===== Chapter 20   [ Part 1 ] =====

October 3, 2019

Thursday.

Crickets chirping heard from outside your window; you have your eyes staring up at the ceiling for a while now since you woke up to darkness earlier. You would blink every now and then, but your gaze never dares to leave the plain space.

At such a sight, you may seem like you're fighting against the urge to sleep; but despite how it looks like, it's the other way around.

You never really wanted to be in such a position where you wasted your rest just to stare into nothing— not especially when it's around three in the morning. But how can you sleep when your body itself has been refusing to submit to your personal wish?

So for this issue, you decide to take it in your hands by trying to make yourself sleep by coaxing yourself into doing some nonsensical boring action.

But just like the other days, it doesn't work.

No matter how you strategically positioned your body by lying flat on your back and blankly staring up at the ceiling, your request for your brain to shut down temporarily is left unaswered.

Instead, thoughts begin to invade in those waking hours.

It's not like you're not accustomed to it as it has been like this for weeks now.

Since Ashes broke into your room that night, your body clock appeared to have been disrupted. The promise that he swore kept you up for days, yet the anxiety eventually fades with time drifting by. Even so, you would still occasionally have these sleepless nights despite a month not encountering the culprit.

You might have not seen the red haired man for awhile now but due to these sleepless nights, you still happen to think of him every now and then.

Stupid thoughts just won't let this opportunity pass as they slowly crawls up your mind and present themself, making you reluctantly linger on his memory if whether he will come and keep his promise.

As a result, every time the sun rises in those days, you look a hundred times more terrible than your usual terrible morning appearance.

The bags beneath your eyes seem to get darker; and though you rarely put on some cosmetics on your face, you started to put on concealer to hide those bags.

Seriously though... you might even closely resemble a panda now.

Well, pandas are cute, but you...

Meh.

After checking yourself for the final time in the mirror, you go downstairs to take your breakfast with your dad. Your dad's already eating his pancakes by the time you enter the dining room.

"Morning," you say, yawning.

"Good morning, (Y/N)," he happily greets you back.

A big smile is written across his face. You take your seat, sighing and envious of his cheerful disposition. Must have a good sleep last night, huh? Unluckily for you, you weren't able to have one like him. After not being to coax yourself to sleep, you eventually decided to study for the next three hours.

Well, at least, you were able to spend your time wisely. Though... if this continues to persist in the future, then you might have to go and ask the school's nurse Olivia for some sleeping pills.

Taking the seat that is right across your father, you see that your pancakes are already placed in your plate. You heave a sigh and just look at it.

"(Y/N)?" your father asks.

You blink your eyes, snapping out of the daze that you were unconsciously momentarily in.

"Huh, oh yeah..."

You grab the fork and knife as you begin to slice on it. "Sorry," you apologize as you lazily bite on your tiny chunk of pancake, not really in the mood to eat it. Your dad eyes you for a second in concern before averting his attention once again to his plate.