ACT THREE, chapter sixty—one :
i started a joke
which started the whole world crying
but i didn't see
that the joke was on me

ϟ

The Golden Quartet was together for the last time.

Lili, Hermione, and Ron escorted Harry across the courtyard, arm—in—arm, staring up at the Astronomy Tower where Dumbledore awaited. Lili's black jean shorts did little to protect her from the wind, but her tights kept her warm against the chill. Her hair was long and loose down her back, and her pounding heart was wedged into the thin channel that was her throat.

Holding tight to his hand, Lili hated to separate from Harry at a time like this.

But they had no other choice, and it was time.

"Good luck, mate," Ron murmured, his face reflecting the same concern that everyone else was feeling.

But Harry just smiled and squeezed Lili's hand reassuringly, "I don't need luck. I'll be with Dumbledore."

And then, Lili could do nothing but watch him go.

ϟ

THE FINAL PLEA:

"Have you ever considered that you ask too much? That you take too much for granted? Has it ever crossed your brilliant mind that I don't want to do this anymore?"

"Whether it has or hasn't is irrelevant. I will not negotiate this with you, Severus. You agreed. There's nothing more to discuss."

ϟ

It was almost time.

Somewhere within the castle, Flitwick's choir sang an ominous tune, a frightening hum that matched the cold fear in the air. Severus stood near the third story window, staring at the gathering storm — a vortex of black clouds swirling eerily in on itself. His expression was blank and inscrutable, hiding his own inner storm.

Severus had been avoiding his daughter since their last conversation when he came so close to telling her the very dangerous truth: I'm about to murder Dumbledore, Lilium. Then a warning that would make her bleed: I'm going to betray you, Lilium. He wished to see Harry — Potter now, again — once more before this moment, but it was a bad idea. This was all a bad idea, and Severus felt this deep within himself. He could not eat, not now and not for days, and yet he still managed to sick up all over his robes before he left his chambers this evening.

Potter and the Headmaster were already gone, Draco had finished mending the Vanishing Cabinet, and Lilium (or should he call her Delphini now?) had no idea what was coming for them. But Severus knew, and he could not change what would happen next — no matter how much he wished to.

ϟ

Something was wrong. So very, very wrong.

Hogwarts was darker than usual, the sconces muted, the corridors frigid with rising fear. Lili's pale skin glimmered with the light crawling across the ceiling above her, and she glanced warily towards the window where the sky had changed into something dark and dangerous. The voices of the Hogwarts choir echoed eerily, and the girl felt the danger pulsing in her blood.

But then the Rune on her left finger stung and in her head, she heard a whispered:

'Come to the Astronomy Tower — hurry.'

Lili didn't need to be told twice, instantly breaking into a run through the twisting corridors of the castle that she grew up in, that was her home. As students scuttled off to their Houses — little more than shadows, Lili sprinted by in her heavy boots, somehow silent, a ghost, a shadow within shadows. Invisible to all.

When she finally pushed into the cluttered and heavy darkness of the Tower supply room, Lili saw him there, waiting, staring into the observatory, face pale but healthy. He wasn't injured, he wasn't hurt, he was here and he was whole and he was safe, safe, safe.

"Harry—,"

Harry instantly covered her mouth before pointing above... where Lili's gaze trailed upward slowly, nervously, and what she saw made her want to scream and never stop. Draco and Dumbledore, her cousin holding their Headmaster at wandpoint. The girl's black horrified eyes widened and she jerked desperately forward to help, but Harry held her back.

His lips moved hastily by her ear, "He said to wait, to stay down here—,"

"No..."

No matter how angry she was with Dumbledore, she didn't want this. No, she didn't want this.

"Can you get Snape?" He whispered fervently, "We need to get Snape..."

Lili's hand shakily darted to the obsidian pendant hiding beneath her shirt and she spun the stone until it burnt hot in her palm. Please Sev, come. Please Sev, hurry. Please Sev, save us.

He would come in time, but he would not save them.

Dumbledore's voice echoed in the haunting air, and their horror only grew when Draco disarmed their Headmaster — the greatest wizard of their time — the leader of the Light, his wand flying free, clattering across the ground. Well done, Draco. But killing is not nearly as easy. It all came together: Borgin & Burkes, the Room of Requirement and a pair of Vanishing Cabinets, accidentally hexing Lili into a coma, all of those mysterious failed assassinations on the Headmaster...

It all began to make sense.

"Let me help you, Draco."

"I don't want your help!" Draco cried out, in utter agony, "Don't you understand?! I have to do it! I have to kill you..." His voice dropped to a pitiful whisper, "Or he's gonna kill me."

Tears streaked down Lili's face as she stared up at the boy she once knew so well, his sleeve yanked up and his Dark Mark exposed, forced to kill the man who had made their childhoods magical and terrible and wonderful, too. No... No, this wasn't the future she wanted for him, for herself, for any of them.

Then, slowly, amazingly, Draco began to lower his wand... when footsteps echoed. Lili breathed shakily, eyes darting to the sky, at the gathering clouds twisting darkly and then to the stairwell. The door opened and Bellatrix stepped into the light. Glanced round. Grinned. More came: Fenrir Greyback, the Carrows, more and more Death Eaters.

Lili's mother grinned viciously, slinking closer with violence on her mind. "Well now, look what we have here. Dumbledore — wandless and alone, cornered in his own castle." She leant within an inch of her nephew and breathed against his ear, "Well done, Draco."

Draco shuddered. Lili did, too.

Harry peered up, eyes flashing angrily at the sound of Bellatrix's voice. He drew his wand slowly. Lili followed his lead, twisting her yew wand in her hand, over and over again. They should go. They should fight. They might not be able to stop them, but they could try. Merlin, they should just try!

"Good evening, Bellatrix. I think introductions are in order."

"Love to, Albus. But I'm afraid we're on a bit of a tight schedule." She then glanced at Draco and hissed, "Do it."

Draco's wand jerked up once again. Harry raised his own, aiming through the empty gaps in the floor, poised and ready.

Just then, a shadow splintered through the columns to their right. Lili jumped and readied to fire — a vicious curse on her lips, but it was just Severus, quiet as a ghost too, peering at them with something complicated in his eyes. Lili breathed a sigh of silent relief. Harry went to speak, but Severus quickly raised a finger to his lips. Too dangerous to speak, too dangerous to say even a word. Then Severus took Lili's hand, motioned for Harry to stay, and then they drifted upward. Silent. Ghosts again.

Just for a moment, just a second more, Lili looked behind and watched Harry disappear in the darkness below.

Her father had a plan; he always had a plan.

"He doesn't have the stomach, just like his father." Up ahead, Greyback was growling like the predator he was, "Let me finish him. In my own way."

"No! The Dark Lord was clear. The boy's to do it." Bellatrix shrilly demanded, egging her nephew on harsher and harsher, "Go on, Draco. Now!"

Once more, Draco raised his wand, his hand trembling. Lili's own hand was steady, sure. The veins in her hand pulsed... She was ready to fight. She was ready to kill. It was time—

"No."

Slowly, Severus and Lili stepped out of the shadows.

They'd save him. They'd fight them all. They would do it together.

"Well, look who's here." Bellatrix crooned far too happily, "Sevy brought our little girl out to play. Did you bring her to see the slaughter?"

Severus didn't speak. Lili's nervous hands spastically tightened her hold on her father's arm. They would fight their way out, they would take them all on, Severus would make his move, any time now, any second... But her father didn't move. Nor did Dumbledore.

"Severus..." He only whispered, "Please."

Lili's black eyes darted back and forth frantically, trying to make sense of the scene playing out before her. Severus' own gaze slowly rose, and in a flash of shuddering breath, his arm moved to follow it.

Then:

"Avada Kedavra!"

A jet of green light hit Dumbledore squarely in the chest. For a second, the Headmaster hung, as if suspended upon the ramparts, and then... he fell. The night swallowed him.

Stumbling, Lili screamed.

"Morsmordre!"

Bellatrix gleefully raised her wand to the sky and a deafening blast shook the castle, swallowing Lili's horrified cry. The clouds exploded with grim light, twisting and churning into a familiar skull. Severus' arm dropped limply to his side. Lili, utterly stunned, stared at the empty place where the Headmaster stood only seconds before. She was blind to the way the Death Eaters began to flee towards the exit, to the way her father grabbed Draco's shoulder, turned him round, and pushed him the same way. She was numb, so totally numb. She couldn't move. She couldn't think. She could hardly even breathe.

Finally, with a strangled sort of gasp, Lili scrambled into motion and lurched to the ramparts of the tower to gaze up into the leering skull above and then down at the twisted body of crushed bones below. Rage filled her pitch black eyes.

Dumbledore was dead. Dumbledore was dead. Dumbledore was dead.

And Lili's father had killed him.

The man himself suddenly snatched her by the scruff of the collar and tried to force her across the tower after them.

"No!" Lili instantly screeched, pounding a fist against his chest, knees giving out, "No, you b—stard, you murderer, you—,"

Severus dragged her upright and yanked her face to his chest, so tight that it hurt. Her body was still weak from being hexed and thus she couldn't even fight back when he forcibly pulled her down the spiral staircase of the Astronomy Tower.

In the mess of her hair, in her ear, Severus murmured, "Trust me."

How could she trust him ever again?

"Please, Lilium. Trust me."

The world was eclipsed in shadow.

Guiding Lili by the hand, Severus led them through the endless corridors of the castle, his face an impassive mask as he rounded corner after corner. Lili's fellow students, in pajamas and robes, peered at the frightening sky, then turned to stare curiously at their professor and his dark companions. Severus swept wordlessly past. Lili averted her tear—filled eyes.

Hearing footsteps, an Auror turned and was blasted off his feet as Severus and the others strode by. Bellatrix lagged behind, gazing past the towering doors of the Great Hall, past the floating candles to the vaulted ceiling, solemn as a holy church. Cackling madly, Lili's mother crashed through the Hall, scattering glass plates and cups in every direction, before raising her wand and sending a fiery bolt toward the grand window opposite.

As it exploded, a blast of cold air swept through the Great Hall, extinguishing every single candle. 

Her mother simply grinned, like a mad child.

Her daughter watched shards of glass spill from the window like jewels, standing transfixed as the fragments lashed her face, drawing blood. At her side, Draco flinched in horror, watching as the place that had been their home was shattered like glass.

The Death Eaters raced out of the castle, firing spells left and right, fighting Aurors and The Order.

The first battle of many.

Lili slowed amidst the chaos, glancing upward, watching the students come to the windows and gape out at the churning emerald sky. They looked like mere apparitions in their nightclothes. Then, through one window above, Lili spotted Hermione and Ron pushing through the other students, most of them confused, crying, scared. Then, her best friends spotted her. Bathed in the green light from above, she saw their lips form her name and met their wide—eyed gaze with agony wrecking on her face.

A hand pulled sharply at hers, but she wouldn't turn round.

"Lilium!" Severus' voice was loud, shockingly so, and it drew her back round to look dazedly up at him, having to steady herself. "Lilium. They will kill you if you stay."

Lili's side was chosen now.

Delphini Lestrange was with the Death Eaters now.

The girl wiped harshly at her cheeks and numbly allowed him to drag her onward, shielding her from all the spells shot their way. He was nearly supporting all of her weight at this point, keeping her upright as they hurried through the Forest. Lili fairly tripped along, stumbling over her own feet, using him for balance as he pulled her on. Her mother was dancing down the hillside, laughing and singing madly to herself.

As they approached Hagrid's hut, Draco looked just as breathless and terrified as she did.

Lili wanted to ask him, How did we get here?

Severus held tight to her hand, apparently unwilling to let her go, and his grip only tightened when:

"Snape!" A voice yelled from the mist. "He trusted you! I trusted you!"

The Snape's finally slowed and looked back to find Harry sprinting towards them with fury burning on his face.

"Harry—,"

Lili tried to bolt to him, but Severus held her back, keeping her trapped by his side.

Just then a giant fireball erupted into the sky.

Lili and Severus wheeled round to see Bellatrix and the others silhouetted against the flames. The mad woman cackled in glee, hands over her head as she danced before the fire. Her mother had set Hagrid's Hut ablaze. Tears fell down Lili's face as she stared up at the senseless destruction, body paralyzed with horror.

"Go on!" Severus ordered fiercely.

Draco stumbled back and tried to grab onto Lili's hand, but she shoved him roughly away from her and refused to be moved. Not now, not when Harry was running towards them, wand in hand, absolute vengeance in his eyes. Lili's father stood stolidly, tall and black against the raging fire. Harry pointed his wand, firing a jet of red light. Severus didn't move, merely let it streak by his head. The boy stopped, chest heaving, and took aim again.

"Incarcerous!"

Severus raised his wand and parried the curse with ease.

"Fight back!" Harry screamed, "You coward, fight back!"

With staggering quickness, Severus' wand whipped forth and Harry was off his feet and crashing to the earth. The only boy she had ever loved forced himself to one knee and pointed his wand when a jet of tortuous red light hurled him back into the grass again. It was Bellatrix, Bellatrix was hurting Harry, Bellatrix wouldn't stop hurting him—

"Mummy, no! Please, don't—,"

Lili staggered back when Bellatrix sharply backhanded her, long nails slicing open her cheek.

"Don't you touch her!" Severus roared, sounding utterly feral, "Neither of them—, the boy belongs to the Dark Lord!"

Bellatrix eyed Severus levelly before tutting at Lili's now bleeding face and then trotting happily off.

Lili bolted.

Tearing away from her father, she fell to her knees beside Harry, already sobbing, shakily trying to gather him back up. Severus glanced back at the pair of teens, a complicated swirl of emotions fighting for dominance on his face, before he once more turned away himself and walked towards the flames as if to give them a final private moment.

Lili choked out, "Harry, don't..."

Harry didn't listen, merely grimacing, pulling himself to his feet and aiming one last time.

"Sectumsempra!"

Bang! Severus wheeled round and once more sent Harry flying onto his back.

"Stop!" Lili cried hoarsely, "Stop, please don't hurt him!"

Who was she pleading for? Harry, or her father? She couldn't be sure.

Slowly, Lili felt Severus' shadow fall over them, and she shuddered at the utter indifferent cruelty in her father's voice.

"You dare use my own spells against me, Potter?" Harry went still, and his eyes shifted to meet Severus' when the man dispassionately said, "You may have gotten your mother's eyes, but you're as dim as your father."

Lili's chest heaved and Harry's lips trembled.

"How could you...?" The boy she loved whispered to her father, "How could you?!"

"Go back to the castle," Severus demanded coldly, wand still aimed to strike, "Tell everyone what you saw."

"Sev, please, we can still fix this—," Lili tried through her sobs.

"Silence, Delphini!"

"No!" Harry's voice built to a scream, struggling up again, just once more, "Don't do this, you can't—!"

"Don't make me do this, Potter..."

"I won't let you—!"

And then Harry was slammed onto the ground again, thrown by the force of Severus' wand, face dazed but hand still searching for Lili's. It didn't matter. As he lay prone on the ground, Lili's father kicked the boy's wand aside. Then he leaned to wrap an arm round his daughter's waist, picked the struggling girl up, and dragged her away. As she cried, as she fought, Severus forced Lili further into the darkness, into the trees, past the wards of Hogwarts.

And then they vanished.

ϟ

Overhead, the Dark Mark still burnt.

In the absence of them, Harry screamed in agony and pounded his fist into the earth. Over and over, until his knuckles split and began to bleed. He hurt, everything hurt really, his body as well as his heart. The betrayal was so intense, so deep, that it felt like a physical wound.

Years ago, Snape hated him, wanted nothing to do with him, wanted only to make him miserable. But then Lili. Lili drew them together, like a magnet, using gravity to draw them both into her orbit. They had welcomed him and had cleared out a permanent space in their house as well as their lives. Over the years, he had been given new glasses and a winter coat that fit and supplies for a school, and they never demanded repayment. But honestly, Harry would've cooked and cleaned and done all the work he did for the Dursleys if he got to stay at Spinner's End, where it was safe and quiet, forever and ever. But neither Snape nor Lili ever asked that of him.

And Harry had loved them both for it.

But now... Now, he had lost one of the last father—figures he'd ever had and the girl whom he loved more than life, both of whom people thought were as evil as Tom Riddle himself. Now, as he knelt over Dumbledore's dead body and cried into his chest, he knew it was all gone.

Now, Harry knew it was all a lie.

ϟ

THE FULL PROPHECY:

"The one with the power to vanquish the dark lord approaches. . . . Born to those who have thrice defied him, born as the seventh month dies . . . The daughter of a man twice a betrayer will deliver either to his death, bound forever to the survivor . . .

And the Dark Lord will mark the boy as his equal, but he will have power the Dark Lord knows not . . . And under the gaze of the daughter, either must die at the hand of the other for neither can live while the other survives. . ."

ϟ

Delphini Lestrange attended the revel that celebrated Albus Dumbledore's death.

The girl had not seen her father since the night they arrived at Malfoy Manor, having locked herself away in the bedroom she used to spend two weeks a summer in. She had not bathed nor slept nor spoken, not since she heard the full prophecy — told to her by the Dark Lord himself. She had only been dragged from her bedroom for that, and for the party now in full effect in the ballroom to celebrate the death of the leader of the Light. The rest of the Wizarding world was in mourning, but for days, the Death Eaters had been celebrating.

It was a sickening sight.

The Malfoy's the ever gracious hosts, brought low by yet another failure, bringing shame to their Pureblood Name. Delphi couldn't bear to look at any of them. The girl had been avoiding a profoundly pleased Bellatrix all night. Severus was nowhere in sight, likely drowning his sorrows somewhere.

Some Death Eaters were appalling in their drunkenness, and others were unrepentant in their public debauchery, right there on the couches that cost more than the Potions Mastery that Delphini would never earn. Many had collected themselves 'chew toys', they were called, weak Muggles captured to provide entertainment... and to die gruesome deaths — as a Muggle deserved. After all, the only good Muggle was a dead Muggle.

Delphi was indifferent to this and them and everything. She felt separate from their presence, sights and sounds. Occluded so far into dissociation. Dead to the world and its horrors. The girl felt nothing, saw nothing, she was nothing.

As she wandered safely outside, Delphi decided that it was easier to exist this way.

"This is becoming a habit of yours, my pet," the Dark Lord was peeled from the shadows of the garden, though in her deadness, the girl did not startle at his sudden arrival nor approach, "Your refusal to join in on any festivities commenced."

Delphi bowed in reverence for a moment, and then confessed:

"It seems I do not find enjoyment in parties, my Lord, when the job is not yet finished. Harry Potter still walks this earth, and until he does no more, I find I feel no joy in anything."

The Dark Lord's bloodless lips curled into a smile, "Ah, how you please me, Delphi. We've always been alike, you and I. Both of us, different. I suppose it is destiny that makes it so, does it not?"

"I think so, my Lord."

Together, they took a stroll about the grounds.

The grass folded under the weight of Nagini's thick body, slithering alongside them. The chill of early morning air seeped into her thick Death Eater robes, but she did not feel it. She was aware she still smelt of blood and sweat and yes, the smoke of Hagrid's burning hut and yes, the sharp ozone of the Killing Curse. She did not care. In truth, she didn't think the Dark Lord cared either. If anything, she thinked it only endeared her to him. White peacocks cautiously haunted the grounds, perhaps spooked by the wild sounds of the party. Or perhaps by Nagini. Delphi, in truth, felt much the same.

Frighteningly casual, the Dark Lord remarked, "I understand you are leaving the Manor tomorrow."

This came as a surprise. "I... was not aware of that, my Lord."

"Hm. Severus requested you receive more formal training in the ways of a fully indoctrinated Death Eater, under his direct tutelage of course."

"Of course." Then, as an afterthought, as if confiding in a loved one: "I imagine my mother is displeased."

"Bellatrix is merely jealous of Severus' success in raising you in my image. Soon, she will understand."

Then, without warning, the Dark Lord raised his wand and killed one of the many peacocks in a flash of green. Feast, he must have breathed in Parseltongue, Feast. Numbly, dazedly, Delphini watched Nagini's great jaw unhinge to swallow the bird whole. Somewhere distantly, she realised she felt sick.

The Dark Lord continued on his journey, unconcerned. Delphi hastened to keep step.

"Tell me how Dumbledore died, Delphini," he said after a time. "I know you were a witness to it."

Delphi refused to look at him, quietly asking, "Has my father not related the tale to you, my Lord?"

"Many times. But I find such... pleasure... in the telling of it."

Behind her back, her pale hands clenched into fists before releasing. "Dumbledore begged for his life, my Lord. Slumped against the ramparts, weak and old, his voice had been barely more than a whisper. 'Severus, please', he said. Then he was dead."

"A truly pathetic end," the Dark Lord's red eyes gleamed, "How fitting."

The girl dipped her head in agreement.

With a great sigh, the one at her side related, "Your cousin has greatly disappointed me, Delphi."

"Which one, Master?" Delphi knew exactly which one.

"Ah, but of course. I often forget you possess two cousins, my pet. Draco, of course, and the other who has just married a werewolf." The disgust was plain in her Master's voice. "Can you imagine anything more vile?"

"Repulsive, my Lord."

"But it was Draco of whom I speak. Such a disappointment for such noble blood."

"Indeed. But perhaps, it is the Half—Bloods who truly get the deed done in the end, my Lord."

It was so very dangerous to breathe such words to life, and yet the girl did not feel guilt nor regret. When the Dark Lord stopped, Delphi turned so that they may face one another. His hand was cold as it trailed past her clavicle over her neck and to her cheek. Below, Nagini was winding her thick, now lumped body round their feet, drawing them closer and closer together.

"You're very brave, Delphi, to speak to me like this."

"Shall I apologise, my Lord?"

The Dark Lord scoffed out a high—pitched laugh and his grip on her cheek tightened, a cold thumb trailing over her plush bottom lip. With greedy eyes, he inspected her face, its sharpness, its paleness, its true and genuine blankness. Closer and closer, they were bound until their faces were mere centimeters apart right now. 

"You were right to return to me, pet. Severus' days of spying are at an end, and with Draco's failure, your father was forced into an action that would have surely put you in much danger had you remained."

Soft, speaking as if to a lover, the Dark Lord breathed:

"The world beyond my protection is cruel, and it is I alone who can defend you against their hatred and disgust. I will keep you, feed you, teach you, and when the war is over, at the end of all things, you will belong to me."

That was what the prophecy said, after all. Once Delphini Lestrange delivered Harry Potter to his death, she would be bound forever to the surviving Dark Lord. Her future was set in stone, her purpose destined to be fulfilled, and there was no way out.

No — way — out.

The Dark Lord turned to leave her to the shadows, but he had only walked ten steps when he turned back and called, "Will you miss him, my pet?"

The girl glanced over her shoulder, questioning, "Who, my Lord?"

"Ah. But Harry Potter, of course."

"No." The answer came easily and immediately, a deadness to her black eyes that never once existed there. "No, I am relieved to be free of him."

He gave a hollow yet pleased smile, "But you are not free of him, my dearest pet. No, your job is not yet finished."

Then the Dark Lord was gone, faded back into the shadows, travelling on the path back to the Manor. The sixteen year old girl listened to his retreat, barefeet in the blood—soaked grass, and then she turned to face the horizon where the sun was but a sliver before her eyes. For just a second, as the sun dawned upon her faze, she allowed herself to become, once more:

Lilium Snape.

In truth, Lili could barely see the light through the darkness that had descended since abandoning Hogwarts and her life there, how loss was leaking all over her life like a stain. Her bond with her friends (Harry, Hermione, Ron, Harry, Hermione, Ron, Harry—) was fierce and beyond questioning, and she could not name this sensation of losing them as mere grief. Lili had no word that could fully capture these ideas of longing or despair, and still she ached for them — for their laughter and closeness and safety.

No way out.

No way.

No.

Standing here, trapped in the prison of her own destiny, Lili was still — at her core — a Gryffindor, and she was brave and bold and reckless. Her father's days of spying might be over, but hers were only just beginning. She would fight, and she would not stop. She refused to let her friends go, to let her future collapse into complete destruction, to give up on the war when it was not yet won. And so Lili closed her eyes, pressed on the rune hidden where Harry would one day put a wedding ring, and thought her first rebellion into existence:

Let's be killers, Harry.

ANNIE SPEAKS

ϟ

well, act 3 is officially over. act 4? here we come....

who's ready for death and destruction?? ;)

CHAPTER SIXTY—TWO :

Hermione bit hard into her bottom lip, face twisting like she might cry again.

"In times like these, I try to be rational. Think with my head, not feel with my heart. But I just... I miss Lili so bloody much, I feel like I can't breathe."

Now, Harry's eyes filled with tears and he instinctively wrapped his arm round Hermione, pulling her close. She buried her face in his shoulder and let free another round of sobs.

Squeezing his eyes shut, tears slipping loose, Harry whispered oh—so—softly, "I miss her, too."

my meme for this chapter:

something funny to get us through these troubled times...