We're sat in the cinema watching American Gangster. Miles' choice, not mine, and when he's not scoffing and chuckling darkly under his breath he's watching me, I can see him out of the corner of my eye.

I throw popcorn at him, stuffing my mouth full. "Stop staring, you're gonna give a girl a complex."

"You're far more interestin' to watch than this shit," he says under his breath.

I don't think that's his only reasoning. He's been worried, I think, about my nightmares... about how I'm dealing with Luke's trial hanging over me. I haven't heard anything yet, so for now, I'm putting it right to the back of my mind.

It's that weird few days between Christmas and New Year. We spent Christmas apart; I didn't want Tara to be on her own after she ended things with Joey, and Miles was with his family anyway.

Tara showed me pictures of her daughter- Lola, a dark-haired girl with chubby cheeks and caramel skin; she's just about the cutest kid I've ever seen. She told me she puts most of the money she earns from working at Bliss into savings; she wants to hire a lawyer and get her back, or try to at least, and I gotta admire her for that.

Charlotte joined us later in the evening and we got drunk on Amaretto and watched all the Home Alone movies, one after another.

Dysfunctional and kind of perfect, really.

Miles rang me later on, sounding pissed off; his brother the catalyst. They don't get on at all.

I'm trying to pay attention to Denzel Washington and his fur hat, but Miles' fingers are slowly trailing up and down my inner thigh, finding the hemline of my skirt and sliding up so far, he finds thin lace, pressing on my clit gently.

"Wanna get out of here?" he says as my breathing hitches. "I could watch you touch yourself."

I squirm.

"I wanna watch this movie you paid twenty bucks to see," I tell him, staring at the screen. He slowly circles and I have to hide a breathy moan with a fake cough, shooting daggers at him as he can't contain a snort of laughter.

I sink lower in my seat as mortification sets in. Luckily this movie came out weeks ago so there's not many people around but a few in front turn their heads, glaring.

I throw more popcorn at him.

His fingers still and stay still, and the longer they're there, unmoving, the hotter and wetter I get. He talks dirty in my ear every now and then, and I can't concentrate one bit on this stupid movie.

We're the first ones out the door when it finishes, and he's got me up against a wall as soon as we're outside, kissing the ever-loving sense out of me, before we run in the snow all the way down the street to his car, laughing.

"You wanna come back to my place?" he says as he drives me to Tara's. "It's closer to work for you tomorrow."

He prefers the privacy of his, and so do I if I'm being truthful.

"I promised Tara."

"That's cool."

And I really like that about him. He's nothing like Luke in that respect; making me feel guilty over stuff like that.

I lean over and kiss him, his stubble grazing my lips and I may linger a fraction longer than necessary as I study his profile.

His voice draws my attention and I look out the windscreen as he slows the car.

"What the fuck?"

Tara's outside, almost at the sidewalk, only wearing a cami top and jeans, feet buried in snow, screaming at Charlotte. I'm out of the car before Miles has even rolled to a stop, jeers from the neighbours echoing in the street.

"What the fuck is going on?" I cry running toward them.

Tara turns to me, mascara smeared down her face.

"She's the one!" she shrieks. "She's the one Joey was cheatin' on me with!"

She turns back suddenly and launches herself at Charlotte; slapping, hitting, grabbing fistfuls of hair as I'm momentarily frozen.

Wait. What?

Joey and Charlotte? Joey and Charlotte? I'm grabbing Tara before I can process, only for Miles to gently move me off and haul her away, arm around her waist.

"Calm down!" he's telling her as she claws at his arm and kicks her legs.

"Let me go! Let me fuckin' go! You bitch! You complete and utter two-faced cow!" she screams, red-faced with rage.

I look to Charlotte, brushing snow off herself, ashen and angry.

"That true?"

"She didn't deserve him!" Charlotte snaps. Her face flushes as she points at Tara accusingly.

"You know how much I love him," Tara sobs, still fighting against Miles's firm grip. "You know I do!"

"That why you can't stop spreading your legs?" Charlotte retorts. "If you love him so much, you'd never entertain it. He deserves more than being treated like fuckin' shit!"

I can't get my head around it. She never said anything about having any kind of feelings for Joey at all. Never. Not to me anyway. And then it hits me hard; her not being around as much, not answering her texts, avoidance almost. It almost makes sense. But it doesn't.

"Why would you do that to her? What happened to chicks before dicks?" I throw her own words back in her face.

Charlotte shakes her head, looking Tara up and down. "Need not apply to skanks."

"Char-" I shake my head wordless as Tara lets out another scream of rage. "Look, just... this is crazy. Just, just go home I don't think this is-this is her home."

"That how it's going to be? You're siding with her? After everything?" She's hostile, hand on her hip, eyes narrowed at me.

"It's not like that and you know it."

"All those times I picked you up after Luke-does GQ over there even know about half of the shit he did to you?"

My fists clench. "This isn't about me, Char! I'm not taking sides here. Seriously, how did you think this was going to end?" I look at her incredulously. "Just-please, leave. I love you both but she don't need this right now. I'll call you."

"Fine!"

She stalks to her car, slamming the door too hard, driving off so fast the tires spin and churn snow.

Miles lets Tara go gently, and she's stumbling, shivering and shaking into my arms, crying so hard it's making me well up.

...

I make Tara take some Valium and then I hug her on her bed, a tangle of arms and tears. We don't say anything, at this point I'm not sure what I can say to make this better. Because I really, really can't. I can't even comprehend it myself. What the fuck was Charlotte thinking?

Shit is fucked up.

I always knew she thought Tara treated Joey badly but doing this to her? It's beyond any kind of vindictiveness I thought she was capable of. Out of character, even. And there's no going back from this. Our friendships are fucked.

I come out of her room, closing the door quietly, Miles appearing in the doorway, the low murmur of the TV in the background. He takes my hand in his, leading me to my room.

"You didn't have to stay," I tell him as he closes the door behind us with a soft click.

"I wanted to."

He sits on the edge of my bed, lifting me to straddle him, his mouth already on mine as moonlight pours through the window onto my white bedsheets, making our skin glow.

Crossing my arms I peel my top off, shivering as soon as cold air touches my skin, nipples hardening. He bites at my lip, unfastening my bra, hands coming to cup heavy feeling boobs. A squeeze, a roll of his thumb.

"You're wearing too many clothes," I mumble as I slide off him and kick off my panties. I'm about to take my skirt off too but he tells me to leave it on as he sheds his clothes, tugging me forward so his hot mouth can attack my nipples, a low moan escaping from somewhere. His thumb circles my clit, teasing until I'm shifting in frustration, needing more.

I sink down onto him nice and slow and he's looking at me intently, leaning back on his elbows, his eyes everywhere.

I like it like this.

That might be a lie.

I love it like this.

"So fuckin' hot," he groans, sitting up a little bit, one hand moving to grip my waist as I roll my hips faster, his own pushing upwards as I chase that feeling of bliss.

"Yeah?"

"Fuck, yeah." His voice is rough, his eyes dark, he squeezes the flesh on my hips as I move over him.

"Oh God, you're gonna make me come," I whimper so, so close, until one last grind has me there, nails clawing in his shoulders as I'm crying out.

Miles stands up with me, turning me around, pushing in from behind once my face is buried in the softness of my sheets, hands fisting material. He thrusts hard, my moans muffled, his hands tight on my waist, his movements more and more erratic, a "Fuck, Mia," escaping from his mouth as he releases deep.

I roll back against the bed pressing myself harder into the mattress as he lies down behind me, sensitive to every slight touch as he glides fingers over cold skin.

"Spend New Year's Day with me," he asks, mouth wrapping around my ear, biting lightly.

"I'm working New Year's Eve, not sure how much good I'll be New Years Day," I tell him, blinking up into dark eyes.

It's a blessing and a curse. I'm hoping people will be ridiculously generous with their tips, but it's bound to be a killer with how busy it is. Carter went all out with advertising. It's going to be more like a regular club for the night he says. He's got some famous DJ flying in or something. Not that he's told me this. He's backed off completely recently and I have a feeling Miles had a word with him even when I told him not to.

"My sister-in-law is doing a thing." He pauses. "You could come with me to that if you wanted."

I turn in his arms, fully facing him. "You want me to come to a family thing?"

He shrugs like it isn't a big deal.

But it is a big deal.

To me at least.

"You can distract me from Carl before I end up puttin' him in that hospital he loves so much."

I want to laugh but he's deadly serious.

"Is it at their house? Do I need to find something, like, fancy to wear?" I'm worried about having to find extra money. I don't think I have anything that'd be classy enough, and I don't have that long to find something, either.

"I'll pay if you wanna buy something new," he says. "Don't overthink."

I laugh. "You invited me to a family thing, of course I'm gonna overthink. The last time I saw your brother I was a state, and he accused you of doin' it, remember?"

Miles' expression darkens as he plays with a lock of my hair, twisting the strands around his finger. He's quiet, studying my face.

"I don't wanna fuck this up..." he says, trailing off. "I know we ain't really talked it through but... be my girl. I'll be so fuckin' good to you, I swear."

I bring my hand to his face, tracing his jaw lightly with the tip of my index finger, my heart soaring that he wants more. That he wants to make this real.

I only hesitate because of the betrayal we've just witnessed. His face hides it, but his eyes... there's a flicker of uncertainty there the longer I'm silent.

I smile.

"OK."

His mouth lifts, his expression morphing, mirroring my own happy one.

"Yeah?"

"Yes." I swallow, still thinking of Char and Joey and Tara. "Just... If you're ever gonna stick your dick in someone else, respect me enough to break up with me first."

He blows out a laugh. "I can promise that."

...

Charlotte's already sat in the tiny coffee shop we arranged to meet at, drumming her nails on the table, chewing gum slowly, distracted as she looks at her phone.

"Hey," I say, sliding into the seat across from her, glancing around at the industrial style decor. She looks up, a weak smile on her face and I have to wonder how things got so messed up so quickly. Not just between her and Tara either. I thought things had gone back to normal between us after we made up, after Luke, but I'm second-guessing that now. I'm not sure how I feel about her handing those photos over to the cops either.

"Hey," she looks at me and leans back in her seat, crossing cream cable knit covered arms in front of her, her eyes linger on my neck where I know Miles has left a mark.

"What?" I say self consciously, tucking my hair behind my ear.

"Have you seen yourself recently?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean you're fuckin' glowing, girl. GQ doing something right, that's for sure."

I look down and bite my lip, unable to contain my smile or how my tummy flips when I think about him. It falters and I look up at her, frowning.

"Are you happy?" I counter.

She nods, stiffly, like she doesn't want to admit it. If she's happy, she feels guilty about it.

"Char, we gotta talk about this. I mean, I feel like... like I've been blindsided. You and Joey? For real? I never thought you felt like that about him. You never said anything? And for him to cheat-"

"It didn't go down like you think," Charlotte interrupts. "Like Tara says."

"Well, tell me," I implore.

She sighs and gets up. "Coffee first, OK?"

She returns from paying, slumping down in her seat with defeat, not defiant like the other night.

"First thing. Nothing happened before she broke up with him. Not, like, physically."

"But Tara found texts, on Joey's phone saying he couldn't wait to be, and I quote, 'inside you'."

An older lady at the table next to us looks up disapprovingly and tuts, turning the page of her paper by wetting the tip of her finger.

I lower my voice. "That don't sound like nothing happened!"

We're quiet as the waitress delivers two coffees, waiting for her to leave.

"Look, I'm not goin' to bullshit you. Things just happened. We were hangin' out at Jenna's a couple of months ago, when you were both working... It was fun. Then I dunno, we just started flirting here and there."

She explains it was just a natural progression, but nothing happened until a few weeks ago; after Tara dumped him. "He was gonna do it anyway, he was just waitin' for the right time, what with Christmas and all but she ended it with him first. Things were getting a little heated, that's what Tara saw... I know it doesn't make it any better."

I can't justify this for her. "Flirting with Joey behind her back- planning him breakin' up with her is still-it's like... an emotional betrayal."

I take a sip of too-hot coffee as she's silent, fingers twisting a pack of sugar.

"You didn't tell me none of this either. When did shit like that stop happening? When did we get so distant?"

Charlotte glances up. "I think I knew you'd say what you're sayin'... and you were busy with working and being over at Tara's all the time. I just... I think I love him, Mia. I can't help that."

We're silent for a long while.

"I just want you to be happy, Char, but this is... Tara is devastated. She talkin' about going and visiting her cousin, down south for a while. Things are just... things are never gonna be the same."

She smiles but it's sad and pained.

"I know."

...

Miles rings the doorbell of his brother's brownstone, fairy lights wrapping down the white wooden post, casting us in warm light as we wait.

I'm still knackered after last night. New Year's Eve was like hell on earth at the club. Well, it was until Miles showed up just before midnight.

I bite my lip thinking about the heavily curtained lap dancing booth we found ourselves in. I danced a little just for him; liking the heat in his eyes, the hardness of his dick through his jeans. His mouth all over me, his fingers teasing, my lips around his cock, the could-get-caught feeling making me so wet when he thrust inside I almost came straight away. It was hot, but fuck. Now is not the time to be thinking about it.

I tuck carefully curled hair behind my ear then reach for his hand for reassurance, nerves creeping back in. I'm more nervous than I care to admit.

The door opens, and a woman with dark reddish hair beams at us, arms coming out to envelop Miles.

"Happy New Year! So happy you could make it! Don't you scrub up well?" She pulls back, smoothing a hand down his suited shoulder. She's right about that, he looks hella hot in a suit.

"Hey, Amanda, sorry we're late," he says but he's not, I gave him head before we got ready, it's why we're late. He kisses her on the cheek as she turns to me.

"And you must be Mia! My goodness, you are just stunning! That blue is gorgeous on you." She pulls me into a hug and in all my awkwardness I return it, not sure where to put my hands or arms or anything.

"Lovely to meet you, Amanda," I say politely as she steps back into the house, gesturing us to follow her. She takes our coats and hangs them up in a little closet before hooking her arm through mine and leading us into a room filled with people.

Miles follows and when I turn and look at him he only shrugs, a half-amused smile on his face.

"You don't know how happy I am Miles brought you along. He usually comes alone to this kind of thing," Amanda says in hushed tones, glancing at him as he walks behind us. "Come meet my husband. Carl!"

If Carl is surprised I'm here, he doesn't show it. He exchanges a sharp look with Miles before greeting me as if he's never met me before.

I'm aware all too soon that the people attending this dinner party are all middle class, professionals and I'm so far from that it's unfunny. This is a completely different world from what I'm used to and I'm finding it overwhelmingly awkward. I don't know how to act, or what to say. I used to go to school with people who would end up like these people, but I'm not one of them.

At Bliss, we look after some of these types of men too, but they're not usually holding conversations about medical procedures and stocks, they're usually making crude comments and eye-fucking girls young enough to be their daughters.

Miles seems able to fit in with this crowd, somehow. He's rough around the edges, in the way he talks but he can talk shop about business because he owns one. He's self-assured and he doesn't give a fuck that some of these people have an education. It makes it awkward at times, his dismissiveness, or assertiveness, his general demeanor making people slightly wary, on edge, but that's just him. He never makes me feel like that.

I feel small and I think he can sense my discomfort as he keeps me close, hand on my waist, rubbing circles with his thumb on my hip. I lean into him and make conversation when I can. It's all bullshit anyway, he whispers into my ear.

Caterers hover as we sit down at the large dining table. Amanda pausing, smiling at me and Miles from across the table. She picks up her wine glass and takes a sip.

"So, how did you two meet?"