ACT ONE, chapter nine :
i am here now, as you run from me still
run then, child
you can't hide from me forever

ϟ

By spring, Lilium had more or less settled back into routine.

The days were crisp, smelling like fresh apples and water lilies, and the castle itself seemed to shimmer in the golden sunlight, no longer dusted with snow. Classes started up again, and Snape was just as terrible as ever to the students who weren't Slytherins.

She was thrilled to have Hermione, and thus the complete quartet, back. When she was with them, she was not lonely or overly self—aware. She felt upheld by these people. They were all a bunch of misfits, and so she didn't feel odd or uncomfortable in their presence. But, then, when she was on her own, she felt lonely again like something inside of her had been carved out.

Lilium was scared that she was relying on them, and she wasn't so sure she wanted to change it.

The change of seasons meant the arrival of exams, and most often they gathered in the Great Hall to study... or whatever the hell it was Ronald was doing.

And of course Hermione was scolding him, "Look at you playing with your cards. Pathetic! We've got final exams coming up soon."

"I'm ready!" Ronald insisted in annoyance, obviously more interested in his pack of Chocolate Frog cards. "Ask me any question."

"All right." Hermione raised her chin, "What are the three most crucial ingredients in a Forgetfulness Potion?"

"...I forgot."

Lilium snickered, and Potter did too.

"And what, may I ask, do you plan to do if this comes up in the final exam?"

"Copy off you?" Ronald sneered, just to annoy her.

Hermione's entire face was the definition of intense: "No, you won't!"

Lilium huffed, chin on her fist, "Wouldn't matter even if you tried, Ronald. Professor McGonagall says we'll use special quills bewitched with an anti—cheating spell."

"That's insulting!" Ronald cried as Potter shared in his outrage, "It's as if they don't trust us!"

Lilium exchanged a glance with Hermione, tone painfully sarcastic, "I wonder why..."

Ronald stuck out his tongue at her before checking his card and huffing, "Dumbledore again!"

As he tossed the wizard card onto the table, Potter watched it spin with slowly widening eyes. He snatched the card, scanned it, and blurted, "I found him!"

He practically thrust the card at Ronald who curiously took a glance. The girls leaned in for a better look. Apparently, their famous Headmaster was mostly famous for defeating a dark wizard named Grindelwald back in 1945 (ages ago). It was interesting information she guessed, but all Lilium was getting out of it was that Albus Dumbledore was frigging ancient.

With a bit of prompting, Ronald continued reading, "'—For his discovery of the twelve uses of Dragon Blood, and his work on alchemy with his partner Nicolas Flamel'!"

"I knew the name sounded familiar." Potter realised, "I read it on the train that day."

What was it Dumbledore said?

"If you should like to find answers, Lilium, I imagine the library is as good a place as any to start."

The Snape girl eyes suddenly went wide, "I've an idea. Come with me."

The group swiftly tore out of the Great Hall, their black shoes smacking the concrete as they raced towards the library. The library was one of Lilium's favourite places in all of Hogwarts, home to tens of thousands of books, thousands of shelves, hundreds of narrow rows. She could get lost in there, without even really trying. She briefly explained the idea which had Hermione beaming in excitement, following swiftly behind her. But Lilium was beginning to not like this plan very much.

"We could just steal it."

"Not if we don't know where it is," Hermione pointed out.

Lilium was very close to whining, "Why do I have to ask?"

"Because she knows you already."

Oh, she knew her, all right.

Lilium walked up to the librarian's desk as confidently as she could. She was a small girl, could hardly see over the edge of the desk, but she'd known Madam Pince long enough to recognise her. Irma Pince was a severe—looking woman, with a thin voice, and thin hair, and a thin face, like a looming statue, adorned with a resentful expression and a sense of tension round her.

Almost politely, Lilium greeted, "Madam Pince."

Definitely impolitely, Pince replied, "Lilium Snape."

Hermione shot her friend a questioning look.

Pince and Lilium had a long complicated history. At the best of times, Lilium was a thief who stole books and never returned them. And at the very worst, she was a menace who Madam Pince believed belonged in a padded cell in St. Mungo's.

The amount of times Lilium caused chaos in the library, just to annoy Pince, was more than she could count on both hands. It was good practise for her spells too; Piertotum Locomotor to make the books dance, Rictusempra to make all the students start laughing and break the 'quiet rule', Periculum to distract Pince enough to sneak into her office for the newest book shipment. One time Lilium even released a horde of Cornish pixies in the library which wreaked so much havoc that she was able to make off with seven books while the librarian nearly had a mental breakdown.

Of course Lilium had hid behind Snape's legs, buried in his robes, giggling to herself, when Madam Pince finally came to seek revenge.

But she was older now, and much, much wiser.

Chin raised bravely, Lilium said, "We're looking for a book about an alchemist named Nicholas Flamel."

"That's not your usual taste." Her slim eyes narrowed suspiciously.

Curious, Hermione asked, "What's her usual taste?"

"Anything gruesome," Pince replied tightly.

"It's a gruesome world," Lilium announced flatly.

The librarian blinked, seemed annoyed, but went to collect their book all the same. Lilium and Hermione had to share the weight of the massive thing, awkwardly carrying it between them to where Potter and Ronald waited.

"Of course!" Hermione was saying, "I had you lot looking in the wrong section! How could I be so stupid?"

The girls dropped the huge book onto the table with a massive bang, making the boys jump.

Her friend tsked to herself, "I should've known better, Lili, I checked this out a few weeks ago for a bit of light reading."

Ronald made a face, "This is light?"

Hermione shot him a furious glance while Lilium began flipping through the book, pointing at a section, "Yes! Here: 'Nicholas Flamel is the only known maker of the Philosopher's Stone'..."

Together, the boys wondered, "The what?"

And together, the girls rolled their eyes.

"Honestly, don't you two read?" Hermione drawled in annoyance before leaning to read, "'The Philosopher's Stone is a legendary substance with astonishing powers. It will turn any metal into pure gold and produces the Elixir of Life, which will make the drinker immortal.'"

"Immortal?"

Dismissively, Hermione answered, "It means you'll never die."

Ronald snapped, "I know what it means!"

Lilium smirked while Potter shushed them.

The Snape girl decided to carry on, "'The only stone currently in existence belongs to Mister Nicholas Flamel, the noted alchemist, who last year celebrated his 665th birthday...'"

Hermione gasped, eyes widening as she laid practically across the table, "That's what Fluffy's guarding on the third floor. That's what's under the trapdoor... the Philosopher's Stone!"

"So." Potter's eyes began to narrow as he thought, "Flamel knows someone's after the Stone and gives it to Dumbledore to keep safe at Hogwarts, not realizing that the one who's after it—,"

"—Teaches at Hogwarts," Lilium realised, nervously biting into her thumbnail.

To think that any of the people she grew up with, the people that she knew better than anybody, had done any of that... And even worse, that it might very well be...

"So Snape wants piles of gold and to live forever. Who wouldn't?" Ronald shrugged an indifferent shoulder before noticing Lilium's sour look, "Uhm. Sorry?"

The girl huffed, but there was more to her discomfort than Ronald being... Ronald.

Hermione soundly closed the book, reaching to touch her arm, "What is it, Lili?"

"It's just..." Lilium tugged on her right plait, eyes darting between the faces before her, "I—I don't want to... scare... you, Potter. I've just been wondering that if — if — all my father wants is the Philosopher's Stone, then why did he supposedly try to kill you that day on the Quidditch pitch?"

No one had an answer.

As night fell over the castle, the quartet broke curfew. Which seemed like a good idea at the time (it was not). All the same, four scrawny kids could be seen hurried away from the castle. Their black robes flared as they ran down the familiar hill towards Hagrid's hut, which glowed from the inside like it was full of fireflies.

Lilium raised a fist and knocked a familiar beat on the front door.

One short knock, one long knock, two short ones.

This was their secret knock that they'd made ages ago; when Lilium wanted to see fantastic beasts and Hagrid showed her where to find them. The door rattled, opened a crack, and Hagrid peered out — dressed in an apron and the new oven mitts she'd given him for Yuletide. He seemed only mildly relieved to see that it wasn't just Lilium but three other young faces peering eagerly up at him. Lilium slowly squinted up at him, an expert at reading people just like always. Something was wrong...

"Oh, hullo." Hagrid said awkwardly, "Sorry, don't wish t' be rude, but I'm in no fit state to entertain today—,"

And as the door began to swing shut in their faces, they shouted, "We know about the Philosopher's Stone!"

And now he stopped, the door crept open again, and Hagrid carefully peeked back out, "Oh."

Yes, oh.

Hagrid, finally, relented. So, the kids swept inside and made themselves comfortable in his hut. Everything here was oversized, and Lilium knew it almost as well as she knew the Snape flat. She led Hermione to hop up into Hagrid's armchair, nearly swallowed up by the massive thing. Meanwhile, Ronald was being sniffed up by Fang, looking mildly terrified. Hagrid added wood to an already roaring fire, puttering about a large simmering kettle, being more quiet than he'd ever been.

Potter trailed after the half—giant, gravely concerned, "Hagrid, we think Snape's trying to steal it."

"Some of us think Snape's trying to steal it," Lilium countered with a roll of her eyes.

Potter rolled his eyes right on back.

"Snape?" The half—giant was appropriately shocked, "Blimey, 'arry, you're not still on about him, are you?"

"Thank you, Hagrid," Lilium nodded approvingly.

"Hagrid, I know he's after the Stone." Potter insisted, "I just don't know why."

"Snape is one o' the teachers protectin' the Stone! He's not about to steal it!"

Lilium swiveled on Potter, "Told you!"

The boy rolled his eyes at her — yet again, before asking, "What d'you mean?"

"You heard." Hagrid was back to hurrying them out the door, "Right. Come on, now, I'm a bit preoccupied today."

"Wait a minute." Potter cut in, "One of the teachers?"

"Of course!" Hermione said in her usual duh—like tone, "There are other things defending the Stone, aren't there? Spells, enchantments..."

"That's right. Waste of bloody time, if you ask me." Hagrid informed them all too happily, "Ain't no one gonna get past Fluffy. Hehe, not a soul knows how. Except for me and Dumbledore..." His eyes widened and he cringed to himself, "I shouldn't have told you that. I shouldn't have told you that..."

Poor Hagrid. Lilium patted his arm sympathetically.

Just then, the cauldron over the fire began to rattle. Face bright with excitement, their friend shuffled to the fireplace and reached inside to pull out a huge black object. The shiny thing was so hot, it was burning him even through his oven mitts 'til he set it safely on the table. The kids quickly gathered round to peer at it curiously. Lilium resisted the urge to poke it. It was obviously an egg of some kind, but what kind?

"Uh, Hagrid." Potter was just as uncertain, "What exactly is that?"

"That? It's a... it's um..."

"I know what that is!" Ronald interrupted gleefully, all without explaining, "But Hagrid, how did you get one?"

"I won it." He announced proudly, "Off a stranger I met down at a pub. Seemed quite glad to be rid off it, as a matter of fact."

Lilium made a face, "You didn't find that suspicious?"

The half—giant was confused, "Should I?"

Oh, Hagrid.

On the table, the egg shook and rattled and cracked, pieces dropping off 'til a small green creature emerged. He was a bit unsteady, like a newborn doe, trying to find his balance. Lilium found herself almost smiling when he slipped on a scattered egg piece, squeaking indignantly. He had no business being that cute.

"Is that... a dragon?"

"That's not just a dragon!" Ronald gasped, eyes wide with excitement, "That's a Norwegian Ridgeback!"

Lilium was genuinely impressed by his knowledge, and it showed.

Ronald blushed and explained to her, "My brother, Charlie, works with these in Romania."

"Isn't he beautiful?" Hagrid was near tears as the baby dragon waddled towards him, "Oh, bless him, look — he knows his mummy. Hullo, Norbert."

"Norbert?"

"Yea, well, he's got to have a name, doesn't he?" The half—giant turned back to the dragon, scratching sweet under his chin, "Don't you, Norbert?"

Peering up at him, Norbert happily squeaked 'til he suddenly hiccuped and blasted a small fireball directly onto Hagrid's beard. The four kids jumped back in fright. Gasping, Lilium leapt to help him pat out the hot smolders in his beard.

"That's orright, I'm orright," Hagrid assured the girl, "Well... he'll have to be trained up a bit, of course."

The quartet exchanged wary glances.

While Norbert kept spitting up a few more sparks, Hagrid looked past him with a furrowed brow, "Who's that?"

The kids whipped round to see a pale face in the window suddenly noticing their attention, eyes going wide before he swiftly scampered away.

Potter groaned, "Malfoy."

Hagrid frowned very deeply, "Oh, dear."

Oh dear, indeed.

Draco was such a b—stard that they were hauled up in front of McGonagall near instantly. The stern woman stood behind her desk, in her nightgown and cap, looking halfway close to furious. Malfoy — the twit — stood smugly beside them, practically shaking with glee, smirking all the while. Lilium inspected the tops of her shoes, trying to avoid the intensely displayed gaze of the professor.

"Nothing! I repeat — nothing — gives a student the right to walk about the school at night." Professor McGonagall raised her chin, "Therefore, as punishment for your actions, fifty points will be taken."

Lilium groaned while Potter cried, "Fifty?!"

"Each."

Draco nodded oh—so—happily to himself, eyes glimmering, a stupid smug smile on his stupid smug face. Lilium wanted to punch it off. 'I can't right now, but I'll get you back,' she promised him in her mind, 'Don't you worry.' Potter, for his part, simply held his mouth open in horror.

But McGonagall wasn't finished, "And to ensure it doesn't happen again, all five of you will receive detention."

Oooh, Snape was going to skin her alive.

Draco's smug smile vanished in an instant, and he stepped quickly closer, practically oozing fake politeness, "Excuse me, Professor. Perhaps I heard you wrong. I thought you said... 'the five of us'?"

Professor McGonagall wasn't letting him have it, "No, you heard me correctly, Mister Malfoy. You see, as 'honourable' as your intentions were, you too were out of bed after hours. You will serve detention with your classmates."

Oh yea. She was dead, for sure.

ϟ

So. Lilium was dead.

Like, really, super dead.

Snape was furious with her. As if he didn't have enough things to be angry at her about. She'd hoped to keep it a secret from Snape that she'd gotten detention, but no such luck. She'd avoided him as best she could, feeling his burning gaze on the back of her neck in the Great Hall, ignoring his snips during Potions, ducking behind her... friends... when she saw him storming down the corridors. It was terrifying that he'd found out... like, immediately. It was scarily fast how he knew.

She suspected Draco Malfoy, that little cockroach.

The prat just couldn't leave well enough alone.

It was as if he knew he got one hit in, and now he needed to get another. He wanted to kick them while they were down. His last attack had backfired and now he had to make up for it. He kept bothering Neville, taunting Potter, calling Hermione names, and saying all sorts of shite about the Weasley's. Finally, Lilium had enough.

Her voice rang out across the outside corridor: "Leave them alone, Draco."

Neville was almost in tears at being jinxed again, Hermione and Potter trying to help him back to his feet. Everyone stopped to stare as Lilium stepped forward, acting as a shield between them and the Malfoy boy. Potter stared at her like she invented treacle tart or something.

The blond boy cackled, glancing back at his cronies, "There's that stupid Gryffindor bravery."

Bravery or brilliance; a battle she wasn't sure how to win.

"Shut it, Malfoy," Potter said defensively, and for some reason... his defence warmed her.

Draco's pale eyes narrowed, ignoring the Potter boy, "You should be scared of me, Snape."

"She's got nothing to be scared of, Malfoy," Hermione huffed in annoyance, taking her friend's arm, "Ignore him, Lilium."

Lilium tried, she really did, but Draco didn't know how to shut his stupid rich face.

"That's right." He sneered, "You're too stupid to be scared, Snape, surrounded by these Muggles and blood—traitors. If you were from a real wizard family, you wouldn't be laughing."

Ronald fumed and looked fairly ready to launch himself in her defence, "Why I oughta..."

Potter put a hand on Ronald's shoulder while Hermione kept hold of Lilium's arm to guide each other away.

But then Draco said, "You don't deserve to be Professor Snape's daughter."

Lilium froze, as if she'd been struck by Petrificus Totalus or something. Hermione's gentle grip on her arm tightened slightly, but no matter how comforting it was, it couldn't stop Draco's words from ringing in her ears. Tears flooded her eyes, startling her, embarrassing her. But it was too late; Draco knew he had her.

"Father is right — you are a disappointment, to Professor Snape and to the rest of Slytherin." Smugly, Draco was taunting her — his voice all too happy as he hissed, "I guess there's no accounting for bad blood. I bet you're the child of a Mudblood whore, who abandoned you as soon as she dropped you on Professor Snape's doorstep."

Lilium could no longer hear... her friends' voices, or anything round her. Her lashes fluttered shut. Her left hand twitched. The Dark Mark burned. A sick flash of satisfaction flooded her chest. She felt herself separating, like a division of herself, drifting further and further away.

A voice, much like the one of her mother's, whispered:

'Do it.'

Lilium reacted so fast it was as though she'd been waiting to attack: dropping her bag, she snapped her sleeve, and her wand was halfway into the air when she shouted, "Spiculum!"

Swish and flick, you b—stard.

The stinging hex got Draco in the cheek. The blond boy shrieked and managed to throw one back, which she barely blocked with the help of her textbook. Her... friends gasped and tumbled back, likely shouting out for her, but she couldn't hear them anymore. Lilium and Draco went back and forth, each in their first proper duel, though they'd been hexing each other since the time they could talk.

"Colloshoo!"

"Titillando!"

"Exuroflatus!"

"Entomorphis!"

It wasn't enough. It wasn't enough.

Well. Muggle fighting, it is.

Finally, Lilium threw her wand aside and full on tackled Draco. With a yelp, he fell to the ground and dragged her down with him. There was no order, no strategy, no actual method of fighting. They were just two children, close as siblings, rolling and fighting on the floor. His front teeth split her knuckles and his fingers yanked hard at her plait, kicking and shouting and scratching at whatever they could reach.

As always, there was a tight circle crowded around them — school children always loved a good fight. Students all round had come to watch. Some of them had abandoned their schedules and were edging nearer to observe. Some looked apprehensive (like Hermione and Potter), others entertained (like Ronald and Zabinj). There were smiles spread round the onlooking faces, and the calls and cries were filled with such thrill that Lilium was convinced there was nothing else but this.

"Fight, fight, fight!"

Merlin, there was such joy and fear in her, such brilliant violence.

A stray elbow caught her across the nose, and blood instantly broke free, rushing down to her mouth. She tasted blood, and it was sweet — like iron and cherries. It discoloured her lips. It stained her teeth, made her look wild, made her look vicious. Made it look like she'd sunk her teeth into him and took a bite.

Just when it was getting interesting, they were hauled away by the backs of their robes. Draco flailed to get free, but Lilium let it happen, recognising the hand fairly yanking her off the ground and then off her feet. Severus Snape. She was in deep shite. Fighting to suck the air into her lungs, Lilium refused to look at Snape — feeling his fury radiating off him like from a fire. Filch had Draco by his collar, who was shouting and spitting and letting out a stream of mixed swearwords and hexes, but with his wand being ten feet away, nothing happened.

"She attacked me! She's gone crazy! She could've killed me—,"

Lilium rolled her eyes. What a baby.

Snape grasped her arm — hard, and he snarled, "You will be coming with me, Miss Snape."

Yep. Deep, deep shite.

At the sound of Draco's snickers, her father snapped round to hiss, "I'll deal with you later."

That shut Draco up.

Lilium's sinister glee was short—lived.

Snape dragged her by her arm through the castle, and her cheeks flushed in embarrassment at the stares they were receiving. Her legs were much shorter than his, and she was tripping over her feet to keep up, but she had no choice but to let him drag her down. Ignoring the gaping Slytherins, they crossed through his classroom, stalked into his office, and then her father slammed the door behind them.

Snape nearly threw Lilium into a chair, the legs scraping loudly against the concrete. She quickly dug her nails into the seat, trying to maintain her balance and keep from lashing out. He looked angry enough to murder her, using whatever was left to grind into potion ingredients. She didn't care. She was buzzing, humming from the thrill of violence, a bit of madness still clinging to her edges. There was blood on her — the blood of vengeance — and it had the ability to both frighten and excite.

Already fetching potions and casting healing spells over her, Snape still found himself the time to snarl, "You do not — ever — hex your peers without proper provocation."

Despite herself, her brow briefly flicked in confusion, and he huffed harshly through his nose.

Impatiently, he explained, "It would mean Draco acting or saying something that is intended to make someone angry — namely, you."

"Oh... Well, in that case, I had provocation! He deserved it!" Lilium shouted back, louder than she'd ever been, "Why did you teach me those things if you didn't want me to use them?!"

Snape seethed, "I did not teach you those things so that you may attack your peers."

"Me attack him?! You don't even know what he did, Sev! You don't even care! Of course you'd take his side! You'd take a Slytherin's side over mine any day! So fine! Go on! Take more points from Gryffindor and see if I care! I am done caring!"

Her father's face turned steely, his eyes glinting like dangerous blades. He spit the warning through bared teeth: "Lilium..."

"What?! Draco bloody Malfoy can say whatever the hell he wants, and I just have to stand there and take it?!"

His glinting eyes narrowed dangerously now, "And what, pray tell, did he say that deserved such an imbecilic response?"

The wind was stole from her sails. She slunk down in her seat, tongue suddenly like sandpaper, weighing a thousand pounds so she wouldn't even begin to imagine saying a word.

"He... I—,"

I'm a disappointment. You're ashamed of me. My mum was a whore.

How could she say any of those things?

Snape's brow was arching higher and higher, but Lilium knew she wouldn't be able to respond — no matter how irritated he grew. She couldn't explain, couldn't repeat any of it. She was afraid to say it, worried he might confirm it, maybe not even with words but a twitch in expression, a look in his eye.

Finally, she settled on a murmur, "It was a fair fight, and I'm not sorry."

He rolled his eyes, impatience still present, "But it wasn't a fair fight, was it, girl? You are far stronger than he is."

The question broke free of her: "Is that why Dumbledore thinks I'm a threat to Harry Potter?"

Snape's eyes darted sharply back back to her face, the intensity making her skin burn.

Lilium Snape was sullen and self—conscious in a way she could tell most children were not. Her desires were dark and furious. Her thoughts were too violent and manic. She was wormy inside, as if she'd caught whatever diseases or larvae were passed through the potions in their flat. She felt this quality deep within herself, and she was sure it must show when people so much as glanced at her.

Clearly, Dumbledore saw it. So did Snape. Who knew who else?

Suddenly Lilium's bottom lip was trembling and tears were streaming down her cheeks.

Snape looked taken aback, properly shocked — and this time it did not please her.

It was all too much, she couldn't do it anymore. Feeling Snape's disappointment, trying to hate Potter, resisting the urge to make friends, fighting with Draco, trying to find her mother, wondering about the Philosopher's Stone...

Lilium's chest heaved with her sobs and her shoulders jerked with every shaky breath. Her small hands went to her face to hide her shame, crying so hard that she thought she might vomit, desperately trying to stop this.

There were rapid footsteps, and then Snape placed himself stiffly on the chair beside hers. After a moment, he took her wrists and gently pulled her hands away from her face, his rough calloused fingers wiping it of tears. A heavy arm wrapped round her shoulders and she fell into his side, burying her face into the crook between his arm and his ribcage. He did not move, straight and firm against her, but it was enough.

Please don't be evil... Please don't be evil... She knew that none of her friends trusted him, but she wanted to trust Sev. She needed to trust him. Who else could she trust if not her own father?

Lilium's sobs grew so forceful that Snape gently raised a hand to smooth over her hair, his warmth making a home inside her frigid chest. She curled her fingers into the black cloth of his waistcoat and let herself take comfort in him — in the little comfort he was capable of providing. She needed it. She needed him. Pathetically. 

"I'm sorry... so sorry..."

Snape said nothing, his hand travelling to her trembling shoulders, ignoring the fact that her tears were soaking his robes.

"Something's wrong with me." It was the dreams...

His other hand rose to press against the side of her head, holding her closer, holding her more securely.

"What's going to happen to me?"

Snape gripped Lilium a bit tighter, spasming when his fingers pressed tighter into her shoulders, as if he was trying to crush her into himself. It hurt a little, but she wouldn't dare say that. If anything, she leaned a bit more into him — desperately trying to seek as much comfort as she could. There was a long, terrible pause, and she knew he was contemplating, trying to figure out an answer that wouldn't terrify her, or how to reveal anything he wasn't ready to let be known.

Then, "You'll have detention."

Snape's tone was so dry, so flat, it would be impossible for anyone else to realise he was teasing in his own strange way of trying to make her feel better. She smirked half—heartedly and snuffed hard, wiping her tears on his waistcoat mercilessly. Instead of pushing her away in disgust, he just held her a bit closer.

With a huff, she mumbled against his shoulder, "Figures."

"Don't give me that," Snape scolded, seemingly debating with himself before he added lowly, "And ten points to Gryffindor for an extensive knowledge of hexes more suited to a Third Year, as well as resisting the urge to end the life of one of your classmates — no matter how much provocation you might have had."

Lilium quickly pulled away to gape up at him, eyes shocked and lips slightly parted. He... gave points to Gryffindor? He had never done that... ever, since he started his tenure at Hogwarts. Frankly, he seemed just as shocked at this turn of events as she was.

As an afterthought, Snape snapped, "Don't you dare speak a word of this to anyone."

"I won't, Sev."

"Or I will make you regret it."

"I know, Sev."

"I'll take fifty points quicker than you can say 'I'm sorry, Sev', I swear I will."

"Yes, Sev."

"Good." Snape nodded a bit tightly, leaning back in the chair with his arm still tucked round her shoulders, "And don't say I never gave you anything, Lilium."

"No, Sev," she assured softly before resting her dizzy head upon his shoulder and trying to forget the world.

ϟ

Lilium already wasn't in a brill mood.

Her life was a tragedy now she had two detentions — the first for breaking curfew, the second for beating Malfoy's arse. She wasn't entirely sorry about either of these things, especially the second, but she supposed people couldn't just go round, unpunished, after they'd beaten up a stuck—up arsehole like Draco Malfoy. Unfortunately.

What was even worse was that Gryffindor had slipped to last place, and word had spread that it was more or less the quartet's fault. Lilium wasn't one much for competition, but she really would've liked to see Slytherin lose the House Cup. Nearly everyone had turned on them — Gryffindors, Ravenclaws, and Hufflepuffs. Lilium didn't care for popularity, which is fortunate because they'd basically become Undesirables Number 1—4. It was affecting Potter much worse, though.

Lilium almost felt bad...

Potter and Ronald were late to breakfast, as usual, so it was just Lilium and Hermione filling themselves with eggs, sausage, and tomato. They were deep into a discussion 'bout their upcoming History of Magic exam, when the Weasley twins passed by. From the looks on their near identical faces, Lilium knew they were in for it.

"Hullo ladies." Fred Weasley grinned, "Don't you seem popular?"

"Yea." George Weasley agreed, sarcasm clear, "Everyone seems to love you right now."

"As long as we're still loved by you," Lilium replied in her driest tone.

"Oh, always, little Snape." Fred ruffled her hair, terribly kindly, "Don't worry! This'll all blow over soon."

"Yea. It may take a year or two, but eventually people will start talking to you again," George assured.

The trouble twins gave happy waves and continued on their merry way.

"That was cheerful," Lilium mumbled, rolling her eyes back to her friend.

Hermione sniffed defensively, "Well, I for one, see nothing wrong with a reduced social life. It'll give us more time to revise for final exams."

Lilium found herself smiling a bit. Typical Hermione.

Still, she sighed lightly, "My only regret is that Slytherin's now a lock for the House Cup — even with Draco losing points. And look, he knows it."

Nearly simultaneously, the two girls leaned opposite directions to get a better look at Draco across the Hall. As if he knew they'd be looking, he raised a goblet in their direction and cackled with his two ejit bodyguards — Crabbe and Goyle.

"Bloody smiley b—stard," Lilium grumbled and stabbed harder at her eggs.

"He won't be smiling tonight," Hermione only frowned deeper at Lilium's confusion. "Haven't you heard, Lili? For detention, they're taking us into the Dark Forest."

Sh—t.

ϟ

Beneath a night sky, Filch and his lantern led their dejected group towards the Forbidden Forest. The moon was big and round, but the darkness still hung heavy — so heavy that the rocky steps were nearly impossible to see. Draco was giving Lilium a wide berth, clearly a little frightened of her after the whole Beating His Arse incident.

As he should.

It was almost enough to light her dark mood.

"A pity they let the old punishments die." Annoyingly, Filch was lamenting, "There was a time detention would find you hanging by your thumbs in the dungeons. God, I miss the screaming."

"Mister Filch?" Lilium's voice was light, almost casual, "You have serious problems."

He growled at her. She didn't mind.

Potter chuckled under his breath.

They continued on towards Hagrid's hut, with him they'd be spending their detention. Maybe, since their detention was with him, it wouldn't be so bad! A girl could dream. When they finally worked their way down the hill, they found Hagrid already waiting with a crossbow, Fang at his side.

"A sorry lot this, Hagrid!" Filch called out, "I pity you."

Personally, Lilium pitied Hagrid, who was clearly fighting tears by the time they arrived. Since they'd been found out, apparently Hagrid had been found out, too, and now Norbert was off to a dragon colony in Romania. Of course the half—giant fretted over his baby dragon, even from a distance, like a mother hen or some such thing. Maybe the comparison was wrong, Lilium wouldn't know any better.

After all, she had no experience with mothers.

Hagrid sniffled, "He's only a baby, after all."

"A baby that breathes fire," Ronald muttered under his breath.

Lilium swiftly elbowed him, silencing him with a grunt.

Filch was less than understanding. He squinted at the tears running down Hagrid's face, snapping cruelly, "Oh, for God's sake, pull yourself together, man! You're going into the Forest, after all. Got to have your wits about you..."

Lilium and Hermione exchanged a miserable look.

"The Forest?" Draco cried in understandable outrage. "I thought that was a joke! We can't go in there. Students aren't allowed. And there are..." Somewhere in the dark distance, some creature howled, making them all jump. "Werewolves!"

Filch's eyes practically gleamed with vicious thrill, "There's more than werewolves in those trees, lad. You can be sure of that. Nighty—night."

With a cruelly cheery smile, he and his swinging lantern turned back for the castle.

"Git," Lilium mumbled at his back.

Potter nodded in agreement.

"Right. Let's go."

They went. Following after Hagrid, they stepped into the darkness of the Forest and travelled down a rocky path nearly invisible with the long arching shadows of the trees. The Forest was black and silent. The daughter of the potions master wasn't too frightened, at least not yet. Snape would occasionally take her to the edge of the Forbidden Forest to collect herbs and what not for his potions. Though... she'd never gone without him before.

Ronald leaned close to her, whispering, "How bad do you think it'll be?"

"Just bad enough to give us a lifetime of nightmares," Lilium whispered back.

"Aren't you a cheery one?" He grumbled, "Well, it was nice knowin' you."

Gravely and sincerely, the pair of... friends... shook hands, and then walked on into the dark.

She followed Hagrid along with the others 'til the half—giant turned to her, speaking low, "Sorry abou' this, Lils. Know it's me that deserves punishin', not you and yer friends."

"But we're not—," she cut herself off with a soft sigh.

Were they friends now? Hermione was her friend, she thought, probably. But Ronald and Potter? They did hang round quite a lot, and she did... sort of... kind of... like it? It was confusing. She wasn't sure anymore. When she glanced back, she saw Potter eyeing her curiously. It made her skin itch. She quickly looked away.

Hagrid continued like he hadn't heard her hesitation, "By all rights, I should be sittin' in a cell in Azkaban tonight."

"That's not true, Hagrid." She assured him, plaits bouncing when she shook her head, "Besides, it's not your fault we were out after hours. If we hadn't come knockin' on your door in the middle of the night—,"

Lilium, as always, was painfully clumsy.

Suddenly she tripped and ended up on her hands and knees in a puddle. Ignoring Draco's laugh and the concerned questions of the others, Lilium realized this was not just any puddle, though — it was made of shimmering silver liquid. When Hagrid helpfully dug a great big hand into her robes to pull her up, her hands were smeared in it.

Potter leaned in for a closer look while he swallowed hard, "Hagrid...? What is... this?"

"What we're here for." Hagrid dug into his pockets for a large rag to wipe her hands off. "That's unicorn's blood, that is. I found one dead a few weeks ago. Now, this one's been hurt bad by somethin'."

"Poor unicorn," Hermione murmured softly.

"Too right, Hermione. Now it's our job to find the poor beast."

Lilium made a face as she scrubbed roughly at her hands. The rag wasn't working; the silvery blood had seeped into her pores and left a sticky stain. Fantastic. She peeked over at Ronald, smirked giddily, and then proceeded to wipe her few—fingered hand all across his robe. The redhead playfully slapped her hand away with a yelp that made her giggle.

But the mood was totally killed when Hagrid split them into groups.

"Ron, Hermione, you'll come with me." He decided, "And 'arry and Lils, you'll go with Malfoy."

"What?" Lilium couldn't help but exclaim while Draco grimaced, pondering for a moment, "Okay... Then I get Fang!"

"Fine." Hagrid groused, "Just so you know, he's a bloody coward."

As if to prove this fact, Fang let out a low whine.

Lilium scratched him behind the ears, muttering assurances to the big old dog. He was a coward, no doubt, but he was a mighty adorable one. That made all the difference. She regretted separating from Hermione, but they didn't have much of a choice — the girls just waved solemnly as they went their different ways. Now on their own with Fang, Lilium kept at least a metre between her and the boys while they walked deeper into the forest.

Behind her, Potter asked, "All right, Lilium?"

Why was he asking? What did he want? She didn't understand his intentions and so she chose not to respond. She quickened her pace, eager to be away from both of them.

Potter huffed and jogged to keep up with her, "Lilium, listen. Malfoy's a right git, and if we see something scary out here, he'll leave us on our own. I wouldn't leave you, though. Would you... leave me?"

Her neck hurt from how quickly she snapped to look at him. He did not seem to be necessarily a trusting person, and neither was she — but this was his olive branch. His green eyes were so bright and warm, that she could find nothing malicious within them. His kindness hurt — sharp, like a curse, against her chest. Without her mistrust, and her coldness, she felt emptied out.

What did she have if not those things?

Still, "No, Potter. I won't leave you."

"Good, then. One more thing?"

Lilium eyed him suspiciously.

"While we're out here on our own, d'you think you could stop looking at me like you wanna poison me all the time? Could that be managed?"

A vicious little smirk stole over Lilium's face. "I'll consider it."

Potter smirked back.

"You wait 'til my father hears about this!" Draco complained like a b—stard, holding the lantern high from somewhere behind them, "This is servant's stuff!"

Eyes rolling, Potter sassed over his shoulder, "If I didn't know better, Draco, I'd say you were scared."

"Scared, Potter?!" He scoffed but then jumped when something howled in the distance, "Did you hear that?"

"Yea, it sounded like you being scared," Lilium replied snidely.

He sneered back, "The only ones who should be scared are filthy Half—Bloods like you, Snape."

Lilium stuck her tongue out at him, hand twitching to curse him with something deliciously devious. She really shouldn't though; she had two detentions 'cause of him already. It wouldn't do to add a third. Besides, she didn't want to give him the satisfaction — Draco or Snape. 

The high road bloody sucked.

All she could do was lift her chin and keep walking, careful as the flat path turned to gnarly roots that threatened a broken ankle and no mistake. Just ahead of them, Fang padded to a stop and then growled at something she couldn't see. Instinctively, her hand shot to the wand hidden in her black sleeve, eyes scouring the darkness. 

Potter seemed to sense the dog's fear, whispering, "What is it, Fang?"

And suddenly Lilium grasped tightly round Potter's wrist.

Because, just up ahead, there was a terrifying cloaked creature, crouching over a dead unicorn, its white teeth sunk into its flesh. Drinking its blood. At the smell of their fear, the creature lifted its dark head — silver dripping from its mouth. Lilium went rigid, the burning in her arm making her unable to use her wand, while Potter gasped, grasping at his throbbing scar. Suddenly Draco screamed in pure terror, turned round, and sprinted off into the trees with Fang, leaving them at the mercy of the figure.

In the distance, she heard him screaming, "Run, Lilium! Ditch Potter and run!"

But she couldn't move.

The figure pushed itself up from where it'd been feasting on the unicorn.

And then, as if floating on air, it began to advance towards them.

Lilium held her breath when the cloaked figure took a step toward her. She was afraid of it. She had never been so afraid of anyone or anything before, and it wasn't because of the darkness round them. He had an aura of fury about him, of something keen and biting and—

Brilliance over bravery, Lilium.

The girl ran.

Potter rushed after, woozy with pain, staggering backward 'til he tripped over a raised root.

"Lili!"

At the sound of her nickname, the girl's head whipped back round. She was already five steps ahead, at a momentarily safe distance, looking when he panickedly started to scramble backwards from the rapidly approaching figure. Lilium hesitated. She was tempted to leave him, abandon him to the figure, save her own self, but... she made a promise.

D—mn it.

Lilium ran back. She tugged roughly on his robes, nearly choking him as she hauled him up.

"Run, Potter! Just run!" 

For balance, his arms fell round her shoulders and they tried to flee together — only for him to accidentally bump into her and her foot to land in a hole between roots, twisting awfully. The girl fell and shrieked in pain, struggling to get free, feeling Potter desperately trying to loosen her ankle.

He didn't leave her.

They were trapped.

The figure kept coming.

It was up to her to save them now.

Lilium whipped out her wand, raised it high, and shouted, "Flipendo!"

The creature was knocked back, surprised by the strength of her spell, only to growl and charge forward once more. But then, the sound of hooves pummeled the path behind, and suddenly a centaur leapt gracefully over their heads, rearing near the cloaked creature in obvious threat. The creature retreated instantly, flying away in the blink of an eye.

Lilium and Potter just gaped.

Ahead, the centaur turned back to look at them, ignoring how they gazed up at him in awe. In a voice as smooth as a stone, he said, "Harry Potter and Lilium Snape, you must leave."

The girl recognised him, sort of, from Hagrid's tales, and she limped up onto her bad foot. "You're... You're Firenze, aren't you?"

The centaur inclined his head kindly, "I am known to you, just as you are known to many creatures here. The Forest is not safe at this time. Especially for you two."

The girl cocked her dark head, eyes narrowing, "For us, especially? Why us, especially?"

Firenze didn't seem to want to answer that.

With a frown that matched hers, Potter added, "What was that thing you saved me from?"

"A monstrous creature. It is a terrible crime to slay a unicorn. Drinking the blood of a unicorn will keep you alive even if you are an inch from death. But at a terrible price. You have slain something so pure that the moment the blood touches your lips, you will have a half—life. A cursed life."

"But who would choose such a life?"

"Can neither of you think of anyone?"

Potter realised at the same time she did, "Do you mean to say... that thing that killed the unicorn... that was drinking its blood... that was Voldemort?"

"Don't say his name," Lilium whispered insistently.

Potter tightened his grip on her hand like... like... he was reassuring her or something.

Firenze continued, "Do you know what is hidden in the school at this very moment?"

Together, the kids whispered, "The Philosopher's Stone."

From over the ridge came a loud bark. Lilium jumped so violently that she bumped into Potter, hissing at the vicious pain in her ankle. It was Fang, barking nervously beside Hagrid, Hermione, Ronald, and Draco too, as they burst into the clearing.

"Lils! 'arry!"

"Hullo there, Firenze." Hagrid had his crossbow at the ready but quickly lowered it when he took a good look at the scene, "I see you've met our young friends, Mister Potter and Miss Snape. You two all right there?"

Lilium felt anything but all right, but she swiftly nodded just the same.

Potter — the traitor — spoke up immediately, "She's hurt her ankle."

She shot him an angry glance which he happily ignored. B—stard.

"Best 'ave that looked at then, eh?" Hagrid frowned, trampling closer.

Firenze nodded sternly down at the pair of kids, "Harry and Lilium, this is where I leave you. You're safe now. Good luck."

He left without answering questions or saying another word more.

Lilium couldn't tear her eyes from the dead unicorn, silver blood creeping closer and closer to the edges of her boots. She didn't say anything, didn't even look away when Hagrid scooped her like she weighed lighter than a feather. Maybe to him, she did.

Under the light of the silvery moon — the same shade of unicorn's blood, Hagrid carried her back to the castle. What looked like a black shadow waited beneath the entrance arch, dark and scowling and totally menacing:

Severus Snape.

As soon as they were close enough, Snape fairly yanked her out of Hagrid's arms, sent the other students a scathing look, and swirled them away. She peeked over his dark shoulder, watching a very concerned—looking Potter grow small in the distance.

Snape delivered her to the Hospital Wing.

She'd scraged up her knees during the fall, not to mention her palms when trying to pull loose the roots. She also happened to break her ankle. Oops. It wasn't a surprise, of course, not to Lilium. She'd always been thin and brittle—boned, which meant breaks were likelier. At eleven, she'd already broken her wrist twice — the first time when she tripped down one of the moving staircases and the second time when she fell off a stool in the Potions classroom, and her foot once when she fell down the hill to Hagrid's hut. Being clumsy was dangerous in a place like Hogwarts.

That being said, she was very used to Madam Pomfrey's stern treatment.

Snape watched it all with scowl. Lilium squirmed under his attention no matter how many times Madam Pomfrey ordered her to sit still. It really wasn't so bad. She'd had worse. She tried to tell her father that, but the look he gave her was enough to make her shut up 'til she graduated.

And that was saying something.

The healing was more or less easy. The mediwitch waved her wand with a simple 'Brackium Emendo' and the pain in her ankle disappeared. The salves for her other scrapes and bruises would take a bit more time. It wasn't very pleasant, and it stung like the devil, but it wasn't so bad either. The silvery blood was washed away with actual soap, and her plaits had mostly fallen out, messy hair clinging round her flushed cheeks

She bit her lip, "Do you think that could count as two detentions?"

He rolled his eyes at her, unimpressed and clearly not at all in the mood for her wit.

Snape was pacing back and forth before her hospital cot, but there wasn't much space to go so it was a flurry of dark, short motion. It was sort of dizzying. He was radiating fury, she could nearly feel the heat of his anger all the way over here. A bloodstain was smeared across his face. It trailed off down his throat to his dark collar. She must've left it there when he carried her in. The contrast made his skin look even paler than usual.

Finally, once Madam Pomfrey had given them privacy behind a curtain, he turned on her with blazing black eyes.

"Did they hurt you?"

Lilium's nose scrunched, "What?"

"Potter. Weasley. Granger."

The girl stared at her father blankly, unable to process what he was saying. The words refused to process, could not compute. Her mouth opened and closed a few times, and she felt much like a fish out of water. She always felt so bad for those fish.

Snape's arms crossed tightly over his chest while he loomed closer, "Did they attack you? Trick you? Gang up on you?"

"No..." She whispered, voice still soft and confused, "No, Sev, never."

"Are you sure?"

"Yea—,"

"Don't lie to me, Lilium."

"I'm not!"

Snape eyed her for a long moment, like maybe he didn't believe her, before his shoulders sagged slightly and he rather dramatically dropped himself onto a chair at her bedside. He raised a hand to roughly massage his brow, his Adam's apple bobbing while he swallowed hard, the rapid heaving of his chest finally slowing. They sat in silence for what felt like a long time but could only be a few minutes.

Finally, Lilium whispered, "Why would you think that—?"

"Doesn't matter."

Something about his tone told her that it mattered very much, but he wasn't about to tell her why.

"I'm sorry... that I worried you."

Her father suddenly looked exhausted, the wrinkles on his face seeming too deep for someone who was only thirty—two. He didn't respond, but the look in his eyes said all that she needed to know.

"I... I saw something — someone — in the woods. That's why I was running." His expression was dark, but she could tell he was listening. She swallowed hard, looking at the healing scratches on her palms when she continued, "We think it was Vol—,"

His entire body seemed to flinch, "Don't say that name."

She flinched too, startled by his reaction. Then, after a moment, she sucked in her lips and started to whisper, "We think it was the Dark Lord. He was drinking unicorn blood round Hogwarts... Is he after the Philosopher's Stone?"

His eyes snapped back to hers, "What do you know of his desire for the Stone?"

"So he is after the Stone." Her own eyes were narrowed thoughtfully. "Why do you think Vol—," He tensed again, and she quickly corrected, "Why do you think the Dark Lord wants it?"

Snape didn't answer her, and she immediately knew he wouldn't. Her father wouldn't outright lie to her, but he most certainly would refuse to tell her things. Wasn't that just a lie of another kind? A lie by omission, or something like that? In any case, she wasn't going to get anything else out of him. She changed direction, voice so quiet that it could barely be considered a whisper.

"D'you think the Sorting Hat is ever wrong?"

Tiredly, "What?"

It took a lot from her to be able to confess: "Tonight, I was scared. Really scared. I'm supposed to be brave and daring and... I dunno. Maybe I shouldn't be in Gryffindor."

Snape rose a brow, didn't say anything though — not for a long time. Then, "Let me see your wand."

"Beg your pardon?"

He extended his hand, face impassive, refusing to explain. Typical. With a sigh, she followed instructions. He tilted his own wand towards hers, the tips meeting, ebony against yew.

"Prior Incantato."

Lilium squinted when the blue light of her most recent spell spilled from where the two wands met. Much fainter than when she actually cast it, yes, but it still hurt to look at. After a murmured 'Deletrius', the spell light vanished in a wisp of smoke. She had to blink a few times to adjust back to the light of the Hospital Wing.

"The Knockback Jinx," he hummed, appraising her.

She swallowed, tugging on the loose ends of her hair, "I had to protect us..."

She stayed looking at her lap while he stayed watching her.

"Sounds rather... brave... to me." Her eyes went wide but before she could say anything, figure out if this was a compliment, he sneered, "You have... visitors."

The curtain was ripped back, and Lilium squinted at the sight of Potter, Hermione, and Ronald standing nervously on the other side. They gave her father a wide berth when Snape spun away, shooting them all a glare that could kill. It was a miracle they were still standing by the time he left the Hospital Wing.

A sharp pang of longing stirred in her chest, and she was sad to watch him disappear.

But only once her father was out of sight did Ronald swiftly slide the curtain shut. Hermione resolutely planted herself on Lilium's cot while Potter stood at her bedside. Suddenly she was surrounded, and she didn't even mind.

Which was... odd.

"I've — we've all — been so worried." Hermione took her hand, brown eyes big with concern, "Are you all right, Lili?"

"Yea. Ankle's fixed, and my cuts are healing. Not bad." She shrugged, peeking at the boy beside her, "How 'bout you, Potter?"

"Yea. All right."

For some reason, when Potter smiled at her, Lilium's heart... skipped a beat. She didn't like that. She didn't like that at all. Mercifully, Ronald distracted them with a mildly horrified look.

"Snape didn't kill you, did he?"

"Still sitting here, aren't I?"

Ronald shuddered. Lilium rolled her eyes.

"Harry told us that it was..." Hermione suspiciously glanced round and lowered her voice, "You Know Who... out there, in the Forest?"

"Yea. I think it was." Lilium murmured thoughtfully, "But if he's living off unicorn blood, he's weak."

"Lili, don't you see?" Potter was suddenly insistent, "We had it wrong! Snape doesn't want the Stone for himself; he wants the Stone for Voldemort."

"Potter... he's my father, he—he wouldn't—,"

Hermione cut in gently, touching her hand, "We know he's your dad, Lilium, and we know you trust him, but..." Her warm eyes darted to the boys questioningly, realising now that she started she didn't know how to finish.

Potter nodded, gaze levelled on the Snape girl, "You've got to admit there's something shifty about him."

Lilium did have to admit that... but she didn't want to. She kept her lips firmly pressed shut.

"In any case." Potter clearly saw the need to move on, voice grim as ever, "With the Elixir of Life, Voldemort will be strong again. He'll... he'll come back."

"If he comes back," Ronald's eyes danced nervously, "You don't think he'll try to, you know... kill you, do you?"

Potter frowned, "I think if he'd had the chance, he might've tried to kill us tonight."

"No," she countered, "You."

"No," he insisted, "Us."

Looking vaguely sick, Ronald gulped, "And to think I've been worrying about my Potions final..."

"As you should be," Lilium smirked.

Completely offended, he smacked her arm.

"Ron," Potter frowned, "She's hurt."

Ronald grumbled playfully, "She's fine enough to be making fun of me."

Lilium giggled again.

"Hang on a minute." Hermione interrupted them each, brow furrowed low in concentration, "No, we're forgetting something. Who's the one wizard Voldemort always feared? Dumbledore. As long as Dumbledore's around, Harry and Lili are safe. As long as Dumbledore's around..." She looked at them, smiling certainly, "Neither of you can be touched."

Lilium wished she had Hermione's confidence.

ϟ

Severus glared at his reflection.

His knuckles turned white while he gripped onto the edges of the sink, shoulders rising and falling rapidly while he fought to control himself. In his reflection, Snape's pressed lips were shaking, his face was white, his teeth were gritted.

Severus knew he would have to speak with Dumbledore about whatever it was the students saw, but for now... no amount of Occlumency shields could block out the feelings raging inside of him.

He had long since hated what he saw in the mirror, since he was a boy, long before he even met Lily. He knew he was not a handsome man, and he knew what was inside was even worse. He was wretched, foul and dark. He was a man filled to the brim with hate that there was nothing good in him. He deserved to be a father to no one. It didn't matter how much he loved the girl... Because he did love her, even if he was almost incapable of saying it. And for this reason, he did not deserve Lilium and he never would.

Lilium had been hurt, afraid of someone dark in the woods, and he had snapped at her from his own insecurities. He let his concern twist into anger, as he did time and again. Because he had lived in terror that someone would tease her relentlessly or hang her upside down from a tree or trick her into going somewhere dangerous...

He knew Dumbledore wouldn't let such behaviour go unpunished, not anymore, not as he had before (many, many times), not when the risks were so high. The Marauders might've gotten away with whatever the hell they'd wanted, but now Albus Dumbledore couldn't risk Lilium Snape seeking dark power as her bullied father had.

Harry Potter... just like his father. The way he looked, the way he behaved, the way he thought he was above any and all reproach. As for Lilium, well... Severus did not often allow himself to think of the ways in which they were similar. Poor girl.

Lilium had said those blasted Gryffindors hadn't hurt her, and he didn't have to be an expert Legilimens to know that she wasn't lying to him.

And yet...

Fear and fury; that was what he felt. He felt himself quaking with even the thought of anyone treating his child the way he'd been treated. He'd been... humiliated time and again. It had started early, almost immediately, on the train ride to Hogwarts when Potter and Black mocked him for his choice of Slytherin. And from there...

"What're you going to do, Snivelly, wipe your nose on us?"

"It's more the fact that he exists, if you know what I mean..."

"Snivellus Greasy, Snivellus Greasy!"

"Who wants to see me take off Snivelly's pants?"

Severus could still taste the soap in his mouth, James Potter's voice shouting the word 'Scourgify' ringing in his ears. He could imagine the pink soap bubbles covering his lips, making him gag, choking him. He suddenly gasped for air, pulling himself from the memory, yanking hard on his impossibly tight collar.

As the button ripped free, Severus could finally breathe again.

Snape and Potter, a generation later, and enemies once again — even if they didn't know it yet. He knew that they would be pitted against each other from the moment they were born. It was their purpose. It was d—mn prophecy. He... hadn't expected it to be like this, or this soon. He just hadn't expected her to be broken. Bleeding. In a hospital bed, terrified like he'd been. He had armoured her with hard edges and firm shields, and he thought this might protect her.

Instead...

In a final burst of rage, Severus' magic thrust forward, blinding pain flashed through him, and then the mirror split, cracking where his reflection glared back. Accidental magic. It wasn't the first time these sorts of things happened when he was angry. Still, it was a pain.

In this mangled vision of him, he finally saw what he truly was inside.

Past midnight, Severus found himself back in the Hospital Wing where Poppy had his daughter sleeping tonight. He stopped at the last cot in the long line where Lilium lay, hair frizzy and blanket up to her nose as usual. Her ink black lashes were spread like fans against her pale freckled cheeks, and her chest rose and fell in a slow even rhythm. Severus' fingers lightly brushed through the thick curtain of black hair that covered her face, that always covered her face, like she was trying to hide it. Her bottom lip was puckered, and his thumb lightly smoothed over the wrinkle in her brow, erasing it from existence.

Severus placed himself at her bedside, a guard dog to defend her during the night, a strong tower to watch over her while she slept. He wouldn't let anyone bother her. No one would f—cking touch her.

And if he taught her a few (more dangerous) variations of the Knockback Jinx, Severus didn't think Lilium would mind.

annie speaks

ϟ

THIS IS ONE OF MY FAVORITES, AND NEXT CHAPTER IS ONE OF MY FAVS TOO AND AHHH! i feel like we're finally in the meat of the story, and that makes me very happy. i'm just glad you guys all stuck with me until we reached this spot, i love and appreciate all of you. 

we had the big fight between lili and draco this chapter which was fun (for us, not for draco), and severus and lili are really struggling to get through their issues. will lili finally let loose on severus? yes, she will, and soon... so soon... oh, harry and lili are cuties, and they're destined for misery and i love them. sigh. also, i was so happy to finally introduce the weasley twins as they become very important to our dear lili as the story continues! they're good friends and they wreak all sorts of havoc together, it's amazing. she's their potioneer and they're her dealer, it's wonderful. 

ANYWAY. tell me your thoughts; i'm dying to hear them! see you sunday! xx

ANOTHER SIDE NOTE: now that i'm almost done writing this story, i may or may working on a draco malfoy fic... i can talk about it more next chapter if y'all want! let me know :) 

now, for the thingamabob:

it's true and someone had to say it.