ACT ONE, chapter thirteen :
and i miss the way you make me feel, it's real
when we watched the sun set
over the castle on the hill

ϟ

Diagon Alley was always busy this time of year.

It was to be expected, but Lili still absolutely hated being round all these people. The crowds suffocated her, the space shrunk, the world closed in. She kept one hand tightened on the edge of her father's cloak, hidden beneath the fabric, subtle in how she clung to him. She wasn't even sure he noticed. But if he did, he did not push her away.

The Snape's went about their business efficiently, as always. They stopped at the Apothecary which always smelt of a mixture of bad eggs and rotted cabbage, but Lili was more than used to it. Discounting the stench, they picked up a few necessary ingredients and sold a few others. The Snape's, after all, possessed a superior herb garden. They collected new robes at Madam Malkin's, and they were on their way to collect her textbooks at Flourish and Blotts when:

"Lili!"

Lili. She liked the nickname — warm and bright. She'd never had a nickname before; no one her age had ever given her one. It contained a sense of belonging to it, like she fit with them, a piece to their puzzle. She had never felt like she had belonged anywhere or with anyone. But now, she belonged with the wild—haired girl running towards her.

"Hermione!"

Through the busy street, the two girls pushed and shoved through the crowds of people until they collided hard, wrapping their arms tightly round one another, laughing when they swayed left to right. Lili had bushy brown hair in her mouth and Hermione had accidentally been kicked in the shin, but neither of these things mattered. They just hugged each other close. Merlin, but she'd missed her.

"How are you—?!"

"—I can't believe we've come on the same day—!"

"—Most people come right before school, you know—,"

"—Is that Ronald, I mean Ron, over there—?"

"—You haven't seen Harry, have you? Apparently, he got lost in the Floo—,"

Finally, Snape arrived at their sides and looked particularly unhappy at Hermione's last statement, but he didn't say a word. Her friend turned respectfully (if a bit nervously) to her father.

"Good morning, Professor Snape."

Snape stared.

Lili rolled her eyes, grabbed Hermione's hand, and quickly guided her away, looking round the street all the while. Where'd the hell Harry had gone that had everyone so bloody upset? Being the Boy Who Lived, it wasn't a good idea for him to go round such places unattended. Merlin knew what could happen to him.

It still stung that Harry hadn't written her back at all all summer.

"Did you hear who is signing books at Flourish and Blotts today?" Hermione whispered conspiratorially.

Lili rose a curious brow, "No...?"

She hoped it was someone particularly fascinating like Newt Scamander or Propellas Gentlus or Cassandra Vablatsky. But when Hermione next spoke, Lili was seriously disappointed.

"It's Gilderoy Lockhart!"

Ugh. Lili wanted to vomit. Nevermind, definitely not anyone fascinating.

"Isn't it thrilling! Gilderoy Lockhart—," the name apparently required emphasis, "—is going to be there! We can actually meet him! I mean, he's written almost the whole booklist!"

She was fairly certain Snape snarled over her shoulder. Quite annoyed at being led, her father had no choice but to follow the girls towards Flourish and Blotts. They were nearly at the door when they came upon none other than a familiar half—giant and a soot—covered Harry Potter. Lili was surprised by the sudden lack of tension she saw in her father.

"Harry!" Hermione beamed at the sight, gushing with relief, "Everyone was so worried!"

"Hello," Lili nodded to both of them, feeling shy and unbearably awkward for some stupid reason. "Nice to see you both again..."

"It's great to see you too!" Harry grinned at them, not seeming to care about Lili's strangeness (he never did).

Lili blushed, feeling even stupider.

"Oh Harry, what did you do to your glasses?" Hermione cocked her head disapprovingly at the boy before taking out her wand and pointing it directly between his green eyes. Swiftly, she incanted, "Oculus Reparo."

Instantly, Harry's glasses were mended. He blinked in amazement before smirking, "I definitely need to remember that one."

Snape might have snorted. Harry tensed.

Either ignoring the tension or not noticing it (she suspected the latter), Hagrid smiled at the two girls kindly. "Hope you've 'ad a good summer, Hermione, and of course you have, Lils, back with yer dad. You will come by and visit my new niffler, won't ya?"

"Of course, Hagrid," Lili solemnly swore, "Soon as I can."

"That's a good lass." He ruffled her hair (which she hated) before turning to the dark man hovering just over her shoulder, "Hullo, Professor Snape, sir."

"Hagrid," her father nodded once, a typical greeting. He simply glowered at Harry (another typical greeting).

Harry seemed to glower right on back.

Lili had a frown on her lips, taking the boy in, "Harry, you're... covered in dirt."

He rolled his eyes in amusement, "Nice to see you too, Lili."

She sniffed at him, said farewell to Hagrid, and still holding onto her best friend's hand, led the way into Flourish and Blotts with Snape and Harry just behind. They spotted Hermione's rather nervous—looking Muggle parents stood with who Lili imagined was Mister Weasley (the red hair was a good tell). Snape hesitated, ground his teeth, and only crept closer when Lili glanced back at him.

"So you're dentists! Fascinating!" The Weasley man was saying, "I understand other Muggles quite fear you. Why is that?"

While some lady started talking to Harry, Lili glanced round. A copy of a golden—haired, pearly—toothed Gilderoy Lockhart's autobiography Magical Me was on display. Honestly, gag. They threaded their way through a chattering throng of middle—aged ladies, all craning their necks for a view of the man himself, who sat signing books at the rear of the shop. Lili ignored the adults in favour of Ron who looked a bit more grown up than she'd last seen him.

"Hey—a, Lili," her redheaded friend waved.

"Hello Ron," she smiled happily.

The boy turned and waved to the short and kindly—looking redheaded woman standing behind him, giving the girl a very nice smile that made her feel both strange and warm at once. "Oh, Mum, this is my friend, Lili Snape."

"Oh yes," the woman reached to clasp both of Lili's small hands, "I've heard such good things about you, dear!"

"All lies, I'm sure." Like a major ejit, she blushed to her roots. "That is, it's my pleasure to meet you, Missus Weasley."

"Well, quite well spoken, aren't you. Just like your father." Her smile grew a bit more strained (and Snape's expression did too) but the woman's smile softened quickly, "I hope you liked the sweater I sent at Christmas, dear."

When she didn't reply straight away (unsure how to respond), Snape gave her back a nudge and she jolted.

"Oh. Yes." Lili stuttered, pink and shy, "Very much. That is, thank you."

"That's all right, dear, I'll send you another for this Christmas as well, though you don't look like you've changed much in size. Are you sure you're eating enough?"

"Mum!" Ron groaned, ears red with embarrassment.

Harry barely muffled a snort, and both Lili and Ron elbowed him from either side.

Unfortunately, they were soon all caught up in the disaster that was Gilderoy Lockhart's publicity stunt. Everyone clapped. The Snape's did not. Lili kept her arms folded tightly across her chest, a look of pure displeasure on her face. She was shocked and horrified that Hermione was absolutely in awe of the man. And her horror only worsened when Lockhart and the reporters caught sight of The Boy Who Lived and dragged him before the camera. Poor Harry. He looked absolutely miserable.

Lili supposed she ought to feel glad, considering how annoyed she was with him, but she didn't relish in his misery anymore.

Nowadays, she felt his suffering like a physical ache.

"Nice big smile, Harry," Lockhart instructed her friend with a beaming smile, "Together, you and I rate the front page!"

In any case, Lili was much more interested in the way that Snape kept a good distance between himself and all the other parents in the shop, particularly Mister Weasley. She didn't often have a chance to compare her father with others so now was a fascinating opportunity. Besides, her father was appropriately distracted with glaring at Harry — no doubt thinking the boy was relishing in the attention.

Curiously, Lili realised that the two fathers looked about as different as any two humans could — Mister Weasley was all soft roundness while Snape was all thin angles, and their hair colours clashed shockingly — fiery red with pitch black. Mister Weasley was all grins and laughter while Snape was all sneers and arched eyebrows. Fascinating.

Distantly, Lili wondered if Snape would've ever been that sort of father, if she'd had a mother to balance him out.

Even wondering such a thing made her feel inexplicably guilty.

"—to purchase my autobiography, Magical Me — which, incidentally is celebrating its twenty—seventh week atop The Daily Prophet's Bestseller List," Under the bright light of flashing cameras, Lockhart was boasting annoyingly, "he had no idea that he would, in fact, be leaving with my entire collected works! Free of charge!"

As the crowd clapped insanely, Lockhart caught the eye of some random fan and, before Lili knew it, a towering stack of books had been shoved into Harry's arms. Obviously mortified, the boy mumbled a quiet, "Thank you," before slipping free.

Snape's firm hand didn't leave Lili's shoulder 'til he turned her round and gave her a light push towards the exit. "Go. I'll brave the dunderheads to collect your books."

Lili sighed gratefully and turned to her friends. Harry drifted back into the crowd and to her side, red with embarrassment. Understanding his desperation (and even though she was mad at him), she tugged on his sleeve and quickly led the quartet's way to the exit.

Walking down the staircase (and definitely ripping a page from a book), Draco Malfoy appeared with a sneer, "Bet you loved that, didn't you, Potter? Famous Harry Potter. Can't even go into a bookshop without making the front page!"

Lili heaved a sigh. So they were back to the school routine again, were they? The words slipped from her lips easily, "Honestly, Draco, do shut up. Or else people might start to think you're jealous."

Draco narrowed his grey eyes at her, "I beg your pardon?"

"You can beg all you like, you shan't receive it." Lili snipped back sweetly, "He didn't want any of that."

"Oh, what's this, Potter?" Draco replied just as sweetly, "Is little Lilium Snape your girlfriend?"

Harry's cheeks blushed pink before Lili hissed, "Aww Draco. Please die slowly."

The blond's brows twitched slightly, in clear amusement. It was all right. All had been well again during the summer. Besides, this was just the way they were together: arguing and insulting and generally being unpleasant. It had been the same when they were four and it would be the same now when they were twelve. Lili and Draco could be rude to each other all they liked, but no one else had the right to do the same. The problem was, Draco also didn't have the right to be rude to Harry either...

"Leave them alone," Ginny suddenly spoke up, narrowing her eyes at him.

Oh, annoyance had quickly taken amusement's place. His eyebrows screwed low and, stepping closer, the Slytherin boy seethed, "How dare you, you dirty redheaded runt—,"

Suddenly a cane dropped onto Draco's shoulder, wiping the smirk from his face in a terrifying instant. Lili felt the breath leave her body at the newest arrival.

"Now, now, Draco... Play nicely."

Lili tensed at the arrival of Mister Malfoy, entire body straightening to be seen as polite and upstanding as possible. One had to have certain etiquette round people like the Malfoy's. Even if Lucius was an utter b—stard. It was a shame Missus Malfoy wasn't here; Lili actually liked her. Harry glanced at her curiously.

"Ah, Mister Potter." The blond man drew her friend's attention quickly, introducing, "Lucius Malfoy. We meet at last."

Mister Malfoy extended his hand, as if to shake Harry's but instead yanked him closer so his snake canehead could push under the fringe of his forehead, revealing the familiar lightning bolt scar. Before she could even consider it, Lili had smacked away Mister Malfoy's cane with a hissed:

"Don't touch him."

Harry glanced at her, wide—eyed, taken aback. Lili herself was just as shocked. Oh well. In for a Knut, in for a Sickle. At this point, she began to seriously doubt she'd ever be invited back to Malfoy Manor during the summers.

"Lilium Snape." Mister Malfoy smirked tightly. "Fallen into the wrong crowd, have you?"

"Certainly not, sir." Lili replied tartly, "I'm exactly where I should be."

"I wonder if your father feels the same way."

The colour drained from her face so quickly that she nearly got lightheaded. It was lucky one of the twins (Fred, she thought) happened to notice and quickly propped her back up.

The man continued mercilessly, "In any case, I was simply going to tell young Mister Potter here that his scar is legend." His cold eyes trailed back to her friend. "As, of course, is the wizard who gave it to you."

Lili couldn't resist a shudder.

"He killed my parents; he was nothing more than a murderer," Harry spat lowly.

"Yes, a pity about your parents. Curious that you yourself should escape with a mere flesh wound. Curious, too, that you speak of him in the past. Surely, you don't think He Who Must Not Be Named is gone forever."

The words tumbled out of Lili before she could stop them:

"His name is Voldemort."

Those within earshot gasp as Lili uttered the word without fear or hesitation, going against everything she'd ever been taught. The Dark Lord. He Who Must Not Be Named. You Know Who. Even saying the true name sent a shiver down her spine, but she did not let it show. She began to wonder if she was suicidal. Draco's father was one of the first to join the Dark Lord when he came into power. And one of the first to come back when he lost it.

At her side, Harry began to smirk.

Mister Malfoy's pale eyes narrowed slightly, "Well, well, Lilium, you must be very brave to mention his name. Or very foolish. Perhaps you've been inspired by your new Gryffindor compatriot, Mister Potter?"

"Fear of a name only increases fear of the thing itself."

Mister Malfoy's head swiveled in distaste, finding Hermione staring defiantly at her side.

Lili was quite proud of her.

"And you must be Miss Granger. Yes, Draco has told me all about you. And your parents." They all turned to see Hermione's parents smiling and talking happily with Ron's dad before Mister Malfoy added in disdain, "Muggles, aren't they?"

The blond man barely bothered to disguise his disgust for them.

Hermione shifted a bit, but Lili quickly grasped her hand and held it tight.

"Let me see. Red hair, vacant expressions...?" Mister Malfoy suddenly reached into Ginny's cauldron to yank out a very old, battered copy of A Beginner's Guide to Transfiguration. "Tatty, secondhand book? You must be the Weasley's..."

Suddenly Mister Weasley appeared to rescue them, tucking a comforting arm round his daughter, "Children! It's mad in here. Let's go outside?"

"Well, well, well. Weasley Senior."

The kindness in Mister Weasley's tone changed. "Lucius."

Lili shifted uncomfortably.

"Busy time at the Ministry. All those extra raids. I do hope they're paying you overtime." Malfoy waved the book in obvious demonstration, "But judging by the state of this, I'd say not. What's the use of being a disgrace to the name of 'wizard' if they don't even pay you well for it?"

Ron's cheeks flushed red, and Lili tapped her foot with his to reassure him... somehow.

"We have a very different idea about what disgraces the name of 'wizard', Malfoy."

"Clearly. Associating with Muggles..." Mister Malfoy stepped closer, "And I thought your family could sink no lower."

Oh shite.

Fist cocked, Mister Weasley moved to take a swing at Mister Malfoy.

Lili and Harry gasped while Ron looked about to burst into applause. She was also fairly certain she heard the twins shouting somewhere, 'Go, Dad, go!' Hermione, for her part, looked deeply concerned about all the books that would be caught in the crossfire.

But then Snape appeared out of bloody nowhere, smoothly stepping forward to put a firm hand on the red—haired man's shoulder.

"Do avoid causing a scene, Mister Weasley." In a lower voice, Snape added in a tone almost impossible to hear, "Ignore him, Arthur."

Eyes widening, Lili arched two dark brows. Why was her father on a first names basis with Arthur Weasley? She didn't even know that they knew each other!

Still red—faced, Mister Weasley reluctantly backed away. The spectators were either very relieved or vastly disappointed — no inbetween.

Mister Malfoy himself looked pleased, blond head tilting back, "Ah, Severus."

"Lucius." Snape replied evenly, hand finding its way onto Lili's bony shoulder, "I trust you are well."

"Quite. And I can only hope that you are..." Mister Malfoy's pale eyes purposefully trailed to the man's daughter, "Holding up, given the circumstances."

Snape remained utterly impassive while Lili tensed beside him, both anger and shame stirring in the pit of her stomach. She knew many of the other families in Slytherin likely had given her father endless shite for his daughter ending up in Gryffindor, of all Houses. The girl tucked a bit closer behind her father, unsure who she was hiding from — Lucius Malfoy or her friends. It might've been a bit of both.

"We're doing quite well," Snape assured in a tone so flat not even Lili could trip over it.

With a disbelieving hum, Mister Malfoy cast one last disgusted sneer at the children round him before dropping Ginny's belongings back into the cauldron with a hollow ting. "Here, girl. Take your book. Clearly, it's the best your father can give you." He then sneered at Mister Weasley, "I'll see you at work."

"See you at school," Draco added, like a threat.

"Count on it," Lili responded in the same way.

With that, the Malfoy's left Flourish and Blotts in a swirl of luxurious velvet and blond hair.

Snape tilted his head without taking his eyes off them, "No Malfoy is worth becoming violent over, Weasley. No matter how infuriating you might find them."

Mister Weasley exhaled heavily, if a bit reluctantly, "If you say so, Severus."

Lili curiously watched Snape subtly squeeze her shoulder — just the once — before slipping out of the shop and following after the Malfoy's into the street.

She wished she understood him. She wished she understood a lot of things.

ϟ

Harry and Ron missed the Hogwarts Express.

Hermione was gravely concerned. Lili found it hilarious. Besides, they were fine... mostly... though they both had twigs and leaves in their hair when they finally did arrive. Something about the Whomping Willow; it wasn't very clear.

Anyway. They had a different range of classes this year (with different coursework), but she hoped that most everything else would stay the same.

Lili had the same dormmates as last year, and she imagined she would for the rest of her years at Hogwarts. This was some comfort, even if she didn't totally like most of them. Snape was even less amiable than usual while Hermione was a genius as usual. Harry had an ever growing fan club (much to his chagrin). Draco was still intensely jealous of Lili's Gryffindor loyalties, and the little prat acted as if their renewed friendship over the summer hadn't even happened.

He was so frigging weird.

During the whole Hogwarts Express disaster, Ron's wand had snapped in half and he received a Howler like Lili had never before heard. Missus Weasley was an amazing woman, truly. After their whole escapade about flying a Ford Anglia (a car?) from Muggle London, Snape had really torn into the boys, and yet Harry and Ron received only a detention for their trouble. Lili still thought it was sort of funny... Snape was furious it wasn't worse.

As for Lili and Harry, well...

She had been decidedly icy with him since the start of the year, and he would have to be an ejit not to notice. And no matter what Snape said, Harry Potter was no ejit. He knew something was up. After a full day and a half of being on the receiving end of her cold shoulder, he'd had enough of her frigid northerly wind.

So, he followed her down the corridor, hands extended at either side, trying to keep up with her brutal pace.

"Why are you angry at me?" Harry demanded an answer.

"You should know."

"But I don't know! Obviously!"

Lili whirled round furiously, blinking harshly at the stupid frigging tears in her eyes, "Harry Potter, why didn't you write to me?!"

"I did write to you, Lilium Snape!" His voice was nearly a shout, cheeks tinged pink, "I wrote to you every single day all summer long!"

"But... but..."

Lili narrowed her eyes while she studied his face, searching him for all the tells that she'd learnt from him in the past year. But, the problem was... he wasn't lying. All the fight left her in an instant, and what replaced it was immediate shame. She softened and felt like burying herself into a hole. A really, really, deep one.

"Oh shite... I'm... I'm sorry, Harry."

He blinked, almost shocked at her apology. Shocked and perhaps a bit... embarrassed? He didn't know what to say, scuffing his shoe on the concrete as if to bide time. Finally, Harry shrugged and quietly replied, "No, I mean. I was upset with you too, at first, because I thought that you hadn't written, but there's a house elf who stopped all my letters coming and going, and he even almost got me expelled for using underage magic — which I didn't even use! I think he's the reason I couldn't get through the barrier at King's Cross, too. He's trying to keep me away from Hogwarts."

At this, Lili made a face, "Why doesn't he want you at Hogwarts, Harry?"

"He believes I'm in danger," Harry made a face, too.

"Bloody hell, Harry."

"I know."

She pressed her lips, "Well, if you are in danger, you won't have to face it alone. You'll have me."

His eyes sparkled, "Just like last time?"

"Yea. You and me together, just like last time."

There, all was well again.

All round, it might be the start of another successful year. Or not.

ϟ

Severus couldn't deny that something had changed in his child.

And, Merlin help him, they were (mostly) good changes.

Severus had never wanted to have children, and he most certainly hadn't intended becoming a single father. All his life, he had been repulsed by the idea for two very simple reasons.

First reason: he thought that he could not put any child through having him as a father. He knew who and what he was. He was not a good man; ask anyone and they would certainly tell you. The former Death Eater was sarcastic, cold, bitter, and usually downright mean. Nearly every day, he had questioned whether he'd truly done the right thing in keeping her (not that Albus gave him much of a choice), because he knew he wasn't nearly forgiving enough, or patient enough, or even affectionate enough to constitute a good parent. No child deserved that.

He could... He could never do to anyone what had been done to him.

Second reason: he thought that any child he fathered would be just like him. He feared that a child who looked and acted like him (not to mention was raised by him) would be destined for a lifetime of nothing but mockery and pain. That his child would be too ugly, and strange, and angry to ever be loved.

However, despite (perhaps in spite of) his shortcomings and inadequacies... he had a child who was beautiful inside and out. In the space of a single year, Lilium had gone from being a soft—spoken, timid wisp of a child to a vibrant, thriving, and happy young girl.

And this caused him to realise something profound, and it shook his foundation.

Those Gryffindors, those meddling dunderheads that made him want to tear his hair out; they were good for his child.

He thought back to those first few years after he met Lily Evans. She had brought him to life for the first time in his nine years of existence, and she changed him irrevocably — made him realise that he could be good, that life could be good, and that even the Darkest creatures could feel love. Even now, he could feel her warmth, picture her smile, and imagine that he hadn't ruined the one good thing that he had ever known.

Lily had made his life bearable, at least until he had destroyed even that, and he knew the effects that the love of a friend could have on a person, especially people like Severus Snape and his child.

No matter how much the little know—it—all vexed him, Severus could not deny that Hermione Granger had a positive effect on his daughter.

He couldn't help but notice the visual differences between the Granger girl and his own child when they were side—by—side. Where Granger was poised and impeccably put—together for a twelve year old, Lilium appeared small and dangerous by comparison.

His girl often dressed like the kind of child that people like Missus Evans would've warned Lily about. Naturally, he approved of the colour (black, of course), but numerous people had spoken to him about her style choices, saying they were startling to the extreme. Countless silver rings and heavy black boots and thick makeup round her eyes, intended to intensify her already black eyes, intended to scare off anyone who would look her way, intended to distract everyone from the scar on her lip and chin. But he'd long ago given up the fight about her fashion choices. If she wanted to look like a vampire, that was her own business.

And yet Granger seemed to think nothing of it. The girl did not crush his child's individuality, but seemed to encourage it — without even realising. She was odd, different, and so this allowed his child to be the same.

If there was a type of child that was likely to start trouble, Severus suspected Ronald Weasley fit into that category.

Lilium had always been reticent, quiet and shy, and refused to speak to anyone she didn't want to. For years, it had been a struggle to get her to talk to anyone besides him (and occasionally Hagrid and Minerva), and he soon gave up because he barely enjoyed talking to those people either. Why should he force her?

But Ronald Weasley spoke to anyone and everyone, (pathetically) desperate to be seen and noticed and thought of as worthy. Before, his child mostly carried herself with hunched shoulders and a low head, trying to make herself smaller, but Weasley had given her confidence. That redheaded dunderhead had allowed her to be loud and wild and everything that Severus usually hated but knew was good for a child.

Severus scowled at even the mere thought of his most hated student, and physically tried to shake away the mental image of Potter's insolent face from his mind. He certainly did not want to think anything good about Harry Potter, the definition of all that irritated Severus Snape, Brat Who Lived to Make Severus' Life Miserable.

But, the problem was, Harry Potter accepted Lilium Snape.

Upon meeting the girl, Potter showed Lilium instant kindness without hesitation. Severus couldn't help but look for cruel tricks and ulterior motives in every smile and laugh and word he said to his daughter because he was a bloody Potter and Potter's weren't to be trusted. But so far, there had been... nothing. Potter saw his child's strangeness, what most would characterise as Darkness, and he accepted her without regret. For all her barbs and harshness and sharp edges, Potter put himself close to her without a second thought.

And begrudgingly, Severus could admit that Lilium was better for it, for them, and while his opinion of their effects had changed, his opinions of the Potter brat... oh no, his opinion of him was never going to change.

Not for as long as Severus lived.

ϟ

Classes were certainly different this year.

True, Lili was thrilled to be overwhelmed with loads of new Charms, but Transfiguration seemed (tragically) like it might be ten times harder than last year. Of course she usually adored Herbology, but she was ready to set fire to every single Mandrake she came across from the rest of her life.

The shrieking, ugh.

Just when she thought things couldn't get worse, they had Defense Against the Dark Arts... which was somehow going to be worse than when Professor Quirrell was teaching. An impressive feat.

Sitting beside Hermione (like usual), Lili peered over at the boys with a sympathetic grimace, "Detention — on the first day? Impressive, actually. It must be some kind of record."

"I should think they should count themselves lucky that's all they got," Hermione tsked smartly.

Ron was overly bitter, "I should think you'd mind your own business."

They glared at one another. Round them, Lili and Harry exchanged a pained glance. Thankfully, Harry was a much better peacemaker than Lili could ever hope to be.

He looked sadly at their redheaded friend, "Look at it this way. How much worse can things get?"

Much worse, apparently.

As soon as Lockhart sauntered into the DADA classroom, Lili knew the day was considered a total loss.

Feeling miserable (and because misery loves company), Lili looked hopefully to her classmates. Unfortunately, Hermione and almost all of the other girls seemed to hang on his every word. The boys, at least, seemed just as unimpressed as she was. Because, really. This was what stood between them and the Dark Arts? Lili rolled her eyes over to the large, covered cage rattling ominously on his desk. She couldn't possibly be more disinterested. Which was a shame. This was her second favourite class. Or it used to be.

So far, Second Year (eloquently put) sucked.

"Let me introduce you to your new Defense Against the Dark Arts Teacher..." He stretched out their misery by waiting to state the obvious, "Me."

Lili was blank—faced, muttering a bit louder than she meant to, "For now."

The whole class went impossibly still. Whoops. Too loud. Hermione shot her a disapproving look while Harry and Ron were burying their snickers into their arms.

Lockhart froze, turned round, and blinked at her, wide—eyed and shocked, "That can't possibly be a threat... is it, Miss Snape?"

"Hmm." Lili thought long and hard about her answer before sincerely chirping, "No... But a warning, probably, yea."

The golden man was uncomfortable. As he should be. But he continued on introducing himself as cheerily as he could, "Gilderoy Lockhart, Order of Merlin, Third Class, Honorary Member of the Dark Force Defense League and five times winner of Witch Weekly's Most Charming Smile Award..."

He looked at one of his many portraits, and both painting—Lockhart and Lockhart himself winked at each other. It was gross.

"But I don't talk about that." Truthfully, he wouldn't shut up about it. "I didn't get rid of the Bandon Banshee by smiling at her!"

Chuckling stupidly, Lockhart awaited laughter. A few students smiled weakly. Lili just stared.

"I see you've all bought a complete set of my books. Well done." Their professor smacked his lips and continued pacing round the room, "I thought we'd start today with a little quiz. Nothing to worry about. Just to check how well you've read them, how much you've taken in..."

Much to Lili's distaste, Lockhart happily circulated his first ever pop quiz. Hermione immediately set to work with a little gasp while the Snape girl frowned down at the questions with rising annoyance. All the bloody questions were about him like: What is Gilderoy Lockhart's favorite color? What is Gilderoy Lockhart's greatest achievement to date? When is Gilderoy Lockhart's birthday and what would his ideal gift be?

Gag.

"You have thirty minutes. Start — now!"

Lili would rather stick her quill into her eye than answer any of these questions. In fact, she considered doing so as she sat with her arms crossed and refused to answer even a single one.

What was another detention, anyway?

At the end of the miserable thirty minutes, Lockhart sifted through their (mostly) completed quizzes with intense disapproval. He shook his head scornfully, "Tut, tut. Hardly any of you remembered my favorite color is lilac. But Miss Hermione Granger knew that my secret ambition is to rid the world of evil and market my own range of hair care potions. Good girl."

He winked at her best friend. Hermione fairly swooned. Lili was uncomfortable.

Standing again, the professor's expression suddenly darkened in dramatic effect. "Now... be warned! It is my job to arm you against the foulest creatures known to wizardkind! You may find yourself facing your own worst fears in this room. Know only that no harm can befall you whilst I am here..."

Lili rolled her eyes.

Lockhart turned slowly to the massive cage on his desk and let the tension build, "I must ask you not to scream. It might provoke them—!"

With flourish, he ripped free the cover from the cage and everyone jumped in shock. Inside were a small horde of bright blue tiny creatures with pointed faces and wings, rattling the bars and pulling funny faces at the students.

Several rows behind, Seamus blurted, "Cornish pixies?!"

"Freshly caught Cornish pixies!"

Unable to control himself, Seamus snorted with laughter. Lili didn't feel like laughing. She felt bad for the pixies — no matter how wild or troublesome; they were trapped in a cage, unable to escape, unable to understand why they had to be behind bars.

Lili... Lili felt like she could relate.

"Laugh if you will, Mister Finnegan, but pixies can be devilishly tricky little blighters. Let's see what you make of them now!"

Like an absolute madman, Lockhart flung open the cage. Instantly, the blue pixies rocketed out free, spraying the students with ink bottles, breaking beakers and shredding books. Lili ducked for cover while most of her classmates took to batting at the pixies with their hands or straight up running for the exit. Two pixies seized Neville by the ears, mercilessly lifting him into the air and then hooking him onto the chandelier.

"Come on now — round them up, round them up! They're only pixies!" Lockhart cried merrily before brandishing his wand, "Peskipiski Pesternomi!"

The spell had absolutely no effect whatsoever. A gleeful pixie skittered by and swiped the wand from his hand before tossing it straight out the window. Whelp. Their professor gave up on saving his portraits (and his students) and desperately dashed up the stairs towards his office. As the pixies tugged mercilessly on Lili and Hermione's hair, Harry and Ron batted them off with books to free them. They all whipped round when Lockhart called out to them with strained panic.

"I'll ask you four to just nip the rest of them back into their cage."

And with a loud slam of his door, he was gone. For a moment, the quartet just stood blinking in total disbelief.

Then Ron swatted a pixie gnawing his ear and shouted, "What do we do now?!"

Hermione burst to her feet with her wand held high, shouting, "Immobilas!"

The shocked pixies froze where they were, gravityless and floating.

"Nicely done, 'Mione," Lili was in awe, shaking out the loose hair from her plaits.

From high above, the Longbottom boy sighed sadly and hung from the chandelier in defeat, "Why is it always me?"

Poor Neville.

"Hold on," Lili advised, raising her wand with a curving hand motion, "Levicorpus!"

It was one of the new spells she'd learnt over the summer from Snape, and she was beyond excited to try it out. And thankfully, it didn't even kill him! That would be bad form. With a dull flash of green light, Neville's ankle rose over his head so he was released from the chandelier and she carefully guided him back to safe ground, shaken but unhurt.

"Thanks, Lili," Neville heaved a relieved sigh, practically leaning into her side.

"Yea, all right," she patted his shoulder, "How're your ears?"

Before he had a chance to answer, Harry glanced at her wide—eyed, "What spell was that, Lili?"

Stupidly, she blushed, "A Dangling Jinx, I can teach it to you, if you'd like."

The pair of kids shyly grinned at each other, hair askew, robes shredded.

"You shouldn't have to," Ron scoffed, nodding his chin up to the professor's office, "Can you believe him?"

Hermione was immediately defensive, "I'm sure Professor Lockhart just wanted to give us some hands—on experience."

"Hands—on?" Harry repeated dryly, "Hermione, he didn't have a clue what he was doing."

"Lili!" Hermione looked desperately at her for support.

Said girl winced, "He sort of has a point, though, 'Mione..."

"Rubbish." Her best friend replied dismissively, waving a hand, "Read his books. You'll all see the amazing things he's done."

"Things he says he's done," Lili pointed out reasonably.

Hermione did not appreciate this.

Slowly, the door to the office creaked open and a golden head popped out. Lili was ready to hex it. Seeing all the work had been done, he stepped fully out with a big exhale, "Oh well done, children, well done. I knew you could manage it!"

Said children exchanged an annoyed glance before snatching their bags and heading for the door. Until...

"Miss Snape?" Lockhart called, making her freeze, "If you could stay for but a moment..."

Lili turned round in slow confusion. Was she in trouble for not completing the quiz? Because that was the only reason he would want her to stay... right? But no, that didn't seem right. The glimmer of Lockhart's grinning teeth was enough to hurt her eyes. He wouldn't smile like that if she was in trouble, at least not in her experience. The boys shifted suspiciously while Hermione's eyes went wide in what Lili worried was jealousy. She waved them off though, boots thudding so, so loud when she carefully walked her way back into the classroom.

"Yes? Sir?"

Lockhart straightened up behind his desk with that signature smile, unbothered as if his entire classroom wasn't in utter chaos, as his clothes weren't completely disheveled.

"Miss Snape, I believe I heard you utilising a spell far above the skill level appropriate for a Second Year." The professor glinted strangely, golden hair flopping while his head cocked. "What was it? A Dangling Jinx? Perhaps you ought to teach it to me as well."

A teacher wanted a Second Year to teach him?

Well, now she'd heard everything.

"Ah... I—I could, yea, I suppose, but—,"

"You're a very smart girl, and a very pretty one at that."

Pretty?

She stopped.

Lili didn't think anyone had ever called her 'pretty' before, not even once. It wasn't that she didn't put much thought into her appearance — with all her eyeliner and rings and flowers and layers of black clothing. Really, Snape had never made it a priority, or anything of the sort. They had far more important things to think about than their appearances. But of course she had thought about it...

Deep down, Lili always wondered if she was too small, too skinny, too sallow and scarred to ever be considered anything resembling the word 'pretty'. She feared she was too sharp and angular, both in the face and in body, with hair that curtained her face and black tunneling eyes. She was missing fingers and had horrid scars on her face. So often she feared she was as ugly on the outside as she was on the inside.

"Not as smart as Hermione," Lili countered barely above a whisper, feeling strangely uncomfortable.

"Ah," Lockhart tsked, fingering her chin, "But just as pretty — if not more so."

Her freckled cheeks turned a bright pink, and she stuttered stubbornly, "I—I'm more than pretty, th—thanks."

Suddenly: "Miss Snape."

Lockhart's hand still on her face, Lili turned to find Professor McGonagall in the doorway of the classroom. Her Head of House didn't speak for a long moment, simply watching the professor and student with a grim, wary expression.

"I do believe it's time for lunch," McGonagall asked carefully, "Is it not, Miss Snape?"

"Yes, Professor McGonagall..."

Clutching her bag closer to her chest, Lili slipped from Lockhart's touch and hurried towards the door. She hesitated when she reached McGonagall's side, watching up at her wide eyes, realising the stern woman still hadn't looked away from Lockhart. The DADA professor simply smiled.

Lili startled when she saw that Harry was waiting for her further down the hall with a strange expression on his face. Immediately, he looped his arm with hers in a fashion that was quite unlike him. In fact, he barely ever touched her at all — except for when they were in mortal danger, of course. It wasn't like she was in danger now though...

Right?

With a quick glance at her face, Harry led her further and further from the DADA classroom, but not before Lili looked over her shoulder and found that Professor Gilderoy Lockhart was watching her leave.

ϟ

No one would leave Severus alone.

The professor took his afternoon tea and was grading some abysmal essays by the newest First Years. Honestly, were all children (...save one) complete idiots? He had a short gap in his schedule, and he had hidden himself away in the staff room for some time away from dunderheads and their endless questions. Severus just wanted some peace and quiet; that was all. That was it. Obviously, it was not something he could find surrounded by his colleagues.

Without warning, Albus sat himself in a fluffy armchair beside him near the fire, "How is your year progressing so far, Severus?"

"Insufferable as always, Headmaster, thank you for asking."

Albus smiled in what could only be described as amusement, twinkling as always. Severus had the sudden desire to overturn the table. Unfortunately, the Headmaster continued on unfettered.

"And Lilium?"

"The Inspection is coming up next week. Certainly then, you may ask her yourself," Severus responded tartly, not looking up from the newspaper.

"You and I agreed to the Inspections years ago, Severus. Don't tell me you're regretting them now."

'I've regretted them from the start,' he thought bitterly.

In lieu of his silence, Albus continued, "Has she so far mentioned any concerns this term?"

"Concerns," he repeated dryly, if a bit warily.

Albus sighed quietly and took a seat across from him, fixing his robes as he folded one leg over the other. For a while, only the crackling of the nearby fireplace filled their suddenly tense and awkward silence. Severus made a concentrated effort not to shift uneasily, reading and then rereading the same sentence over and over again in his newspaper.

Finally, "Minerva, unfortunately, has a few of her own."

Severus sighed hard, "What did the girl do now?"

"It's nothing Lilium did. In fact, there are concerns on her behalf that I've decided to speak to you."

Now Severus was truly growing uncomfortable. He hated not being in the know, especially when it came to his own child, and that something might be genuinely wrong with her. But Albus seemed content on dragging this out. As if this couldn't get any stranger, the Headmaster Summoned a bottle of firewhisky from a previously unsuspecting side cupboard of the staff room, and poured them each a smoking small measure into their teacups.

"Drinking in the middle of a school day? This is unlike you, Headmaster," Severus spoke dryly to cover his discomfort, "How concerning, indeed."

Albus offered him a tired smile but said nothing. Seeing as how the old man hadn't even asked before mucking with his tea, Severus began to understand just how serious this might be. Cradling the cup, he took large sips of his new drink as the Headmaster stared at him for several long minutes.

"I'm sure you've noticed how our new Defense Against the Dark Arts professor has shown particular interest in our Boy Who Lived."

"Just as I've noticed how Potter relishes in the attention," Severus sneered into his teacup.

"That hardly sounds like Harry, Severus." Ignoring the young man's rolling eyes, the Headmaster went on, "Minerva has made me aware that is not where his interest ends. Unfortunately, it seems he's taken a vested interest in Lilium as well. But Gilderoy's interest in Harry stems from trying to raise his own image. Lilium, however..."

Severus' entire body went rigid at the implication. He could feel his magic rippling through his limbs, muscles spasming painfully beneath the taut, pale skin. He could feel the blood pumping against the backs of his eyes while his teeth ground hard enough to smoke. His knuckles turned white round the fine china of the teacup while he waited for the Headmaster to go on.

"She is neither famous nor infamous, not as of yet, at least not in common circles. So his interest in the girl is a bit more cause for concern..."

Severus slowly leaned closer, eyes blazing in wild threat, "If the b—stard so much as breathes in her direction..."

"I understand, and I completely agree." Albus replied placatingly, "If I suspect this fascination turns unhealthy at any time, I will not keep him employed a second longer."

"It's clearly unhealthy now," he hissed under his breath.

"Severus, I can hardly fire the man with no cause."

'Yes, you could,' he thought but didn't say. Instead, he sneered, "I would kill him. I would chop him up and use him as potions ingredients. I would not hesitate, Albus."

"Nor would I expect you to," Albus replied placatingly, a sad smile on his weathered face, "We will keep a close watch on Gilderoy Lockhart. Else, I should hate to have to keep you out of Azkaban a second time."

Severus scowled.

He wondered if the old man thought he was funny.

annie speaks

ϟ

HAPPY ALMOST NEW YEAR! I CAN'T WAIT TO HEAR YOUR THOUGHTS ON THIS ONE!!

SNEAK PEEK FOR CHAPTER 14:

"A—All right Ginny?"

There. Not too bad. Right?

The younger girl flinched like Lili had slapped her, though. Ginny jerked to attention and then her eyes locked on Lili with the utmost concentration. It was actually rather frightening. Lili stopped just in front of her, one brow arching in a very similar way to her father's.

"Hey. Uhm. Ginny?"

Instead of answering, Ginny suddenly leaned in close to whisper in her ear, "Your godfather says hello."

Lili jerked back with a frown, "What—?"

But the Weasley girl had already hurried away.

AHHH YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS!!! SO FRICKING EXCITED!! see you on wednesday :)