seven
The two bottles of vodka clinked together as he placed them on the table, casually sitting next to the woman who had been eying his movements. Her focus shifted from the drinks to his, her cheek resting on her knee while she sat like a curled up koala on the ground.
"So how are you dealing..." he leaned his head against his fist after handing out a glass of alcohol to her and taking one for himself. "...with this?" he gestured towards the table that was placed in front of them, a mess of files placed on top of it.
"How am I dealing with this?" She recklessly raised an eyebrow towards him, subsiding a chuckle seconds later. "I'm not sure, Mr. Jeon." She bit her lip, looking down before concentrating back on the drink in her hand. "I think I'm just getting through. I couldn't be sure, although. Is this how it is?" She timidly took a sip of the alcohol, closing her eyes as she felt the liquid fuel her senses and burn down her throat.
He tilted his head, curious eyes not leaving her calm expression and right when the alcohol must've hit her, her nose scrunched. The small smile on his face unquestionably indicated how he wanted a different answer than that. She looked at him again before chuckling, her lips parting as she tried to choose what to say.
"I- I don't want to be ungrateful. I cannot complain about another thing after all that you have done for me. Even after being in a condition that I'm in, I got a roof to live under and to live my life normally. I'd be anything to anyone but ungrateful to you, Jungkook." She narrowed her eyes to nothing in particular, nervously fiddling with her fingers.
Taking a sip of his own drink, he sighed, voice audible and clear when he started to speak. "Telling me how you feel won't make you ungrateful towards me, Youra." He stated, firm eyes never leaving their focus. "It's only natural that you are hurting. But I do not understand the point of burying your emotions. It won't make you any stronger if you think so."
"But isn't that what you do, too?" She asked, restlessly picking her nails. "The way people talk about you, the way I have seen you be. No feelings." She asserted, a weak smile on her face.
Her statement made him tilt his head, and in a long time, he had to compel his mind to ponder before answering somebody. "It's different for me. You see, it changed with time. Situations and decisions change people." He paused, blinking in deep thought. "I just chose not to... feel that much anymore."
She pressed her lips together, looking around before picking up the burnt-out cigarette that had been put carelessly on the ashtray. She held it in her fingers in front of his eyes, shaking her head a little with a frown before throwing it away again. The man snorted a chuckle, turning his head after examining her adorable threatening expression.
The two sat in silence for a moment or two as they quietly enjoyed each other's company. Jungkook did not want to push the matter— he realised that if he does, he might end up disgracing the whole point of this conversation, and he did not want to end the night with disagreements. Song Youra was a sensitive person, he'd realised, even though she might not want to make it apparent. And he would be okay if she decided not to speak tonight about what was eating her from the inside and just stay in comfortable silence until she spoke up herself.
"I feel empty." She let out, exhaling heavily as she slowly let go of the emotions she had bundled up together. "Every day is the same, waking up, not knowing what to say, how to behave, what to do..." Youra's voice started to waver before she took in a deep breath. "Remembering about her death is just... it just reminds me why I need to keep going through this cycle until I reach somewhere. Nothing else. The grief is somewhat confusing to me, because I'm not sure what I'm sad for. For my mother's death... or for not remembering who my mother was?" A small ruthless snicker left her mouth.
"I feel like I don't have anything at all to look forward to." She shrugged a little, hugging her legs a little tighter. "And the hope of just waking up one day and recalling-it-all is fading away."
"Hope." He reiterated. "Ain't it a funny thing? We despise having to 'hope' for things all the time when we know we might never have them... but at the same time we can't seem to let go of it." He worded before leaning towards her.
"Don't lose it, Youra." His voice calm, but assertive at the very same time. "That's the only place I need you to be strong. In your mind. If hope is the only thing that is letting you hold onto this, then be it. I need you to smile when you feel like it, I want you to cry when you feel the pain. But don't ever forget that we've got to do this, okay? You've got to keep trying." His doe eyes looked at her with a certain necessity, his grip on her arm not getting any loose, waiting for a response.
She gave him an assuring nod upon noticing the same, eyes softening when he removed his hand before going back to his former position.
"You're a man of words, Jeon Jungkook." Her lips curled up a little, admiring the way he casually ran a hand through his scalp. "I can see why you have your own impact on people. I can see why they listen to you." She relished with contentment in her tone.
"Thank you. I appreciate that." He gave her a tight-lipped smile, clearing his throat. "It is my job though, I have to be good at it." He grinned and she followed in agreement.
"You seem to be effortless at it, impressively enough. How do you do it?" She wondered out loud.
"Practice and experience, I guess? The passion does most of it, to be honest." He spoke carefully, choosing his terms well. "My work is like a drug to me. It's something I got used to, but at the same time can't live without." He visibly looked appeased as he explained himself.
"I had to learn it too. I had to learn how to make this world mine. Normally, when I get a case, it's a game I've known too well. I know my moves forehand and my pawns are always white."
"But you change things, Youra." He hesitated. "The chess board is right in front of my eyes. But this time... I can't play white. I cannot make my moves if I do not know what I'm playing against." A small frown took its place on his forehead, finger tapping on the bottle he held in his hands.
"I'm giving you a hard time, aren't I?" She flashed a grin at him after stretching her legs. His expression changed rapidly, lips curving upon seeing her relaxed unlike before.
"It's alright, Miss Song." He sang out, sighing a little. "It's me who chose to pour my passion into this, after all. Besides, it's the thrill I enjoy." The lawyer slightly raised the glass in his hand with a smirk on his handsome face.
⌘
"Seriously?" Her melodic laughter filled the empty kitchen as she strode towards the washing sink with the tall man following her from behind.
"I swear!" He chuckled out.
"I'd expected more, to be honest. A person like you would probably just have to make a few calls to get his bills paid on time." She teased and he rolled his eyes.
"Definitely so, but I do not think it would be the best idea at fucking three in the morning," He voiced defensively while helping her out.
"So what, you just sleep in your car after the electricity cuts off in the middle of the night?" She laughed again and he grinned, scratching his arm. "I was younger back then. It didn't seem like a big deal. Although my mother really lectured me the other day." He shook his head at the memory while she put the glasses in the drawers before turning around to face him.
"I get where she's coming from," she smiled sweetly, resting her waist against the countertop. Jungkook gave her a glance and noticed how she was staring at him eagerly, letting him clumsily stumble with the bottles he had to throw in the bin.
"Well, it seems like I've had enough liquor to make me fall dead asleep," She muttered with droopy eyes after he fulfilled his little mission. The two had been discussing everything and nothing for the past many hours that'd faded into thin air unknowingly. The rain which had joined them mid-conversation had slowed down and the clock had struck one, making them realise that in order to wake up tomorrow morning, they needed to stop their conversation for the time being.
"Honestly, I didn't expect this kind of alcohol tolerance from you either. I mean, not bad." He raised his eyebrows playfully and Youra narrowed her eyes, opening her mouth for a quirky comeback but quickly closed it instead before giving a stiff nod.
"Goodnight." She briefly replied after learning over the night that he would win having the last word anyway which made him giggle at her response before closing the lights and walking to his room as well.
"Sweet dreams!" He dragged out the words before closing his door shut with a wide smile on his face.
Her gasps turned louder upon hearing the loud thuds from the staircase and a loud scream left her mouth. There she was, a woman lying unconscious on the ground with blood pooling around her body.
Her mother.
She froze, a cold chill running down her spine as she took in the scene that unfolded in front of her eyes. When she realised the lack of movement from her mother, her feet started to take themselves towards her as fast as they could, but ended up with small pieces of glass piercing through her soft skin and making her fall on her knees.
Tears streamed down her face mercilessly as she reached out to her mother, turning her mother's body around to see blood on her face and her eyes closed shut. Her hands trembled when she tried to wipe her face with the loose ends of the shirt she wore, fingers trying to check the source of her injuries.
"Mom," She whimpered, shaky breaths leaving her form as she shook her unconscious body with quivering pupils.
"Mom." Her voice came out louder, tapping her cheek to wake her up.
"Mom!" She screamed, pulling her mother's body closer to her own, quivering when she gave no response to her cries. "No," She shook her head in denial as her whimpers grew louder, turning into loud weeps and soon she found it hard to breathe when she stared at her mother's inanimate frame.
"NO!"
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