag. I feel like my body temperature dropped and my soul left me because I feel lifeless. It wasn't until they told me she committed suicide that I went crazy. I fell to the ground so in shock that my senses stopped working. I can't see anyone or even hear everyone I was just dazed. It feels like  someone literally ripped my heart out of my chest.

                                                                              * End of flashback*

I wake up in a hospital room with its bright lights, clean white walls and loud machines. It wasn't until I looked down that I see a letter, it says it is from Bella but I can't open it. My arms feel heavy and my heart starts beating fast. One of the machines start rapidly beating, and I think I am having another panic attack. I keep getting flashbacks from finding my mother dead and seeing Bella in the body bag with the paramedic telling me she committed suicide. I don't know what to do Bella is the only one that could stop my panic attacks after my mothers death. Nurses and doctors flood my room to calm me down but I can't. I become more frantic because in my mind I can hear the voices of my dad, my mom and Bella. My heart can't take anymore.

"Just end the pain please I can't take anymore! I just want to end my life, I want the voices to stop!"

After my outburst I see one of the doctors putting something in the IV bag. The voices stop, my heartbeat slows down and soon I am engulfed into sleep.

Doctor's pov: (A/N The doctor is not a main character but he is frequent character.)

" Nurse can you come here for a second? What does it say on that boy's chart, I am really worried about him."

" Well he has no next of kin because both of his parents have died. He is emitted here because his girlfriend died the same way his mother did and he collapsed after hearing the news. He has been here in the past for medicine for his rise of anxiety and panic attacks and severe depression at one point. Also he has not come back for a refill on those prescriptions."

" Oh wow well I am going to go refill his prescriptions so can you and nurse Jen watch after him please? He should wake up in a couple of hours and when he does I want to be the first to know."

" Yes sir, I will inform Jen as well."

                                                                           * Hours Later *

AJ's pov:

Ugh I feel like I have been hit in the head repeatedly. I try to call for a nurse but it feels like my vocal cords are rubbing against sandpaper. So I find the hospital remote to call a nurse. When she finally comes in she looks scared and I can't help but be sorry. I point to my throat and she seems to get the message. Although did she come back with my water but she brought back a doctor. When the nurse  handed me my water I just nodded to her as a thank you. I then downed the water in two seconds it felt like.

"Thank you nurse Jen for the water and I am sorry for freaking out earlier. I wasn't myself."

"Oh you are fine, your reaction is understandable. I am sorry for your loss Mr. Jones."

With that statement she left the doctor and I to talk in private. The doctor started the conversation before it became too awkward.

"Okay Mr. Jones I am a very blunt person and I need you to be honest with every question I ask."

" Okay, what are your questions?"

"Why haven't you come back to fill your prescriptions?"

" Well because my love came into my life and my depression withered away and I was happy. As for my panic attacks I rarely had them but when I did my love was there to calm me down and she was the only one who knew how to do it."

"This love you are talking about recently passed away am I correct?"

I couldn't muster up a response to his question. When I closed my eyes I saw her smiling and laughing . She was so beautiful. My heartbeat began to quicken so I took a deep breath to try to not have another panic attack.. My thoughts were interrupted by the doctor's words.

"Mr. Jones are you alright?"

"Sorry yes I am okay in a sense but yes she passed away."

As I said those words I couldn't help the tear that fell down my face.

"Okay well Mr. Jones I would like to make you a deal with you. I am going to give you refills of your medication and you need to take them daily, when you are running low call me and speak to only me. Your medications should last you for a month. If you do not meet these requirements I will place you in a clinic where you will be under observation. Your depression and panic attacks are severe and I don't want you to hurt yourself or others. Are my conditions achievable Mr. Jones?"

"Yes sir, but doctor what is your name and how did I get direct contact to you?"

" My name is Dr. Gillies and here is my card. It has my work, personal and home numbers on it. I will get your medicine and discharge papers ready so you can go. I will also give you a doctor's note because you missed the first day back to school. You will be able to go back tomorrow. One last thing Mr. Jones, I am sorry for your loss."

"Thank you Dr.Gillies."

School, what am I going to do, what is even my game plan? All day I will have people who really don't care about me in my face saying how sorry they are. School will especially remind me more of her. I walked Bella to every class weather it made me late or not, we shared a locker and for lunch we went out and brought our lunch back to the school. Neither of us liked cafeteria food. Everyday for the past two years we sat in the same spot in the lunchroom. I even gave her a huge party in the lunchroom to ask her to junior prom. To show her how much I loved her again at my State Champion game where there were people from the news were there I asked her to junior prom again. She was so confused of why I was asking again I told her it was because I loved her so much and I wanted the world to witness how much I did. Then I kissed her. As I am thinking about her I remembered that I had a note from her. I look around the room and see the note on top of my neatly folded clothes. Bella used to fold clothes just like that, because as weird as it sounds I can't fold clothes so I just hang them on hangers. Shaking my head I go in the bathroom and quickly change into my clothes . I take one good look in the mirror and turn away.

"You look Like shit", I told myself.

Sitting on the bed waiting for Dr.Gillies to come back I get the letter. Slowly I open it, but I didn't realize I was crying until my tears touched the envelope. Harshly wiping my tears away I take out the letter to read it.

"We will meet again. I love you much and don't ever forget that. Adiós por ahora mi amor."

What the hell did that mean, "We will meet again." Bella didn't even write down WHY she left me. I just need to know WHY so I can fix me. I am obviously the problem. WHY couldn't I see she was hurting? WHY didn't she just come talk to me? WHY me?!

A/N Hi guys well here is the second chapter I hope you like it. Comment and Vote, don't be a silent reader. PrettyTayler this chapter goes to you chica. Gracias por leer mi libro tiene un buen día. To answer everyone's question Yes I do speak Spanish just a little bit. XOXO Renee_Salvatore