"What you doing?" I asked quietly startling Zak from his position.

"Jesus Scarlett." He grumbled with his hand over his heart.

"What?" I asked amused.

"All these years and you can still creep around like a darn cat.." He moaned before stepping away from the glass doors and taking a seat on the couch.

"What's up with you? Grumpy."

He shook his head pushing the question away, but I folded my arms giving him the idea that I wasn't going to let up any time soon. He rolled his eyes "Okay fine. I-.. I know last night was different but this is a lot to take in."

"Avari." I confirmed sitting on the end of the couch.

"Yeah. Don't get me wrong, I'm not looking for a way out here, no I don't want that it's just-"

"You're not prepared to be a father, you've been thrown in the deep and asked to swim with a brick around your neck. You're struggling."

He looked ashamed but nodded.

"It's perfectly normal, Zak. In fact, I think I'd be worried if you took to a duck on water without having doubts. But I stand by what I've said, Avari doesn't need anyone but me. I'll be her everything, as I always have."

"No I want to be a part of her life." He confirmed.

"But a silent part?"

A frown filled his face "I'm not going to be a dead beat father."

"Right now you're not any kind of father.." I pointed out. "And not that I'm complaining, but as you know Ava is a lot of time. Patience, attention and some days she will drive you insane and other days? She's all you need when the world is coming down around you."

Zak shifted thinking about it.

"I understand if this is too much, but you now know.. Avari doesn't and if you're not going to put 100% into this, then I'd like your permission to withhold the information until she is old enough to make her own decisions and when she is old enough to understand."

"Bu-"

"I know your lifestyle Zak, I know how you live, your job and how much stress you come under. I also know how hard you work, and money for Avari? I don't want it. I've done this much on my own. I didn't tell you because I wanted something out of this. I told you because well... You need to know. One day she will too. And when that day comes, I hope you're ready. My biggest regret was leaving and not having the conversation with you like I did with Devin." I explained.

"Why are you being so nice? I'd kick my fucking ass." He grumbled.

"Why would I be mad? I have no ill feelings towards you Zak, you've gave my little girl back. For that, I'll always be grateful. I only wish for you to be happy, because since I've been back, this? This façade. It doesn't wash with me. Maybe it's because I know you more than you know yourself or others. But I see through your mask. You're fighting something, but it's not dark, it's not your job.."

He looked down to the floor frowning hard. My emotions choked me up slightly "I- it's like you're lonely and that is the saddest thing in the world." I replied as a tear escaped.

Zak's eyes shot to my face as I wiped my eyes. "Hey don't cry." Zak hushed.

"Sorry, it's just sad to see. What happened?" I asked.

"I don't know anymore." He admitted.

I moved seats and sat beside him giving him a hug. "I know you're not a real hugger but it makes people happy. Remember? Hug me back or I'll tell Avari." I warned causing a chuckle to leave his chest as he hugged me back.

"I wanna be part of her life. I don't want to lose you again either. You see through my bullshit Scar, you know me better than anyone." He whispered.

I pulled back and took his hand into mine playing with his rings, the gesture made him smile gently "You used to do that after a bad lockdown." He commented.

"I know.. But for me and Avari to be a part of your life? You gotta let us in. I don't expect a fairytale and for us to magically fall in love." I explained as his eyes looked at my face. I smiled gently "I've had that moment, I've dealt with it. This isn't about us, or what we used to do.."

He smirked.

"This is about building a relationship with the wisest 5 year old you'll ever meet. Your daughter and yes it's scary.. But I'll tell you what? She likes you a lot, not everyone is allowed access to Peanut."

"She does? I mean, I'm likeable to her?"

"Of course, why is that hard to believe though? You're a great person Zak. I don't fall for assholes." I pointed out.

"That and Tom Hardy is unavailable. But yes, maybe it's because she's attached to that Collie of yours who's an angel. Or maybe it's because for her she feels a bond? What she will interpret as friendship, I know it's father & daughter bonding." I added.

He nodded "I just don't wanna screw this up."

"You won't, cause I'm here.."

I watched his eyes light up as she went across the garden with Gracie throwing Peanut into the air. Poor Peanut..

"How do you do it?" He asked making me look back to him.

"What do you mean?"

"How do you live day to day without wanting to grab her and guard her from the world? From all the bad and the dark? From everything and everyone?"

I smiled "She was a bit more prepared for the bad then I was unfortunately. But it's a feeling you get used too."

"It is?"

"Yeah. It's called parenting Zak.. Welcome to my world."

****

"Jesus.." I muttered watching Zak as he stood in the cereal aisle.

"I can't decide." He frowned "I'll get both."

"Do you need both?" I asked making him pause.

"No..."

"Then chose one." I challenged. His face kept frowning and eventually a pout arrived.

"I don't like you're mothering techniques. Pumpkin which ones?" Zak asked Avari who seemed to answer to her new name of Pumpkin instantly.

"Those!" She pointed to the yellow box.

"Yeah I thought them. Just tried to be healthy." He replied handing her the box so she could toss it into the cart.

"You two pick up whatever you've want. You're staying right?" He asked.

"Huh?"

"At my house? I'm away next week. So you're gonna sit Gracie?" He asked hopeful.

"Yeah. But I can come shopping one day-"

"Just get groceries." Zak deadpanned.

"Fine. Don't moan when it's a high bill." I sang.

He scoffed. "Yeah cause I'm gonna moan about feeding you both after everything you've done.."

We walked around for a while until we got to the fruit and Veg section of the store. "Go wild sweetie." I nodded at Avari who gave me a look.

"You like Bananas. Apples-"

"We need, oranges, come help me." Zak interrupted pulling her along by her little hand.

I watched as he handed her a bag to hold open as he filled it with oranges. Then they moved to mangos, strawberries, blueberries, lemons, limes, pears, grapes (because even after 6 years, Zak knew I loved Grapes.) And finally a water melon.

"Woah!" Ava laughed as Zak set it into the cart.

A shopping cart full later, we returned home in silence after I tried to give Zak money for the shopping, in fact we kinda had a domestic in the shop and I refused to speak to him.

"Gracie!!" Avari called running into the house to find her as we unloaded the car. But as I made my way through the house, Avari ran back to me looking upset.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"Gracie is outside."

"Outside? She should be in the Lou-" I paused as I entered the lounge. Holly was sat on the couch with her leg folded over the other. Supporting a bruised face from my punch.

"What are you doing here?" I asked before looking back to see Zak looking at me confused.

When he made his appearance she stood up with a small smile "I've come to talk... Explain? If you'll let me?" She asked him.

Zak looked at me before looking at Holly. "Sit down, you'll have to wait until I've emptied the car."

She nodded taking a seat. "Gracie needed the toilet so I let her out..."

"And shut the door behind her." I muttered carrying the bag on.

Entering the kitchen, I pushed it onto the side and went to get the others where I walked into Zak who had stood directly behind me.

"Okay, I know you're mad." He whispered.

"Mad? I'm pissed. But it's not my house so..." I lifted my hands.

"Scarlett.."

"If she tells Ava. I will bury her."

He frowned "Why don't you want her to know? Are you embarrassed of me or something?"

I threw him a confused look "How have you got that idea? I don't want her knowing in case you decide this is all too much. Okay? My only interest and concern is for my daughter."

"Our daughter." He corrected.

Annoyed at the fact Holly is here and the fact Zak is giving her chance to explain. I said something I regretted instantly.

"You're already having second thoughts. Well I wish I did before sleeping with you. It's thanks to her we are tied together for life in the first place."

I watched the upset wash across his face "That's not fair.. I learnt about my 5 year old daughter from Holly's meddling, because you took her away. Otherwise she would still be your daughter and I'd be none the wiser. You're looking for someone to blame for all this? Look in the fucking mirror!"  He snapped tossing the bags on the side.

"Zak.. I didn't mea-" I jumped as he stormed out the kitchen and slammed the door behind him.

I clenched my fists and took a breath. Raking a hand over my face, I began to think we had outstayed our welcome.