2018, The Accident

The clear liquid burns my chest as I take my last shot of the night. I told myself that I would nurse water all night. I didn't want to be irresponsible in driving them home, but life gave me trouble. And what good is troubles if you can't wash them away?

"Shit, she's wasted," a familiar voice sounds from behind me.

I turn and see Diana and Ezra standing there with disgusted looks on their faces. I snort, waving my hand to dismiss them. "I'm so not wasted. Thank you very much."

I turn around and feel the keys to my car in my jeans. I worked my ass off to get this SUV when I turned sixteen. My mom always got shit handed to her. She's pretty, and I watched man after man dump their gifts and adoration on her. Only for them to leave a couple months later when they realize she's batshit crazy and a total slut.

Is it a mom car? Absolutely. Have I been able to carpool all my friends to places because of it? Also, yes.

"Maggie, you can't drive like this."

"I can do whatever the fuck I want," I say turning around. Anger rises in my chest. Who the hell do they think they are telling me what I can and can't do? "And I'll be damned if after how you guys treated me tonight if I get bossed around by you. Your broke asses are lucky that you're even getting a ride home."

I pull the keys out of my jeans and begin to walk toward the front door of the house. I turn right as I get into the frame. "I'm turning on the car and leaving in ten minutes. If Briar and Declan aren't in the car by then I'm leaving without them."

"Do you know where Joel is?" asks Diana.

Oh, right, him.

"I'll send him a text," I say.

I know he'll check the phone. He always checks the phone when it's from me. It's like a Maggie sense sounds in his body, and he knows that I'm in need.

I open up the text thread filled with memes and funny videos both of us found. An ache in my heart fills as I think about how I treated him tonight, but I quickly squash it away. "It's for his own good," I mutter to myself as my fingers dance across the screen.

Joely, we're leaving in 10 minutes. Meet me at the car or I'm driving off without you.

I press send and wait for the read receipt to come on. He normally opens my messages the second that I send them, but tonight, he's ignoring me and acting like he doesn't know. I bite my lower lip. If he wants a challenge I can give him one.

I go to the gallery of photos that I have on my phone and pick my prettiest nude that I sent to some frat guy last year. Joel has never seen this one. It's always been my way of apologizing, and it normally works. He gets something to add to his bank, we have some make-up sex, and things go back to normal.

It's the way of our relationship.

I send the picture, and this time the message opens instantly. I grin. I knew he would open it when he saw there was an attachment. The three tiny bubbles come up as if he's replying, and then disappear. They do it several more times before he finally sends his reply.

Damn, you're fucking gorgeous.

I'm so in.

Wanna come over tonight and I can show you in person? ;)

The wink might be a little much, but I'm more than a little drunk.

A few seconds later I see Joel's tall frame come into view. He looks upset still, but the anger I saw on his face earlier in the backyard isn't there anymore. You can say what you want about me, but I know how to use my assets.

"I'm sorry, Joely," I say running my hand along his jawline. He leans into my touch and closes his eyes. Poor guy, he must know that I'm not the girl for him. I mean he just watched me get fucked in the backyard by a random stranger. He definitely didn't forget about that.

"You really hurt me tonight, Mags," he tells me. His eyes look hurt, and for a second, I almost want to just cut him loose. He deserves better than someone like me in his life. Someone like Diana or Briar would suit him nicely. They're good girls, they're smart and good at almost everything they do.

The only thing that I have on either of them is my looks, but Joel is more advanced than to just like me for my visual aesthetic.

"I know, Joely," I whisper.

I wrap my arms around his neck and pull him into a tight hug. He wraps his arms around my waist and pulls me closer to him, just the way I like him to. When we pull apart I stand on my tiptoes and give him a quick peck on the lips.

"They have five minutes before I leave," I say.

"You're good to drive?" Joel asks. "I can take over if you need. I've only had a few beers."

"I'm more than capable of driving my car right now, Joel," I retort. I roll my eyes and get into the driver's seat and flick on the car. The engine roars to life, and Joel gets into the passenger seat next to me.

"I haven't seen you with Briar or anyone tonight," Joel says. "Everything okay, Mags?"

"I don't want to talk about that bitch," says Maggie. "I don't want to talk about her. I don't want to talk about Declan. I just want to go home and cuddle you if that's okay?"

This is why Joel never gets the picture that we're not going to work. He's my safety net. My comfort for when life gets to be too much. He makes me feel safe, but safety isn't something that I want.

Briar, Declan, Diana, and Ezra climb into the car at the last minute. Briar dramatically huffs her way into the very back of the car and hugs the back window as if it's her man. She practically drags Diana to the spot next to her in the very back, and Declan and Ezra sit in the middle seats.

"Glad everyone is here now," I say as the door closes and I throw the car into drive. I pull out of the driveway of the house and begin the trek down the mountain roads. They're large enough for one car to go down the road. Trees line the paved road, and in order to go up the mountain, you go up one way, and then to go down you go to the opposite side on the winding roads. Going down is always more scary than going up. Especially when it's nighttime. "We'll be home-"

"Shut up," Briar says from the back. "The only reason I'm in this shitty ass car is because I have no other way home. We are not okay. We are not normal. This is the last car ride I will ever have with you. This is the last time that I will ever speak with you. You, Maggie Wheeler, are officially dead to me."

"What the hell is going on?" asks Joel

"Excuse the fuck out of me?" I ask her from the front seat ignoring Joel's question. "I can pull over and you can get your preppy ass out of my car."

"Hey, let's chill," Declan says quietly.

"Maggie, you're going very fast," calls Diana. "Please slow down!"

"I'm sure you'd love having Declan all to yourself in the car, wouldn't you, Mags?" she teases. "What? Once wasn't enough? The thought of fucking him a second time getting you all hot and bothered?!"

"What the fuck?" Ezra asks. "Declan you had sex with Maggie?"

My blood is boiling. How dare she sit there and speak to me like that in my car? She should get the fuck out of my car. The little bitch is all high and mighty, but let's see how she handles being placed out in the cold.

I jerk the wheel over to the side, and everyone in the car screams. I try and pull over to the shoulder of the road, but I round the curve in the road too fast, and the front of my car slams into a tree. The sound of shattering glass surrounds me and smoke begins to billow from the hood of my car. My front two tires are hanging off the road, and the car is delicately balanced on a tree trunk that grows outward and hangs over the mountain.

"Nobody. Move." Joel calls from the front seat.

It's quiet enough in the car that you can hear a pin drop. It's funny how all of the drama just fades away the second your life is dangling off the side of a mountainside road. My heart is beating manically fast. It's a long way to the bottom.

"What do we do?" asks Briar from the back. Her voice is doing that annoying whiney thing she does when she's scared. "Do we get out?"

"We don't want to risk upsetting the balance of the car," Joel answers. "We're going to have to call for help."

One by one we pull our phones out as carefully as we can and check.

"I have no bars," Diana says. Fear laced into her voice.

"Mine's dead," says Ezra.

"Same," Declan says.

Joel looks at his and then looks at me. He shows me the plain black screen and I know his phone is dead. Mine has no bars. "Briar?" I ask from the front seat. "Please tell me that you have some signal."

"My phone has no bars," she answers.

The tree under the car makes a cracking noise, and everyone in the car screams. Tears well in my eyes, and I close them as tight as I can. If I'm going to die, I do not want to see it coming.

Hey God, it's Maggie. Please don't let me die like this. That would really suck. Thank you.

"I'm going to get out," says Briar. "If Maggie opens up the trunk with the automatic opener, I can carefully crawl out and maybe get some bars on the road."

"Not a bad idea," says Joel next to me.

"She's going to leave!" I yell. "I'm not opening the door. She's going to leave me to die! She hates me!"

Joel reaches over and taps the button on his door, giving in to Briar's request. I look over at him shocked as the door to the trunk of my SUV flies open. Briar acts quickly, knowing that if she didn't, I'd probably close the door. She climbs out of the back of the SUV and collapses on the ground. The car sways side to side as the new weight distribution in the car settles. She quickly gets up and holds her phone as high as her short body can reach.

"I'm not getting anything," she calls.

The car is quiet, and before I can process what's happening Diana throws herself out of the back and onto the ground. The vehicle shifts again, and this time, the rear doesn't settle back onto the ground. The front tire on the driver's side latches onto the tree trunk, and the car is balancing on only three wheels. We are hanging by a thread.

"Diana what the fuck?!" Declan screams.

"I'm not dying because Maggie was drunk and mad while driving!" she calls back. "None of you should either."

Ezra and Declan share a glance in the middle row of seats and I watch in horror as both slowly climb out of the car as carefully as possible. When both are on the ground they turn and look at Joel and I. Declan looks disgusted, and Ezra looks apologetic.

"What do we do?" I ask Joel.

I'm a fucking idiot. I shouldn't have tried to pull over and show Briar whose in charge. I'm hanging off the side of the mountain because of pride when I'm the one that fucked up and hurt her in the first place.

The car begins to sway and my heart skips a beat. This is real. This is not a dream that I'm going to wake up from cradled in Joel's arms.

The best summer ever is slowly becoming the shittiest one in existence.

"You climb out and go," Joel says somberly.

"Joel, the car will fall!" I say. "I can't leave you in here to die."

"I'm not asking you, Maggie," he says. His voice goes deeper and more stern than I've ever heard it before. He reaches over carefully and unbuckles my seatbelt, but I stay still in the seat.

"I'm not leaving you," I tell him. I at least owe him that.

"Guys, the back doors are barely off the side of the mountain," Ezra calls out. "If you can both get to the door behind Maggie you should be able to get out of the car!"

Joel looks at me and takes a deep breath. "We're going to go together. Or I'm not going at all, Maggie," he says softly.

"Joel," I whisper.

He reaches over and places a hand on my face. "This isn't how it ends, okay? We're going to get out of this and we'll be okay." The car jerks and the trunk of the tree begins to give way with cracks again. "Now or never though."

"You go first so I can see where to step," I tell him.

He nods and unbuckles his seatbelt. He slowly lifts his knees to his chest and turns in the seat to where the front of his body faces the back. Slowly, he takes one leg and drapes it over the middle console. The car shifts to my side as he steps into the very middle of the second row of seats. We both stay perfectly still, and my heart starts hammering.

"Alright, Maggie," Joel says calmly. "Do what I just did."

I copy the movement he did with his knees and turn to face the back of my car. Joel moves closer to the back door and gets ready to throw it open as I step into the exact same spot that he was standing in just moments before. Joel opens the door, and I take a deep breath. We're really going to make it out of this. He moves slowly to the edge, and I see his face turn pale.

"It's a bigger jump than I was picturing," Joel whispers.

"Can we try to hold the car still?" Declan asks from the road.

"Don't touch it," Joel says quickly. He turns to me. "Maggie, I'm going to jump, and then I want you to jump right after me. Don't wait. Don't hesitate. Just move."

"Okay," I say. Adrenaline pumps through my body as he throws open the door and jumps out to the side. I move to follow him, but the car tips, and I feel my back hit the door behind the passenger seat.

Time starts to move in slow motion. The car falls, and my body falls against the ceiling of the car. The pressure from the drop has me pinned to the ceiling, and I'm unable to move a muscle. Then the car slams into the side of the mountain, glass shatters, and the metal in the exterior of the car crunches against the rocky walls. My body smacks into the seats, the floor, and the ceiling. I squish my eyelids together in the hope that death is quick. I fall in the small crevice between the two front seats, and the front of my body slams into the windshield.

God, I really thought we had an understanding.

The car lands with a thud, and for a second I'm left thinking that I'm dead. My breathing is labored, and it's hard to keep my eyes open as I try and take in my surroundings. My vision starts to fade into darkness when I notice the car has a small flame that starts where the engine is. I will my body to get up, to move, but I can't bring myself to do anything as the fire spreads outward.

I close my eyes and my body starts to relax.

Maybe this won't be so bad. Maybe, I deserve this for what I did to Briar. I feel my consciousness begin to drift. It's very warm in the car all of a sudden. Just a second and it'll all be over.

I feel my neck slump to the side when a loud voice wakes me up. "MAGGIE!" cries the female voice over and over. "MAGGIE CAN YOU HEAR ME!?"

I open my eyes and my heart stops as I see the state of my car. Glass shards are everywhere and fire is beginning to spread its way across the car. I take a deep breath and push my body up. My arm aches, and I look down at it to see the bone poking out of the side.

You're Maggie fucking Wheeler. You will not go out like this.

I grit through the pain and crawl on my stomach toward the window behind the passenger seat. The fire is spreading quickly, and I know if I don't get out soon the engine is going to explode. Pulling my body forward with my one good hand, I scream in agony as I inch towards safety.

You're Maggie fucking Wheeler. You will not die today.

I make it to the window and pull myself out. I smile, exhaustion setting in as I collapse on the forest floor. I let out a victorious roar and resisted the urge to lift my arms in triumph.

I slowly sit up next to the car, but right when I try and stand, the car explodes. My body is thrown back, and a hot piece of metal lands directly onto my face. My hair catches fire, and the sizzle of the metal as it hits my face is all I can hear as I reach up with my good hand and try to throw it off of me. I feel the skin on my face stretch and I violently thrash my body around to put the fire in my hair out.

The burning in my head is unbearable as I close my eyes and drift into darkness.

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Pain.

That's the only thing that I feel when I open my eyes. Well, one of my eyes, the one on the left side of my face can't open. A moment of confusion passes over me, but that's when the pain becomes so unbearable that I almost pass out again.

I look around me and see my car a few yards away completely scorched. Pieces of the car are scattered everywhere around me, and I vividly remember everything that happened. The mountain, the fall, the explosion.

MY FACE!

I reach up and touch the left side of my face and cry out in pain. Tears well up in my eyes, and I feel my consciousness drift, only for the pain to quickly make me alert again. I hear the flap of wings, and a vulture flies above me in the sky. It's circling me. Waiting for me to pass on so that it can get a meal.

"Fuck you!" I scream at it. "Fuck you! Fuck you! Fuck you!"

It's not fair. None of this is fair. My body feels like it's on fire, and my arm is busted. Why couldn't I have just died from the fall?! That would have been more merciful.

I begin to cry, the tears that stream down my face irritate the burn marks on me, but the pain only makes me cry harder. I'm going to die in a forest. How long have I even been down here?!

I slowly sit up, even with my body protesting, and begin to walk in a given direction. Well, walk isn't the right word. I limp in a given direction. Pain consumes my body. There's a lot more fucked up than just my arm and face. I limp around for what feels like years before coming up to a road and falling onto it. I pull my body forward until a car stops right next to me.

"Oh my god!" screams a woman as she runs over to me. "Sweetie can you hear me?! Are you okay?!"

I open my eyes and see a nice elderly woman staring at me. I wince in pain as she touches my shoulder to see if I'll wake up. "Help. Me." is all I can manage to say before I drift off to sleep again.

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I wake up to the sounds of beeping. My body is still in pain, but it isn't as strong as it was when I woke up in the woods. There's a wire attached to my arm, and I slowly realize I'm in a hospital. I lift my hand and see it doctored and wrapped in a cast. I lift my good hand to my face and feel that's also bandaged.

The woman who found me on the side of the road is asleep in the chair next to me. I grit my teeth and stand up from the bed. My ankle is also wrapped just like my arm. I use the metal pole holding my fluids as a walking stick as I make my way over to the bathroom. The mirror stares tauntingly at me as I look at my bandaged face. With a trembling hand, I reach up and touch the back of my head where the bandage is secured and unclasp it. I begin to unwrap it, and slowly start to feel panic as the air hits my burns.

My heart stops when I look in the mirror. Raw red skin covers my face. The skin between my cheek and eyelid is completely gone. Half of my scalp is covered in open wounds and burn blisters from where my hair caught on fire.

I scream louder than I ever have before.

The woman who found me rushes into the bathroom. She screams for a nurse and soon I'm being escorted back to my bed. I'm screaming still. Tears are falling down my face. I'm a monster. I'm hideous.

"I'm sorry sweetie," someone whispers behind me and my vision begins to drift again.

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The next time I wake up, the woman who found me was still sitting there. She is scrolling on her phone, and when I clear my throat she practically jumps out of her skin. She looks at me with sympathetic eyes that leave me feeling sad.

I'm a monster. I'm hideous. She sees me as someone to pity. I'm Maggie fucking Wheeler. I don't get pitied.

She reaches over to my bedside table and pushes a button on a remote. "Sweetie, don't freak out this time okay?" she asks me. "My name is Florence. I'm the one who found you."

"You should have left me to die."

The pain medicine the doctors have me on must have be pretty damn good because I barely feel any of the pain from my burns.

"Don't say that," Florence says. "You are a fighter," she looks at me and grabs my good hand. "What is your name?"

I open my mouth to tell her Maggie, but my heart stops. I'm not that girl anymore. Maggie Wheeler was bright, beautiful, and popular. The girl that I saw in the mirror the last time I woke up is anything but that. A tear escapes my unbandaged eye, and Florence wipes it away quickly. "Did you run away for a reason?"

I have no desire to go home. I don't want to see the look on my mother's face when she sees me. I don't want to go face Briar. I'm sure she'd be smug as hell seeing me look like this now. All of them got out of the car and left me there.

I'm not dying because Maggie was drunk and mad while driving.

Diana's words play in my head. She blamed me. She didn't care that I was still in the car. She just wanted to save herself. In the end, they all did. Even Joel.

They didn't care about me. They didn't want me anymore.

"Yes," I say quickly deciding to spin a lie. "I'm running from my abusive household. Please don't let them send me back."

She squeezes my hand. Her eyes immediately fill with more sympathy than before. "What is your name?"

"Melissa Reeves," I tell her. "My husband is a mean man. Please. If he finds me he'll kill me. I would be no use to him looking like this."

Florence's face quickly contorts to fury. "Melissa," she says softly. "I promise you that you won't ever have to worry about him again. You're going to stay with me. You've been through enough. You just need a chance to get back on your feet.