I never thought I'd be this young going to another friend's funeral. Yet, here I am. Standing in the West Baptist Church of Saints' bathroom in an all-black dress and stockings. A chill shudders through me as I flashback to Maggie and her funeral. I was still so mad at her. I felt so betrayed. I think those feelings numbed the ones I was supposed to feel until well after the funeral was over.

Now nothing is stopping the influx of feelings pouring out of me as I think about Joel lying in that urn at the front of the room. Joel was kind and sweet. He was good-hearted and cared about his friends.

Joel, the man who didn't deserve the ending he got.

Joel who deserves my undivided attention today for the years of friendship he gave me, but instead, I can't stop thinking about Maggie.

"Why are you drinking?!" Declan asked her while we were at the party that night. I had noticed them disappear into a side room away from the noise. They were always with me. Seeing them sneak off together didn't alarm me. They were the two people I trusted more than anything.

"Relax, Declan. I took care of the problem we had," was all she said.

"You had an abortion?!"

"You did what?" I asked shocked.

"Babe? Are you ready to go?" I snap back into reality and take a deep breath. I clutch my chest and realize I haven't remembered to breathe. I clear my throat and quickly make sure my hair is in place before calling back. "Yes, I'm on my way."

Darren decided to show up today. I haven't talked to him since that night Declan and I slept together. Every time he's shown up at my parent's house to try and speak with me he's met with my father saying, "She's not feeling very well, Darren. Maybe next time."

I know he's tried to look for me throughout the town, but he doesn't know this place like I do. It's easy to get lost in the backroads and the secret caveats that you wouldn't know about if you weren't local.

When he showed up this morning and apologized for everything I was surprised that I felt nothing in for him. He's an asshole, and I know from experience with him that no matter how many times he apologizes he will always do the same shit over and over. 

And as much as I hate Declan, or at least as much as I want to, I don't. I haven't been able to stop thinking about him since the night we spent in our old spot. I don't know if it's nostalgia, or being back in this town that's making me fall back into him, but the feelings I have are real and growing.

He's sent me sweet texts to check in on me and make sure that I'm okay after everything that happened. He hasn't once tried to pressure me to do anything with him or define what we are, and I feel for him stronger and stronger because of it.

I'd say Darren is in big trouble.

My PR team begged me to allow him to escort me to the funeral. They told me that our followers are noticing we aren't posting, and we need to be seen in public to keep up appearances. The truth is I don't know if I'm wanting to do that anymore. But that's a conversation for a day I'm not attending my friend's funeral service.

I walk out of the bathroom and Darren looks stunning in his black suit and slicked hair. He's every romance novel's protagonist when he dresses up like this, and maybe that's why our relationship doesn't work. He's the Prince Charming, but I'm no Cinderella. I've never needed saving, and as much as I love the type of life we were able to create with our influencer status, I know I don't want to spend the rest of my life with an asshole who doesn't take me or my problems seriously. 

The church is pretty. Dark wood lines the outline of each wall and corner of the otherwise white surfaces. The pews are stained a beautiful mahogany color, and the cushy red pillows that sit on them are bright and look new. At the front of the church is an altar with a giant cross painting with bold and beautiful colors splashed around it. A giant stained glass window is above it in the shape of two hands holding the world.

Darren offers me his arm and I take it. We walk side by side down the aisle of the church. "Just think, in a few months, maybe a year, this could be us but on a much happier occasion." He whispers to me.

I resist the urge to jerk my arm back. Of course, Darren would find some way to make a funeral for one of my dearest friends about him. Of course, he wouldn't see the problem in imagining us walking down the aisle of a church in our wedding gown and suit.

"Let's just get through the funeral, please," I whisper.

I see Declan in the second row of the church pews. He locks eyes with me, and a wave of something I can't quite place washes over his face when he sees me on Darren's arm. Is it jealousy? Is it hurt?

Is it both?

I lead Darren to the second row and sit next to Diana. She grips my knee as I sit down, and I gently smile at her. "Ezra and I stayed up all night making the slideshow of our pictures," she says softly to me. "I turned it in when I got here. I hope it works. I checked it several times this morning-" I grab Diana's hand and squeeze. She always hyper-fixates when she's upset and struggling with something. She needs control, and this is how she obtains it.

I feel the holes that Declan's gaze is drilling into me as my hand interlocks with Darren. I make it a point not to look back at him. It would stir too much, and I'm here for Joel.

Ezra's dad walks onto the stage. His face is sullen and sunken in. He looks like he hasn't gotten a wink of sleep. After Ezra told us what happened I wanted to run to his door and fight with him, but Ezra assured me that he could take care of it.

"No parent should have to bury their child. No one should go before their time, after living a fulfilling life. Unfortunately for us, that isn't always the case. Tonya Ewing had her boy taken from this earth. He had a bright future and a world ahead of him that was going to experience the light that Joel had to offer. What happened to him is a travesty. But there's hope," Ezra's dad says grabbing the microphone from the podium. "There's hope because there is someone who loves you more than life itself and he resides in the kingdom of heaven. He is the creator, the savior, the lover of our souls, and right now he's wrapped Joel in his arms and comforted him in this time of injustice."

Joel's mom lets out a whimper from the first row. Ezra sits next to her, and she is sobbing into his shoulder. "Tonya, from the bottom of our hearts, we are so sorry for the loss of your boy. Before we continue with the service, his friends created a slideshow of their time together."

A projector screen lowers from the ceiling above the altar. A countdown starting at the number 3 begins to play and a picture of all of us sitting in front of the hangout wall at Grover High appears on the screen. Pictures begin to pass by of us at Halloween parties, Christmas gift exchanges, and birthdays. My eyes fill with tears that spill down my cheeks, and then the pictures just stop rolling and a black screen appears.

"What the fuck," whispers Diana.

"Why are you looking at me like that, Declan?" plays on the screen. The black screen shows a dark field with Declan's truck sitting in the middle of it.

"Because you're beautiful," he responds to me. "Are you sure you want to do this?" My naked body is on full display in the light of the moon as Declan is shown putting on a condom and thrusting inside of me.

Darren's hand squeezes mine tightly. I can feel his anger bouncing off of him as he squeezes harder and harder.

"What the fuck is this, Briar?"

"Can someone turn this off?!" I ask standing up and looking at Diana shocked. "Why the fuck would you even put something like this in there?!"

"I didn't!" she screamed.

"Ms. Ewing I swear I have no idea what this is," I tell her. Her eyes are wide as she looks between me and the video playing right above her son's urn. Diana is frantic with her head in her hair. She begins to hyperventilate.

"Why is this still going on in my church?!" Screamed Ezra's father. "Get this debauchery off the screen immediately!"

"You're doing amazing, baby. You feel amazing," echoes over the church loudspeakers. Darren's hand is wrapped so hard around my wrist that I wince in pain.

"Sir the projection room is locked!" screams someone from the back. "I don't know how to get it open! I've used my key but it won't turn."

"Break the damn door down, Clyde!" screams Pastor King.

"Yes, pastor!"

"Lay down," the video shows me getting on top of Declan and I sink into the floor of the pew to hide from the embarrassment. My wrist is still firmly wrapped in Darren's hand.

"Let go of her," Declan says as he grabs Darren's hand and forcibly makes him let go. "Do not touch her like that-"

Darren punches Declan in the face. I cover my mouth and scream as members of the church and Ezra are desperately trying to separate them from each other. Tears are falling down my face as Ms. Ewing stares at us in horror. This was supposed to be her son's funeral.

"Fuck baby," Declan says on the video. "Just like that. You're doing fucking perfect."

The video finally ends as both Declan and I climax, and a single piece of notebook paper can be seen on the screen.

I thought you were engaged, Briar?

I cover my mouth. There is no way whoever wants us to suffer would ruin the mourning of a mother just to get back at me. Surely whatever I did to this person can't be this bad? Then again, whatever we did got Joel stabbed in the chest.

This game has gone on too long.

My phone begins to get a million notifications. I pull it out of my purse like it's a stick of dynamite ready to explode. Several news articles have tagged me, and my PR team is going crazy trying to figure out how to spin this angle. Text message after text message is piling into my phone, and my heart starts to beat as I watch them pile up. How the news got out this quick I'll never know.

There's never a pause. It keeps on going. 

"Ms. Ewing, I swear to God I've never seen this video in my life," Diana says. "I have no idea who did this."

I get up off the ground and run down the aisle of the church. All eyes are on me. Phones are raised in the air pointed at me, no doubt they captured the whole video once they realized what was happening.

This scene will be on the internet forever. My friends funeral will be ruined forever because someone wants to hurt me. 

When I exit the building the sun has set, and the stars are just starting to poke out in the sky. I look for my car, frantically clicking the button, and unable to remember where I parked. I decide to just walk when a hand wraps around my wrist.

"Darren, not now," I say as I turn to face him, but it isn't Darren. It's a person with a white baby doll mask staring at me. There are no features that I can tell. They're wearing a dark blue hoodie and black pants. Black leather gloves cover their hands. They seem to be tall, but that doesn't mean much when you're barely 4'11. Everyone is tall to me.

Their head is tucked so deep in the hood that I can't even make out the color of their hair. They hold a knife in the hand that isn't gripping onto me. The masked person raises their weapon and attempts to bring it down on my chest. I have just enough time to process what is happening and step out of the way of a direct impact. The blade knicks my arm and drags down it with a sharp slice.

I scream in pain and desperately attempt to pull away from my masked assailant. They make no sound. They just lift the knife and attempt to stab me again. I yank my arm hard enough that they let go, and I tumble down to the ground and begin to crawl away as fast as I can. I try to stand up, but my heels are too tall, and I wobble.

The assailant comes up behind me and grabs me by the back of my hair. They yank me up to my feet and place the blade against my throat. I hear their deep breaths in my ear, and I know that I'm about to die as I feel the blade begin to dig into my neck.

"BRIAR!" screams a voice loud enough to wake the town. People start to file out of the church at that scream, and the person who had my life dangling in their hands drops the blade and sprints in the direction of the backroads next to the church. Declan is next to me in seconds. He attempts to run after the assailant, but I grab onto his shirt and pull him closer to me for dear life.

"Who was that?!" He screams. "Are you okay?"

"I'm alive," I say.

I pull away and see a bright red stain on Declan's white dress shirt. I place my hand to my neck and shiver as I feel the wet sticky liquid stuck to my hand. Darren appears next to me and attempts to pull me toward him, but I lunge for Declan, and he holds me tightly.

"Darren, leave me alone," I say.

I look down at the wrist he had in his hand. There is a dark purple mark in the shape of a hand wrapped around it. His eyes fill with fury as he sees me holding onto Declan and he begins to laugh a sinister and spiteful laugh.

"What do you mean leave you alone? You're my fiancé!"

"I can't do this anymore," I sob into Declan's chest. "I'm done." 

 "What so you're going to throw away everything we worked for, Briar? You're going to throw it away for this lowlife?! You were nothing without me!" 

"I was just almost murdered you jackass!" I scream at him. "Someone had a knife pressed to my throat. If it wasn't for this 'lowlife' I'd be dead on the ground! Tell me, Darren, do you even care?"

Diana and Ezra run over to me from the front of the church, and Diana is instantly standing between Darren and me. "I think it's time for you to go. She'll call you if she wants to talk."

"You don't talk to me!" Darren says pushing Diana out of the way. "Briar ever since we've come back to this nothing town you've acted like a completely different person! Once we get back to LA everything will go back to normal."

"I'm not going back to LA with you, Darren," I say almost at a whisper. 

"Don't be stupid," Darren says. "Get in the car, Briar." 

"She said no," Declan says angrily. "Back off, dude." 

"And what are you going to do if I don't?!" 

I open my mouth to respond when I hear the clicking of heels on the pavement. I turn and see Ms. Ewing staring at me. Her eyes widen when she sees the slash across my neck. She looks at all of us and shakes her head.

"I understand that you kids had nothing to do with what happened in there," she says softly. "I understand that this situation is delicate and you're struggling with something that none of us understand. However, this is my son's funeral, and this spectacle is taking away from him. I'm going to ask you to leave. Please."

"We need to go to the police station," says Declan. "Ms. Ewing, I'm so sorry for your loss and all that has happened tonight."

"Please just go," she says as she turns away without another look at us. "I want to grieve my son now."

Declan wraps his arm tightly around me and ushers us to his car. Darren is right behind me, and once again lays his hands on my arm. Declan turns and points his finger in his face. "I'm warning you right now. You lay another hand on her now or any other time, and I swear to God I will kill you."

Darren pauses behind me and I look at Declan with pure shock in my eyes. The ferocity in his gaze sends shivers down my spine as he glares at Darren. Darren stands there in defiance for a while. I can tell he's debating if he should challenge Declan's words. Eventually, he just looks at me with disgust and shakes his head. "You're fucking ruined, Briar. I hope he's worth it."

He storms off in the direction of his car, and Declan opens up the truck and lets me in. "We're going to follow behind," Diana calls to us as she and Ezra run to her car.

Declan gets in, his face is pure fury as he puts the truck in reverse and begins to drive out of the church parking lot. I sit quietly. I know that I should be scared. I know that this should be the most traumatic thing I've ever experienced, but as I sit here with Declan I can't help but feel...safe.

The way he wrapped his arms around me to protect me from Darren. The way he ran full force at a masked assailant with a knife. This is a man. A man who has made me feel beautiful, special, and now protected.

He messed up when he was eighteen years old, but we were kids then. Could Declan and I be a thing six years later?

"That was the scariest moment of my life," he says finally. "When I came out of the church and saw you standing in the parking lot with that knife at your throat, I thought," his voice breaks and my hand instantly travels to his arm to comfort him. "I thought I was going to lose you again."

I unbuckle my seatbelt and scoot closer to him. He instinctively pulls me into him, his arm wraps around my body, and hugs me close. "You really want this?" I ask him. "All of the drama and chaos that is about to happen. You really think that you're ready for this, Declan?" He opens up his mouth to speak, but I place a finger over his lips. "Let me finish. I gave you my heart before. I gave you everything, and you treated it like it didn't matter. Are you sure that you're ready to be there when everything gets hard?"

"I'm ready," he says. His voice is confident, another feeling of safety washes over me, and I feel the chains of the past fall off as I stare at this man for what feels like the first time.

"Then you have me," I reply. I lean up and kiss him on the cheek. My stomach is fluttering with nerves at this conversation. Everything about it seems crazy, and I don't know if it's the fact that I was almost murdered, but it's letting me see things clearly for the first time in years.

The first, I don't need Darren to be successful. If he wants to go on a smear campaign, I can do the same. The difference is he might have a video of me cheating, but I have videos of years of verbal abuse and several pictures of the times he's left bruises on me.

The second, the line between loving and hating is a very small thing. Declan hurt me a long time ago, but maybe that's what needed to happen to shape me. Maybe Maggie in a way was right. We both had to break out of this small town cycle and now that we're here my heart still skips a beat when he wraps his arms around me, maybe it's our time.

The last, whoever is out to get us is playing for keeps. This isn't just about secrets. They proved that when they killed Joel. They didn't just leak my sex tape and get it to go viral on the internet. The bastard, whoever they are, had a knife to my throat. We need to find out who this is and fast.

Because next time one of us might not be so lucky.