In general, none of the chapter names have anything to do with the actual content on the chapter. Let's get this shit STARTED!

Crimson: So, you all telling me that none of you know what was wrong with the movie? Sona, your not included. Rias, why don't you try to tell me what was wrong with it?

Rias: Well first off, the Titans weren't monsters, but the parents of the gods. And Zeus didn't take them all down by himself.

Crimson: Good start, but it wasn't the Titans that were the parents of the gods, but two in particular: Kronos and Rhea. Somehow, beneath all the hair on your head, there is a functioning brain. Don't act like you pay attention in my class. I've seen you looking out the window at something.

Rias: Hey tha-

Crimson: don't get me wrong, you're doing better than most of the class, but you seem to have too much pride for your own good. That will wrap it up for today class. Do whatever you want until the bell rings.

The class looks at him in confusion, not sure whether he's serious or not. At least, until he pulls out his phone and plugs in some earbuds. The bell rings and they leave the class.

Crimson: Thank god. Those kids don't know the first thing about the world around them.

Crimson hears Issei Hyoudou yelling about how he's got a girlfriend.

Crimson:*thinking* Probably one of the Fallen Angels that have been running around. The big question is, should I help or not. And who should I help, the perv or the Fallen. Probably the Fallen. Fuckin hate pervs.

As Crimson walks out of the school, he sees Issei's girlfriend.

Crimson: *mumbling* Ah, so Raynare is gonna be his killer. Gotta thank Envy for stealing those files from the Grigori later.

Once Crimson steps out of sight, he teleports to the Familiar Forest.

Crimson: Now, should I look for a familiar, or should I find a dragon and get onto our side. Eh, why not both. Now, where did the familiar master say that Tiamat lives?

A teleportation circle opens up and Pride steps through

Pride: What the hell are you doing here of all places?

Crimson: Recruiting a dragon.

Pride: Tiamat?

Crimson: Tiamat.

Pride: If I remember correctly, she lives in the cave on top of one of the taller mountains.

Crimson: Well, we better start looking. Who knows you might even get a familiar while we're at it!

Pride: True, but if we don't find Tiamat, I'm gonna be pissed.

Crimson:*points at a random mountain* Let's go to that mountain first!

Pride: Okay.

Crimson spreads his wings and flies up the mountain while Pride travels through the shadows.

Crimson: Hello! Is the Chaos Karma Dragon Tiamat home?

A giant pale blue western dragon crawls out of the cave.

Tiamat: Who dares interrupt my slumber! If it's Ddraig, you better have found my treasure.......Who the hell are you two?

Crimson: Well, you see, I'm a descendant of Satan, the first being created by god, and my short friend is Pride, the physical embodiment of the sin.

Pride: Who the hell are you calling short.

Tiamat: If your going to ask me to become a Sacred Gear, I'll burn you into oblivion.

Crimson: Don't worry, we're not here for that. In fact, we're asking you to join the Khaos Brigade. It's led by the Infinite Dragon God Ophis, and I have a great idea of where Ddraig's wielder is. So if you join us, it'll probably get you back the treasure he borrowed.

Tiamat:......I can't tell if you're punking me or if you're serious.

Crimson: I'm serious. The only thing is, Ddraig is still dormant. I haven't sensed him awaken yet, once he has awakened, I'll tell you. Deal?

Tiamat: Deal. But if I find out that you're playing me, you're as good as dead. Are we clear?

Pride: Crystal.

Elsewhere

A female Nephilim with purple hair sneezes

Crystal: Alright who the fuck is talking about me.

Back with the protagonists

Tiamat: Good. I will join this Khaos Brigade and Ophis. I hope that we will meet again soon, Nephilim.

Crimson: Indeed Tiamat. Goodbye for now.

Crimson and Pride leave via teleportation circle

Back in the underground base

Crimson:*over the phone* Everyone, I got a bit more info for all of us to go over.

Envy: Same, I got more info.

Six teleportation circles open and the six sins that weren't with Crimson appear in the room.

Crimson: Envy, you go first.

Envy: Gladly. It looks that the pervert Issei Hyoudou has a Sacred Gear. And that he's gonna die on Sunday. Raynare's gonna be the one to slaughter the little pig.

Lust: Honestly, I think she'd be doing the world a favor by killing a perverted monkey like him.

Crimson: We get it, none of us like perverts. But I got some great news! Pride and Myself got Tiamat to join our side. All I had to do was promise that I'd bring her the current Red Dragon Emperor.

Greed: That's great! I won't be the only one with draconic blood in my veins around here.

Sloth: So, Lust is the only Succubus, and Crimson is the only Nephilim.

Greed: Once Ophis goes back to the dimensional gap, I'm gonna own the world!

Wrath: Of course that's your goal you greedy simpleton.

Greed: Say whatever you want, you old geezer. You're still just human, so you won't last long enough to see me become emperor.

Wrath: Well, this human is about to kick your ass into next week if you don't watch your tounge.

Greed:*covers self in Ultimate Shield* Just try me you old coot!

Crimson: BOTH OF YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP! FOR FUCKS SAKE, JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP AND LISTEN!

They both fall silent

Sloth: As I was gonna say, we wait until Issei is dead, and then we possibly recruit the Fallen Angels in Kouh.

Pride: So, we kill two birds with one stone. But what about Kokabeil? He's obviously the one behind these attacks.

Greed: We wait for him to appear, and kill him for being an ugly prick!

Crimson: I like the sound of that. Now, LET'S DO THIS!

Everyone deadpans at him

Crimson: What?

Wrath: You do realize that you'll have to wait for the weekend before you can do anything, right?

Crimson: *pouts* Aw, but I wanted to fight somebody.

Greed: I'll fight you, bring it on!

Sloth: The last tome you fought one of us, you nearly brought down the base on top of us.

Greed: I was the last one of us to fight you, and I'm itching for a rematch!

Lust: Well, that's not gonna happen. Because if you do, you'll find yourself dead by morning.

Crimson: Hey! No, bad Lust. I don't want to go looking for the next embodiment of Greed. And this Greed is cool!

Greed: Thanks man!

Envy: Are you three idiots done arguing, because I want to go out and crush some skulls, maybe start a civil war somewhere.

Crimson: Envy, sometimes you worry me. Just go be an asshole somewhere and don't come back until you've fufilled you're murderous desires.

Wrath: Little insane brat.

Envy transforms into Wrath

Envy: LiTtLe InSaNe BrAt

Wrath slashes off Envy's arm

Envy: Fuckin prick can't take a joke!

Envy teleports away

Crimson: What did I do to get to this point in life?

Sloth: Do you want the list in A-Z order, or in chronological order?

Crimson: Screw it, I'm going to check on my favorite non catholic church.

Crimson teleports to the video above.

Crimson:*thinking* What the fuck did I teleport in on? Screw it, this is probably the best time I've had in a church since I threw an orgy in that one abandoned one. That was a fucking amazing time.