WPOV

Stillness.

I buried myself under the blankets and stared at the bedroom ceiling. It was early, but I was already so tired. I didn't have the energy to fight with my mom. The screaming matches hurt both of us.

She's doing the best she can. I thought, finding patterns in the plaster. She just doesn't understand.

Everything was a mess. I couldn't stop thinking about how it was all my fault. I was the one who destroyed us.

A knock on my door made me jump. My dad's voice sounded hesitant. "Hey, Will. I need to talk to you..." He tried the handle. "You know you aren't allowed to lock your door."

I didn't want to talk to anyone. I thought about pretending to be asleep, but I knew my dad. He wasn't going to leave unless I let him in.

"Give me a second." I groaned.

I pushed back the mass of blankets and forced myself to stand. When I opened the door for him, I couldn't bring myself to look at his face. I don't know why - I just couldn't.

The two of us moved to sit in on my bed. Inches apart, with a wall of uneasiness between us. His presence alone was making my heart beat faster and my palms sweat. Maybe he wanted to yell at me, or maybe it was about Nico. What if it was bad?

My mind raced. It was too fast for the thoughts to be clear, but more what ifs centered around terrible possibilities. What if they closed the case? What if they found Nico's body? What if it was too late to save him?

He could be a rotting corpse and I'd have no way of knowing. 

My dad eventually spoke. "How are you holding up?"

"I'm okay." I said, wanting him to drop it. Both of us knew I was lying. 

"You don't look okay."

"Well, I am."

I turned to face him for the first time. He was chewing on his lip, deep in thought.

"Is it about Nico?" I asked tentatively, scared of the answer.

"I'm that obvious, huh?" He gave me a hollow, empty laugh. "It kind of is? I don't know.... There haven't been any updates on his case. I actually wanted to talk to you about your mother."

I remembered all of our arguments. "I'm sorry. I've been trying to avoid her... I already know what you're going to say."

"I just want you two to at least make an effort to get along. I've been trying to be the mediator, but you're at each other's throats."

"If this sounds disrespectful, I swear I don't mean it to be," I told him. "but... What do you expect? She hasn't looked at me the same way since she found out about Nico and I...."

His mouth twitched slightly. "Will, her behavior has nothing to do with your sexuality."

"How do you know?"

As much as I hated to admit it, her opinion mattered. I wanted her approval. Her not being okay with that part of me explained so much. It explained why she didn't like hearing the best times I spent with Nico, my happiest memories.

Although he kept a gentle tone, my dad's hands flew to his hips. "I was dating a guy when I first met your mom. I highly doubt she cares."

I blinked at him, but I wasn't surprised. I actually felt pretty stupid.

"Now let's talk about things that actually matter." He said, changing the subject with raised eyebrows. "If it helps, she's been distancing herself from me these past few days, too. I think she feels guilty about not solving the case sooner - especially since she knows you and di Angelo were together."

"I never thought about it that way." I whispered.

Was I really that self-absorbed? Families were supposed to be there for each other, and here I was, tearing mine apart. Even worse, I was laying in my room feeling sorry for myself instead of doing something.

I needed to apologize to my mom. That was something I was capable of fixing, for once.

"Do you know where mom is?" I asked. She had left the house earlier, but she wasn't supposed to be working.

"I told her to take a day to relax, I think she's hanging out with her friends. You should go ahead and get some sleep. You can talk to her in the morning."

He stood, walking towards the door. "Goodnight. I love you."

"I love you, too."

A/N ~ I meant for this to be up forever ago

lol oops