3 days after 'Lech'

Crimson is hanging from the ceiling while Towa, Percy and the sins except for gluttony (don't expect to see him much in this story) are sitting on a couch

Crimson: So, how long before someone does something stupid?

Envy: Riser's probably gonna be going to the Academy to claim the Gremory bitch as his wife.

Greed: Should we greet him? In disguise of course.

Towa: Can you please tell me about who Riser Phenex is?

Lust: He's a perverted playboy asshole that has an entire peerage filled with fetishes. Nekos, lolis, cosplay, you name it, he probably has it. He cares for nobodies emotions and is only trumped in pervertedness by the current Red Dragon Emperor. But not by much.

Crimson: Towa, what are you planning?

Towa: How badly do you want Rias to have her life screwed over?

Crimson: Pretty badly, why?

Towa: I may have a way to make that happen.

Pride: I'm not gonna ask how, I'll just embrace that fact.

Sloth: Sir, I thought we were going to recruit the Fallen Angels to the Khaos Brigade.

Crimson: They weren't strong, at all. So I turned them over to Azaezal with a letter explaining the situation.

Crimson suddenly is transported to his mind scape, surrounded by mist

Crimson: Hello?.....Is this Kevin Spacey's basement? If it is, I'm a bit old for his tastes.

??????: Agh, nein! Out of all ze possibilities, Vhy did it have to be this pne?

Crimson peers out into the fog and spots a figure walking towards him

Crimson: IT'S A TRAP!

?????: Oh, come on, do I really look like a fraulien?

Crimson: Yes.

The figure steps out of the fog

Crimson: So, I have a Nazi Neko Vampire Trap as the spirit in my sacred gear? Honestly, I'm wondering how I'm not suprised. Well, at least tell me the name of who I'm stuck with for the rest of my life.

??????: Very vell, my name is Schrodinger.

Crimson: Like the theory? Of Schrodinger's cat? I'm guessing that you had some power that combined an infinite amount of possibilities into one body.

Schrodinger: Vhat!? How could you possibly know zat?

Crimson: I've tested out the Sacred Gear before, I know what it does.

Schrodinger shrugs his shoulders

Schrodinger: Vell, I guess zat zis is better zan having my soul destroyed by ze Hellsing family pet.

Crimson: Is there anything special you wanted to talk to me about?

Schrodinger: Yes, ze Red Dragon Emperor's host is tainted by his own perversion and it has only been amplified by his becoming a devil. It would be better to kill ze little pig und send ze dragon to anozer host.

Crimson: You do know who your talking to, correct? I could kill him from miles away and get away with it too.

Schrodinger: Zat is true. I did see you at ze battle of London.

Crimson: So you were there.

Schrodinger: Ja!

Crimson wakes up, being pulled from the mindscape

Crimson: I DIDN'T FUCK THAT BEAR! Oh. Towa, was there a reason for that?

Towa: I'm going to ignore the first part, and Riser has arrived in Kouh. You've been asleep for a few days.

Crimson: No wonder I feel more rested than usual. Let's go. Do you have a disguise? Also, I'm going to call my other pieces. Just to fuck with all of them.

Towa: You really like causing people to fear for their lives, don't you?

Crimson: What kind of emotional sadist would I be if I didnt?

Towa sighs and shakes her head

Towa: Sloth was right about you.

Crimson: Shut up and let's go.

Crimson grabs onto Towa's shoulder and she teleports them just outside of the ORC room. He opens two teleportation circles. Percy and Anderson step through them.

Anderson: What the bloody hell did you call me here for? I was at the orphanage, teaching the children the path of God.

Percy: Hey Crimson, what're  we here for?

Crimson: Well, we're here to scare a few devils, maybe embarrass them.

Crimson whirls around and kicks the door open, it flies off its hinges and smacks Issei in the face, sending him flying into a wall

Crimson: I came here to chew bubble gum and kick ass. And I'm all out of gum.

King KFC: Riser demands to know who has interrupted this meeting!

Crimson: Oh you know. Just The Hero of Olympus, the Judas Priest, and a high school mythology teacher.

All the Devils freeze up at the mention of Percy and Anderson. Towa walks in, disguised as an European woman with blond hair. Riser starts staring at her with immense lust in his eyes while Issei stares at her tits, mesmerized, still in the wall

Crimson: If you two don't stop staring at her right now, I'll be forced to shove your heads up each other's asses.

Akeno: Ara, ara sensei, are you perhaps in a relationship with this beautiful young lady?

Towa: He wishes. Though I would rather him than the potential rapists.

Riser: HOW DARE YOU, YOU LOWLY BITCH!

Issei: Hey!

Crimson: I'm pretty sure that my friends here could kick all of your collective asses, no problem.

All the Devils glare at Crimson while he smirks

Riser: Riser would like to see you try to beat my peerage!

A large magic circle with the Phenex family Crest appears in the room. 13 women and two......children? I don't know. 15 females step through. Most of them dressed in fetish outfits

Crimson:*mockingly* Lord Riser! How dare you have your sister in your harem! Have you no shame?

Ravel Phenex glares at Crimson and blushes

Riser: You filthy Plebian! How dare you accuse Riser of having a sibling be a sexual partner!

Crimson:*ignoring Riser* Although, I'm pretty sure that if you were drunk, you would try to fuck her. You are a complete fuckboy if you didn't know. And Gremory, are you really that much of a lazy bitch that you can't even stand up to him? That would explain all the Fallen Angel and Stray Devil attacks that were happening. Or did you let those happen so you could gain pieces to help you beat Dickless the Clown sitting with his troop of fetish fighters?

Rias and Riser sputter, not able to come up with an explanation for the accusations thrown at them

Grayfia: I will have to inform Lord Sirzechs of this information.

Percy: Don't bother, give the info to someone who isn't a sis-con.

Anderson: If I were given my way, all you filthy Devils would be dead where you stand.

Towa:*mockingly* Anderson, calm down. After all, we wouldn't want to anger the 'Great Phenex' and the 'Princess of Destruction'. *serious* Grayfia Lucifuge, on the other hand, you would actually be a bad idea to attack.

Crimson: Why are you married to Sirzechs? I'm pretty sure he loves Rias more romantically that he does you. There are probably other people out there who would love you for who you are. I think He only married you because of your relation to the original Lucifer.(there will be no Millicas in this fic)

Grayfia fell silent in thought as the seed of doubt was planted. Rias blushes and glares at Crimson while he smirks at her reaction

Crimson: I think that my work here is done.

He turns to walk away, but instinctively dodges, he arches his back to dodge a blast of lightning from Akeno while Rias's entire peerage is ready to try to kill Crimson.

Crimson: Farewell for now, but I think that I've had my fun.

Crimson and his group leave the room, and Towa teleports them out