NPOV

As the morning wore on it became almost impossible to ignore how different Will was acting. I could tell he was trying hard to keep me oblivious, but the little things kept tipping me off.

He bit his lip. He pushed his hands through his hair. He fidgeted. He was less focused on tutoring me and more focused on casting glances towards Frank (whenever he thought I wasn't looking).

"What's got you so distracted?" I finally asked, shutting my binder so I could give him my full attention.

"What? Nothing." But the sky in eyes clouded over and flickered with something. I couldn't tell for sure, but I thought it was.... guilt?

I shrugged off my uneasiness - that couldn't be it.

But it was something.

"Will, whatever it is, it's not 'nothing'. Tell me what's going on."

He shifted in his seat once more, and when he spoke his words came out uncertain, with an edge to them. "Promise you won't get mad?"

Those words could mean too many things, none of which good. My mind was immediately thrown into overdrive. I felt a rush of anxiety course through me.

I spoke, my voice having a strange pitch to it. "I can't promise you that.... just tell me."

"Okay." He pushed a hand through his curls. "Remember when I went to your house that night? Luke said he won his truck gambling?"

"Yes." This is bad, why is he bringing this up?

"I told you that my mom and her partner were investigating a case, involving the murder of a little girl and her brother getting abducted. The guy who did it used to own the truck, right?"

"Yes.... but you didn't tell anyone about Luke owning it now? I mean, it's not going to help solve anything. The police knowing about it will only get Luke and Ethan in trouble for all the drugs...." Please tell me you kept it a secret.

"I didn't tell my mom." Will said, and those words might have sounded a lot more reassuring if I didn't hear his next sentence. "I, uh, told Frank."

"What?"

Will talked fast, trying to calm me down before my shock turned into something else. "Look, his dad is my mom's partner for the case. Frank's been trying to solve it, too - for his own reason. He promised not to say anything about your friends or the truck."

I could still feel myself getting upset. I've worked so hard to keep Octavian a secret - and I was able to for years. Years. Suddenly everything was coming apart, and it was all because I fell in love with Will and dumbly let him walk me 'home'.

He was getting too close to the truth. The truth was dangerous.

I can't lose him.

Will must've seen my expression change. He grabbed my hand. "Nico-"

"I'm fine. You said Frank won't tell?" He gave me a hesitant nod, and I knew he was still waiting on a bigger reaction from me. But I'm no stranger to hiding feelings. For good measure, I forced myself to sound lighthearted. "Let's hope Frank is better at keeping secrets than you are."

~

Today was a free day for the most part. We still had to go to our first class, but from there our teacher would direct us to either the gym or another classroom to watch movies.

The class was loud, everyone talking over each other. Mr. Brunner didn't seem to care, shuffling through the papers on his desk.

After a few minutes, he found the paper he must've been looking for. It only took one look from him for the conversation among students to stop. Holding the paper, he started to write names on the board.

Conner

Travis

Hazel

Drew

And that was it. He put the marker down.

"If you see your name on the board, go to Mrs. Athena's room." Mr. Brunner said. "The rest of you guys need to go to the gym for the scoliosis check. When you get there, there should be a separate line for male and female students. You'll be taken behind a curtain and a medical professional will feel the alignment of your spine. Understand?"

A girl, whose name I didn't know, raised her hand.

"What your question?" Mr. Brunner asked kindly.

"How exactly are they going to check?"

"First, you'll be sent behind the curtain and take your jackets off. The person checking will put their hands on your back and ask you bend in certain ways. They may ask you to lift your shirt up. If they think something's wrong, your parents will be notified. Any other questions?"

"After that we get to go outside?" Leo called out, not bothering to raise his hand and earning laughs from other students.

"Exactly. You guys can go ahead and leave."

That was the cue everyone was waiting for. People jumped out of their seats and went through the door like a mob.

"C'mon, Neeks." Will said, already standing, confused when he saw I was still in my seat.

"Give me a minute, I need to talk to Mr. Brunner."

"Okay. I'll wait for you." He called after me as I turned away from him, moving to approach the teacher's desk.

When Mr. Brunner saw me, he flashed a warm smile. "Hello, Nico. What can I do for you?"

"I-I turned in the form." I told him, struggling to keep the panic out of my voice. "Did it get lost or...?"

"It didn't go through. I'm sorry, but you can't have anyone sign the paper unless they're your legal guardian. I don't know who Juniper is, but the only acceptable signature, according to the records, is someone's by the name of Octavian Anderson."

"Oh, okay. I'm sorry."

"No trouble."

I walked out the door, feeling sick. I was only vaguely aware that Will was still with me.

"Time to go to the gym! I'll hold your jacket for you while we're in line." Will was holding my hand and lacing our fingers together. "Hey, who's Octavian?"

I stopped in my tracks, startling my boyfriend. I spoke, with words that were frantic and desperate. My tone probably raised some red flags on Will's end, but I was too caught up in the moment to care. "He's nobody, okay? Forget about him."

Will could tell he hit a sensitive topic. He changed the subject. "Okay, let's just go."

I had to think of something quick. I couldn't get stuck in the line - everything would come undone.

I walked for a bit before I had an idea and slipped my hand out of Will's.

"You know what? I'm going to use the bathroom first. I'll meet up with you later." I tried keeping my mannerisms normal, pecking Will on the cheek.

"You sure?"

I nodded.

"Alright, see ya soon."

~

I waited until Will and the last of the students disappeared down the hallway before opening one of the supply closets and ducking inside, letting the door slam behind me.

I stood in the darkness, with my back pressed against the cool wood of the door. I leaned into it and let it take some of my weight.

And I stayed like that for what felt like forever, trying to calm myself down. Half of me was expecting a teacher to burst in and demand to know why I wasn't in the gym. But, after a couple of minutes went by, that worry disappeared. I figured they were probably busy with the rest of the students, not noticing when one slipped away.

I blindly searched for a light switch, using my hand to sweep the wall. Eventually, I found one and flicked it on.

The space I found myself in sent a painful reminder of where I stay at Octavian's. There were a few boxes stacked on shelves, labeled with the contents they held inside. Despite the cleaning supplies in the corner, everything was coated in a layer of dust.

I noticed a full-length mirror that was leaning against the wall. It was ugly and plain, obviously a backup for one of the bathrooms.

I made it a rule a long time ago: avoid mirrors.

But now I knew I wasn't hiding the damage from just my friends and teachers; I was hiding it from myself.

My fingers itched to take the jacket off, to lift up my shirt and force myself to look at the reason why I was in this situation in the first place.

This isn't a good idea. My head was warning me, You hide for a reason, don't you remember? You might fall apart. This might break you.

Before I could talk myself out of it, my jacket was off and on the floor. But I had to see what Octavian has done to me in it's entirety. I lifted my t-shirt, with shaking hands.

Then I looked.

A gasp tugged itself past my lips and I felt my eyes widen. I was always in too much denial to realize how bad it really was.

Pale scars were all over my torso and up my sides, a networking of random lines that sometimes came together to form words. They crossed over each other too many times for someone to guess what they used to say, but now I remembered that I never forgot.

A collage of bruises discolored the majority of my flesh - shades of blues and purples, greens and browns.

Stains of fire and scalding water and hot metal brands also decorated my body, deep maroons that were mottled and mangled. Some were sunken, others looked more rigid, almost taut. The older scars had an unsettling shine to them.

I was painfully thin, a walking skeleton. I could count my ribs.

I didn't recognize myself, I wasn't able to look my reflection in the eye. And I don't know when I started crying,

but

I

couldn't

stop.

Soon my tears had escalated into a full-fledged breakdown.

My hands found themselves pulling at my hair. My body found itself falling to it's knees. Everything was too much. I felt like the weight of the world was crushing me, but it was only the weight of what Octavian had done.

I wanted to rip everything apart, to self-destruct and take the whole universe with me.

Instead, I sobbed at the unfairness of it all. For the first time since it all went to Hell, I allowed myself to mourn the life I used to have, and the life I never will.

Octavian's waiting for me at the trailer.

He scares me.

I'm weak. I'm disgusting.

Luke and Ethan got hurt because of me.

I'm going to end up hurting Will, too. It's only a matter of time.

My sister is dead. DEAD.

And the sickest thing of all? Part of me blamed her. Why did she have to let go of my hand? Why did she leave me on the sidewalk? Now she's gone.

Bianca is gone and I'm alone.

~

I was so wrapped up with my breakdown that I didn't even hear the door open.

But I heard the gasp.

Through blurred vision, I snapped my attention to see Hazel Levesque. She was standing in the door frame with her hand covering her mouth, eyes wide.

"Nico?"

NO NO NO NO NO

"H-Hazel." My mouth felt like it was full of cotton. I scrambled to my feet, stumbling over my own panic and desperation. "This isn't what it looks like, I-I can explain."

What exactly did it look like? I know I looked pathetic. My face was red and tears of self-pity were still flowing down my cheeks.

She wasn't focused on that, though. Her eyes were too busy taking in the sight of my bare arms.

NO

WHY WAS I SO STUPID?!

"What happened?" Hazel asked, shock overwhelming any other emotions that played out in her voice.

She hurried inside the closet and shut the door. I noticed with a pang to my chest that she started crying, too.

I put my hands out in front of me, a gesture for her to stay back. 

"I-I don't-" My thoughts were scattered, I couldn't think straight. I didn't know what to do because my entire world felt like it was ending.

"Oh, Nico...." Her voice was barely above a whisper. "Who did this to you?"

And that's what did me in. The last of my resolve crumbled. I started sobbing again, I didn't even bother to try to stop this time. What was the point? Hazel already saw everything. She needed to hear an explanation, one I couldn't give her.

So I stood there, crying like the piece of shit I was. I didn't expect for her to rush forward and wrap her arms around me and envelop me in a hug.

I wanted to push her away. I just didn't deserve it.

I couldn't bring myself to, though. Hazel was so sincere, I was so sick and tired.

And I was sick and tired of being sick and tired. 

Sometime later, she pulled away. "Nico, I need you to tell me everything, okay? I'll make sure Frank's dad and the rest of the police hear about it. You need help...."

"I can't. You don't understand-"

"This needs to be reported." She said quietly, gently. Now she was rubbing circles into my back. "I know it's hard, but it needs to be reported. Someone's hurting you." 

I needed to buy some time. I can't let anyone know about Octavian. I'm going to have to lie myself out of this one.

"P-Please don't tell anyone. It's something I have to handle myself." I mumbled, not meeting her eyes.

"Nico-"

The key to lies is consistency. 

"It's my brother, okay?" I forced the words past the lump in my throat, hoping they sounded convincing. I used the same lie I told Grover and Juniper. "He gets violent sometimes."

Hazel moved a little closer, not quite believing me. "What about your parents?"

Stay consistent. Use what you told Will.

"My mom died in a fire. Ever since then my dad doesn't like to stick around."

"I'm sorry." She sounded genuine. "Does Will know?"

"No. He thinks I live with someone else.... I can't let him know what's actually going on." I whispered because the confession had too much weight. 

"There are people out there who can help you. I know he's your brother, but you have to get away from him. I mean, look at your arms! It's been going on for too long."

I looked down.

She was right. At this rate, the only way I'd be able to get away from Octavian is if he had some sort of overdose and died.

"I know it has, you're right." I said it carefully, sticking to my lie. "But he's still my brother. It'll be reported eventually, but I need to be the one who reports it. I'm just not ready to yet, okay?" 

We locked eyes. She didn't look convinced. 

"Okay. I won't tell. But you need to.... and soon."

I didn't believe her.

She already saw a part of me I kept hidden, one of the darkest secrets. Hazel isn't the type of person who would let something like that go. 

She reached to grab a box labelled 'movies' and opened the door.

"I'll see you tomorrow, Nico. I'm sorry about everything. Let me know if there's anything I can do to help - I mean anything."

A/N ~ Hi everyone :)

Sorry this update ended up being so late (all my teachers slammed me with homework, I still have a three page psychology paper to write)

BUT I HOPE IT WAS WORTH IT

This chapter was super tricky to write, but the plot is finally advancing and I'm so excited

SOOO EXCITED SGSBFJAHDIX