whumptober day 1 - let's hang out sometime - hanging

fandom: tangled

set: during the movie/before the movie (in flashbacks)

tw: suicidal thoughts, bullying (including a bully encouraging to commit suicide), verbal abuse, it's just really dark

summary: the prospect of eugene's upcoming execution takes him back to a painful memory

notes: first off, i'm sorry. second, i haven't finished tangled the series yet (i'm in the middle of season 2), and i know there's a bunch revealed about eugene's past in season 3 which i haven't exactly spoiled for myself but i have a vague idea of. so, forgive me if there's inaccuracies about his past.

wordcount: 2250

Eugene hadn't stopped pacing all night. All he could think about was Rapunzel, considering the same helpless questions over and over again. How had they known about her? What would they do with her? What about her mother? Did she have anything to do with this?

His mind returned to her suspicions of him when he first stumbled into her tower.

Would they really try to sell it?

But she'd shown him the strand which had been cut when she was a baby.

How on earth could a baby have that much hair?

That wasn't the point.

She'd said that when it was cut, it turned brown and lost all of its power.

She'd be cute as burnette.

Focus.

So if they tried to cut it to sell, it would be useless.

What would they do to her then?

What if they just sold her instead?

No, no, no, no.

He had to get out of here and get to her.

He couldn't get out of here.

He'd made some amazing jailbreaks in the past, but never alone from the palace dungeon. He'd always been too good for that. There was no way to break out of here by himself.

So what was going to happen to Rapunzel? What was happening to her now?

No, no, no, no.

He turned back to the window, and saw that the sun was up, casting a box of light into his dark little cell.

The night had felt like the longest of his life.

What had it felt like for Rapunzel?

He stared through the bars of the windows, his hands coming up to clutch the metal as panic welled inside of him for the millionth time.

He was useless, worthless. All he wanted was to be by her side, and instead he was here, trapped, because he'd spent his entire life in a useless, worthless existence.

He heard footsteps approaching, then the sound of his cell being unlocked. He turned to see the captain of the guard and two of his underlings standing in the opening.

"Let's get this over with, Rider."

His mind had been so focused on Rapunzel and the fact that he was being kept from her that he'd almost forgotten the reality of being in prison.

"Where are we going?" he asked softly.

The captain just lifted his chin a little, and a cold hand clutched at Eugene's heart as his hand unconsciously found its way to his neck.

"Oh."

The underlings crossed the cell and handcuffed him behind his back, then took him by either arm and led him out into the main part of the dungeon, but he barely even registered it happening.

His mind was overtaken by a memory, deeply and purposefully repressed in the back of his mind, which he'd refused to relive in the seven years since it happened.

Eugene closed the book, and the younger orphans sleepily stumbled off in the directions of their respective beds. The sixteen-year-old glanced at his own pile of worn blankets, but he knew deep down he wouldn't be able to sleep. He never could, at least not until he'd gotten a little fresh air.

So, he tucked his precious book into his blankets and headed for the window.

He'd given up on hiding his nightly exhibitions from the other kids a long time ago. He was loved and respected by all of them, and they hadn't told yet, thus were unlikely to at all.

Besides, the older he got, the less he cared about the prospect of getting in trouble. Life seemed worthless, empty, and part of him wondered if that void might be somewhat filled by the rush of adrenaline that came with troublemaking, the sweet satisfaction of defying authority. It was a craving inside of him which grew stronger by the day.

Maybe that was why his parents had left him to find adventure on the horizon. Maybe abandoning their child had felt good.

He used to believe that they were coming back, that they were out there looking for things to give him a better life, but that hope had waned with every passing year. Whoever they were, whatever they were doing, they'd clearly seen their lives as being better without him in them.

They were probably right.

No, they were certainly right.

As he scrambled up onto the window sill, he was paused by the voice of one of the younger children.

"Eugene?"

He turned, and saw Casper, a nearly ten-year-old, looking at him from his place on the floor.

"Yeah, Casper?"

"Will you bring me back something from your adventure?" the little boy asked timidly.

A small smile touched Eugene's face. "Of course I will."

"Thank you." The boy hesitated before adding, "And Eugene?"

"Yeah?"

"Sometime, could I maybe go with you?"

Again, he couldn't help but smile. "You know what?" he whispered. "Your tenth birthday's in two days, isn't it? I think the perfect way to celebrate would be to come with me."

An excited shine entered the boy's eyes, and he smiled eagerly. "Really?"

"Really. Now go to sleep. I'll give you what I bring back in the morning."

Obediently, Casper snuggled under his thin blanket, and Eugene eased the window open and slid his lean body through the crack before dropping to the ground below.

As he straightened, he inhaled deeply, breathing the fresh night air. This was his favorite place in the world.

"Hey!"

He whirled around sharply, and felt his stomach drop. Standing at the corner of the building he'd just exited was Albert, the son of the couple who ran the orphanage.

He was a few years older than Eugene, and bigger, and had always had it out for him, though Eugene had never known why.

"What do you think you're doing, you little worm?" Albert asked, an evil glint in his eyes.

"Uh, what am I doing?" Eugene asked. "What I'm doing is actually something very important, it's actually... er... you see, one of the kids lost their pet roly-poly. Wouldn't go to sleep until I promised to go find it. Thought I'd just grab the first one I saw, not like the kid will be able to tell the difference, am I right?"

"Why didn't you use the door?" Albert growled.

He spread his hands like that was obvious. "And pass by the rooms where you and your parents sleep, risk waking you up? That would have been so inconsiderate!"

"You're a liar, Fitzherbert," the bigger boy growled. "You're a worthless little liar, and everyone would be better off without you."

He took a step forward. Eugene swallowed hard and flinched a step back.

"I know you sneak out every night, little worm." Another step forward. "I've seen you, night after night. I always hope you won't come back, but you always do."

Eugene searched his face for a lie, a sign that he was just being cruel and he didn't really mean it. But there was none. He'd meant every word he'd said so far.

A smile Eugene swore had to belong to crazy man touched Albert's face. "So I made something for you. Just for you, Eugene. You wanna see it?"

"Uh, ya know, as good as that sounds..."

Before he could tuck away, the bully closed the distance between them and took him by the collar, holding on as he tried to pull away.

"You wouldn't be that rude, would you now? I worked so hard on this, and I did it just for you."

As the fear built in Eugene's stomach, his mouth started to run, just like it always did.

"Okay, you know, I mean this with love, I really do. But you're acting just a little bit crazy right now. Alright? Just being honest. And I don't really like going places with crazy people. So how about we both just take a step back, take a deep breath, go back to bed, and pick up this discussion in the morning?"

He wasn't expecting the punch, making it that much more painful as it connected with his jaw and immediately made his vision swim and become spotty. "Don't ever call me crazy again, Fitzherbert!" Albert spat, pulling Eugene's face so it was only a few inches away from his own. "Never again!"

"Okay, okay!" He pulled again, but the other boy was still holding on too tight. "Crazy was the wrong word. Weird, you're acting weird."

Albert began to drag him in the direction of the barn which housed his family's cows and chickens, and fear began to give way to panic for Eugene.

"Please! I don't know where we're going, but I just... I really need to get back... the kids... they... they..."

Still holding him with one hand, Albert hauled the barn door open, then dragged him inside.

The sight that met Eugene made his blood run cold.

A noose was hung from the barn rafters.

Was he... he couldn't...

The boy was a jerk, but murder?

Was he about to die?

"Look..." His own voice came out a croak. "Whatever... whatever it is I did... I swear I'll make it right... I... you can't..."

"Oh, I'm not gonna do anything," the other boy told him simply. "I'm just opening up your options for you."

"What do you mean?" the question came out a whisper. He'd stopped struggling.

"Fitzherbert, we all know you're a worthless little worm." He said it like an indisputable fact. "Like I said before, everyone would be better off without you. You have a miserable existence. Don't you ever wish you could end it?"

"I... no... no of course I..."

"Just think about it, Eugene," Albert murmured, his voice strangely gentle. "You'd never have to confront your own failures again. Your parents abandoned you, and you know you deserved it. The kids all think you're a screw up. My parents hate you. Everyone hates you. You even hate yourself. I know you do."

"I... I don't..."

Did he?

"Like I said, just think about it." Albert let go, and for some reason, he didn't run. "I hope you make the right decision. I hope I don't have to talk to you in the morning."

He left. Eugene didn't.

The kid was sick. He was crazy.

He'd always been a little off... always had a bit of a manic look in his eyes, always enjoyed it a little too much when his mother asked him to kill a chicken. He'd always begged his father to whip Eugene, even for the tiniest things. Loved every second of it when he did. He needed help. He was wrong, and he was crazy.

Did the kids really think he was a screw up?

He was a screw up.

No, he was an orphan.

His parents had abandoned him.

He didn't hate himself.

He just felt like a burden and a nothing and like all he did was...

So maybe he did hate himself.

But he didn't want to die.

Did he?

He'd never really thought about it before.

No, no, no, no.

He couldn't go there.

He couldn't do this.

Why not? Who would care.

A stool was set up under the noose. He stepped up onto it for some reason.

No, no, no, no.

He fingered the rope carefully.

Everyone hates you. You even hate yourself. I know you do.

His hands closed around the rope.

Maybe he should...

Casper's innocent, eager eyes met him in his memory, and he stumbled backwards sharply, tripping off of the stool and hard on the dirt behind it.

He ran, mindlessly grabbing a rock as he did, all the way back to the window and scrambled through.

Casper was asleep. He left the rock next to his pillow and made his way to his own bed, trying not to hyperventilate.

What had just happened?

He let Albert get inside his head. That was all the words of a bully, not his own thoughts.

He hoped.

Eugene looked outside, to where the moon was shining through the dirty glass, and he knew he needed to get out of here.

He'd promised Casper an outing on his birthday. He'd stay til then.

Then, he was going to run, and he was going to go far, far away.

Eugene had refused to think of that night since the sun had come up the next morning.

Even when Albert's parents found the noose and knew he'd had something to do with it, immediately sent him off to a monastery to overcome his inner demons, he'd refused to think about his part in that awful night.

But now, knowing a noose was waiting for him at the end of this walk, he couldn't help it.

Maybe he was worthless.

Maybe he had lived a worthless life.

But Rapunzel hadn't, Rapunzel wasn't.

Rapunzel was a really good reason to keep living.

Idk. I was really hyped about that and idk how I feel about how it turned out. Oh well. Please let me know what you think.