what started as holding a razor to my skin
became holding myself hostage from within

so i wasn't bleeding but i was dying
i stop drinking, eating, and sleeping
and if i did eat or drink something

it wasn't anything i liked
it was things that i disliked
things that burned or hurt
things that shoved me down into the dirt
they spit in my face
and showed me i was out of place

but i deserve it
the discomfort and pain
the crying in vain
i don't deserve nice things
i don't deserve to enjoy the things i eat

but there is time to change
the mindframe
it's just a self destruct
it's time to build yourself back up

you deserve to heal
you deserve to feel
you deserve to love
you deserve the best things i can think of
you deserve to be whole
so set a goal
and be a go getter
help yourself get better