Fixing the rear view mirror, I took a look at Avari in the backseat, her eyes taking in the house we were sat outside.

"Mommy..." She trailed off.

"I know. Any bad vibes and we are our baby girl."

She gave me a short nod and placed Peanut across her lap waiting to be let out the car.

Opening up my car door, I closed it before going to Avari's side. This morning I had received a phone call, and from the late guest last night, I was still groggy. But Zak however wasn't as he left at 4am, and called me at 8am.

I told him I hated him as much as I could as he planned the day for me with my face still mashed into the pillow. His hoodie was sat on the chair opposite my bed longing to be picked up and smelt again.

Little did he know, I had taken a top or two of his when I left his house the last time.... Don't judge.

Helping Avari out, she stood beside me and watched as Zak opened the door with a big smile. "Hey pumpkin!" He grinned.

Avari gave a wide smile ready to run over when a manicured talon nailed hand wrapped over his shoulder and Jessica Rab- I mean Holly appeared.

"Nope." Avari spoke turning to face the car expecting me to open the door.

I looked from her to Zak who wore a hurt expression on his face. I tried to telepathically tell him who's the problem when Holly stepped out eyeing us both.

"Well hurry up, you're letting the air conditioning out!" She snapped pushing past Zak to re-enter the house.

"Shut it, bugs bunny." I muttered causing Avari to giggle. I covered my mouth in shock as she took my hand pulling me to her level.

"Mommy. You know tomorrow is my birthday?"

I nodded "I do. How old are you going to be?" I asked her.

"Six, but because I'm six. Do I get 2 wishes? Because today is like my birthday too isn't it?"

I cocked my head "How do you mean?"

"I heard you telling Zak that I couldn't find out until the time was right. Tomorrow is my right birthday and we are here now. So do I get two?" She asked frowning.

I giggled "I suppose you're as good as a queen in my eyes. Let's think about it... Why do you want two wishes?"

"Well I want one for me, and the other to make Holly disappear." She admitted.

I bit my lip discreetly trying to suppress a laugh. "R-really?" I choked.

"Yeah. Gracie doesn't like her either and she broke Peanut. Remember?"

I turned serious and narrowed my eyes with Avari's "Oh I remember and nobody hurts Peanut."

"No they don't." She huffed holding him tightly.

"But we could go, only you won't see Gracie or find out what Zak has planned?" I reasoned.

She pondered twisting her foot in the gravel of his drive. "Holly doesn't like me mommy. If she is coming Zak won't speak to you. Cause Holly is always kissing him." She replied screwing her face up.

"Eww boy germs."

Avari nodded.

Little did she know, Zak germs was all I wanted.. He had awaken a sexually frustrated witch. No. Not Holly, but me.

"I like Zak and Gracie. So I think I should try." She decided.

"Good girl. Let's go show Holly that you're not scared of her and Peanut is not afraid of her either."

She nodded pushing a hand on her hip and marching to Zak's front door where he stood. She cranes her neck up and gave him a smile before holding up her arms.

Sucker for her eyes, he picked her up. "My goodness! You're even bigger than the last time I saw you! Stop growing!" He poked her tummy playfully causing a giggle.

"It's because I'm six tomorrow. 1,2,3,4,5,6!" She cheered.

I looked to see a hurt expression on Zak's face, he smoothed it quickly before she noticed but not quick enough for me.

"Good girl, why don't you go see Gracie. She has been sat on her bed for days, I think she might be sick." He stressed making Avari look worried.

Wiggling from his grip, he placed her down and let her run off into the house.

"Hey, what's up?" I asked jumping on the earlier expression.

"I've missed so much already. Guess I won't get used to that bite." He mumbled before pulling me in closer to give me a hug.

"Sleep okay?" He asked giving me a stronger and longer hug.

"No you woke me up and now I'm all groggy. I hope today involves some kind of nap." I replied.

He chuckled "Nap times were always my favourite... Always."

I smiled slightly remember the times I would be sprawled across his couch with Zak between my legs, his head on my chest and his arms holding my sides as he slept after a lockdown. Half the time, our 'Nap' would be almost half the day.

"Hmm." I replied a little thoughtful, I wondered if Holly took care of him as I had after every lockdown. If now she sat with him and coaxed him out of his nightmares, if she made him food when he was too weak to get out of bed for the first 3 hours. Or if she rubbed his back and massaged his neck when he step roughly the night before.

My answer based on a simple guess would be no.

Looking up to Zak I noticed his eyes were locked on my chest, I was about to chide him for doing it when I realised what I had on. Today I had put on a necklace, a necklace I had given to me by someone special. Zak's long fingers touched the gold medallion sheepishly before looking up at me.

"I'm sorry I wasn't there for you with Debbie." I whispered taking hold of his hand when the medallion slipped. He swallowed his emotions and nodded.

"You weren't here for a lot." He answered before stepping back letting me into his home.

Avari ran towards Zak with his wallet in her hand grinning.

"Avari?" I questioned.

"Wh- where did you find that?" He asked crouching down to take it from her hand.

"Your gran silly, she said never leave home without it. You might need to buy a lov-"

"A lovely lady tea." Both myself and Zak answered reciting his grans words before staring at each other in shock.

"I- she's here?" He asked.

Avari nodded as Zak touched his shoulder gently "Can you feel her hand?" She asked.

He nodded slightly looking away.

"Okay sweetie let's give Zak a chance." I whispered.

"She is always with you, right mommy?"

I blinked before nodding "Let's go and find Gracie.."

Taking Avari, I left Zak to have a minute to himself worried that maybe Avari overstepped a line.

But within 5 minutes Zak was hugging her tightly and beaming at her. "You are a very clever and very beautiful girl."

Avari frowned "I made Jack cry." She announced.

"What? How?" I asked finding this out.

"Well his gran would keep hiding his cap. So I told him his gran hid it, he cried because his gran is in heaven now. She only wanted to say hi." She answered.

Unprepared on how to answer, Zak took over easily. "Well, maybe Jack was shocked? Upset and confused. Not many children or even adults can understand your gift, you are special Avari. As special as your name." He replied.

"But what if special makes me weird?"

Zak shook his head "So what? I want to be exactly like you. I want to be wonderful and weird because being the same is boring."

She looked upset about it for a few seconds before smiling. "You can't be like me.. Because I don't think my Jelly sandals would fit your big feet."

I laughed at them as Zak looked at her shoes before looking at his own.

Sure they were different, not your average father and daughter but the bond was there and forever growing. Stitch by stitch they were fixing the 5 year gap that I had made when I took her away. Angry, I still kick myself for not seeing him face to face. Before taking off. But we all knew who to really blame, Queen Bitch sat on the couch texting away.

"Holly.." Zak sighed.

"What? I'm coming too. Deal with it." She answered folding her arms as she sat in the passenger seat waiting for us to get into the car.

"Fine. But don't moan if you get bored and I'm not buying you more things." Zak added.

"Sure now let's go shopping." She hurried him.

Loading us into the car, I sat in the back with Avari who was buzzing to go out in Zak's car. It seemed that he had a cooler car than mine.. It was true, but the only reason why Avari loved it was because it had a cup holder for her.

Despite having no drink... I know.

Driving to the strip, we filed into traffic whilst the air conditioning was on full and the radio was playing.

I recognised the song instantly and so did Avari as her head whipped up to look at me.

"Mommy." She spoke.

I smiled nodding my head to The Hoobastank - Reason.

But it was short lived when Holly turning it down "Can you not drive around them?" She huffed.

"Sure, I'll go over those three cars." Zak answered.

"Don't be rude to me!" Holly snapped back.

I looked down at Avari as she fixed a frown in Holly's direction.

"Mommy the song." She urged.

"It's okay ba-"

Zak turned on the radio hearing her and looking in the rear view at me as the song continued.

'I'm sorry that I hurt you
It's something I must live with everyday
And all the pain I put you through
I wish I could take it all away
And be the one who catches all your tears'

I moved away from his eyes looking at Avari who hummed along to the tune in her own little world. I had always loved the song. Mainly for its course and the fact the words we true thought out the song.

I always sang the chorus to Avari knowing she loved the song, I was sure my singing was awful but she entertained me enough to smile and sing along with me quietly.

'I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
And the reason is you.'

'I'm not a perfect person
There's many thing I wish I didn't do
But I continue learning
I never meant to do those things to you.'

As the last chorus sang out, I found myself looking at Zak whose gaze was fixated on the steering wheel. The words meant a lot, because I was far from perfect and my list of wrongs was long, but they were all a lesson I learned. But in all the heartache I had. All the sleepless nights and hunger strikes I put myself in unknowingly. I had hurt him too, deep down in the body of the man in the front, was a wound that I gave him when I took off without a second guess or blink of an eye.

We had both hurt each other, but the reason for change, sat beside me in her Jelly shoes and floral dress.

Avari was my reason.

^^^

Authors note; Time lapses, chapter endings  & Author notes will display this fancy little squiggle, a few writers use them and I found this one that I liked. They are called page breakers.  Googled it, there's loads!

Anyway, check out The Hoobastank - Reason.

One of my favourite songs. A few more of my favourite songs will appear in the book that I think will fit the story.

Happy reading bookworms :) x