Hey there! I'm doing something that nobody asked for (and if you read this, I encourage you to do the same). Often, I forget how far I've come in writing. I'm always reminded when I read something of my old work, and I physically shiver. Like, actually. So, I decided to rewrite the first chapter of the first book I ever wrote (Volatile). I'm keeping everything, typos and all. For those of you that haven't read it, I'm posting it below. The second part will be my improvements.

~~~~~

First edition:

The very first thing I hear when I awake is the cool sound of pipes blowing in through my window. Crawling out of bed slowly, I wipe the sleep out of my eyes bringing myself closer to the melodic sound. I open the window quietly and peek outside. Off into the distance I spot a red glow coming from the park in the downtown core. A fire. I pick up my phone and turn it on, looking for the time. After my eyes adjust to the bright white light, I realise it's just past 4 AM. It also seems as though I've missed quite a few calls from Alison. When I call, it's not her that answers, but the blaring of a voicemail. I groan, turning around and rummaging through my drawers for something to wear.

Alison had told me about a crazy party that was happening tonight. The McKinley Academy for Boys, is celebrating the end of summer. Which is odd, considering September has come and gone, along with it's warmth. It's not unlike rich boys however, to make any excuse to party, and it's also not unlike Alison to attend a party when she and Johnny are having trouble. She must not be having a good time; it's not like her to call me seven times. It's not like her to call me at all when Johnny is involved.

Quickly pulling on jeans and a hoodie to keep me warm in the cold October air, I tie my hair into a ponytail and slide into my long black combat boots. I decide to pull up my hood before climbing out my window, to keep the harsh wind off my head. I slowly make my way across the window sill, something I've only done a few times before, and have only done successfully once before. It seems as though luck is on my side however, as I make it down in one piece.

The sound of the pipes is so loud that I follow it instead of road signs to get downtown.

After a few minutes of jogging, I round the corner and spot what looks like forty boys, all dancing and shouting in the park. They chant and run around a roaring bonfire, doing a strange dance. Normally, the McKinley boys are blaring loud rap music and grinding on everything in sight, excluding each other. I feel like I've walked into a cult. Taken aback for a few seconds, I just stare at everyone.

A boy with brown hair is seated on a bench, playing a tune on a pan flute. He looks up at me and grins a crooked grin, his eyes digging into me. An aggressive green glare. I quickly turn away from him, peeking back only when I think he isn't looking.

He is an odd boy, it seems. I can't make out much about him, other than his clothes are tatty and dirty.

I turn and look at the boys dancing. None of them are wearing anything that looks new either, except five or six who are dancing in pajamas. The rest wear long dark cloaks with their hoods up. Hiding.

It's then that I realise I'm not at the party Alison asked me to come too. A stupid amount of time to come to a conclusion, and I have no excuse for my idiocy. I turn around to leave but the boy with the pan flute is standing directly behind me. I try to catch my balance but fall to the ground behind me. The boy stops playing his pan flute but the music continues.

"What are you waiting for, boy?" He asks me, cocking his head to the side. "Dance."

The boy gives me the willies. There's something about his demeanor that rakes up and down my spine. He raises an eyebrow at me, a faint smile on his face. I immediately get up off the ground and join the crowd of boys dancing. The cold breeze is unfaltering but the fire is keeping me warm. I look over at the boy. He walks over towards the group of us.

"Alright boys, that's enough now," he says. Every boy in the line immediately stops dancing, turning there attention to the boy.

"I think we've had enough fun for one trip. Let's call it a night and head back!"

Everyone shouts as the boy, who I now believe is their leader, throws what looks like a small green rock on the ground. A swirling light blue pool opens on the ground and I scream, jumping back in surprise. The boy looks into the crowd, searching for the origin of the scream but doesn't say anything. The boy jumps into the blue circle and is swallowed down into the earth.

It is at that point which I can no longer feel any of the bones in my body. My knees begin to shake and I feel extremely light headed. All of a sudden I am pushed along into the blue circle, tumbling down what feels like an abyss.

~~~~~

Second edition

The wind is icy, and it carries the cool sound of pipes. I've never been a light sleeper, but I'm too groggy to realize that I should be surprised. I pull myself out of bed, glancing over at my alarm clock. Everything is blurry until I wipe the sleep out of my eyes. It's 3:00 AM, and I, unfortunately, am awake.

I manage to pull myself up to the window. There is a faint red glow coming from downtown. It seems to pulse in rhythm with my heartbeat. I decide that my body is still waking and that I'm not going crazy.

The light in the park is new. My best friend Alison had mentioned she was going to a secret party in there, though I doubt something this bright has managed to escape detection. Alison had tried to convince me and Johnny to come with her, but we had both refused. Now, I'm glad that I did.

I check my phone. Three missed calls from her. My hands rush over to her contact, and I quickly call her. The phone rings, but instead of her voice, I hear the pipes.

Shit.

I get dressed. It isn't my first time sneaking out, so I know the drill. All black clothing with a hood up. Alison complains that I never look good at parties. My boyish figure isn't flattered by a baggy hoodie, but I've never really cared. I'm not looking for boys. I don't know exactly what I am seeking.

The window frame is cold to the touch. September hits me. I don't have the time to care though. When I pull myself through, my feet dangle in the air. This is always my favourite part. The moment where I'm in the most danger, where my body hangs and my heart shutters. I feel alive.

I land on the shed and quickly slid down on to the ground. With one last look at my window, I head towards downtown. The jog doesn't take as long as I was expecting, and by the time I'm halfway there, I realize I've forgotten my phone. Hopefully finding Alison is easier than I'm expecting it will be.

Instead of a party of drunk teenagers, I'm greeted by a bonfire. Boys run in circles around the fire, dancing to the light music. They all wear capes, and their faces are impossible to see in the dim lighting. No, not all. Some of them wear pyjamas. One of them, I recognize as Johnny.

Another boy isn't running. Instead, he leans against a tree, playing a panflute. The boy takes a few steps closer to me, his eyes gleaming in the low light.

"Don't you want to join in?" he bats his eyelashes at me, taking a step forward. He's got an English accent and a wicked grin. His breath is hot against my face, warmer than the fire. He leans back and laughs.

I swallow, taking a step back from him. My voice is caught in my throat, and I feel like I'm choking on it. Maybe I've just swallowed my own spit. He continues to laugh at me, circling behind me.

"I think we are done here," he whispers in my ear. Then, he brushes past me, turning to address the group. "Let's go."

The boy winks at me as he holds out a pebble. He throws it up in the air and when it collides with the ground it erupts, loud like thunder. A large sparkling green whirlpool explodes across the earth. The ground is sucked out beneath me, and I fall down. My feet land in the whirlpool, but my fists cling to the dirt. I lose feeling in my feet, and then my legs, and then finally the dirt is ripped from the ground and I am flung into the whirlpool.

Only then am I finally able to take a breath.

~~~~~

Anyway, this is still not great, but it's nice to see my progress. Less cringy (lol, cringe culture is dead but I don't know another way to describe myself). I hope that I can come back to this is another four years and see how much better I have become. I tried to put as much effort into this as I did into the first one (I gave myself fifteen minutes, and I didn't proofread) to give myself an accurate gauge of how I've improved. Anyway, you should try it out, and make yourself feel good. Lord knows that we need to now.