"Emily" Jason whispers slowly, out of breath, prolonging each letter as if to savor it. Then at his words, all my senses come to live. I push him again slowly and reluctantly, and this time I succeed, he loses hold of me and all I can think of is the warmth of his grip. He looks at me like the kid who just got something he was forever wishing for.

"Don't ever do that again!" I say clearly out of breath. Trying so hard to match my face expression with the words I'm trying to say. Trying so hard not to jump in his arms and kiss him, just for one last time. His look turns to confusion now. I turn back to go again, and this time he doesn't stop me. Wishing now that he had. Again, just for one last time.

I quickly enter the room and close the door, fighting the urge of going back to him, to his arms and never let go. But I can't. I can't open up my heart. Not yet and not this fast, I'm not ready yet. I can't test my chances, especially when I know what's waiting for me if I did. And it's not something that I would like to endure again. I've already made up my mind and I'm done with this for now. I never want to fall in love again, So now every kiss would be a crime.

This is what a part of me says but for my other part, it is on cloud nine. Still not recovering from what just happened with Jason, still feeling his lips on mine, his touch, and smell. Fireworks, desire and tangled up emotions. Emotions that I haven't felt for some time now, and I have missed a lot despite everything. Emotions that I was holding soft and hide.

It's late at night, I can't sleep, I try not to think about what just happened but it's not working. My contradicted thoughts and emotions are tearing me apart and I can't seem to make up my mind on any decision, either I leave or give it a shot. God this is going to be a long night.

I woke up early, even if I don't remember even sleeping. The first thing I see is Hailee's message, telling me she's at her parent's farmhouse, I went there with her few times. Her parents like being away from the city pressure.

-------

It's been fifteen minutes since I'm waiting for a cab to show but nothing, It's like they were all swallowed. Maybe I should go back and ask Jason to drive me, I'm sure he won't decline.

As I'm making up my mind whether to go and ask Jason or not. A car stops for me and it's certainly not a cab.

"Emily!" Ryan calls from the car's window

"Ryan? What are you doing here?"

"I was just driving around. And you, who are you waiting for?"

"I'm waiting for a cab but not even one showed up"

"Where are you going?"

"I was going to meet Hailee, But-"

"I'll take you, " I think about his proposal. After all, I have no choice, there's no cab and this keeps me from asking Jason to drive me. Which is a good thing. Right?

"I-Are you sure? She's in her parents' house, I mean it's far from here"

"Yes! Come on, get in. After al, you won't stay here the whole day waiting for a cab"